The Rip-Off (8 page)

So I don't know what Jeff said that afternoon to Manuela and Patrick Xavier Aloe. It is likely that he was quite offhand and casual, that he said nothing at all of intrinsic significance. But they came into my room, a tinge of strain to their expressions, and Manny's lips seemed a little stiff as she stooped to kiss me.

I shook hands with Pat and stated that I was fine, just fine. They stated that that was fine, just fine, and that I was looking fine, just fine.

There was an awkward moment of silence after that, while I smiled at them and was smiled back at. Manny shattered the tension by bursting into giggles. They made her very nice to look at, shaking and shivering her in all her shakable, shivery parts.

Pulse pounding, I tentatively joined in her laughter. But Pat saw no cause for amusement.

"What's with you?" He glared at her. "We got a sick man here. He gets a damned stupid joke pulled on him, and it puts him in the hospital. You think that's funny?"

"Now, Uncle Pat…" Manny gestured placatingly.

"Britt lands in the hospital, and we get cops nosing all around! Maybe you like that, huh? You think cops are funny?"

"There was only one, Pat. Just Sergeant Claggett, and he's a family friend, isn't he, Britt?"

"A very old friend," I said. "Jeff-Sergeant Claggett, that is-would be concerned, regardless of why I was in the hospital."

"Well-" Pat Aloe was somewhat reassured. "Anything else happen to you recently, Britt? I mean, any little jokes like this last one?"

I hesitated, feeling Manny's eyes on me. Wondering what Jeff would consider the best answer. Pat's gaze moved from me to Manny, and she smiled at him sunnily.

"Of course, nothing else has happened to him, Pat. This is his first time in the hospital, isn't it?"

"That's right," I said; and gave him the qualified truth. "There's been nothing like this before."

He relaxed at that, his map-of-Ireland face creasing in a grin. He said he was damned glad to hear it, because they'd been getting A- OK reactions to the pamphlets, and he'd hate to see them loused up.

"And we'd hate to lose the tax write-off," Manny said. "Don't forget that, Uncle Pat."

"Shut up," Pat said, and to me: "Then everything's copacetic, right, Britt? You're gonna go right on working for us?"

"I'd like to," I said. "I understand that I'll be under medical supervision for a while, have to take things kind of easy. But if that's all right with you…"

He boomed that, of course, it was all right. "And don't you worry about the hospital and doctor bills. We got kind of a private insurance plan that takes care of everything in the medical line."

"That's great," I said. "I'm obliged to you."

"Forget it. Whatever makes you happy makes us happy, right, Manny? Anything that's jake with Britt-Britt and his friend, Sergeant Claggett-"

"-is jake with us," Manny said emphatically. "Right, Uncle Pat! Right on!"

And Pat shot her a warning look. "One more thing. Britt, baby. I was way out of line saying anything about you and Manny getting married. What the hell? That's your business not mine."

"
Right!"
said Manny.

"You want a bat in the chops?" He half-raised his hand. "Keep askin', and you're gonna get it."

I broke in to say quite truthfully that I would have been glad to marry Manny, if I had been free to do. Pat said, Sure, sure, so who was kicking? "It's okay with me, and it's okay with her. She don't like it, she can shove it up her ass."

"Right back at you, you sawed-off son-of-a-bitch," said Manny, and she made an upward jabbing motion with one finger.

Pat leaped. He grabbed her by the shoulders; shook her so vigorously that he head seemed to oscillate, her hair flying Out from it in a golden blur. He released her with a shove that slammed her into the wall. And the noise of his angry breathing almost filled the room.

I felt a little sick. Savagery like this was something I had never seen before. As for Manny…

Something undefinable happened to her face. A flickering of expressions that wiped it free of expression, then caused it to crinkle joyously, to wreathe itself in a cherubic smile.

Pat looked away, gruffly abashed. "Let's go"-he jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "Get out of here, and let Britt get some rest."

"You go ahead," she said. "I want to kiss Britt goodnight."

"Who's stopping you? You kissed him in front of me before."

"Huh-uh. Not this way I didn't."

He gave me an embarrassed glance, then shrugged and said he could stand it if I could. He told me to take it easy, and left. And Manny crossed to the door, locked it and came back to the bed. She looked down, then bent down so close that her breasts brushed against me.

"Go ahead," she whispered. "Grab a handful."

"Now, dammit, Manny…!" I tried to sit up. "Listen to me, Manny!"

"Look"-edging her blouse down. "Look how nice they are."

"I said,
listen to me!
"

"Oh, all right," she said poutingly. "I'm listening."

"You've got to stop it," I said. "We'll forget what's already happened. Just say I had it coming, and call it quits. But there can't be any more, understand? And don't ask me any more what!"

"Any more what?"

