The Rock Season (9 page)

Stevie

“I’m trying to get the girls’ stuff packed right now. MIKE! Can you please grab the laundry out of the dryer? I think Serena’s blankie is in there and she won’t leave without it.”

I heard him holler something back.

“They’re yours! You left them here last weekend, REMEMBER?”

I heard him chuckle over the evidence of their consorting he’d left behind.

“That’s right! Now where was I...Oh, yes, miss baby girl! I am going to text you Aaron’s number so you can text him directly. I probably won’t have service in Alaska to be your go-between.”

“I guess not. Thanks. For everything. I don’t know how I would have gotten through this...”

She pulled me in for a hug at her doorway. I’d stopped by to see her before she left tomorrow. I was a little afraid for her to be gone, but I made sure I put on my big girl panties this morning. Well, at least the lacy ones with the satin ribbon. They made me feel better! It’s not like anyone else was going to see them!

She pulled out her phone, made a stern mommy face and snapped a picture, then texted it to Aaron with the caption “You better take care of my girl!”

I rolled my eyes. “Niiiice. Now you didn’t specify how he’s supposed to take care of me.” I wiggled my eyebrows at her and she slapped my ass.

“Oooo, you bad girl! Seriously, though. Do you think you’re ready for that?” I shrugged. She raised an eyebrow. “Did you take any precautions?”  

“At my last visit to the ob/gyn she talked me into taking the Depo shot. It’s working great, I barely get a period.”

She nodded and I knew she wanted more info.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that. It’s been almost a year since I’ve had sex, Maryland! I don’t even know what to do anymore.”

Her sly smile had me giggling. “I think he’ll know what to do. But hey, only if you feel comfortable, ok? And you’ll have to hit me on Facebook. Private message me with the details.”

“I will. Be safe and let me know when you get there!”  

Maryland called the girls to the door to give me hugs and I waved goodbye, my heart feeling a little sad. Maryland was my rock. I knew I’d survive without her and I was grateful for the Internet, but this was weird. And I’d never gone to a concert alone before. I didn’t mind it, actually. It was going to be emotional for me to see Heart again. So many memories of my parents, my childhood, and my Nancy. I smiled. Today’s cry was very slight. I was singing along to ‘Love Me Like Music’ and stopped to touch my non-existent belly. Instead of feeling hollow, I felt grateful that I’d had the experience.

The show was tomorrow and I still needed to go home and write on my blog. I figured now I was ready to tell my tale.

For those who don’t know me, I was gearing up to be a mom this summer when the Fates decided that wasn’t to be my destiny. My baby girl was stillborn in May and I was devastated. I didn’t think I’d ever climb out of the grey and back into the light. But just as it has always done, music stepped in and soothed me. I’ve been to two shows since I’ve been back on my feet and they were both very moving experiences.

Tomorrow night will be different for me. I’m going to see Heart, whom I have many personal connections to. My parents named me after the sisters (middle name is Nann), and my first concert experience was seeing Heart with my parents when I was a little girl. I remember my parents holding onto each other and singing to all of Heart’s songs. My mother told me one day I could grow up to play like Nancy and sing like Anne. Unfortunately for her, I’m kind of tone deaf and I really struggled with playing guitar. My fingers and the frets didn’t get along. But every time I hear one of their songs, it takes me back to those innocence-filled days. Before my parents died, before my child died. I named her Nancy, by the way. Nancy Ann.

I have new memories to make this time. I’ve potentially found a new concert buddy and I am determined to continue to find peace in the music. I’ll post my review for you all when it’s over. Good night!

Sleep didn’t come easy that night before. I prattled around all day trying to stay busy so I wouldn’t fixate on seeing Aaron again. That didn’t help when around 3:00, in the afternoon, he texted me a picture of what looked like a work schedule. It listed a bunch of positions and then I saw his name highlighted:  

McShane: Artist Entrance and Backstage.

I giggled to myself and felt my cheeks getting hot. I texted back:

How did you get this number? Do you have the proper security clearance?

I received his answer very soon after.

Maryland must have thought you wouldn’t use mine. At least that’s what she said she was afraid of. I’m not a stalker, I promise. I just wondered if you might want to keep me company for part of the evening? I might be able to sneak off and watch Heart with you. If you don’t mind.

Maryland. Of course. Keep him company backstage? Oh, that would be terrible! In all the shows I’d ever been to, I’d never been backstage.

I don’t know. How can you be sure I won’t accost anyone backstage? Maybe I’m a crazy fan. I might not be trustworthy.

Why was I flirting with him? I felt out of control. It was fun, but scary. I didn’t want to get out of my comfort zone and not be able to go back. I just wasn’t sure I could be trusted yet. His answer came five minutes later.

I’m a highly trained security officer. I think I can handle any potential security breaches. I am curious, though. If I were thinking of changing careers to a ‘concert buddy’ position, could you tell me what the job description entails?

“Whoa,” I said to myself. This was it. I was pretty sure he was asking me what I was comfortable with. He was too good to be true!

I don’t have an official job description to share, but your duties would include: enjoying a wide variety of music, searching out excellent specimens for people-watching, making food and drink runs on a rotation basis at shows with General Admission, staying until the house lights come on (traffic be damned! ), and never leaving a fallen concert buddy behind (fallen can describe anything from drunk and being stupid, to unwanted attention from the opposite sex that becomes too difficult to do away with on one’s own). Oh! And you must be willing to dance and sing with abandon no matter who is on stage! No snobbery allowed. Think you can handle it?

