The Rock Season (7 page)

“Ali, you need to quit that job! You did not go to college to break up fights with low life people.” Grandma Samadi was the first to get to me, followed by Grandma McShane.

“Aaron, my boy,” Grandma McShane murmured. “I’ve got some ointment that will help with the scarring.

“Scar! How’s that going to help you find a wife, Ali? I told you I want great grandbabies.”

I groaned and kept my head down trying to eat my Potato Leek soup in peace.

Pops came in next and lightly smacked the top of my head. “Hey slugger, pass the bread, would you?”  

I handed him the bread and then felt soft hands on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry you were hurt, my son.” Mom kissed the top of my head and went to her seat quietly.

Pops and I sat on each end, the twins on one side of the table, the grandmothers and Mom on the other. Every now and then my cousin Aziz would join us. This was one of those nights.

“Cousin, you look like hell. You need to quit all this nonsense. Let me get you in with the bank.”

I rolled my eyes. “Aziz, I have no interest in getting back into that kind of work. I’ve told you before. I’m fine. The store is great, we’ve been in the black the past four months, and this side gig is just for fun. All right? Now can we please just eat?”

But Pops wasn’t done. I could feel him eyeing me from across the table. I knew we’d go for a walk after dinner and I was almost looking forward to telling him about the Goddess, who I was going to see again on Wednesday. It couldn’t get here quick enough.

Stevie

“So what’s the game plan,” Maryland asked me as we sat at a picnic table near the snack bar.

I shrugged. “I don’t know! I haven’t seen him yet. And since when did this become about seeing a guy? I thought we were having a girls’ night?” I winked at her, fully accepting that I was full of shit. I had been a little disappointed that my Savior wasn’t in the entrance line and that I hadn’t seen him.

“It’s all part of the package, baby girl! We always check out the scenery when we come to shows and to be honest, I am really hoping I see some good scenery tonight! I’ve got some feelings I need to work out, if you know what I mean.”

I choked on the water I had just sipped and she laughed. 

“I wondered about that,” I said when I stopped coughing. “You’ve always had a healthy appetite and it’s been awhile since you’ve gone out with anyone.”

She shrugged, running her fingers along her straw. “I haven’t been out, true, but I don’t often kick Mike out of my bed.”

My eyes bugged out. “You guys are still fooling around!?”  

She laughed. “Yeah. Sometimes. When neither of us is seeing anyone. I know it’s dumb. We agreed to divorce because we’d been together since I was 17 and he was 20 and we thought we weren’t happy anymore. But I guess I kind of miss him. He’s been telling me he thinks splitting up was a mistake. Guess he figured out what I knew all along, which was that he would never find anyone better than me.”

I high-fived her! “Damn right, girlfriend!”

“Besides, he gets to do all kinds of things with me that he’d probably get slapped for if he asked someone else.”  

I smiled at her and sighed. “How romantic!”

She kicked me under the table and we laughed.

“Seriously, though, Maryland. Did you ever think maybe you guys were just frustrated because you had the girls and they took up so much of your lives?”  

“It very well could be that. I don’t know. I’m just going to see what happens, which brings up something else I wanted to tell you.”

I frowned. “What is it?”  

She took a deep breath and smiled. “The girls and I are going to Alaska for a couple of months to stay with my mother.”

Maryland’s mother was Native Alaskan and her father came from Northern European ancestry. They’d been split up as long as I’d known her. I knew she had been to Alaska to see her mother once or twice, but that they weren’t super close.

“Wow! That’s a pretty big deal. What do the girls think?”

She finished off her burger and wadded up the wrapper. “They are excited. My mom’s not doing well health-wise, so I figured we better do this. It means starting Jenna late in Kindergarten but she’ll catch up. She’s young, anyway. Mike is bummed, but I told him this would be good for us, too. Maybe when we get back, he and I can, I don’t know. I don’t know!” We both laughed and then she looked at her phone.

“The Neon Trees will be on in a few minutes. Think we should hit the restroom before we go to our seats?”  

I agreed and we took care of our trash and our basic needs. I was waiting for her outside when I saw my Savior walking into the seats. He wasn’t wearing his jacket again and had a bandage on the back of his head still. I started to follow him and then realized I shouldn’t ditch Maryland. When she came out minutes later, I grabbed her hand and started running.

“Why are we running? OH! You saw him!”  

I smiled at her and led her to the entry to the 100s. Luckily the seats were only about half full so we started looking around. I couldn’t find him again. We were sitting in the 200s this time since we got the tickets late.

“Damn,” I said with exasperation.

