The Revolution (32 page)

“Are my injuries that bad?”

“No,” she replies sadly.

I don’t understand her reaction to me. “Then what’s wrong?”

“We should wait for the nurse. I’ll go get her.”

She reaches the door quickly. “Rochelle?” With her hand on the doorknob, she wordlessly looks back. I ask, “Is everything all right?”

One nod. That’s all she gives me before she disappears and I’m left alone in this hospital room.

Where the IV is attached stings, and I have bruising up and down my arm. My wrist looks swollen. I see the marks on my chest and a flash of light hits behind my eyes and I close them. Headlights.

The door is opening and I look up. My parents rush to my side and smile. “Hi,” I whisper, tears forming just from the sight of them.

“Sweetie,” my mom coos. “You’re awake. How do you feel?”

“Groggy.”

My dad says, “That’s to be expected. The nurse said she can give you something if you’re in pain.”

“My legs are stiff,” I tell my dad.

“They say that’s normal. You’ve been in the same position for hours and your body has been through a lot.”

“What happened?”

“You were in a car accident,” my mom says. “We’re lucky you’re alive.”
A car accident? Why can’t I remember that?

“So it was bad?”

Dad shoves his hands in pockets, clearly uncomfortable. It must be hard to see your only child in a hospital surviving a car crash. “It was. Do you remember anything?”

“Headlights.”

“Do you remember who you were with?”

“Michael? The nurses said not to interrogate her right when she wakes up.”

I laugh at the admonishment. “It’s fine. I don’t remember anything. Who was I with?”

“Mark. Mark Renner.”

Sitting up, alarmed, I ask, “Is he okay?”

They glance to each other before looking back at me. “He’s in a coma.”

“Oh my God. I need to see him.”

“What?” my dad asks. “No. You can’t.”

“Dad, I need to. He needs me.”

My mom says, “Get a nurse, Michael.” She sits on the side of the bed. “Honey, why do you want to see him?”

“Because he was trying to protect me.”

“From what?”

“From Kaz.”

THE REFLECTION IN
the window stares back at me. Night had come crawling back before I had a chance to appreciate the day. I don’t know the time, but my body’s tired. My mind is worse. I lower my head and rub my temples as if this nightmare is just that and I can wake up from it.

As if Lara running to escape me, screaming in terror because of
me
, wasn’t enough, her words shattered my heart. The nurses say this is a normal side effect from a traumatic event, but I’m calling bullshit.
How could she think I would hurt her? Does she not know I did everything I could to protect her?

How does she not see me?
The one who loved her through the worst thing to happen to her? How does she not see the man who made love, real love, with her, to her?

“Kaz?”

I look back at Rochelle. “Is she asleep?”

“She is. It’s not peaceful, even under sedation. I don’t know what happened to her, but she’s struggling.”

“I want to help her.”

“But you can’t.”

“She remembers me as a monster. Why?”

Rochelle sits in a chair. The waiting area is busy, but it’s large, so we have privacy in the corner. “I don’t know. Whatever happened before the accident is what has messed with her mind, but she doesn’t have amnesia, so this will pass. The doctor even thinks it will be soon.”

Glancing at the guys, I stand and go over. “You guys can go home. She’s safe and the media presence will rise with the sun.”

Dex steps forward and shakes my hand. When I take it, I’m pulled in for a hug. “She’s going to be okay.”

Nodding, I step back. Johnny shakes my hand next and brings me in again. These guys are softer on the inside than they let on. With a pat on the back, he says, “We’re family. Remember that.”

“I will.” I return a few pats before we part. Holli slips between us and hugs me tight. I wrap my arms around her waist, but Johnny stands there watching us, so I loosen my hold. “Thank you for checking on her last night.”

“I’m sorry. The lights were out. We knocked and didn’t hear—”

“You’re not to blame. You did what you could.”

“I’m sorry,” she replies, sniffling. “I’d like to stay.”

“Go home. Get some rest. You’ve had a long night.”

When we separate, she says, “So have you. I’ll stay if you want to go home.”

“I can’t leave her.” She nods. “Go home with Johnny. Rochelle will keep you updated.”

“Okay. I’ll be back in a few hours too. I want to shower and change clothes. Maybe a few hours sleep.”

When she moves under Johnny’s arm, I slap hands together with Derrick and we bring it in for a chest bump. I say, “Brother.”

“I’m sorry, man.”

“So am I.”

“You want me to stay? Keep you company? Get some real food or coffee?”

“Nah, go home. We’ll keep in touch.”

“Call if you need anything.”

“Why?” I ask with a grin. “Your lazy ass won’t leave that bed once you hit it.”

He laughs. “True. Call Holli or Tommy.”

“Ha!”

They start walking toward the garage where they can avoid the paps that have been waiting outside basically since we arrived. Tommy offers, “I’ll stay. For real. You go home and get some Z’s.”

“I can’t leave her.”

“I’m gonna head to the coffee shop next door and grab a cup. I’ll bring you one.”

I could try to convince him to go home, but I know Tommy. He’s a giver. He sees us as the family he needs to protect. I know he’s not going anywhere. Maybe he will in a few hours. I’ll try then. For now, I reply, “Thanks.”

