The Renegades (Book 5): United (4 page)

I stared back at them deadpan.

“You will remain silent or you will be dealt with,” Sebastian added.

“I’d like to see you try,” I stepped forward.

“I don’t doubt he would have to try hard,” Rowan said letting out a small laugh. “Yeah, we heard about you last night.”

Eyes bore into me. I felt myself becoming hotter. It felt like my collar tightened around my throat.

“Oh, it was you who abandoned your post?” Sebastian said. “Now if I’m not mistaken, you are part of district one, are you not?” he chuckled looking at Ethan. “Not only can you not protect your district. You can’t even keep your men in check.”

“That’s enough from you,” Ben said stepping forward.

“Are you going to allow this, Ethan? What’s next? Them overthrowing us?”

“Not exactly much to overthrow in your camp, is there, Sebastian?” I said.

He pursed his lips together.

“You’re a fine one to speak,” Rowan said.

“I don’t need this shit. At the rate you assholes are going, this house of cards is going to fall in on itself in a matter of months. And to be quite honest, I hope it does.”

With that I turned and left.

I
walked
the few miles back to our house. No one followed. I didn’t expect them to. With more people, and more security, the need to cling to those who might help you survive became less important.

Arguing was what it had come down to. It always did before the apocalypse and nothing had changed after it. As life inside the walls created a sense of safety and stability, everyone naturally had less to deal with. All the small issues that would have usually fallen by the wayside now became big issues. Like who should lead? Who should speak, move or shit? Before, when we were reliant on each other, sure, we got up in each other’s faces but no one told anyone when they couldn’t speak.

You get your opportunity to speak once every three months.

“Cheeky asshole,” I muttered.

And yet it was to be expected. How many companies, religious institutions and community groups ran that way? Anyone who rocked the boat was seen as a troublemaker, a thorn in the side, an outsider.

The truth was, humanity had and always would struggle with power. It didn’t matter how good, honest or transparent people tried to be, eventually the responsibility to govern others would lead them into enforcing rules and regulations on others.

What you can smoke.

What you can drink.

What you can say.

What you can… fill in the blanks.

It was the same shit, repackaged up for those now trying to rebuild.

Of course, no one would want to feel like the odd one out and so most would abide by whatever led to a peaceful life, even at the cost of being shut down.

Well, I wasn’t going to be shut down.

If there was one thing good thing this apocalypse had done, it was that it had leveled the playing field. There was no government telling people where they could go, how they could live, what they had to abide by. It was a new world. Fucked up — but new.

After showering, grabbing a bite to eat and trying not to think about the lives that had been lost the previous night, as there was nothing that could be done for them now, I went over to the closet that held the clothes I had worn the day I left Castle Rock. I held them up to my face. They no longer reeked of death. They were clean but torn in areas. I had kept them as a reminder of where we came from.

I slipped into them, looked in the mirror and reflected on all that had changed. My brother came to mind.

You were meant to be here, Dax. You were meant to have made it,
I told myself.

Lost in thought I didn’t hear Wren come into the room. I noticed her in the corner of the mirror. She was standing in the doorway.

“You haven’t worn those in a long time.”

“I haven’t felt like the person who once did.”

She came in and took a seat on the edge of the bed. “You’re not going to stay, are you?”

I shook my head. “No.”

Her eyes dropped to the floor before she made this smacking sound with her lips.

“You don’t want to leave?” I asked.

“Why would I? My brother is here. Everything we need is here. Venturing out is insane.”

“I guess that depends on what you think sane is.”

“How long did it take you to get here? Isn’t it time you put down some roots? At least here we have a chance,” she said.

“Doing what? Listening to those assholes? Pretending the world has gone back to the way it was? It hasn’t. Nothing has changed. Z’s still roam. So we carve out an existence here, play good neighbors and bide out our time. For what, to be governed by another set of idiots?”

“Is that what this is about? Now wanting to abide by rules?”

I never replied.

“I don’t think it’s got anything to do with the rules. You need to decide what you want, Johnny.”

“What do you want?” I asked her.

“You, this place, a future without having to fight every day. Isn’t that enough? Am I not enough?”

I hesitated to reply, still mulling over that part about what I wanted.

“Well, I guess that’s your answer,” she said getting up off the bed.

“Wren.”

She left the room. I didn’t stop her. I’m not sure why.

* * *

A
s strange as it was
, few appeared torn up about the whole explosion and the death of sixty people. That’s because death had become a way of life. While we hadn’t witnessed it before on that scale inside the camp, it still occurred, usually on runs for food or medicine. Not everyone returned. Survival carried its own risk.

That afternoon I went over to North Haven to get on the ham radio. It was set up inside a small shack. A large metallic structure towered over the one-bedroom home that was empty. Inside, I pushed back drab-looking curtains to let in some of the daylight. It smelled musty inside.

“Specs. You there?” I spoke into the mic and waited. Someone else came on the line.

“That Johnny?”

“Yeah.”

“Hold up, I’ll grab him.”

While I waited, I pulled out a granola bar from my bag.

“How you holding up?” Specs asked coming on the line.

It was always good to hear his voice. I’d missed him. I brought him up to speed on what occurred last night. My reaction and the aftermath.

“Sounds heavy. You thought anymore about heading this way?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna do it. Though, how are you folks holding up with resources?”

“Fine man, why?”

“I have to ask. Have you considered coming this way?”

“Not really. We’ve built a home here, Johnny. Others have joined and well… you would be blown away by how much this place has changed since you last saw it.”