Maryland gave me a pouty face and kissed my cheek. “We’ll find him. Fate, remember?”  

I smiled down at her and turned to cheer as the band took the stage.

The Neon Trees put on an amazing show. The lead singer Tyler had such a frenetic energy. He was all over the place! We’d seen them a couple of years ago opening for Mutemath and 30 Seconds to Mars. The stage was full of gear and they only had a tiny space to perform in. I was nervous the whole time that he was going to trip and fall!

About twenty minutes into their set I desperately had to pee again. “Need anything,” I asked Maryland. She said she was good so I trotted up the steps and went out to the snack bar. I used the bathroom and when I came out, Fate blessed me with a sighting. I snuck up behind him in the beer line and stood close to him. He was on his own, so I felt a little brave. I cleared my throat and said, “I didn’t think you were allowed to drink on the job.”

McShane

I spun around at the sound of the voice I’d been dreaming of hearing again and stood inches from the Goddess.

“Hey,” I said, somewhat breathlessly. “I wondered if I’d see you.” Dumb! Jesus, I had no idea how to talk to this woman. She had me all tied up in knots just from standing close to her. Tonight she was wearing slim, black cargo pants and a distressed to the point of see-through, light grey shirt over a white cami. She was resplendent! Her long, red curls were falling down her shoulders and her back and she smelled like the ocean. I was really going to die.

“I saw you before the Trees started, but then you disappeared. So. Hi.” She blushed and I realized she was just as nervous. We stood there staring at each other until I heard a throat clearing.

“Are you going to order something,” the man behind her said and I shook myself.

“Yeah, sorry. Can I get you a drink,” I asked her and she smiled.

“Sure. I’ll have a Diet Coke.”

I smiled at her and turned to order for us. I opted for the same. I didn’t want to have anything clouding my brain right now. I felt like this was my opportunity and I didn’t want to fuck it up.

I picked up our drinks and handed one to her, delighted when her hand grazed mine. “Can you talk for a minute,” I asked, praying she’d say yes. I assumed she was with her friend, but I knew we wouldn’t be able to talk if we went back to the seats. Her eyes brightened and she nodded. I led her over to a picnic table that was empty and she sat across from me. The sun was setting behind her and her hair was alive with fire. She was growing more beautiful by the minute. I was growing more dumbstruck.

“I thought you’d be working,” she said and I shook my head.

“No. Tyson, the guy I was with? He’s the general manager here and he wouldn’t let me work because I got stitches from the other night. He made me stay and watch the show instead.” I took a drink of my soda, my mouth going dry from nerves. She looked concerned.

“You ended up with stitches? Ouch! Are you ok? You didn’t get a concussion or anything, did you?”  

I shook my head and felt my mouth split into a stupid smile. She was asking about my boo boo. God damn she was sexy.

“I’m fine. I was upset that I had to leave so soon the other night. I didn’t even catch your name.”

 She did that blushing thing that went down her neck and down the front of her… “You didn’t, that’s true,” she said slyly. Ok, innocent, concerned, playing games with me. My head was spinning. She gave me a break. “You’re a music junkie, right?” Ok, not what I thought she was going to say.

“I am. What gave it away?”  

She shrugged and narrowed her eyes at me. “I can just tell. I figure if you’re working security here you either get off on knocking drunk people around or you like the music. Am I right? It’s because you like the music?”

I laughed. She was trying to figure me out. This was good. Scary, but good.

“I do like the music. I don’t really like to knock drunken people around unless they act stupid. Then it’s just karma.”

She laughed and said, “Very true. Ok. So you are a music junkie. If I told you I was named after a very famous female rocker, you think you could guess?”  

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, desperate for the oxygen necessary to make an intelligent guess. “Hmmm...If I was going by looks, I might say Janis, but if I was going by coolness factor I might guess...Wait. I need more info.”

She laughed, her eyes crinkling on the sides. “Ok. You can ask me one question.”

I nodded. “Fair enough. What kind of car did your parents drive growing up?”  

She burst out laughing and took a minute to collect herself. “Um, a Volkswagen bus.”

Hmmm, that could mean one of two possibilities. “The best I can do is narrow it down to two with that information.”

She raised an eyebrow and said, “Well, you’re going to have to because you already asked your question. But say I let you ask another question, what would it be?”  

I rubbed at my chin a little, faking a thinking pose. “See, now that could get me in trouble, because you’re not supposed to ask a lady her age. Knowing how old you are might help me, but I’m going to just give it my best.”

She bit down on her lip and I was so glad I was sitting down. “So what’s your guess,” she said with a grin, her luscious lips holding the straw of her soda. Then she grinned and bit down on it. I was seeing stars.

