The Road To Forgiveness (7 page)

My momma is exceptionally quiet. I haven’t
heard her say anything since they walked in.

“Momma, you okay?”

She looks over and smiles at me weakly, “Yes,
darling, I’m fine. I guess I’m still a little shocked. You’ve been
home for about a month and you never mentioned to me that your were
expecting. I guess… I just wish we were closer, that all.”

I reach my hand over the table to grab my
mother’s. “I didn’t tell anyone, Momma. I definitely wasn’t
expecting you guys to find out today, like this.”

“You kept it a secret? You didn’t even tell
Sebastian?”

I give her a comforting smile, “Not even
Sebastian.”

“Well, I knew,” Jonathon mumbles as he stuffs
another bite of his slider in his mouth. He looks up to see us all
staring at him. “Sorry, I guess I’m not helping.”

What on earth would make him think this was
the time to tell them that I confided in him and not them? I love
him to death but he needs to think before he opens his mouth.

“I did tell Jonathon, but that’s only because
I live with him and I needed someone to talk to. An outside party.
Everyone else was too close to the situation.”

“I understand, Darling. I mean, I don’t, but
I do.”

My mother drops the subject and we continue
to eat our meal. We discuss trivial things and no one brings up the
baby again. I’m extremely grateful.

I can tell my mother doesn’t want to leave me
yet, so I’m pleased when Sebastian suggests we all sit on the bed
and watch a movie. The selection of movies the hotel has to offer
are crappy but luckily
Cool Hand Luke
just started on AMC.
This is one of my mother’s favorite movies and mine. Sebastian says
he likes it too and Jonathon has never seen it, so we all sit down
to watch Paul Newman in his glory days.

We’re just at the part where they do the
fifty egg bet when my cell phone starts to ring. I grab it off the
nightstand and I see Charlie’s number displayed.

I answer the phone with a huge smile on my
face. He’s finally calling me back.

“Charlie!”

“Where are you?” he says angrily into the
receiver.

Okay that was not the reaction I was
expecting.

“I’m still in Georgia, Charlie. How are you?
Did you get my messages?”

“How am I… How am I?” He replies with even
more anger in his voice.

“I’ll tell you how I am. I’ve been worried
sick. I get a call from the hospital saying you passed out, haven’t
woken up and are being admitted. I immediately drive to the
airport, hop on the next flight out here, and drive straight in to
town when I land and you know what? You’re nowhere to be found.

“You’re not at the hospital, you’re not at
your mom’s house and you’re not at your house. I call your phone
and it keeps going straight to voicemail. Now I’m sitting outside
Jonathon’s place and your not here either. So I’m worried sick,
that’s how I am.”

Wow. Fun loving Charlie is the angriest I
have ever heard him. He didn’t even react this way when Miles took
my keys and dug them into the side of Charlie’s car.

“Why would the hospital call you?” I ask him
because I can’t think straight.

“Is that all you got to say? You know this
town, Mia. Everybody knows everybody. Miss Sander’s niece works
over at County and she called Miss Sanders to let her know the
gossip as soon as you were admitted. So naturally, Miss Sanders
called me. Your like the daughter I never had and I couldn’t handle
if anything else happened to you. Now, where are you?”

His concern for me warms my heart. Charlie
has always been so kind and loving to me. I wish he had been in my
mother’s life earlier. I could have benefited from having a strong
male figure in my life.

“I’m at the Embassy Suites off the highway.
Room 612.”

“Why in God’s name are you there? If the
hospital released you then why aren’t you at home?”

That’s a good question. A question I’m not
prepared to answer right now. Charlie is great and all, but he’ll
have Sebastian by the balls when he finds out I’m knocked up.

“Will you come by?” I say as I completely
avoid his previous question.

“Already on my way, Sweetie. I'll call you
when I get there and then we’re going to talk about why I had to
hear from Miss Sander’s that you were in the hospital instead of
from you or your mom.” He didn’t wait for my response as the call
ended.

I look up to see everyone looking at me.

“That was Charlie. He’s in town and on his
way over to check on me.”

My mother jumps up from the bed and starts
adjusting her clothing. “Now, he is on his way over now?”

