The Rift (20 page)

Henry nodded. “Wraith thinks a couple members
of his pack may have taken her as some sort of power play.”

“Shit,” I said, sinking down next to Henry.
“What can I do?”

“Jed asked you, extremely politely, to please
remain in the house or he’d be very unhappy.”

“I’m sure that’s exactly what he said,” I
said.

“Kelsey, I’d like to speak to you in my
office, please,” Doctor Veronica said.

“I’m sorry Doc, but I have to eat something
or I’m going to fall over.”

“See me in my room after,” she said.

“So what the fuck is Jeremiah’s issue?” Henry
asked, when we were seated at the table with reheated rice and
beans in front of me.

I shrugged. “Tessa said he’s adjusting to
being a wolf.”

“Wraith doesn’t seem to be having these
problems.”

“Jeremiah’s trying to protect the love of his
life.”

“You think that excuses his behavior?”

I chewed thoughtfully. “Excuse it? No. But it
might explain it.”

Henry stared down at the table for a long
minute. “We had this case once, in New Orleans. A reaper had reaped
a serial killer. He figured it was a righteous reap, because he
could stop the killing.”

“Was it authorized?”

Henry shook his head. “No, but Varius didn’t
give the guy too much grief about it. I mean we try, but we can’t
stop every unauthorized reap and the guy didn’t have a record. I
got sent down there when he started killing people.”

I swallowed my mouthful, no longer hungry.
“Same as the serial killer?”

Henry nodded. “He had a different method and
a different kind of target, but the need to kill was still in the
body even after he took it over.”

“And you think Jeremiah’s behavior isn’t
Bruce but the anger that Jeremiah had?”

“Even after we killed the body of that serial
killer and the reaper returned to spirit form, he wasn’t right. The
body had left darkness on him like a tar. He ran from us and killed
ten reapers before we tracked him down and destroyed him.”

“Shit.” I had never been Bruce’s biggest fan,
but he’d been a good guy and he really loved Angelica. I didn’t
want to see him twisted and cruel.

“Angelica had a big bruise on her cheek when
she got back here tonight,” Henry said. “When I asked her about it,
she said she fell.”

“On her cheek?”

“That’s what I said. I figured it had to be a
pretty funny story, and I wanted to know how one manages to fall on
one’s cheek.” Henry shook his head. “When I asked, she burst into
tears.”

“You don’t think…”

“I do, Kelsey. I think Jeremiah hit her. I
think whatever was left of Bruce is losing control to the person
Jeremiah once was.”

“How is that possible?”

Henry shrugged. “I’m not into the science
side of things, but a person’s actions and thoughts can sometimes
be altered by the way chemicals flow through their brain and their
body. If Jeremiah’s anger and violence was caused by excess
testosterone or a chemical imbalance, Bruce would be affected by
that. And if Bruce’s spirit is weak, if the only thing holding him
here is his love for Angelica, he might not be able to withstand
those physical issues.”

“She’ll never leave him,” I said as I pushed
my plate away, no longer hungry.

He nodded. “We might have to make her, but we
won’t be doing anything until we find Tessa. We can’t risk taking
away Jeremiah’s girlfriend and having him go ballistic while his
buddies have one of our people.”

“Angelica will never forgive us.”

“But she’ll live.”

I stood. “I better go talk to the doc,” I
said. “Let me know if they find Tessa.”

Doctor Veronica was furious when I told her
I’d almost been killed…again. “How can they expect me to help you
when you keep being exposed to trauma?” she asked.

“I don’t think they expect you to help me.”
She really seemed to care about me, as much as I hated her methods,
and I thought she deserved the truth. “Yvonne has some sort of deal
with Wraith, trading me for tax money and a truce.”

Doctor Veronica’s brows came together and she
frowned furiously. “Then why the hell the charade about an
intervention for you?”

“Maybe she’s really concerned about my mental
health and…two birds, one stone?”

She tapped her finger against her chin for a
few moments. “Somebody must be,” she said. “Otherwise, she’d have
just sent you here with instructions to get to know Wraith. If I
had to guess, I’d say she’s trying to keep Jed happy.”

Jed had already told me the intervention was
his idea, but “why bother, if he’s just going to be pissed when he
finds out about the trade?”

“Who told you about it?”

“Wraith.”

“Why would he tell you? He seems to have the
least to gain from you knowing about it.”