Rochelle walks Dex down the hall. They stop at the far end and hug. He touches her cheek, lifting her chin. Her long hair hangs down her back, and then he says something that brings a small smile to her face before they kiss.

I want that.

Back.

I want that
back
.

With Lara.

I want that back with Lara.

Sitting down in the hard chair, Lara’s dad sits across from me. “She’s asleep.”

“Rochelle told me.”

“Tell me something, son.”

Looking up, I stare into his face. I see Lara in some of his features, but she resembles her mom more. Worry creases across his forehead. “What do you want to know?”

“You love my daughter.”

“Are you asking?”

“No. I can see you do.” I watch him as he stands and walks to the window. “Why was she with Mark if he had done what Rochelle told us?”

“That’s a good question. I’m not sure I have the right answer.”

He tucks his hands in his pockets. “What answers do you have, Mr. Fabian?”

“I don’t think she was with him willingly. And I know she loves me… loved. Maybe I don’t have the answer to that anymore.”

“Rochelle said she loves you. Lara’s mother says she does. Lara told her. She’s been more secretive with me. I think she knows I wouldn’t have reacted well to the news of what Mark did to her.”

“I didn’t.”

The right side of his mouth rises and he looks back at me. “I know. Thank you.”

“It was actually my pleasure.”

“So the bastard is in a coma.”

“Seems that way.”

“The police think he was trying to kill them, that he purposely crashed the car. What do you think?”

I rub my temples, tired and angry and tired of being angry. My stomach twists thinking that he tried to kill her. The thought has crossed my mind more than a dozen times. “I think they might be right.”

“He tried to kill my daughter.”

“Twice.”

“He’s right down that hall.”

“In room thirteen sixty-four and unguarded.”

Our eyes meet and we nod. There’s no sympathy when Mark Renner is the topic of conversation.

“For the time being.” He exhales and walks to the waiting area. “I should get back to Lara’s mother.”

“Good talking to you.”

“Good talking you.” With a nod, he walks back to Lara’s room.

I’m tempted to follow, but since the last incident, I stay. Leaning back, I try to get more comfortable in the chair. Eyes are on me, so I can’t relax. I get up. Rochelle comes toward me and gestures. “Come on.” I enter Lara’s room quietly, following Rochelle inside. “Wait in here with us.”

Lara’s mom says, “We’re going back to her townhouse for a few hours. She’s stable so we’ll come back in the morning. Will you be staying or would you like a ride home?”

“I’ll stay.”

Coming straight up to me, she hugs me. “Thank you for taking care of our daughter.”

I hug her back, dropping my head to her shoulder. “I love her,” I whisper.

“I can see how much.” We part, but her kind yet tired eyes, so much like Lara’s, stay on me. “Maybe in the morning we can sit down and you can tell me about it. Lara confided in me. She said you were the one.”

She said I was the one?
If my heart didn’t ache so much, I think I’d be overjoyed by that. I just hope she feels the same when she wakes, because I’m not sure I’ll cope if she doesn’t. “She’s afraid of me now.”

She reaches up and touches my cheek. With a soft smile, she says, “Her heart knows you. It will work out.” Walking to the door, her husband joins her. “Good night.”

Rochelle and I both answer, “Good night.”

When we’re alone, I go to Lara’s side and take her hand. Raising it to my lips, I kiss it, letting my lips linger against her skin.

Rochelle says, “Maybe I should get some sleep.”

“I’ll stay up.”

“All right. Wake me up if she wakes up.”

“I will.”

Rochelle lies down on the small sofa against the far wall and closes her eyes. I pull up a chair and sit, resting my head so her hand is under my cheek. The quiet room insists on sleep and I reluctantly close my eyes. After being up for a day and flying across the country, I give in.

Comfort caresses me, fingers weaving into my hair. All the love I’ve ever felt for her is there and I see it in her eyes. She rests her head on my shoulder and I hold on to her, not wanting to lose her again. My arms come up empty and I cry out for Lara. But the darkness falls away, replaced by light when I open my eyes. I look up. Lara is looking at me. Her eyes aren’t wide with fear like before, the corners easy with concern.
For me?
She whispers, “You don’t scare me.”

I sit all the way up, hating that her hand falls to the bed when I prefer her touching me. I don’t push her, although all I want to do is hold it. “I hope not.”

“I know what we had. I just don’t know what happened last.” Her voice is too steady, and distant, her emotions held firmly at bay.

“You will. You have to give yourself time to heal.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what? You have nothing to be sorry for.”

She exhales and looks up at the ceiling. “For earlier. I don’t know why I reacted like that.” When her eyes meet mine, she adds, “Well, I do, but I don’t at the same time. It makes no sense. I know I loved you.”

Loved.

Her gaze leaves mine and she pulls at a loose thread on the hospital blanket. “What happened at the end?”

“There are only two people who can answer that: you and him.”

“He’s in a coma. Is he going to live?”

I’m afraid so.
“Yes.”

“Maybe I should visit him.”

We turn to the far side of the room when Rochelle speaks, “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Lara.” She stands and comes to the other side of her bed, opposite of me. Briefly glancing to me, she tells her, “He’s responsible for the car crash.”