The Revenge of Dr Von Burpinburger (9 page)

Templeton Grammar was in the middle of its school anthem when Einstein scampered onto the stage.

Mr Growlworthy didn't see the mouse; he was singing at the top of his lungs. Miss Graymouth didn't see him either. She was singing so heartily that it looked as if her false teeth might fly out at any moment and bite someone in the first row.

Einstein scurried across the stage and hid under the teacher's long dress. The students saw it all, and the last verse of the school song fell away in a heap of laughing and whispers.

‘That's quite enough, Templetonians,' the headmaster scolded. ‘Best behaviour, please. The film-makers could appear at any moment.'

Indeed, the film-makers did appear, stumbling onto the stage along with Nathan Sharp and his mates. Eric followed close behind them. Einstein seemed to be handling the situation extremely
well, but Eric wanted to stick close to him just in case something went wrong.

‘Where is he?' the doctor burped.

‘I beg your pardon?' Mr Growlworthy stared in horror at the motley crew.

‘My mouse, you fool!' the doctor roared. ‘Hand him over!'

‘Now just a minute, my good man!' The headmaster wagged his finger at the doctor.

Before Mr Growlworthy could say another word, Einstein appeared from under Miss Graymouth's dress and waved at his pursuers.

‘There he is,' Nathan shouted. ‘He's mine!'

Nathan ran at the mouse. But he slipped and slid across the floor, straight into Miss Graymouth's legs, sending the teacher flying.

Her false teeth went flying as well, right up into the air. The whole school watched the dirty dentures twist and twirl as they flew upwards, then snap and clack as they fell. They landed on
Nathan, slipping down the back of his pants, still snapping.

‘Help!' he shouted, running around the stage. ‘That biting demon's after me now!'

Meanwhile Einstein had vanished, only to reappear on the headmaster's shoulder, this time wriggling his bottom at Dr von Burpinburger. The doctor threw himself at the mouse, but only succeeded in knocking over the headmaster.

‘How dare you!' Mr Growlworthy shouted. But before he could say any more, the doctor was scrambling over him to get at Einstein.

The mouse was performing a handstand only a few metres away, followed by three somersaults and a little rap dance to finish off. All the students roared with laughter, and cheered him on.

Einstein was having so much fun he didn't see Tikazza Brique creeping up from behind. The students called out a warning, but the mouse was spinning on his stomach and didn't hear a thing. Eric yelled, too, and ran towards Einstein. But he was too late. Brique pounced.

‘Got you!' he crowed, wrapping his huge hand around the mouse.

‘No!' shouted Eric, diving at Brique, but the big Bulgonian pushed him aside.

‘Excellent, Brique.' Dr von Burpinburger cheered. ‘I'll take care of him now. Hand the little beggar over.'

‘You won't forget the reward, will you, Master?'

‘Of course not. When we get back to Bulgonia the money will be all yours. You'll be rich, Brique. Rich!' The doctor held out his hand.

Brique trembled with delight. ‘Rich!' Then he handed over the mouse. ‘Here, Master. All yours.'

‘At last.' Dr von Burpinburger grasped Einstein in his clenched fist, holding the mouse tight so that he couldn't bite. ‘Mine at last.'

A huge boo went through the school like a Mexican wave.

‘Give him back,' someone called. ‘He's not yours,' another shouted. And then everyone began chanting. ‘Let him go. Let him go,' they chorused over and over.

‘Not a chance!' the doctor smirked and tried to hurry off stage.

But Mr Growlworthy blocked his way. ‘That mouse is one of us,' he said. ‘I declare him an honorary Templetonian. Hand him over.'

Miss Graymouth was there, too. ‘You heard the headmaster. Let him go you unadulterated scoundrel.' She lashed out with her umbrella, striking the doctor on the head.

Brique and Burpinburger spun around and scurried down the stage stairs, into the hall. But here the students blocked their way. ‘Let him go,'
they chanted, stamping their feet and pressing in on the pair.