"Please," I said. "I'm trying to help you. If you'll just stop now…"

"But I really don't know what you mean, darling. If you'll just tell me what you want me to stop, what else I shouldn't do…"

"All right," I said. "I've done my best."

She studied me a moment, the tip of her finger in her mouth. Then, she nodded, became pseudo-businesslike. Declared that she knew just what I needed, and it so happened that she had brought a supply with her.

As I have noted previously, she moved very, very quickly when she chose. So she was on the bed, on top of me, before I knew what was happening. Smothering me with softness, moving against me sensuously.

There was an abrupt metallic squeal from the bed. Then a grating and a scraping, and a
crash
. Instinctively, I jerked my head up, so it did not smash against the hard hospital floor. But my neck snapped, painfully, and Manny helped me to my feet, murmuring apologies.

Someone was pounding on the door, noisily working at the lock. It opened suddenly and the nurse came in, almost at a run. It was the nurse I had seen earlier, the bright-faced young woman. None-too-gently she brushed Manny aside, and seated me comfortably in a chair. She felt my pulse and forehead, gave me a few fussy little pats. Then, she turned on Manny, who was casually adjusting her clothes.

"Just what happened here, miss? Why was that door locked?"

Manny grinned at her impudently. "A broken-down bed and a locked door, and you ask me what
happened?
How long have you been a woman, dear?"

The nurse turned brick red. Her arm shot out, the finger at its end pointing sternly toward the door. "I want you out of here, miss! Right this minute!"

"Oh, all right," Manny said. "Unless I can do something else for Britt…"

"No," I said. "Please do as the nurse says, Manny."

She did so, lushly compact hips swinging provocatively. The nurse looked after her, a little downcast, I thought, as though doing some comparative weighing and finding herself sadly wanting.

An orderly removed the collapsed bed, and wheeled in another. I was put into it, and a doctor examined me and pronounced me indestructible.

"Just the same," he said, winking at me lewdly, "you lay off the double-sacking with types like that pocket Venus that was in here. I'd say she could spot you a tailwind, and still beat you into port."

"Oh, she could not," the nurse said, reddening gloriously the moment the words were out of her mouth. "How would you know, anyway?"

"We-ll…" He gave her a wisely laconic grin. "How would
you?
"

He slapped unsuccessfully at her bottom on the way out. She jerked away, greatly flustered, and darted a glance at me. And, of course, found nothing in my expression but earnest goodwill.

She was much prettier than I had thought at first glance. She had superb bone structure, and her hair, too austerely coiffed beneath her nurse's cap, was deep auburn.

"I don't believe I've seen you before today," I said. "Are you new on this floor?"

"Well…" She hesitated. "I guess I'm new on all of them. I mean, I'm a substitute nurse."

"I see," I said. "Well, I think you're a fine nurse, and I'm sure you'll have regular duty before long."

She twitched pleasurably, like a petted puppy. Then, her scrubbed-clean face fell, and she sighed heavily.

"I thought I was going to have steady work starting tomorrow," she said. "Steady for a while, anyway. But after what happened today-Well, I'll be held responsible. The bed wouldn't have been broken-down, if I hadn't allowed the door to be locked. You could have been seriously injured, and it's all my fault and-"

"Wait." I held up a hand. "Hold it a minute. It wasn't your fault, it was mine, and I won't allow the hospital to blame you for it. You just have your supervisor talk to me, and I'll straighten her out fast."

"Thank you, Mr. Rainstar, but the supervisor has already reported the matter to Sergeant Claggett. She had to, you know. Her orders were to report anything unusual that happened to you. So…"

I was the regular duty the nurse had hoped to have. The doctors felt that for a time at least, when I returned home, I should have a full-time nurse available, and she had seemed a likely candidate for the job. But Jeff Claggett would never approve of her now.

"I really blew it," she said, with unconscious humor. "I'll bet the sergeant is really disgusted with me."

I said loftily that she was to forget the sergeant. After all, I was the one who had to be satisfied, and she satisfied me in every respect, so she could consider herself hired.

"Oh, that's wonderful, just wonderful!" She wriggled delightedly. "You're sure Sergeant Claggett will approve?"

"If he doesn't, he'll have me to deal with," I said. "But I'm sure it'll be fine with him."

But I wasn't sure, of course. And, of course, it wasn't fine with him.

The bartender had quit his job, and departed town for parts unknown to the lounge owner. Or so, at least, the latter said. The hotel had the same owners it had always had-a large eastern realty company, which was the absentee landlord for literally hundreds of properties. The manageress owned no dog, denied any knowledge of one, also denying that she had done anything but rent me and "my wife" a room.

"So that's that," Claggett said. "If you like I can put out a John Doe warrant on the bartender, but I don't think it's worth the trouble. Assuming we could run him down, which I doubt, throwing a drink on you wouldn't add up to more than a misdemeanor."

