The River Leith (17 page)

His few items were packed up once again, and Leith sat on the edge of his bed, his leg jiggling up and down. He stared at his shoes and tried to stay calm. Zach’s voice in the hall greeting the nurses brought his head up, and his heart seemed to swell while his palms broke out with sweat.

He suddenly worried that seeing Zach again would be awkward. That Zach would feel embarrassed at what they’d done together, and that whatever it was he felt wouldn’t be returned. But when Zach opened the door, his eyes gleaming with a charming wickedness and his mouth twisted up in a happy smile, Leith’s doubts dissolved. He ducked his head a little, embarrassed at just how happy it made him just to see Zach.

“Is everything ready to go?” Zach asked, clapping his hands together lightly before stepping between Leith’s legs and wrapping his arms around Leith’s neck.

Leith chuckled and grabbed Zach’s hips to drag him closer, leaning in for a kiss. A sweet joy rose in him as Zach’s lips met his, and he wrapped his legs around Zach’s to trap him. “Now I have you,” he teased, kissing Zach’s chin. “And you’ll never get free.”

“Oooh, is that a promise?” Zach laughed and pressed his forehead to Leith’s. Still smiling, he kissed Leith’s mouth.

Leith fell back on the bed, dragging Zach on top of him, grabbing his ass and grinding his own hips up. He groaned and rolled Zach over, pressing a leg between Zach’s and pushing his already hard cock down against Zach’s thigh. His mouth never left Zach’s lips or skin.

“Ahem.” Arthur’s voice cut through.

Leith’s heart thumped, and an instinctive fear that his brother would be angry with him for kissing a guy kicked in. He rolled off Zach, tugging at his shirt to cover his erection. He reminded himself that Arthur had been with men, but he still held his breath.

“The nurses would certainly enjoy the show, but I believe they’ve kicked you out of this place, little brother. So, come on lovers, get yourselves together. Surely it can wait a few minutes.”

Leith exhaled, embarrassment replacing the fear.

“Oh you’re one to talk,” Zach said as he sat and patted at where his hair stuck up in a few places. “With all of the complaints I get from staff who walk in on you and Miyoko, someone might think you staged public make-out sessions because you get off on being seen.”

“Ha,” Arthur replied, his face reflecting his sarcasm. “I’d hate for the prudes to have to nothing to clutch their pearls over. They live for the drama. The car is waiting. Do you have everything? Leith?”

Leith cleared his throat, his face hot. “Yeah, sure. Let me just…” He stood and turned his back to his brother, unzipping his bag and pretending to shift some stuff around, willing his dick to calm down.

Soon he was in the front seat of Arthur’s car, silent in the face of the traffic, the skyscrapers, and the thousands of people on the sidewalks. He peered in wonder at the vibrant blue skies, glimpses of green grass in the parks, and the flash of the Hudson between the buildings and under the bridge. Before prison he’d only been to New York City a few times, and it felt new.

“This is where you like to go for runs,” Zach said. “I’ll show you the path you like best if you want.”

“Sure.” Leith stared at the expanse of the park.

A little later Arthur said, “That’s the boxing club where you trained.”

Leith turned his head to look more intently at the boxing club as they drove by. It didn’t look like anything special, and he felt nothing at all about it. He looked at his hands, clenched them into fists, and tried to imagine being in the ring, fighting. He itched to hit a bag, or to feel the jolt of a punch landing on flesh, satisfying and solid. He nodded a little and closed his eyes. Yes, he thought that was something he wanted to do again.

When he opened his eyes next, the car was stopping in front of a building with a blue and green sign proclaiming that they’d reached Blue Flight.

“Our apartment is just above it,” Zach said.

Leith stared at the building, searching for some kind of reaction, a feeling or a thought, but there was nothing. He didn’t know why, but he was disappointed. He hadn’t realized he’d been holding out the hope that he would still remember
something
. Dr. Thakur’s voice came to him.

“Why does it matter?”

His only answer was Zach. Some part of him knew that he wanted to remember for Zach, and for whatever part of his subconscious that still understood what they’d been before.