“Yes. He just left Jonathon’s so he should be
here shortly.”

My momma starts to play with her hair and
rushes to the bathroom and closes the door. I would be worried this
was a call for help if I didn’t see the excitement in her eyes at
hearing Charlie’s name. Maybe getting them together again was going
to be easier than I thought.

*****

My mother is now sitting back with us on the
bed when there is a knock on the door. I go to answer it, knowing
that it’s going to be Charlie on the other end.

When I open the door I am swept into the
tightest bear hug and lifted off the ground a good foot.

“I missed you, Mia.”

“I missed you, too,” I say as he gently
places me back on solid ground.

He looks different. A little thinner. He’s
grown out his beard a few inches and his hair is almost completely
silver. I guess a lot can change in a few months. His skin is the
palest I’ve ever seen it. His skin color is usually golden from the
sun year round.

“Your white, Charlie. Where is that tan I
love so much.”

He smiles at me, “Chicago is a funny place.
The weather is so inconsistent but the temperature has been cold
since late September. After talking to some folks, I guess this
isn’t normal. Some times it’s high seventies going into October.
This year it was forty degree’s on October first. Its hard to get a
tan when you’re bundle up.”

“You still look good. I really like the
beard.” I lift my hand to tug it a little as he flinches back from
my grip.

“Thanks, but enough about me. How are you and
why were you in the hospital?”

This was one of the things I used to love
about Charlie. He was a straight shooter. Now, I don’t like it so
much.

“I’m fine. I just need to get some rest and
eat more. I’ll explain it all to you a little later, I promise.
Lets go sit down and you can finish the movie with us. We’re
watching
Cool Hand Luke.”

Charlie takes off his jacket and hangs it in
the closet near the entrance of the hotel room.

“No shit? I love that movie.”

I laugh, “I know. We’ve only watched it
together, like, a hundred times.”

We make our way to the bedroom and Charlie
exchanges pleasantries with Jonathon and my mother. My mother is
fidgeting and has asked him, probably five times, if she could get
him anything. I feel for her. I know she didn’t want the break up
with Charlie but I can’t fault him for running. I did it, too.

“Hi, Sir, I’m Sebastian. It’s nice to meet
you,” Sebastian says confidentially as he goes to shake Charlie’s
hand.

“Nice to meet you, too. Where do you fit in
here?”

Like I said, he’s a straight shooter.

Sebastian straightens his posture, “I’m Mia’s
boyfriends and soon to be father of the baby she has growing inside
her.”

“SEBASTIAN,” I yell. I could kill him.

“Baby? Baby!” Charlie turns toward me,
“You’re pregnant?”

The room becomes quiet as everyone is looking
at me to say something. I shoot Sebastian the dirtiest look I can
manage but all he does is give me a sexy smirk back.

“Yes, I’m pregnant and before you ask, I am
not dating the arrogant man next to me. I’ll explain everything
tomorrow, Charlie. I promise.”

Sebastian chimes in with his two cents before
anyone else can speak.

“For the record, I am her boyfriend. She ran
back to Georgia because she’s scared but unless I missed something,
we’re still together. We never had the uncomfortable break up talk.
She didn’t even go the chicken-shit route and give me a call or
text. I’d remember that, so as far as I see it, we’re still
together and we’re having a baby.”

Sebastian puts his arm around my waist. I try
to move away but he squeezes me tighter. I shoot him a deadly
glare.

“I like him already,” Charlie says while
laughing at my expression.

“You want the uncomfortable talk? You got it.
We’ll have it as soon as everyone leaves,” I say while giving
Sebastian a false, sweet smile.

Sebastian just smiles and kisses me on the
forehead. “Sure we will, Honey.”

Damn. He is so frustrating.

“Well, I’m beat from working and then
traveling all day so I’m going to go down stairs and see if they
got a room I can rent for the night,” Charlie says as he stretches
his arms out with a yawn.

My mother becomes more alert at his words.
She moves a step towards him but is still a few feet away.

“Why don’t you come stay at the house? I got
two extra rooms no one uses and we can have some coffee and catch
up in the morning. Then you won’t have to spend your money and
you’ll be staying somewhere your comfortable at.”

