The Rise of Emery James (11 page)

I watch her eyes go wide with surprise and I try not to be offended by her horrified expression. "Not like a date," I point out quickly. Geesh, talk about a blow to my ego. "I just meant that we could do something fun. Get you out of the house for a bit. Maybe get some fresh air," I say.

She studies me for a long moment, thinking about my offer. I see the whole thing playing out on her face. The reasons why she should say no in battle with the reasons she wants to say yes.

"I don't know, Cole," she says. I hear the hesitation in her voice, but I also hear the part of her that wants me to convince her that it's okay to start living again. To leave the seclusion of the house and the chains of her mourning and finally do something for her.

"Nothing fancy. We'll grab dinner somewhere and maybe see some old places around town. Doesn't have to be anything big. Just let me get you out of here for a bit. What do you say?"

She chews her bottom lip as she thinks. I can tell the moment she decides to go because she lets out a soft little sigh of determination. "If I want to come home at any point you will bring me back. No questions asked?"

"Of course," I agree.

She nods, "Fine. I'll go."

"Awesome. It'll be fun. Trust me, Em," I say with a big smile.

She looks a little doubtful but I'm determined to prove her wrong. I'm determined to change her mind about a lot of things.

Emery

I'M NOT SURE WHY
it feels like a date. It's not. At all. But the whole time I'm getting ready for my night out with Cole it feels like one. I tell myself that the only reason I'm taking extra time with my hair and make-up is because I haven't been out of the house in a long time and it feels good to actually get dressed and take some pride in my appearance.

That's all true.

But I also kind of want Cole to think I'm pretty.

I take a long look in the full length mirror and second guess the dress I have on. It looks like I think this is a date. But it's summer in Oklahoma and jeans just didn't seem like a good idea. Still, a dress looks like a date. I turn to grab the discarded clothes from my bed and change back into the jeans, weather be damned, when I hear the doorbell downstairs.

Shit. Too late now.
I smooth down the navy blue sundress and take a deep breath. It's not a date. It's simply leaving the house with a friend. I'm only nervous because it's the first time I've done anything since Gabe's death. It's the first time I've ventured out at all aside from going over to dad's and a few quick trips to the store. It's just weird because it's new. It will take an adjustment period to settle into my new normal. That's all this is.

My pep talk helps and I head downstairs to greet Cole. I see him on the other side of the screen door in his trademark casual stance, hands stuffed in his pockets, as he watches me descend the stairs.

The man is gorgeous.
It's not a date.
The reminder does no good because Cole is dressed like he's going on a date. He's wearing low slung jeans with a dark fade and a button down gray shirt. It's casual, but the shirt hugs every muscle in his well-defined chest and I'm pretty positive that those jeans are showcasing a premium ass. I'm half tempted to turn around, run upstairs and lock myself in my room. Because even if this isn't a date, my body is reacting like it is and it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong.

I open the door and he smiles. It's so genuine that it goes a long way to set my nerves at ease, yet somehow also ramping up my adrenaline. "Hey there, pretty girl."

"Hi," I manage. This feels like a bad idea. I'm not sure I'm ready for this yet.

"You look like I'm about to take you out for some sort of gang initiation. Or maybe for dental surgery," he teases as he leans against the doorjamb.

That makes me smile. "Sorry. I'm just feeling a little weird about it," I admit.

"About hanging out with me?" he asks.

"No. Mostly just going out at all. It feels like I'm doing something wrong."

"Emery, I know it's hard. And I promise if you want to come home at any time I'll bring you back. I'm not expecting you to go party until dawn. I just want to get you out of the house. Remind you that there is still life out here waiting on you." Funny, I feel like life has been waiting on me for a very long time.

"Okay. Let's go," I say. He smiles and motions for me to lead the way.

We're quiet as Cole drives down the quiet streets of my neighborhood. I think he's letting me settle in. I'm glad. It's silly to be nervous about something I used to take for granted. Something so normal. But I can't help it, my life doesn't feel normal anymore. It hardly feels like it's mine most of the time.