“Leith?” Zach’s voice from the back seat was a little worried, and Leith shook himself and smiled.

“Sure, sorry. I
—
I don’t remember the place.” He started to open the door, but Zach put a hand on his arm.

“Wait
—
we’re not getting out here.”

“Why not?” Leith asked. He wanted to get inside to face the apartment, and the people, and just get it over with. He hoped they hadn’t planned a celebration, but something about Zach told him that he shouldn’t be surprised if they had.

“I have a surprise for you,” Zach said.

“A surprise?” Leith was confused. Didn’t a surprise party lose its effect if the person was told beforehand to expect one?

“Yes,” Arthur said, turning the car off and handing the keys over his shoulder to Zach. “Zach and his plans
—
”

“Uh-uh,” Zach said, grabbing the keys. “None of that.”

Arthur smirked a little and then said, “Have fun, little brother. I’ll see you in a few days.”

“A few days?” Leith asked, helplessly. As Zach crawled into the front seat and Arthur slammed the door shut, waving to them as he crossed in front of the car, Leith rubbed his face. “Where are we going?”

“Away. Someplace where the eager but annoying masses of friends and family will leave you alone for a while, and I can have you all to myself. A quiet place in the woods. A cabin.”

Leith didn’t know what to say. Part of him was glad, excited even, to get back to nature. The woods had always been healing to him, but another part of him was frustrated. He’d been ready to dive in
—
tear off the Band-Aid and get the hardest part over with. His mixed feelings must have shown, because Zach put one hand on Leith’s knee and turned Leith’s face to him with the other.

“I think this will be best for you, Leith. You’ve been through so much. You need some time to cope. We both do. But if you don’t want to go, of course we don’t have to.”

Leith looked in Zach’s eyes, so sincere and persuasive, and he said, “Sure. It sounds great. I haven’t been to the woods since before prison.”

Zach’s eyes darkened, and he turned away from Leith, fumbling with the keys as he started the car. “Well, it’s about time then.”

Leith nearly strangled on the sigh he held in, not wanting Zach to know that he’d seen his pain, Not wanting to admit to himself that he
had
been to the woods more recently than two years ago, and that memory was of course lost with all the others.

For just a moment or two he wanted to pretend that this was all there was. That they were going to the woods together for the first time, and it was new
—
something sweet and precious
—
for them both.

EARLIER THAT MORNING

VLOG ENTRY #7

INT. APARTMENT – COUCH

Zach perches on the edge of the cushions, grinning.

ZACH

Hello, my darlings! Thank you for the flood of comments and emails. I appreciate your support more than I could ever tell you.

I just wanted to let you know that Leith is indeed being released today. Operation Surprise Getaway is in full effect. I need to finish packing since we’re headed to the wilderness. Well, it’s a cabin with electricity and running water, so don’t let me make it sound like we’re truly roughing it.

But there’s no wifi. Not even a phone line, and the nearest cell tower is not near enough. So I’ll be going incommunicado for a few days, and I didn’t want to worry you. Leith and I really going to be alone for the first time since this whole mess started, and…

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

I’m nervous as hell. Everything went so well yesterday. Kissing him again…touching him again…it’s incredible. But now he’s leaving the hospital, and we’re going to be back in the real world. And maybe part of my reason for taking him away is that I’m afraid of what will happen once reality sinks in.

Will he still want me once he’s out in the real world? Right now he barely knows anyone. What if he meets someone else? What if he likes him
—
or
her
—
more than me? He said he was straight when he came out of the coma. Am I just an exception? Nothing more than muscle memory?

He takes a deep breath and blows it out.

No. I don’t think I am. Before the accident, Leith had come to terms with his sexuality. He’s not straight. And I have to believe that what he feels for me now is real, and not just some…echo.

He’s silent for a few moments, his gaze distant. Then he shakes his head and claps his hands.

Sorry, I left the building there for a second. Okay, I’d better get moving. Leith’s waiting. Catch you on the flipside, darlings.

He salutes the camera.

Forty minutes outside the city, the countryside sped by in a blur of green, blue, and yellow, with a hint of brown and gray now and again. They’d driven in silence for a long time, until Leith turned on the radio. He tried to stop on a station playing showtunes, but Zach pushed his hand away from the dial.

