The Revelation (40 page)

“A Manhattan,” the guy says. He motions to a cute
brunette standing just behind him. “And a Chardonnay.”

“Absolutely. Guess what? Great news. Tonight just so
happens to be Dudes In Charcoal Suits Drink For Free Night.” I
slide two cocktail napkins onto the bar in front of him. “Your
drinks are on the house, man.”

The guy looks surprised. “Really?”

“Yep. They’re on me.” I flash him a huge smile. “Tip
included.”

When I contacted The Pine Box (at Jonas’
recommendation) and asked the owner if I might help tend bar for an
hour tonight (because, I said, I was trying to decide if I wanted
to quit my fancy job and go back to my college job), he wasn’t the
least bit open to the idea. As usual, though, money made the guy
change his mind and decide to help a brother out. “But you can’t
handle any customers’ money,” the owner warned. “Leave that to
Tim.” “No problem,” I assured him. “How about this: I’ll pay for
every single drink in the place, all night long. And I’ll serve all
premium liquor the whole time I’m there—you’ll make a mint,
bro.”

“Whoa,” the guy in the charcoal suit says, stuffing
his wallet back into his pocket. “A random act of kindness.
Thanks.”

“Something like that,” I say. “So check this out,
bro. I’m gonna make your Manhattan with a little extra kick, okay?
I’m gonna use a premium rye whiskey—maybe Overholt?—plus, I’m gonna
go off the rails and use orange bitters.”

The guy raises his eyebrows. “You’re going rogue,
huh?”

I laugh. “I know what you’re thinking—is he mad?
Just roll with it. If you don’t absolutely love it, I’ll make you
one the traditional way. But you’ll see. The rye whiskey’s gonna
really offset the flavor of the bitters nicely.”

“Okay. Cool. Thanks, man. Awesome.”

I look at the adorable brunette behind the guy. “Are
you in the mood to try something besides Chardonnay tonight? I’ve
got a Purple Rain recipe I’m dying to make for a lucky lady
tonight. Also completely on me, of course. If you like gin, you’ll
love it.”

“I love gin,” she says, her face lighting up. “I’ll
give it a whirl.”

I glance at the door. Jonas should have been here
already. Maybe Kat kept him waiting when he came to pick her up.
Kat didn’t know Jonas was coming, after all. She probably made him
sit and wait while she put on makeup or changed her clothes. That
girl is never fucking on time for a goddamned thing. I smile
broadly. And she’s always worth the fucking wait.

I push the drinks across the bar to the dude and his
date.

“Whoa,” the guy says. “Best Manhattan I’ve ever
had.”

“Love it,” his date says. “What’s in it besides
gin?”

I tell her and she praises me for being fucking
amazing, which, I must admit when it comes to making drinks, I am.
“When you’re ready for round two, lemme know. I’ll keep my tab open
for you all night long.”

“Thanks. Wow. You’re the man.”

Damn, I should totally do this once a week, just for
kicks. This is fun.

A smoking hot brunette comes into the place alone,
sits at the bar, and motions to me that she wants to order
something. I glance at Tim on the other end of the bar and he
motions to me like, “She’s all yours, man.”

I saunter down to her. “Hey, beautiful,” I say.
“What can I do for you?”

She raises her eyebrow. “Answering that question
with a drink order seems like such a shame.”

Oh
. Well. I glance at the door. I’d forgotten
about how much women hit on the bartender. That was always one of
the best perks of tending bar.

I smile at her. “You here alone, sweetheart?”

“Waiting for a friend. She just texted she’s running
late.” She makes a sad face.

“Well, no one gets lonely when I’m tending bar.
That’s the rule. What can I get you? It’s on me.”

Her eyes blaze. “Oh, thank you. That’s awfully sweet
of you.”

I look at the door. No Jonas. No Kat.

“Um,” she says. “Do you have a recommendation for
me? I feel like going outside my usual tonight. Maybe taking a walk
on the wild side.” She levels her dark eyes at me.

Oh man. This woman’s not fucking around.

“Hmm. Well, would you like a screaming orgasm,
perhaps?”

“You read my mind.”

“Coming right up.” I flash her my most lascivious
look.

“And what do you recommend to
drink
?” she
adds.

I laugh. “What’s your name, beautiful?” I ask.

“Lucy.” She puts out her hand and I shake it.

“Hi, Lucy. Love the name. I’m Josh. Pleased to meet
you.”

“You’re new here?”

“Yeah. Just on a trial basis. Just for tonight.”