“Um, shoot. I don’t like to be wrong, but here goes. It’s got to be Ann or Stevie. I think I’d go with Stevie. Ann is a little ordinary for you.” Gah, I wanted to kick myself. What if that was her name? Shit. Her face gave nothing away. Then she smiled.

“You’re right, sort of, on both counts. It just so happens that my last name is Wilson, my first name is Stevie, and my mother gave me Nann for my middle name because she couldn’t decide between the sisters.” She blushed again and took another drink of her soda.

I was floored. “I think it’s perfect,” I said softly and her smile dropped a little, her expression going from happy to something close to, dare I think…

“So what’s your name,” she asked, obviously trying to keep the mood light.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “I just may have found someone with a name almost as complicated as mine,” I said and this grabbed her attention.

“Complicated? I would say my name is unusual but not complicated.” She was smiling, though, so I relaxed a little.

I took a sip of my drink and said, “I just meant that you have lots of meaning behind yours. Mine is only unusual because of the combination. It kind of throws people off.”

She cocked her head to the side and looked intrigued. “Ok, I can see that. I would guess your name is complicated because you come from very different backgrounds?” She seemed unsure of herself but she was so right.

“Absolutely. My mother is Afghan, my father is Irish.”

Her eyes widened and she giggled. “That’s pretty different. But a handsome combination.” Her smile knocked me the fuck out. Oh sweet Lord! How was I going to not look like an ass? “I have no idea where to even start. You might need to just tell me. I don’t think I’m as good of a guesser as you.”

 I laughed. I figured I should let her off the hook. “You asked for it. My name is Aaron Ali Salaam McShane. I know. It’s a lot.”

She inhaled sharply and then smiled. “I think it’s wonderful.”

 She thinks it’s wonderful. Oh God.

“Thanks, but most people just call me McShane to avoid confusion. My mother’s mother calls me Ali, my parents and paternal grandmother call me Aaron, my brothers call me Asshole, and to everyone else it’s just McShane.”

She clapped her hands to her mouth and laughed. “That would be enough to give anyone an identity crisis!”  

I felt myself blushing and shrugged. “I don’t know. I think I’m doing ok.”

She was smiling so broadly. I never wanted that smile to go away. I took a chance with my next question, wondering if it would get her to open up.

“What did you name your baby?”

Her smile fell. Completely. I thought I saw a tear and I immediately knew I’d screwed up royally. I wanted to say something, anything, to salvage the conversation.

She spoke in a heartbroken tone. “I named her Nancy. I have to go.” She stood up quickly and I shot up to stop her.

“Wait, Stevie, I’m-”

“I have to go, Aaron. Thank you for the drink. I need to-”

“I’m sorry. Can I walk you back,” I asked, but she just shook her head and offered me a sad smile. What the hell did I just do?

“I hope I’ll see you again,” she said softly and walked away from me.

What to do? If I go after her, I’m crowding her. If I don’t, I lose her forever. I stood there rooted to the ground, my jaw hanging open. I squeezed my eyes shut tight, wishing I could go back just three minutes. What the fuck was I supposed to do now?

Stevie

I didn’t go directly back to the seats. I couldn’t breathe and I was afraid I was going to cry. Instead, I went up onto the lawn and sat in an empty spot, my knees pulled up to my chest.

This was so not his fault and I knew I’d left Aaron feeling terrible. Apparently I couldn’t handle talking about her yet. Why couldn’t I have just told him I couldn’t talk about it? Or told him the truth? I was going to have to deal with this. I knew that. But I didn’t want him to be a part of the ugliness. He was my Savior! I knew that didn’t mean he was literally going to save me from myself. The possibility of meeting someone new, even just to be a friend was something positive that I desperately needed in my life.

I blew out a breath and stood up, stretching out my back. I made my way down to the seats where Maryland and I were sitting and found her deep in conversation with a woman and her husband.

“Hey! Did you get lost or found,” she asked me with a wink. Then she saw my expression and said, “Or both. You ok?”  

It was the break before the Killers came on and I knew we had about twenty minutes or so before it would get too loud to talk.

“I saw him. We talked. It was great. And then it wasn’t. And I wish it still was and I feel terrible that I walked away from him. What do I do?”  

She assumed the corner coach position. “Did you say or do anything that can’t be unsaid or undone?”  

I shook my head. “No. We were talking about names, where our names come from. He was so fun and he has such a beautiful name and then...” I took in a shaky breath to fight back the tears. “He asked me what I named my baby, Maryland! I panicked!”