Communication between us went silent.

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

“What makes you think anything is the matter?”

“How long have I known you?”

“Long enough.”

“Then cough it up.”

I sighed. “Back in Castle Rock, I wanted out of the town. We all did. When all of this kicked off, we really didn’t have a choice in the matter. Everything was pushing us to find somewhere that was safe. Now that I’ve found it, at least I think I have, I’m not sure I want it. Does that sound strange to you?”

He laughed. “Everything that comes out of your mouth is strange, bud.”

There was a pause.

“No. No, I don’t think it is. Let’s face it, Johnny, before all of this, we all focused on distractions. Schooling. TV. Internet. A career. Travel. Making money.” He paused. “Outside of that what have you got? Basic living. Survival. Very little to aspire to beyond the day-to-day tasks which have become a hell of lot harder. Now that’s all well and good but if you’re not comfortable with that, it can leave you feeling restless. Me, well, I grew up living like the apocalypse was right around the corner. It’s not foreign to me.”

“I didn’t think it was for me.”

“Until Paradise you haven’t slowed down enough to barely think. Every day was about staying alive. Now there’s more than enough of you to carry the load, boredom has set in.”

He was right on the money. After Castle Rock, we hadn’t slowed down. Every moment of the day was spent looking over our shoulder, fighting Z’s and anyone who crossed our path. Now, to some extent that was no longer there.

“That’s probably why they are at each other’s throats,” Specs said. “It’s no longer about surviving. It’s about thriving. And as much as people want a community to thrive, they want to individually thrive. For some that is being top dog. It’s that competitive mindset that existed before all of this. It’s what drove people to boast about careers, money, where they’d been in the world and everything they owned. Cause let’s face it, take away all of that shit and what’s their boast about? What’s there to compete over? Land, position, titles, authority.”

And that was it in a nutshell.

“This is why you need to be here,” I replied with a laugh.

“I am there — just not in body.”

“Thanks, Specs.”

“Just remember. It’s not going to be any better here. Everyone still has to pull their load. And in many ways, it is more difficult because we are in an isolated patch.”

“But you have all the towns around.”

“Yeah, but it’s still risky. There aren’t enough of us to clear them like there is where you are.”

“How many do you have now?”

“Last head count was around nine hundred.”

I swallowed on a piece of my granola. “Are you serious? We left there and there was less than thirty. That’s almost the size of Castle Rock.”

“We’ve expanded. The Fortress walls are wider, thicker, higher and well, like I said, you wouldn’t recognize this place.”

I chuckled. “Who would have thought that you would become mayor of the Fortress?”

“Mayor?”

“Well, you call the shots, right?”

He paused for a second. “Yeah, I guess I do, I’ve not really even given much thought to it. Anyway, how is that freak of ours doing?”

“Baja?”

“Yeah, why the hell haven’t I heard from him? No offense, Johnny, I love chatting but it would be nice to hear from the others from time to time.”

“A lot has changed here, Specs. All of us live in different towns, well, Baja is in the same town but different home.”

“Why?”

“Why do you think? Everyone wants to be the top dog of their own neck of the woods.”

Our conversation continued. It always flowed freely and it wasn’t uncommon to find ourselves glancing at the clock and realizing that an hour had passed by. Specs told me to think over the decision a little longer. It wasn’t that he didn’t want me there but he knew that the chance of arriving alive was slim. How we had managed to survive this far was a miracle.

* * *

W
hen I returned home
that day, I noticed how quiet it was inside.

“Wren?”

I tossed my bag and gun down on a counter and walked through the rooms of the house. Once I made it into the bedroom I noticed the closet door was open and the few clothes she had left at my house were gone. I pulled out the drawers. All of them were empty.

I fell back on the bed and gazed up at the ceiling. I didn’t figure her the kind to up and leave, then again I hadn’t given her enough reason to stay.

What do you want?

Her voice echoed in my mind.

It’s no different than where you are, maybe it’s even harder
. Specs’s words came to me.

Now everyone has their opinions. Hell, you don’t have to travel far to find someone who sees the world black, while another sees it white. I knew that if anyone ever looked back on my life they would no doubt toss in their two cents about what they thought I should have done. He should have left. He should have stayed. Ah, what the hell does anyone know? Especially those who hadn’t walked in my shoes, seen what I had or been through the trauma of losing family.

But they were right. Both Wren and Specs. I needed to decide what I wanted.

As I lay there I heard the front door open.

“Anyone home?” It was Baja.

“Yeah, up here.”

I heard him take two steps at a time. He came into the room bringing with him a rush of air.

“Well fuck me.”

“I’d rather not,” I replied.

“No. Those clothes, dude. It’s time to burn that shit.”

“These were good back in the day.”

“Back in the day. It gives me the creeps.”

“What do you want, Baja?”

“You remember those rag heads who we brought back? The ones who started the explosion? Someone’s spotted them in the city. A group of us are going out. You wanna come?”

“Who’s going?”

“Who’s going? You are usually all gung ho to get out there and shoot shit up.”

“I still am. I just like to know who I have to rely on.”

He frowned. “You can rely on us all.”

“Can I, Baja? Can I?”

“Okay, dude, you are really weirding me out here. Get your shit together and let’s go bring these mofos back in.”

I sat up on the bed. “Who gave the command?”

“What do you mean?”

“Who wants us out there?”

“Sebastian.”

“Let me guess, he’s not going.”

“Leaders don’t.”

“Yeah, why is that? Isn’t a leader meant to lead?”