The Road To Forgiveness (10 page)

Charlie pays the tab and we head out of Aunt
B’s Diner.

“Why don’t we take a walk around town before
we head back?”

I look up at him, “Sounds great.”

We walk and enjoy the perfect weather Georgia
is having. The sun is shining and bringing warmth to my face. It’s
December 11
^th
, two weeks before Christmas. The
sixty-degree weather is enough of a reason to celebrate.

We take our time and look in the windows of
the little boutiques. I see my old hair salon, the drug store where
I used to buy my prenatal vitamins, and my favorite ice cream shop.
This place has the best turtle sundaes around.

“So how long have you been seeing
Sebastian?”

I almost got away without talking about
this.

“We aren’t seeing each other, Charlie. We
dated for a little while in Miami, I got pregnant, and then I
left.”

“So you ran.”

We stop at the end of the strip of stores and
sit down on the green bench at the corner. I guess I could talk to
Charlie about this. I need to talk to someone about this. Someone
other than Sebastian.

“Yes, I ran. I can’t be a mother again. I
can’t do it. The love I have for Miles is indescribable. It’s the
most selfless love there is. I know I would feel the same way about
this baby and I can’t imagine loving someone so much and losing
them again.”

I start to cry again and inwardly curse these
damn hormones. They are fucking with my emotions.

“But you’re doing it to yourself again, don’t
you see. You’re still going to give birth to this baby. You’re
still going to see it’s beautiful face and feel that instant
connection and love. Your still going to go through a horrible loss
the minute you give your child to Sebastian and vow to never see
your baby again. You’re not saving yourself from heartache, Mia.
You’re allowing more heartache in.”

I have never thought of it that way. Giving
my baby up probably would break me. It would be a loss but if I
kept it, I would feel like I was betraying the memory of Miles.

“What about Miles? Don’t you think it looks
like I am forgetting about him?”

“Oh, Sweetheart,” Charlie says as he brings
his thumb to my face to wipe the tear from my eyes. “Miles would
want you to be happy. You were his world and he would be upset to
know you were putting yourself through this. He is happy now, in
heaven. You need to find away to let this guilt go. DO you remember
how he used to ask you for a little brother or sister.”

I let out a small laugh, “Yes, the kid was
relentless and didn’t understand why I couldn’t come home with one.
He thought it was like bringing home a puppy.”

“Right. Do you honestly think he would be
happy to know that you finally gave him a sibling and were getting
rid of it? Giving it to someone else to raise and take care of?

“You have a wonderful man waiting on you,
ready to start a life with you. He wants you and the baby. I find
that to be a precious gift and it would break my heart to see you
walk away from that.”

Charlie leans over and kisses me on the
forehead. “I’ll make a deal with you. If you give Sebastian a
chance, and I mean a real chance, I’ll stay and try to work thing
out with your Momma.”

I gasp, “That’s not fair, Charlie. That’s
bribery and you know it!”

He laughs a big belly laugh, “No, it’s called
a compromise.”

What was up with everyone and their
compromises today? I feel like the joke is on me because I’m the
one who has to make the changes while everyone else gets what they
want.

“This is cruel, Charlie. You know I would do
anything to get you and Momma back together.”

Well, I guess it’s settled,” Charlie says as
he stands up and reaches out his hand to help me up. “Let’s go back
to your Momma’s house and see if she has any dessert we can
eat.”

“It’s not even noon yet.”

“Like that’s ever stopped us from eating
dessert together. Besides, you’re eating for two now.” He winks at
me as we make our way back to Jonathon’s car. Letting me
contemplate everything he’s just told me.

*****

I pull up to Jonathon’s apartment and turn
off the engine. After dropping off Charlie at my Momma’s and eating
half an apple pie, I left to go visit Miles. I shared with him all
the crazy events that happened in the last twenty-four hours.

I told him how Charlie was back and was going
to try to make things work with his grandma. I also told him how I
was going to hang around Sebastian a little more and see where
things lead.

