The Road Home (19 page)
CHAPTER 20
“W
hat was my dad likein high school?”
hat was my dad likein high school?”
Will looked up from between Burke's legs, where he was teasing the head of Burke's cock by running his tongue slowly around the edge. They were in Will's bed, in his room above his parents' garage. Burke, already nervous about being there, felt his excitement wane even more.
Will tugged on his dick. “Well?” He shifted position on the bed, nuzzling Burke's balls with his nose. He was lying on his side, his back and ass pressed against the length of Burke's cast. His own cock jutted out, resting against his thigh.
Burke stared at it, trying not to picture Mars's dick.
It looks just like his,
he thought. “I don't know,” Burke said. “He was like most guys that age. Thought he knew everything.”
It looks just like his,
he thought. “I don't know,” Burke said. “He was like most guys that age. Thought he knew everything.”
Will snorted. “He still does,” he said, running a hand up Burke's stomach. “Did the two of you ever get it on?”
Burke flinched. “No!” he said. “Why would you think that?”
Will grinned. “You wanted to, though, didn't you?”
“I never really thought about it.”
“Like hell you didn't,” said Will. “I've seen his yearbook pictures. He was hot.”
“Can we not talk about your father while we're . . . you know?”
Will pushed his nose beneath Burke's balls and flicked his tongue against Burke's asshole. Burke closed his eyes and groaned. For a guy who was new to man-on-man sex, Will had taken to it with a vengeance. When he placed a hand beneath the knee of Burke's good leg, Burke let him push the leg back. Will probed deeper into Burke's exposed ass.
“I want to fuck you,” he said when he came up for air.
“Uh-uh,” Burke said. “I don't get fucked.”
Will laughed. “What do you mean, you don't get fucked?” he said.
“I'm a top,” Burke told him. “I do the fucking.”
Will looked at him with a puzzled expression. “That's fucked up,” he said. “What difference does it make who does what?”
Burke shrugged. “It just does,” he said.
“Have you ever
been
fucked?” asked Will.
been
fucked?” asked Will.
“A couple of times, I guess,” Burke answered.
“Then what's one more time?” said Will. He tickled Burke's asshole with his finger, pressing against it.
Burke tensed up. “Not with my leg and everything,” he said nervously.
Will lay beside him. “You took my cherry,” he said. “I think it's only fair you be
my
first, too.” He pressed his hard cock against Burke's leg. “I'll be gentle,” he said.
my
first, too.” He pressed his hard cock against Burke's leg. “I'll be gentle,” he said.
Again, an image of Mars, his dick sticking out of his pants, came to Burke's mind.
Pretend it's Mars,
he told himself. A moment later he rolled onto his side. Will pressed against his back. Burke heard him spit into his hand. Then the head of his cock was thrust between the cheeks of Burke's ass.
Pretend it's Mars,
he told himself. A moment later he rolled onto his side. Will pressed against his back. Burke heard him spit into his hand. Then the head of his cock was thrust between the cheeks of Burke's ass.
He's not wearing a condom,
Burke thought vaguely, but he said nothing.
Burke thought vaguely, but he said nothing.
Will fumbled with his dick as he located Burke's asshole. When the head was in position, he pushed forward, sliding inside. Burke gritted his teeth at the pain.
“Holy shit,” Will whispered, his breath hot against Burke's ear. “It's so tight.”
Burke closed his eyes. His thoughts went back to that night at the lake, and to what he would have liked to have happened. He and Mars were in the backseat, making out. Their clothes were on the floor, and Mars was on top of him. “I want to fuck your ass,” he said, his breath smelling of beer.
Burke felt Will moving in and out of him. Will had one arm around Burke's stomach, his fingers wrapped around the base of Burke's cock. As he pumped himself in and out of Burke, his hand matched the strokes.
“Oh, fuck,” he gasped. “Oh, fuck, I love your ass.” But it was Mars's voice Burke heard.