I shrugged. “He claims he’s trying to be
honest with me. He doesn’t want me to choose to be with him under
false pretenses.”

“Do you trust him?”

“Honestly, Doc, I don’t trust anyone, but
what he’s offering me…I’m so tired of being afraid all the time and
having to fight for my life. He believes he can offer me
safety…protection no one else can.”

“Safety and protection are illusions,” Doctor
Veronica said.

“Wow, you’re really great at making people
feel better. I do believe I’m cured.”

She smiled at me like I was a small child.
“I’m not going to lie to you, Kelsey, because you already know what
I’m saying is true. A cousin of mine was driving home in a
thunderstorm two years ago and a tree branch broke off, hit her
car, and killed her. There are at least as many ways to die as
there are to live, but you won’t live at all, no matter what
choices you make, if you don’t confront your fears and learn to
overcome them.”

“Is that even possible?” I asked, feeling
very small. “Can I ever overcome them?”

“You can at least stop being crippled by
them, stop letting them eat away at your sanity and your happiness.
Fear is the cost of being alive. You will never overcome it fully,
in my opinion. You will never hear a crash in the middle of the
night and not awaken with your heart pounding and your breath
short, but maybe I can help you to stop having nightmares. Why
don’t we discuss what happened tonight?”

“I stopped feeling afraid for a little while.
I almost got killed. Then I took Jeremiah out, and I felt strong,
invincible. I want to feel that way all the time.”

Her eyes widened a bit, but she remained
otherwise calm. “It’s normal to feel…good when you overcome fear,
even for a moment, but beating people up isn’t a healthy way to
achieve that relief.”

“I don’t want to beat up
people
,” I
said. “Just the bad guys.”

“And who are the bad guys, Kelsey?” Doctor
Veronica didn’t pause long enough for me to answer before
continuing. “My concern is that you will purposefully place
yourself in dangerous situations just to feel that rush, that power
and sense of control. It is all an illusion, and you will be
placing yourself in greater danger by chasing those feelings.”

I thought about the possibilities for my
future and didn’t see many alternatives. “And what if I don’t have
a choice. It will be my job to fight, to destroy people. How do I
maintain a balance, a healthy mental outlook, when that’s my
job?”

She sighed and looked a bit lost, which
didn’t make sense. She helped warriors deal with these issues every
day. “You keep talking to me, you make time for yourself, and you
work every day at staying grounded.”

“And if you aren’t around?”

“Just talk, Kelsey. Talk to somebody.”

I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t move, but I
could see people all around me. They were having a party, dancing
and drinking. Every so often one of them would stop, look right at
me, and laugh before turning away. Everyone I’d ever known or cared
about was at that party, but not one of them stopped to help me. I
tried to call to them, to scream, but I couldn’t get enough air to
make a sound. My vision started to darken, and I knew I was dying.
I knew if I just closed my eyes, I’d fade away and the party would
go on without me.

Strong hands gripped my arms and pulled me up
to a sitting position. I gasped for air and opened my eyes to see
only darkness. I fought against the hands, but they gripped me
tighter and pulled me into a warm chest. “Kelsey, it’s okay. You
need to wake up.” The voice was male and so stern, but gentle, that
I did wake up. I saw my own room in the dim light from the moon
shining in the window. My face was wet and sticky with tears. I
tried to pull away from the arms around me, but they held on
tighter. “I’m awake,” I said. “It’s okay.”

I was released and looked up to see Jed where
I’d expected to see Henry. “I’m sorry,” I said, feeling like an
idiot. “I didn’t mean to wake anyone up. Where’s Henry?”

“He fell asleep on the couch.” He studied my
face for a moment. “Are you okay?”

“No,” I said, not yet awake enough to lie.
“But I will be. What time is it?”

“It’s four-thirty.” His voice was so soft and
so warm I wanted to throw my arms around him and snuggle into
him.

Instead, I stretched my arms over my head and
kicked the blankets aside. “I’m just going to get up, then,” I
said. “You can go back to bed.”

“What are you going to do? Do you want me to
get Henry?”

“Henry?” I was confused, until I remembered
that Henry was my boyfriend, and Jed probably thought I’d want to
be comforted by him. “No, let him sleep. I’m just going to go for a
run.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“No, you go back to bed. You’ve done
enough.”