The desperation to have Charlie in her house
is so clear in my mother’s eyes. The sadness in Charlie’s is also
clear. He doesn’t want to stay at the place he used to call home
with my mother, but I know him. He’ll go just because he can’t tell
her no.

“Sure, let’s go.”

We say our goodbyes and Charlie promises to
call me in the morning. After my mother and Charlie leave, its just
Sebastian, Jonathon, and me. The movie we were watching is over and
Jonathon has an episode of
The
Millionaire Matchmaker
playing.

Jonathon starts to speak without moving his
eyes from the television. “Sebastian, did you ever go through a
dating company like this show broadcasts?”

Sebastian looks at him blankly, “No. I was
married so it would look bad if I was also a member of a dating
company.”

Right. Who needs
The Millionaire
Matchmaker
when you can have a temp agency bring you your
women?

“Something funny?” Sebastian asks me. I
didn’t realize I was laughing.

“No, nothing at all. I was just thinking that
I’m sure the rich and powerful have their ways at getting their
fill of beautiful women. I mean you don’t have to necessarily go
through a dating site.”

Sebastian narrows his eyes at me while
keeping his lips shut to suppress a smile. He knows what I’m
insinuating.

“It’s like a whole different world,” Jonathon
says as he drifts off in his thoughts. “I think if I was a
millionaire I wouldn’t need a matchmaker. I’d just go to the
nearest club, announce I was filthy rich, and see who offered me a
blowjob first.”

Sometimes Jonathon was the perfect
distraction… but like all distractions, eventually they leave and
you have to stand up and deal with the real issues.

“I’m going to go home and figure out how to
make my first million. How did you do it Sebastian? Never mind. I’m
sure it was the hard working, honest way and I don’t have time for
that. Maybe I’ll rob a bank. Actually, I don’t know… that could be
a lot of work. I’ll go home and figure this out and then call you
in the morning, Mia.”

I go over and give him a hug. “Thanks for
being here today. You are the best friend a girl could ask
for.”

He releases me while keeping his hands on my
shoulders.

“We’re besties now? Does this mean we can do
each other’s hair and talk about how big your billionaire baby
daddy’s di-“

I cut him off before he can finish the
sentence, “Goodbye, Jonathon. Maybe tomorrow we can talk about
where my reserved, loved being in a committed relationship, friend
went.”

His eyes get a little emptier as he responds
in almost a whisper, “That one’s easy, he’s with Cameron in
Seattle.”

My heart breaks for my friend. I give him
another hug before we say goodbye again and he walks out of the
hotel room. Leaving me alone with Sebastian.

I walk into the bathroom and close the door.
I know I’m being a coward but I need a breather before I go back
into the bedroom. Sebastian will be waiting for me and he will want
to have a talk that I am not prepared for.

I wash my face with soap and water. I grab
Sebastian’s toothpaste and apply it onto my fingertip. I change my
mind when I spot Sebastian’s toothbrush. I can’t explain it but I
want to feel closer to him, and the little eight inch stick with
bristles on the end is calling out to me.

I take the toothpaste from my finger and
apply it onto the brush. After I wet the toothbrush, I put it into
my mouth and start to brush a days worth of grime off my teeth. The
act feels very intimate. Like I am solidifying my relationship with
him even though he is not in the room with me.

I rinse and spit and then dry my mouth off
with the hotel towel. I take a long look at myself in the mirror.
My hair is pulled back in a ponytail; my face looks pale with no
make-up, my eyes hallowed out with dark circles underneath. I look
like a shadow of myself. I look like the woman who walked into
Sebastian’s office on that August morning.

Once Sebastian and I got together, I looked
happier. My eyes were a little brighter, I smiled more, my face was
fuller, and I almost glowed.

Almost.

I still had the inner pain that I dealt with
every day. The pain of losing my son. The one person I let down the
most in the world. But Sebastian, Sebastian helped me forget a
little… helped me move on, helped me heal… or so I thought. In
reality I wasn’t healed and that was proven the moment I found out
I was pregnant.