Will came with a groan. He pulled Burke to his belly and held him tight as he unloaded in Burke's ass. When he was done, he pulled out slowly and rolled onto his back. A moment later he laughed. “That was fucking
hot,
” he said. He looked over at Burke. “You didn't come.”
hot,
” he said. He looked over at Burke. “You didn't come.”
Burke was stroking himself, still thinking about Mars. When Will reached over and took over, Burke put his arm behind his head and thought about the taste of Mars's cock in his mouth. He came not long after, covering his chest with cum. Will milked the last drops from him, then bent down and licked some of the cum from his belly.
“Now, don't tell me you didn't like that,” he teased Burke.
Burke didn't reply. He was looking for tissues with which to wipe himself clean.
Will tossed him his T-shirt. “Use that,” he said. “I'll keep it as a souvenir of my first time.”
Burke wiped the cum from his chest and dropped the shirt on the floor.
Will lay on his back beside him, his leg tossed casually over Burke's. “I could do that fifty times a day,” he said.
Burke remembered a time when he felt the same way himself. When you were his age, he reminded himself. When had the thrill gone away? He recalled those early nights in the bars, looking for someone to go home with. Every man had been a potential lover; every encounter, another opportunity to experience the dizzying thrill of touching another man's body, tasting his cock, fucking his ass. Just a glance on the street could send him reeling as he imagined the possibilities. Often he'd run home and beat off, thinking about what might have been.
Now here he was, in bed with a man half his age. A very attractive man who enjoyed making love with him. And it wasn't nearly as fulfilling as he thought it should be.
He's just excited because I'm his first,
he thought.
It's not as if there are a lot of options for him. In the real world he'd never look at me twice.
He's just excited because I'm his first,
he thought.
It's not as if there are a lot of options for him. In the real world he'd never look at me twice.
“Why do you think guys suck cock better than girls do?” Will asked.
“I guess because we know what we like to have done,” said Burke.
“If I were a girl, I'd be sucking every cock I could get my mouth on,” said Will. “Fuck, I'd take on the whole football team at one time.”
Burke ran his hand through Will's hair. “Careful,” he said. “You don't want to get a reputation as a bad girl. No one will marry you, then.”
He imagined Will with a lover. It would probably be someone as young and handsome as he was. Gay twins, Gregg called them, men who so similarly resembled one another that they might as well be making love to their own reflections. They usually managed five or even ten years together before they looked at one another and, frightened by the signs of aging they saw mirrored in one another's faces, they split up.
Sometimes seeing the changes in one another had the opposite effect and actually comforted them. Seeing that they weren't alone in growing older, they stopped caring, or at least caring so much. But often this seemed to be accompanied by a kind of neutering, a gradual disappearance of anything remotely resembling sexuality, until finally the men in question were more like kindly old aunties than men who liked to fuck other men.
Burke sometimes feared he was heading for something in between. He'd never been particularly interested in men like himself, and he had no partner with whom to grow older. Like many men his age, he occupied a kind of limbo, not young enough to be the new face in the bars that everyone wanted and not old enough to beâand didn't want to beâthe funny old queen whose jokes everyone laughed at. Instead, he was just middle aged and alone.
“Hey, maybe I'll come visit you in Boston,” said Will, interrupting Burke's dreary thoughts. “That would be fun.”
Big fun,
Burke thought.
Especially when you go home with some hot young guy and I spend all night wondering what you're doing with him.
Burke thought.
Especially when you go home with some hot young guy and I spend all night wondering what you're doing with him.
“Sure,” he told Will.
Will glanced at the clock on his dresser. “Shit, I've got to be somewhere in an hour. We've got to go.”
Burke dressed as quickly as his casts would allow. After checking to make sure Will's parents weren't aroundâBurke felt like a teenage boy slipping out of his girlfriend's bedroom window in the middle of the nightâthey got into Will's truck. Ten minutes later Burke was standing on his father's porch, watching Will drive off.
“There you are,” Lucy said as he walked into the kitchen. “Did you have a good afternoon?”