“No,” he said, looking sadder than I’d ever
seen him. “I haven’t. Besides, I can’t let you go for a jog alone
when there are aggressive wolves out there.”

“Tessa? Did you find her?” I felt like an
asshole for not asking sooner.

He shook his head. “Wraith is the alpha, he
should know where they took her. The fact that he doesn’t…I doubt
he’ll be able to control the wolves that have her.”

“Oh, my god, Jed. I’m so sorry. What are we
going to do?”

“There’s nothing we can do right now. Wraith
is expecting them to call with demands of some sort, so we’re just
waiting, at least until morning when we can see to search again.
I’ve called in a witch, a friend of Tessa’s, to help us find
them.”

“I’m so sorry,” I said, not knowing what else
to say. “So you need your sleep. If you don’t think it’s safe, I’ll
just stay here and watch T.V. or something.”

“I can’t sleep anyway, Kelsey. I’ll go for a
run with you.” He stretched, and I realized he wasn’t wearing a
shirt, just pajama bottoms. I couldn’t stop staring at his toned,
ribbed abdominal muscles covered by smooth, golden skin. “Meet me
on the porch in five minutes.” And he was gone, taking his warmth
with him. I changed into workout pants, a long-sleeved t-shirt, a
sweatshirt, and running shoes, and tried to shake off the memory of
my nightmare.

I stepped out into the cool, wildflower
scented morning to find Jed already waiting for me. We walked down
the steps and started jogging together without a word. Our bodies
were so close I could feel his heat and all I could think about
were his arms around me, so hard, so warm. I couldn’t stop my mind
from wandering to thoughts of other things we could have done in
that bed, our bodies pressed tight together. I tried to conjure
more constructive thoughts, but that flash of perfect abs and his
current sweaty proximity to me made it so impossible that I just
gave in and enjoyed the fantasy. When we turned and started running
back, he slowed his pace to a walk, and I fell into step next to
him.

“Has Wraith said what he wants from you?”

“He’s told me a lot of things, but I’m not
sure what I believe.” I chose my words carefully, curious to see
what Jed knew about the deal between Yvonne and Wraith. “What do
you know about him?”

He shrugged. “Not much. Most of his
interactions with Varius were before my time. He was a powerful
reaper, and he’s never been afraid to use that power.”

“Do
you
have any ideas about what he
wants with me?”

He sighed, sounding genuinely frustrated.
“I’ve got a lot of ideas and none of them make any sense. I mean,
yes, you’re powerful, but if he steals you away from Varius, he’ll
be bringing a shit storm of trouble down on his head.”

I stopped and faced him. “He told me he made
a deal with Yvonne. She sent me here so he could see me and talk to
me, convince me to leave Varius and join him.”

His face twisted. “It doesn’t make any sense.
She would never agree to that.”

“In exchange, he’s offered to pay taxes to
Varius and to leave them and their people alone, as long as Varius
leaves him and his pack alone. He claims he was working for Yvonne
secretly, acting as a spy, and he’s got dirt on her she wants to
keep secret. He reaped Wraith without her consent, and she’s trying
to keep him in check.”

He sat down on a tree stump just off the
road. “It makes sense, but why would Wraith agree to that? Why
would he make that trade? It seems like he’s holding all the cards.
He’s making a lot of concessions just to get you, and I don’t
understand why.”

Jed looked so lost and so sad, I couldn’t
help wanting to lighten the mood. “Because I’m just that
irresistible.”

He looked at me like I’d punched him, there
was hurt and pain in his eyes, and I regretted my words, even
though I wasn’t sure why they’d been wrong.

“Because he thinks if I go with him, my
father will leave him alone, too. He says he wants a normal life.
He says he can offer me the same thing.”

“Is that what you want?”

I realized with an ache that shot right
through the core of me that what I wanted didn’t matter. If I left
with Wraith, Jed could be free of his obligations to Varius, and he
could possibly have the life he wanted. The problem I kept coming
back to was that none of it felt right, because the price that had
to be paid for Jed getting his freedom was me. Wraith might not be
all bad, but I knew he wouldn’t hesitate to kill anyone who
interfered with his plans and, if I joined him, I’d be agreeing to
help him with that, no matter if it meant I might have to hurt or
kill innocent people. “I’m not sure that what I want is the most
important consideration,” I said.