I decided to get ready while I waited for his response. I showered and dressed in one of my mother’s old hippie dresses. It was a tank-styled sundress with patchwork and batiked panels in greys, blues and purples. It had a twirly skirt and I felt really feminine wearing it. I didn’t have one specific style, my clothes had to fit my mood, and tonight, I wanted to feel soft and pretty. I’m sure that had everything to do with my potential new concert buddy. Speaking of which, his response:

Sounds like a dream job to me. Can we add a couple of duties, for both of us? How about always being honest? Like if the concert buddy were to bring you a regular Coke and you wanted Diet, not saying “Oh, it’s ok, I don’t mind.” Or if for any reason the concert buddy says or does something that makes you uncomfortable, that you tell him right away? It’s important to have open communication for any working relationship to succeed, don’t you think?

Oh my sweet, sensitive eyes do deceive me! Could he be real? I hurried to finish my makeup and messy bun and tapped back a response.

I am agreeable to your additions as long as you can be agreeable to one further stipulation? It’s important to always be understanding and patient with your concert buddy. She very much wants a successful working relationship, but is pretty rusty and...Well, yeah. That’s all. Just be patient? I’m leaving here in about 15 minutes. Do you think Security will bust me for sneaking in some breath mints? I know the sign says no outside food or drink, but do breath mints really count as a food? I’m just asking. I thought maybe you might have some experience with this. See you in a bit.

I giggled to myself, pleased to be leaving things on a lighter note. I had high hopes for this night, that I would get to know more about him and hopefully chip away at this fear I had about getting involved with someone. Because something told me Aaron just might be the kind of man I could safely get involved with.

I checked my phone one last time before pulling out of my lot.

Breath mints definitely are not a food and will not cause Security to frown. They are a personal hygiene item and therefore perfectly acceptable. Just out of curiosity, where are you driving from? Just want to see how much longer I have to wait to see you again.

I pondered the wisdom of telling him, but then he already had my number. I could easily be traced that way if he were a serial killer.

Foster City. Be there around 6:30?

McShane

I felt that damn stupid smile creeping up as I read her text. It was just after five. A little over an hour. I could make it.

“That looks like a different face than I saw last week,” I heard Tyson come up behind me.

I still couldn’t make the damn stupid smile go away. “Yeah. After I saw you last week, she found me in the bar. We talked. She’s coming tonight. Alone.”

Tyson raised an eyebrow and then clapped me on the back. “Then I think you should show her a good time.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s not like that, man. She’s different.”

He shook his head. “Which is exactly why you should show her a good time. You deserve a little something to make you smile tonight.”

He winked at me and took off.

I had a fairly lonely post tonight, which I thought could be good if Stevie was willing to come hang out with me. All I had to do was make sure no one without a badge got past me to get back where the artists’ trailers were. I grabbed a bottle of water and sat on my stool. I listened to the bands do sound check and I felt a flutter in my stomach when I heard Heart warming up. Those ladies combined were a powerhouse! The opening band was Jason Bonham’s Led Zeppelin, which sounded amazing. I hated that I would miss that, but I was stuck back here. Stevie visiting would make it worthwhile.

I talked to a few of the people with the bands, the techs, etc. who were lingering around. A couple other security guys came by to see what was going on. Pretty soon it was 6:30 and I was anxiously awaiting a text from her. My knee was bouncing on my stool and I couldn’t stand sitting still. I started to pace. By 6:45 I still hadn’t heard anything. I hoped traffic wasn’t bad. Or I hoped she hadn’t run into any trouble with parking. Or getting up here from the lot. Shit, did she park VIP or out in the field? If she was alone…

Her text came through at 6:57.

Finally inside. Can I bring you something to eat? Do you get to have a dinner break? And can I even get to where you are? I wouldn’t want to interfere with your important job so if you need to see me later, I understand.

I heaved a huge sigh of relief and grabbed Cooper, one of the younger guys working security.

“Hey, can you watch my spot for a minute? I need to meet someone.”

He nodded eagerly and struck a serious pose. Jesus, I hoped I didn’t look like that much of a douche back here!

I texted her back

Tell me where you are and I’ll bring you back to my secret lair.

Ok, maybe I was that much of a douche. I couldn’t help it, something about her made me feel like being corny. And silly. And sappy. Maybe it was just my heart doing flip flops.

Stage Left and can you believe they already ran out of hot dogs? Madness! That’s ok. I already ate something before I came but it just sounded good. Sure, I can’t grab you a drink?

I made my way around and up to the snack bar. I was watching the gate not too far from there. I snuck up behind her and said, “I’m fine thanks.”

She turned around and almost splashed me with her soda. She was grinning.

“Hi,” she said and that was the one word it took. If I wouldn’t have been at work having to be a tough guy, that one word would have knocked me on my ass. As it was, I needed to get back.

“Hi,” I answered lamely. Then I noticed her dress and I forgot who I was and what I was supposed to be doing. She was that beautiful. She bounced on the balls of her sandal-clad feet, obviously nervous.

“So should I just go to my seat, or-”

“No! I mean, you can if you want to, or you can come sit with me. I only have to stay through the opener. They’re going to be really good, though, so if you wanted to see them I under-”

“We’ll be able to hear them,” she said with a shrug. “That’s fine with me.”

I nodded, still in disbelief that we were really standing and having a conversation. I snapped out of it and said, “Well then let me show you just how super important my job is right now.”

She laughed and walked next to me, both hands on her cup. We snuck looks at each other while we walked down the ramp and I led her to the parking lot entrance where the tour buses parked.

“This is it. This is where the magic happens, or at least where they all enter the venue to make the magic.”

There was no one around but the two of us. In the distance you could hear people partying in the lot near the buses and behind me, you could see people milling around backstage, mostly the roadies. It was really a boring place to be situated.

“Wow,” she said in fake wonderment. “I never dreamed I would learn the inner workings of the Amphitheater parking lot!” She giggled and took a sip of her drink.

We approached Cooper and I told him he could take off.