“It was pretty good,” said Burke. “I took some pictures. Nothing amazing.”
“Well, your friend Gregg called,” Lucy told him. “Maybe that will cheer you up. He said he'll be home all evening if you want to call back.”
“I will,” said Burke. The thought of talking to Gregg really did make him feel better. Finally, he could talk to someone from his real life. Then he remembered that his cell phone didn't get reception there and that he would have to use the phone in the kitchen.
“I've got to run out to the store,” Lucy said, as if on cue. “I'll be gone about forty-five minutes or so. Is there anything I can pick up for you?”
“Thanks,” Burke said. “No, I don't need anything.”
“Your father is off doing God knows what,” said Lucy. “You sure you'll be okay on your own?” She winked at Burke as she picked up the car keys.
“I think I can manage,” he said, thankful for her kindness.
When she was gone, he dialed Gregg's number and waited for him to pick up. On the fourth ring he almost hung up, as he expected Gregg's machine to pick up and he didn't feel like leaving a message. At the last second, though, Gregg's voice came through the phone. “I break the door down to get to the phone and it's
you?
” he said.
you?
” he said.
Burke heard mumbling in the background.
“Rick says to tell you hello,” said Gregg.
“Right. Tell him to fuck off himself.”
“Burke says hi back!” Gregg yelled. “I see that country charm has worn off on you,” he said to Burke.
“I'm thinking of opening a B and B,” said Burke. “What's going on in the real world?”
Gregg sighed. “Let's see,” he began. “Tony met some guy in P-town and was in love for two weeks, but then he decided he couldn't overlook the back hair anymore and called it off. Dylan found e-mails on Lee's computer that had pictures of some guy's cock attached to them and threw a fit, although I'm not sure why, since he's been blowing that delivery guy at his office for six months. Anyway, they're taking a break. Abe is still single and complaining that there are no tops left in Boston, John is still single and complaining that there are no bottoms left in Boston, and a certain former male model we know and love had an eye lift and now looks like he could star in
The Mikado.
Oh, and Peter painted his apartment a hideous shade of brown that makes it look like he's living inside a colon. And everyone misses you and wants you home.”
The Mikado.
Oh, and Peter painted his apartment a hideous shade of brown that makes it look like he's living inside a colon. And everyone misses you and wants you home.”
“Naturally,” Burke said.
He was surprised to find that while listening to Gregg, he didn't feel homesick. Nor did he find the gossip particularly interesting, or even interesting at all. All the supposed news was nothing more than the usual antics of his circle of friends. They were always hooking up and breaking up, falling in love and out of love, changing their lovers and the colors of their apartments. Normally, he didn't notice, as it was part of his everyday life. But having been away from it for a while, he now saw it from a distance, and he was finding the view less than breathtaking.
“Hasn't anyone
done
anything?” he asked Gregg.
done
anything?” he asked Gregg.
“Well, if you mean, has anyone written a novel, or built a bridge, or landed a job as Michelle Obama's personal stylist, then no. What were you expecting?”
Burke sighed. “I don't know,” he said. “I guess I was just hoping life there was more interesting than it is here.”
“You mean it's not?” asked Gregg.
“Apparently,” Burke replied.
“Well, what have
you
been doing?” Gregg said.
you
been doing?” Gregg said.
“Taking some pictures,” said Burke. “Not much else. I still have the casts on, so I can't do a whole lot.”
Originally, he'd thought about telling Gregg about Will. He knew Gregg would love that story. But now he didn't want to share it. Nor did he want to tell Gregg about Sam and the mystery of Amos Hague. He wasn't sure why, but he wanted to keep that to himself. Thinking about Gregg telling all their friends about how Burke was occupying his time out in the boonies made him irritable. He pictured them laughing over their eggs Benedict at brunch, saying how sorry they felt for poor Burke, all alone in Vermont.
“Have you at least met some hunky maple-syrup farmer, or whatever they have there?” Gregg's question brought him back to the conversation.
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