“Oh, well, lucky I came in tonight, then. I’d be
happy to tell the owner to hire you. You’re the best bartender,
ever.”

“I haven’t made your drink yet.”

She flashes a flirtatious smile. “It doesn’t
matter.” She licks her lips.

I run my hand through my hair. Shit, have women
gotten more aggressive since I used to do this in college? “Well,
Lucy. Thanks for the vote of—” I glance down at the other end of
the bar and I’m met with two eyes of blue steel boring holes into
the back of my skull like a fucking Gamma Ray.
Kat.
In full
Jealous Bitch mode. My heart and dick both leap at the sight of
her. How is it possible she’s even more beautiful than she was last
week?

I wink at her and her eyes flicker.

She grits her teeth.

It’s all I can do not to burst out laughing. Fuck, I
love Jealous Kat. She’s never sexier than when she’s plotting a
murder.

I quickly turn my attention back to my new brunette
admirer. My gut tells me letting Jealous Kat simmer for a little
while longer will only make this porno hotter in the end. Plus, I’m
not one hundred percent sure how this particular porno’s supposed
to play itself out. I know Kat’s on a date with Boring Blane and
I’m the hot bartender who catches her eye. That part is clear. But
the rest is kind of nebulous. I’m pretty sure she’s gonna slip me a
note. Yeah, that’s it. She’s supposed to slip me a napkin with a
note scribbled on it. And then we fuck in the bathroom. And then
she returns to her date like nothing even happened. Fucking
hot.

“Sorry, Lucy,” I say. “I got distracted there for a
second. Thanks for the vote of confidence. Yeah, if you could tell
the owner you want me to get the job, I’d be grateful. Seems like a
cool place.”

“Sure, Josh. My friends and I come in here about
once a week after work. You’d be a sight for sore eyes after a long
day, that’s for sure.”

I flash her my most charming smile. “Thanks. You’re
a sweetheart.”

She throws her head back and laughs. “Oh, my. You’re
adorable.” She bites her lip. “Absolutely adorable.” She leans in.
“How late are you working tonight?”

I lean in. “I’m not sure yet.”

“Well, let me know when you find out,” she
whispers.

I grin. “First things first, lemme get you that
screaming orgasm.”

“If I get my way, that’ll be first things first.
Second things second. And third things third.”

Oh shit. This woman is a fucking carnivore. Were
women this savage when I was tending bar at twenty-two? Shit, if
they were, I don’t remember it quite this way. If I weren’t here to
deliver a porno-fantasy to the woman of my dreams tonight, I’d no
doubt be banging this woman to within an inch of her life an hour
from now. Jesus God.

“Just a second, Lucy. I’ve got a customer flagging
me down at the other end of the bar. Your screaming orgasm will be
coming right up.” I wink.

As I walk the length of the bar toward Kat, I feel
like a man walking a gangplank. She looks literally homicidal.
Damn, she’s gorgeous. Especially when she’s in terrorist mode. I
have the sudden impulse to leap over the bar and take her into my
arms and kiss the hell out of her, but this slow burn is way too
hot to fuck with. Kat’s got fantasy-pornos playing in her head?
Well, I guess it turns out I do, too. She’s jealous of the
man-eater down at the other end of the bar? Well, good. It’ll only
make sex in the bathroom that much better.

I come to a halt immediately across the bar from
Jonas and Kat. My brother looks like he wants to throttle me and
Kat looks like she wants to filet me and cut off my balls.

“Hey, guys,” I say. “Welcome to The Pine Box.” I
push two napkins in front of them, my eyes fixed on Kat. “Hey,
beautiful,” I whisper. “Man, are you a sight for lonely eyes. I
haven’t stopped thinking about you all week, babe.”

Kat bites her lip. Her chest is rising and falling
visibly. (And, damn, what a fine looking chest it is, especially in
the cleavage-baring blouse she’s got on.)

“Hey, bartender,” Kat says, her voice tight. She
clenches her jaw. “I’ve been dying to see you, too.” Her cheeks
flush. “Surprised to see you working the crowd so well.”

I shrug. “It’s what bartenders do, babe. Can’t keep
a fish from swimming.”

She practically snarls.

“So, you two on a date tonight? Lemme guess. Did you
two kids meet online?”

Jonas rolls his eyes, clearly not willing to play
along.

I laugh. “What can I get you? Drinks are on me.”

“What are you having, Jonas?” Kat asks.