"By itself," I nodded. "But when you add it onto the business with the dog, and-"

"How are you going to add it on? You're a married man, but you register into this hotel with another woman as Mr. and Mrs. Phoneyname. And you tied your hands right there. The manageress was lying, sure. But try to prove it, and you'll look like a jerk."

He seemed rather cross and out of sorts. I suggested as much, adding that I hoped I wasn't the cause of same.

He gave me a look, seemed on the point of saying something intemperate. Then he sighed wearily, and shook his head.

"I guess you just can't help it," he said tiredly. "You seem incapable of learning from experience. You know, or should know, that Miss Aloe is out to harm you. You don't know how far she intends to go, which makes her all the more dangerous to you. But you let her get rid of Pat, you let her lock the door, you let her come back to the bed and make certain adjustments to it-"

"Look," I protested. "She didn't do all those things separately with a time lapse between them. She's a very quick-moving little girl, and she did everything in a matter of seconds. Before I knew what was happening, she-" I broke off, "Uh, what do you mean, certain adjustments?" I said.

"The bed goes up and down, right? Depending on whether you want to sit up or sleep or whatever. And here, right here where I'm pointing"-he pointed. "Do you see it, that little lever?"

"I see it," I said.

"Well, that's the safety. It locks the bed into the position you put it in."

"I know," I said. "They explained that to me the first day I was here."

"That's good," Claggett said grimly. "That's real good. Well, if Miss Aloe was out to fracture your skull, she couldn't have had a more cooperative subject. You let her flip the safety, and use her weight to give you an extra-hard bang against the floor. You didn't let her tie a rocket to you, but I imagine you would if she'd asked you."

My mouth was suddenly very dry. I took a sip or two of water, then raised the glass and drained it.

"I thought it was just a silly accident," I said. "It never occurred to me that she'd try anything here in the hospital."

"Well, watch yourself from now on," Claggett said. "You're going to be thrown together a lot, I understand, in the course of doing these pamphlets. Or am I correct about that?"

"Well"-I shrugged. "That depends largely on Manny. She's calling the turns. The amount of time we spend together depends on her."

"Better count on more time with her than less, then," he said. "This little stunt she pulled today-well, I doubt that it was really a try for a knockout. Whenever she's ready for that, if she ever is ready, I think she'll stay in the background and have someone else do it."

I said, Yes, I supposed he was right. He made an impatient little gesture, as though I had said something annoying.

"But we can't be sure, Britt! We can't say what she might do since she probably doesn't know herself. Look at what's happened to you so far. She couldn't have planned those things. They've just been spur-of-the-moment- pulled out of her hat as she went along."

I made no comment this time. He went on to say that he'd done some heavy thinking about Manny's vanishing for a year after her husband's death. And there was only one logical answer as to where she had been, and why.

"A private sanitarium, Britt, a place where she could get psychiatric help. Her mind started bending with the trouble her husband gave her, and it finally broke when he died-or when she killed him. I'd say that your telling her you were married was more than she could take, and it's started her on another mental breakdown."

"Well," I laughed nervously. "That's not a very comforting thought."

"You'll be all right as long as you're careful. Just watch yourself-and her. Think now. Everything that's happened to you so far has been at least partly your own fault. In a sense, you've set yourself up."

I gave that a moment's thought, and then I said, All right, he was right. I would be very, very careful from now on. Since I had but one life to live, I would do everything in my power to go on living it.

"You have my solemn promise, Jeff.
I
shall do everything in
my
power to keep
myself
alive and unmaimed. Now, just what are you doing along that line?"

"I've done certain things inside your house," he said. "If there's ever any trouble just let out a yell, and you'll have help within a minute."

"How?" I said. "You mean you have the place bugged?"

"Don't try to find out," he said. "If you don't know, Miss Aloe won't, and if you did she would. You're really pretty transparent, Britt."

"Oh, now, I don't know about that," I said. "I-"

"Well, I
do
know. You're not only just about incapable of deceiving anyone for any length of time, but you're also very easy to deceive. So take my word for it that you'll be all right. Just yell and you'll have help."

"I don't like it," I said. "Suppose I couldn't yell? That I didn't have time, or I wasn't allowed to?"

Claggett laughed, shook his head chidingly. "Now, Britt, be reasonable. You'll have a full-time nurse right in the house with you, and she'll be checking on you periodically. It's inconceivable that you could need help and be unable to get it."

It wasn't inconceivable to me. I could think of any number of situations in which I would need help and be unable to cry out for it. And, for the record, one of those situations
did
come about. It
did
happen, the spine-chilling, hair-raising occurrence I had most feared. And just when I was feeling safest, and most secure. And I could see no way of hollering for help without hastening my already imminent demise.

All I could do was lie quiet, as I was ordered to, and listen to my hair turn grayer still. Wondering, foolishly, if I could ever get an acceptable tint job on it, assuming that I lived long enough to need one.