It kills me to talk to him about this but I
needed to share with him. It makes me feel better when I tell him
about my life. Almost like he isn’t missing out.

When the cemetery closed I made my way over
to Jonathon’s. I need to grab a bag with some clothes if I am going
to be staying with Sebastian for a while. I step out of the car and
head up to Jonathon’s apartment. When I let myself in, I’m smacked
in the face with the most amazing smell of herbs and spices.

“Holy cow, it smells delicious in here. What
are you making?”

I turned the corner to see Jonathon
straightening his clothes and wiping his mouth from a heavy-duty
make-out session with, I’m assuming his date next to him.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I was just getting
a few things and leaving. I promise to be out of your way in a
minute.”

I hurry into the back bedroom to grab my
things that are in Jonathon’s closest. A few seconds later he walks
in behind me.

“I’m sorry, baby girl. I wasn’t planning on
that happening out on the couch but you know how it is. One thing
led to another and I wasn’t even thinking of the possibility of you
walking in the door. I was letting my little head do the thinking,
oh, you know what I mean.”

My body trembles at the image of what my best
friend implies.

“I can’t think of you intimately, so stop
putting the images in my head.”

“You’re such a prude.”

I gasp in mock horror of his implication, “I
am not.”

He giggles, “You’re right, you used to be a
prude. Sebastian changed that the minute you met him.”

I ignore his comment as I continue to gather
my things.

“Where are you off to? Not that I am
complaining because I really would hate to do the whole ‘you should
stay and have dinner with us act’. The reality is, I want the
apartment to myself so I can get some action.”

“I’m going to be staying with Sebastian for a
little while. I’m going to give him a shot, I guess. Apparently its
what him and Charlie call compromise.”

He looks over at me concerned, “Are you sure
that’s a good idea? Last time we talked you didn’t want to see him
again.”

I look over at my friend and realize how
lucky I am to have him in my life. He is always looking out for me.
I give him a hug and a squeeze before letting go.

“I’m not sure what is a good idea anymore but
I’m going to give it a try. The one thing I’ve learned in the last
day is that I need to start living again. I don’t know how to do
that but I think this might be the first step.”

“I’m happy for you, Mia. I’m glad you’re
trying to heal and this is the first step. You go, spend some time
with Sebastian, and keep me close. I want to hear all about it,
whatever you decide.”

“Sounds good. Now walk me out before you
continue with… whatever that was I witnessed in the living
room.”

I leave Jonathon’s place and head back to
Sebastian’s hotel. I took the day to think about what I was going
to do. In the end, I’m happy and hopeful about the decision I made.
Maybe this will work out. The only downside is the request
Sebastian made that I go to therapy, but I’ll try anything to stop
the guilt I feel everyday.

I pull up to the hotel and park Jonathon’s
car. I unload my bags from the trunk and head in to the hotel. I
instantly spot one of the luggage carts and place my thing on
there. It’s not like I have a lot to carry but I’m feeling fatigued
and the nausea is back.

I go up to Sebastian’s room and knock on the
door.

“Here we go, “ I whisper to myself.

He opens the door and pulls me in, leaving my
luggage cart out in the hallway. His arms come around me and he
hugs me tight to him while kissing my hair.

“I thought you left me, again,” He whispers
into my hair.

His arms feel like home to me as I lift my
arms to hold him around his waist and hug him back.

“I wouldn’t leave without telling you. Not
this time.”

I lift my head to look him in the eyes and
before I can say anything his lips are on mine. He kisses me
hungrily, like a man starving. It takes me a second to process
what’s happening before I’m kissing him back, just as hungrily.

It’s in this moment that I realize how much I
missed him today. I want to spend my days with him, I want to come
home with him at night, and I want to be with him. I suddenly feel
complete and I know I made the right decision in giving him a
chance. Maybe this will be the start of the rest of our lives or
maybe this will be the closure we both need. Either way, it will be
a decision we make together.