“Oh no you don’t. Never again. I already suffered through one trip like that.”

Leith said nothing, but he wondered if Zach was also allowing himself a moment to pretend that things were different
—
to believe even for a second that Leith remembered. Leith let Zach pick a top forty station.

The cabin was small and situated on a small glimmering lake. The view of the mountains was stunning. Leith stood by the car, leaning against it as he took long, deep breaths. He stared at the green trees around him, so lush in their late summer glory, and the source of the sweet, new air that he took into his lungs.

“Well?” Zach asked, pulling their bags from the car.

Smiling, Leith spread his arms wide. “It’s amazing. I feel like I could fly right up into the sky.”

Zach dropped the bags and grabbed him around the waist. “Sorry, but I can’t allow that. You have to stay earthbound. With me.”

Leith wrapped his arms around Zach and tucked his face against Zach’s neck, breathing in his scent. He rested his chin on Zach’s shoulder and whispered, “How is this happening? How is it possible? How can I feel these things for you? You’re a stranger to me, yet I’m so…happy.”

Zach sighed and turned his face to Leith’s neck. His eyelashes fluttered against Leith’s skin, giving him goose bumps. Leith rested against the side of the car, his eyes on the mountains against the sky, and his arms around Zach’s shoulders, feeling the hard, strong line of where their bodies touched.

While Zach unpacked their groceries, Leith stood in the doorway of the cabin, Leith watching the shimmer of light on the lake. There was something about Zach’s busyness that made Leith feel safe, as though simply by moving in the world Zach took charge of it, and made everything somehow easier.

Zach glanced up at Leith, and his eyes narrowed a bit. He scolded, “You could help out a little. From what I understand you lost a few years and some fine motor skills, but you can probably still figure out how to unload the groceries.”

Leith shrugged, trying not to smile. “I like the view.”

Zach waggled his brows suggestively and bent over to put some things in the bottom of the refrigerator. “This view? Or the one out the door?”

Leith swallowed as he got hot and flustered. He grinned and ducked his head, getting a better look at Zach’s ass. It was the first sexual overture Zach had made since they’d kissed on the bed that morning, and Leith found himself feeling suddenly shy, like an inexperienced teenager who didn’t even know where to start. But who was he kidding? He
wasn’t
that experienced
—
not anymore.

When Zach stood and turned to face Leith he leaned against the kitchen counter and said with quiet speculation, “You always did like to make me come to you.”

Leith didn’t know what to say, but Zach’s words felt like a challenge. He took a step forward, leaving the door open behind him. Zach’s smile and tender expression were like a reward for his effort, and he stayed on course. Leith pressed him back against the counter. “Is this close enough?”

Zach laughed, his gaze flicking down to Leith’s mouth. “What do you think?”

The kiss was hot. He lifted Zach onto the counter, dragging his hips forward until he could grind against Zach’s crotch. Leith’s physical reaction was immediate, and he found himself riding the accompanying waves of affection and lust with very little grace at all. His mouth dragged down the side of Zach’s neck, seeking the soft spot he’d found so intriguing. When Zach gasped and shuddered in his arms, he grinned, tightening his hold.

“Leith,” Zach said, pushing at him. “There’s a bed.”

“It’s far away.”

Zach laughed. “It’s less than ten yards.”

Leith considered. The counter was hard, and the bed would be soft. Zach wasn’t going anywhere
—
he could have him in his arms again in only moments, and it would be better on the bed. They could take longer, and
—
yeah. The bed. It was a good idea. Zach was full of good ideas. He thought he must have loved Zach for having so many amazingly good ideas.

The path to the bed was slow, because he had to take off Zach’s clothes, and his own shirt was left on the kitchen floor, and his jeans by the bedroom door, and then he’d had to stop and examine Zach’s body in the light from the window, exploring the curve of muscle and dent of bone with his mouth, leaving wet spots that shined in the sun. Zach clung to him, his expression a mix of amazed tenderness and underlying surprise, like he nearly didn’t believe what was happening.