But this is getting ahead of the story. It is something that was yet to happen. Tonight, the night of which I am writing, Claggett pointed out that he was only a detective sergeant and that as such there was a limit to what he could do for my protection.

"And I'm sure the arrangements I've made are enough, Britt. With you staying on the alert, and with a good reliable nurse on hand, I'm confident that-" He broke off, giving me a sudden sharp look. "Yes?" he said. "Something on your mind?"

"Well, uh, yes," I said uncomfortably. "About the nurse, I'd like to have the one who's on duty tonight. That kind of pretty reddish- haired one. I-I, uh-I mean, she needs the job, and-"

"Not a chance," Claggett said flatly. "Not in a thousand years. I've got another nurse in mind, an older woman. Used to be a matron at the jail a few years back. I'll have her come in right now, and you can be getting acquainted tonight."

He got up and started toward the door. I said, Wait a minute, and he paused and turned around.

"Well?"

"Well, I'd kind of like to have the reddish-haired girl. She wants the job, and I'm sure she'd be just fine."

"Fine for what?" Claggett said. "No, don't tell me. You just take care of golden-haired Miss Aloe, and forget about your pretty little redhead."

I said I didn't have anything like that in mind at all. Whatever it was he thought I had in mind. My God, with Connie and Manny to contend with, I'd be crazy to start anything up with another girl.

"So?" said Claggett, then cut me off with a knifing gesture of his hand as I began another protest. "I don't care if you did promise her the job. You had no right to make such a promise, and she knows it as well as you do."

He turned, and stalked out of the room.

I expected him to be back almost immediately, bringing the ex-police matron with him. But he was gone for almost a half an hour, and he came back looking wearily resigned.

"You win," he said, dropping heavily into a chair. "You get your red-haired nurse."

"I do?" I said. "I mean, why?"

"Because she spread it all around that she had the job. She was so positive about it that even the nurse I had in mind was convinced and she got sore and quit."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I really didn't mean to upset your plans, Jeff."

"I know." He shrugged. "I just wish I could feel better about the redhead."

"I'm sure she'll work out fine," I said. "She got off to a bad start today by letting Manny lock the door and pull the bed trick. But-"

"What?" said Claggett. "Oh, well, that didn't bother me. That could have happened, regardless of who was on duty. The thing that bothers me about Miss Redhead Scrubbed-Clean is that I can't check her out."

I said, Oh-not knowing quite why I said it. Or why the hair on the back of my neck had gone through the motions of attempting to rise.

"… raised on a farm," Jeff Claggett was saying. "No neighbors for miles around. No friends. Her parents were ex-teachers, and they gave her her schooling. They did a first-class job of it, too, judging by her entrance exams at nursing school. She scored an academic rating of high school graduate plus two years of college. She was an honors graduate in nursing, and I can't turn up anything but good about her since she made RN. Still"-he shook his head troubledly. "I don't actually
know
anything about her for the first eighteen years of her life. There's nothing I can check on, not even a birth certificate, from the time she was born until she entered nurses' training."

A linen cart creaked noisily down the hallway. From somewhere came the crash of a dinner tray. (
Probably the redhead pounding on a patient
.)

"Look, Jeff," I said. "In view of what you've told me, and after much deliberation, I think I'd better have a different nurse."

"Not possible." Jeff shook his head firmly. "You promised her the job. I went along with your decision, when I found that my matron friend wasn't and wouldn't be available. Try to back down on the deal now, and we'd have the union on us."

"I'll tell you something," I said. "I find that I've undergone a very dramatic recovery. My condition has improved at least a thousand percent, and I'm not going to need a nurse at all."

Claggett complained that I hadn't been listening to him. I'd already engaged a nurse, the redhead, and the doctors said I
did
need one.

"I've probably got the wind up over nothing, anyway, Britt. After all, the fact that I can't check on her doesn't mean that she's hiding anything, now does it?"

"Yes," I said. "I think it's proof positive that she was up to no good during those lost years of her marriage, and that she is planning more of the same for me."

Claggett chuckled that I was kidding, that I was always kidding. I said, Not so, that I only kidded when I was nervous or in mortal fear for my life, as in the present instance.

"It's kind of a defense mechanism," I explained. "I reason that I can't be murdered or maimed while would-be evildoers are laughing."

Claggett said brusquely to knock off the nonsense. He was confident that the nurse would work out fine. If he'd had any serious doubts about her, he'd've acted upon them.

"I'll have to go now, Britt. Have a good night, and I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Wait!" I said. "What if I'm murdered in my sleep?"

"Then I won't talk to you," he said, irritably. And he left the room before I could say anything else. I got up and went to the bathroom. The constant dryness of my mouth had caused me to drink an overabundance of water.

I came out of the bathroom, and climbed back into bed.

The hall door opened silently, and the reddish-haired nurse came in.