Sebastian is in just a pair of sweatpants.
His chest is bare and I can feel every muscle on his glorious
chest. His arms hold me tighter and I’m reminded of what a strong
man he is inside and out. I want to show him I’m here to stay. I
want to show him how much I’ve missed him this past month.

I break the kiss and drop down to my knees.
I’m now level with his growing erection. My hands grabbed the
waistband of his sweats and I lower them. I’m met with his strong,
hard cock. I lick my lips in anticipation of finally having him in
my mouth.

My hand moves up to touch his length.
Sebastian lets out a deep moan as I start to stroke him.

“Mia... you don’t… have to do this,” he says
huskily to me.

His voice turns me on even more. I lower my
mouth and lick the head of his cock. He tastes magnificent and I
want more. My tongue starts to circle the head of cock as I lick a
small amount of his juices from the tip.

His hands become more urgent as he looks down
at me with hooded eyes. His hand grasps the hair behind my head as
he pulls me impossibly closer to his length. I open my mouth and
surround his cock with my lips as I start to suck the head of his
cock in my mouth. My hand starts to pump in rhythm with my mouth.
He tastes so good and watching Sebastian come undone is the best
aphrodisiac.

Sebastian starts to loose control as he
starts to pump into my mouth. He goes deeper with every thrust and
I moan at the sensation of him filling me.

“Yes, baby, that’s it. Suck me clean. Make me
come in your mouth. I want you to suck down every last drop.”

Sebastian closes his eyes as his head drops
back. I can feel my nipples harden and and my panties getting wet.
I could come just by the sound of his husky, demanding voice.

I take my free hand and grab his ass as
Sebastian continues to thrust inside me.

“I’m coming for you, baby. Open wide.”

With those words I feel the beginning of his
release shoot down my throat. It taste salty and like Sebastian. I
take all of it. Sucking and licking until he has nothing left to
give.

After he releases inside me, he is still hard
and ready to go. He lifts me up and carries me to the bedroom. He
lays me down on the bed and within seconds I am completely naked
and underneath him. He kisses me softly and whispers in my ear.

“So are you agreeing to my compromise? Are we
going to try and make this work?”

His hand drifts down until he is slowly
stroking my clit. He sucks on the skin below my ear and I can feel
my body overheating.

“Yes… Yes… Yes… It’s a yes,” I whisper but
partly scream as I can feel my release start to build with every
stroke of his thumb.

“You won’t regret it, honey. I’m going to
make this work,’ he says as he slowly sucks on my earlobe. “But
first, I’m going to fuck you, so slow. I’m going to build you up
until you feel like you’re going to explode, until you turn your
body completely over to me.”

Before I can process it, he spreads my legs
open and thrusts inside me. Then he holds true to his promise. He
takes me so incredibly slow and with every thrust, my pussy
trembles. When we finish there is no questioning who owns my
body.

Chapter Eight

I wake up to the feel of Sebastian’s chest
pressed against my back. His lips are on my neck, his legs are
tangled with mine, and his hard length is resting against my ass
cheeks. It’s the most wonderful feeling in the world.

I feel a bit bipolar. My emotions and actions
have been so up and down in regards to him. I wish I could blame it
all on the pregnancy hormones, but I’d be lying if I did. I’ve been
this way from the moment I met him. It’s not my hormones, it’s
Sebastian. He makes me absolutely crazy in the most delicious way.
I crave him even though I don’t want to. I want control over our
interactions, but I want him to control me. I want to be the one
making the decisions but deep down inside, I know Sebastian is the
one in the driver’s seat, making all the calls.

His hands come around my body to tease my
breasts. I can feel my body awakening even before I’ve opened my
eyes. His right hand lowers; trailing a path down my body until he
places it on the place I want him the most. He cups me briefly
before spreading my lips with his fingers. His thumb brushes
against my clit and my body lets out a spasm.

“Sebastian,” I moan out as he pushes two
fingers inside me.

Almost instantly I feel my release start to
build. He has me at a constant state of arousal. His lips move to
my ear as he sucks on the skin below my earlobe.

“Let go, baby,” he says huskily and my body
instantly obeys.