‘Never!' the doctor shouted. He held up Einstein for all to see. ‘If I can't have him, no one will. Keep back!' The doctor then squeezed Einstein so tight that the mouse squeaked in pain. ‘I'm warning you,' he shouted. ‘If anyone tries to stop me, I'll squeeze the last bit of life out of his little body. You hear? I'll kill him!'

But the students still moved closer, chanting and booing. The doctor squeezed harder. Einstein turned purple, gasping for air.

‘He means it,' Eric yelled as loud as he could. ‘Please, everyone. Move back! Otherwise he'll kill Einstein. I know he will.'

After a few seconds, the students eventually did as Eric asked. The doctor released his grip, though only a little. Then he and Brique moved through the crowd of students, out of the hall and into the school grounds.

Everyone followed the evil pair. Eric was closest of all, his eyes on Einstein, thought-talking with his little mate.

Try to wriggle free
, he urged Einstein.
Enough so you can bite him.

I'm trying
, the mouse replied.
But I need more time. Slow them down if you can.

‘Please,' Eric begged the doctor. ‘Can't we talk about this?'

‘No way,' the doctor snarled.

The two villains kept moving through the
grounds towards the main gate. Eric felt utterly helpless, utterly hopeless. Einstein's voice rang in his head.
Don't let them take me!
The mouse was wriggling and squirming to free himself, but the doctor's hold was far too tight.

That's when something quite unexpected happened.

As they reached the school gate, a taxi screeched to a halt, and Eric's parents leapt out.

Eric couldn't believe his eyes. ‘Mum, Dad – what are you doing here?'

Before Mr and Mrs Wimpleby could say anything, Dr von Burpinburger pushed in front of them. ‘Excellent,' he laughed, nodding at the taxi. ‘Just what the doctor ordered.'

'Wait, Eric's mother pleaded. ‘Can't we help sort this out in some way?'

‘You've already been a great help,' the doctor replied. ‘You've provided me with this wonderful getaway car.'

‘No, I mean isn't there something else we can do to –'

‘Yes, there is something else,' the doctor snapped. ‘You can get out of the way!'

Eric's father stepped towards the doctor.

‘We can pay.' He produced a wad of money and began peeling off one-hundred-dollar notes. ‘I know you want to turn this mouse into a movie star. And I can understand that; he's a real character. But why don't we go into business together on this?'
Mr Wimpleby peeled off more notes. ‘Go ahead, name your price. Whatever you want.'

‘Don't be ridiculous,' the doctor hissed. ‘He's priceless.' Then he squeezed Einstein until the mouse squealed again. ‘Now out of the way – or it's curtains for the mouse!'

‘It's no good, Dad,' Eric said. ‘You have to let him pass!'

Mr Wimpleby backed off, and the doctor and his assistant continued on their way. Everyone watched in tense, sad silence.

But then, when the villains were only a few metres from the taxi, that silence was broken by a sound Eric knew only too well.

The sound of wings.

What a sight! Hundreds of birds were descending upon the school. The sky was thick with them.

Luke was leading the pack. He was heading straight for Dr von Burpinburger, preparing to launch the biggest bum-bomb ever dropped in the history of bird battles.

Luke gave a squawk, the doctor looked up – and scored a whopping dollop of pigeon poop fair in the face. But worse, when he opened his mouth to protest, a second blob sent him into a splutter of bird-bomb burps.

Dr von Burpinburger stumbled backwards and loosened his grip on Einstein. The mouse struggled free just enough to bite that horrid hand. The doctor screamed and threw his arms in the air.

Einstein was tossed high into the sky just as Luke swooped beneath him. The mouse made a perfect landing on the pigeon's back.

He whispered something to Luke. The pigeon cooed out loud, and at once
all
the birds began diving on the villains.

By the time those two rogues reached the taxi they were pecked to pieces and completely coated in bird poo.

‘Step on it!' Dr von Burpinburger screamed at the driver as he fell into the car.

The whole of Templeton Grammar chased after that taxi. Through the school gate and down the road they ran, booing and hissing. Mr Growlworthy shook his fist at the scoundrels, while Miss Graymouth rattled her umbrella at them.

The birds pursued the taxi all the way out of the city.