The radio plays softly, a country song about love and it makes my skin itch. I reach over and turn it off. I feel his eyes on me, but I don't look at him or offer up any explanation. Thankfully, he leaves it alone.

"So where are we going anyway?" I ask, shaking off the unease and resolving to enjoy this night out. Cole gives me a smile that warms me from the inside out and I feel my nerves instantly begin to calm. It reminds me of who I'm with and somehow the whole idea of this night feels easier.

"I thought we'd go to Eddie's," he says easily. His hand rests loosely on the wheel as he glances over at me. Eddie's is a diner that's been in town for ages. We used to go there after school or on Friday nights before football games. It carries a million memories. "Is that okay?" he asks. I nod. I haven't been there since the summer before I left for school. It seems like a lifetime ago.

"You look really nice by the way. I don't think I told you that when I picked you up," he says, glancing over with a smile. I smooth the material of my skirt to cover the way the compliment makes my cheeks heat.

"Thanks. It's the first time I've had on real clothes in ages," I admit. He scrunches his eyes confused and I shrug. "Something besides yoga pants or ratty jeans and t-shirts," I explain.

"Ah, well, you pull off yoga pants beautifully," he says easily. It's a compliment that makes my heart do a small flip, even though I know it isn't meant to.

We pull into the parking lot of the old diner a few minutes later. It's fairly busy, being a Friday night. I can see some of the local high school kids gathered around pickup trucks and it has me remembering days gone by. Watching them all laughing, carefree and easy, has me longing for those days. Before things got complicated, before I lost control of everything.

"Are you ready to go in?" Cole asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Yes.”

"I'll grab your door," he says as he opens his own and climbs out of the cab. I smile at the familiar gesture as he rounds the front of the truck and opens my door for me. He offers me his hand and helps me with the jump to the ground.

"Thank you," I smile. He responds with a wink and we head towards the door of the restaurant.

Once we are settled at a booth towards the back, I relax a little more. The familiarity of the diner is good. It's strange, but somehow it helps me feel like I belong, which isn't something I had expected. From my vantage point I can see the entire restaurant. It's full of high school kids and families and everyone seems to know each other. It reminds me of why everyone always loved coming here. It was a gathering place for everyone. That was one of the best things about growing up in Darling. No matter where you were, there was always a friend or a neighbor nearby. Someone to talk to, someone who knew you. When I was younger I thought it was annoying, to have everyone in your business all the time. Then, I went away and learned what loneliness felt like.

"It feels the same," I say.

"Yeah. Just different kids," he agrees.

The waitress comes to our table to take our drink orders. She's a cute teenager, bubbly and friendly. Her t-shirt has the name Brandy embroidered across the corner. I order a sweet tea and Cole asks for a soda. When she leaves us with our menus I glance over it and realize it's the same menu I long ago memorized.

"Exactly the same," he smiles when my gaze finds his.

"I like it," I admit.

"Good. I was hoping you would," he says.

Brandy comes back and takes our order. It's like living in a time warp when we order the same thing we ordered when we came here together as kids. Cheeseburgers for each of us, an order of fries and some of Eddie's famous fried pickles to share.

Cole leans back against the red vinyl of the booth and watches me with curious amusement. "This is fun. Being here with you," he admits.

"Almost like old times," I agree.

"Except without a curfew," he teases.

I roll my eyes, "Like either of us ever had a curfew." Our parents had both been very lax when it came to Cole and me. We were good kids and I guess, because of that, they trusted us.

"True. Made for some really great nights . . . And some nice mornings too." His eyes catch mine and I see the memory flash across his face before he clears his throat and looks away. I feel my cheeks heat at his suggestion and my own mind drifts back to the times we spent together.

Sitting across from him now I'm struck with the oddity of Cole the boy in my memory vs Cole the man. He's still the guy I loved back then, but he's more now. He's stronger, more confident. He's solid, not just in the muscle that covers his tall body, but also in his demeanor. It's like he owns all of the space around him. He dominates it. Not in a domineering way, it's more of a quiet command, like the charisma that drew me to him as a teenager has simply aged into something more. Something deeper, something stronger. His pull is greater, his presence larger and it overtakes me when I least expect it.