“I’d like the most complicated and annoying drink
you can possibly imagine. Something that literally
pains
you
to make because it’s so fucking involved. I don’t normally drink
because I’m a professional baseball player and I’m highly
disciplined during the season, mind you, but for some reason now
that I’m seeing you here, acting like a total douchebag”—he motions
to the other end of the bar—“all I wanna do is cause you maximum
pain.
”

I glance down the bar in the direction Jonas has
indicated. Lucy is biting her fingertip, watching me, her eyes
burning like hot coals.

I clear my throat. “Hey, bro. No
problemo
. I
know exactly what to make you. I’ve got the perfect drink for you.”
I look at Kat. “And you, miss? What can I do for you? My wish is
your command.”

I can almost hear Kat’s heart beating from here.

She’s so fucking gorgeous, she’s causing me
pain.

I shouldn’t do it—I know I shouldn’t—it’s obviously
not part of the role-play—but I can’t resist. I’ve missed her too
much not to feed my addiction right fucking now.

I reach across the bar and touch that hot little
cleft in her chin.

At my touch, Kat parts her lips and exhales a shaky
breath.

And just like that, I’m rock hard.

“What can I get you?” I breathe. “Name it. It’s
yours. Anything at all, babe.”

She swallows hard. “
I want a douchebag
,” she
says.

There’s a long beat. I can’t decide if that’s a
drink order or if she’s referring to me.

“Crown Royal and a splash of Coke,” she clarifies,
solving the mystery for me.

“Really? Is that really a thing?”

She nods. “Look it up. It’s a real thing. And I want
one—I want one bad.”

I smirk. “Okay, then. A douchebag it is. With
pleasure.” I look at Jonas. “And for you, sir, I’ll be making
something called The Dork. White rum, Pisang Ambon, Licor 43, lemon
juice and pineapple juice—served in a highball glass. Hope you
enjoy it.”

Jonas makes a face of pure disgust.

I laugh and slide a Heineken across the bar.

He grins despite himself.

My eyes flicker back to Kat. “I’ll be right back to
serve up your douchebag, gorgeous. I gotta go give that brunette
down there a screaming orgasm first.” I motion to my admirer down
at the other end of the bar. “While I’m gone, enjoy your date. This
guy seems super interesting. Have fun, you two.”

Kat’s eyes flash wickedly at me, but I turn my back
on her and traipse on down to the other end of the bar, my cock
tingling.

“Sorry for the delay, Lucy. Got to chatting with a
couple down there. They’re on a blind date. Cutest couple
ever.”

“No problem. Tim came over and offered to give me a
screaming orgasm, but I told him I only want one from
you.
”

“Aw, shucks, Lucy. That’s awfully sweet of you. That
makes me feel so special.” I glance at Kat on the other end of the
bar. Her eyes are trained on me like a sniper. She looks ready to
jump on top of the bar and leap on this woman like a cheetah
downing an impala. “Well, then, I guess I’d better get moving, huh?
Don’t worry, it only takes me a couple minutes to give most women
the best screaming orgasm of their life. You’re only minutes away
from complete satisfaction, sweetheart.”

She shifts in her chair and makes a sexual
sound.

I steal a quick look at Kat—and she’s about to lose
her fucking mind.

I turn around and grab the ingredients I need for
Lucy’s drink, laughing to myself about what a stroke of luck it was
to unexpectedly have this hot little tamale on my tip right in
front of Kat. I couldn’t have planned it better if I’d tried.

I serve up Lucy’s drink to her and she takes a
greedy sip.

“
Orgasmic
. Thank you. And thank you for
buying it for me.”

“My pleasure,” I say.

“Excuse me,” Kat’s voice says from behind Lucy’s
shoulder. She’s standing literally right behind Lucy, her hands on
her hips, her nostrils flaring. I straighten up to get an unimpeded
view and I’m met with Kat’s blazing face in full Jealous Bitch
mode.

“Oh, hey, miss,” I say, trying not to grin too
broadly. “Your douchebag is coming right up. I’m sorry I’m kinda
slow. I’m new. I was just giving Lucy here a screaming orgasm.”

“Forget about making me a
drink
,” she says.
“I want a
douchebag
.” She elbows her way to the edge of the
bar, right next to Lucy, completely invading the other woman’s
personal space. Much to my surprise, she turns her head and smiles
with full teeth at Lucy, the way a great white shark smiles at a
sea lion. Oh shit. I’ve never seen her look more like a murderer
than right now. “I’m on a blind date with that guy down there,” she
says breezily. She points to Jonas.