He looks back at me and smiles and I realize that I've been staring at him. Lost in recollections and observation. "So, you never told me, are you going to start teaching again now that you're here?" he asks taking a sip of his water. I tense up instantly and have to remind myself to relax.

"I didn't teach," I say. I watch as his head tilts and his brows furrow at my admission.

"Really? But I thought you were doing elementary education. You always wanted to do that. I just assumed that you'd been teaching since you left school."

I shrug, embarrassed. I hate to admit it. I never thought I'd be one of those girls who gave up her career for a husband. I'd always looked forward to teaching. I always thought I'd be good at it. Gabe said he'd rather I raise our kids than work for pennies to raise someone else's. At the time I'd convinced myself that it was his way of saying he wanted to start a family. Now I realize it was just an asshole thing to say. And one more way he ended up controlling my life.

“No. It didn't work out that way. I got my degree and my certificate, but Gabe wanted me to stay home. He traveled a lot for work and wanted me available to go with him. So I just put it on hold."

He looks surprised. "Well, that's a shame. But at least you got to travel, right?"

I give him a weak smile. "Some. At first," I say. His jaw clenches and I know he wants to ask more but he doesn't. And because he doesn't want me to be sad, he changes the subject to something easy. I appreciate it more than he knows. I don't want to think about Gabe tonight. I don't want to think about the life I left behind or worry about the one I'm trying to make for myself. I just want to enjoy being here in this diner with my old friend, eating greasy cheeseburgers and people watching.

Brandy brings us our food and we put the fries and the pickles in the center of the table and dig in. The familiarity is so comforting that I find myself smiling genuinely as Cole relays stories about our old classmates. He still hangs out with a few of the same guys and just like it is in a small town, he seems to know where everyone ended up.

He rattles on, telling me a story about his friend, Matt, who despite how charming he thinks he is, has absolutely zero game when it comes to the ladies. He assures me it’s hilarious to watch. From the way he’s laughing, I believe him. I’m so engrossed in his story that I barely even register the three women who have approached our table. It takes me a moment to realize who it is. I haven't seen any of them since I left for school.

"Emery!" The girl standing in front says with a giant smile. Her eyes are wide and I swear she might break into a cheer at any moment.

"Annie?" I ask, taking her in.

"God you look good," she gushes as she moves to slide into the booth beside me. Annie was one of my best friends growing up. We cheered together, got ready for school dances and talked boys. I glance up and see that the rest of my high school crew is standing at the foot of the table giving me the same big smiles. Jessica and Kelsey hang back a bit as if waiting on my reaction to take their cue. Annie doesn't care, she's pushing her way in no matter how I feel about it.

"Wow, hey guys," I manage taking them all in. It's amazing to see them. These girls were part of my family for so long, but seeing them now I feel a little bit like a fraud. It's the constant tug of war that I have felt since coming home. Balancing who I am now with who everyone expects me to be.

Cole and Dad are the only two people I don't feel like I have to put on a show for. I feel the nerves start to bubble up in my stomach as Annie rattles on about how excited she is that I'm back in town and she can't wait to hang out and catch up on everything. My gaze flicks to Cole and while he is smiling, I can tell he senses my unease.

"Annie - Take it down a notch and give her some breathing room," he says easily.

Annie laughs, her long blond hair falling over her shoulders as she leans against me. "Sorry. I just got excited. I've missed you, Em. I have. It's just so good to see your face again."

"Yeah, it's good to have you home," Jessica chimes in.

"Thanks," I smile.

Annie leans in and surprises me with a hug. She's always been that girl who hugs you goodbye, tells you she loves you and essentially has your back in any situation. I realize that I've missed her and I'm thankful that none of them appear to hold any grudge over my disappearing act or lack of communication. "Let's get together and have lunch or something soon. We can go into the city or just hang out at home, either way, it doesn't matter." She pulls out her phone and smiles, "Do you have a new number?"