The Rock Star Next Door, a Modern Fairytale (49 page)

“Where i
s David?” Jessie looked around the waiting room
for her brother-in-law
.

“Home
,
watching
the boys. I’ve been calli
ng him every
hour.”

“Jessie.” Aunt Rachel gestured fo
r her to follow them
out to the hall.

Once Jessie was there, Aunt Rachel escorted her away from the waiting room and Michelle. “Honey, I’m sorry to have to do this to you guys at a time like this. You should all stand together, but . . .”  She looked anxiously at the door, as if waiting for Michelle to come out and interrupt them.

“Michelle is going to ask
us to protect Mom, cover it up. S
ay it’s all a big mistake.” Jack filled Jessie in.
“Dad’s still in surgery. That’s all we know.”

“I was there, Jessie.” Rachel said in hard, determin
ed voice. “Your father
called me to try to help him talk her down and ge
t her to the hospital. H
e was determined to have her committed this time, but Michelle--“

“Michelle won’t admit there is a problem.” Jessie finished. “She wants to do what w
e were taught to do as children--
pretend that nothing is wr
ong with our mom or with our family and just close ranks against the world and protect mom.
”

“Yes.” Aunt Rachel placed an arm about both of them, drawing them close.
“It’s what your father has done for the past thirty years. When your sister was
three years old your mom had a really terrifying
‘episode’. Your father was on the road. We feared your mom
would hurt
herself or Michelle
. So, Grandma and I h
ad your mom committed to the psyche ward of the hospital. When your dad came home
he took her out of the hospital and that was the end of it.
Come, walk with me.” Aunt Rachel’s voice cracked. She led the twins down the corridor, leaning on both of them now as if she
were
weary of the struggle, weary of keeping the secrets in the family.

“Grandma respected his decision. She loved her daughter. She didn’t want to see Marcie in an institution. None of us did. But my mother helped your dad too much. She encouraged him
in thinking that if
we all just took care of Marcie
it would all be oka
y. O
f course, it wasn’t. When I was pregnant with your cousin Eric, I didn’t talk to your mom for a whole year. I couldn’t. She upset me too much with her wild accusations.”

Jack and Jessie shared a look, knowing all too well how their mother could be when she was convinced about one of her delusions. She always thought people were out to get her, spying on her, trying to cheat her, or were plotting against her.

“What was it that time?” Jack asked. “When you were expecting Eric?” 

“She kept insisting my husband was having an affair with her
. She told me and our mother that
your Uncle
Dave was coming over
to her house in
the middle of the night
while your dad was on the road. It was a lie, but she insisted, as she always does with her delusions, that it was the truth.
It upset me badly. I was afraid it was true. But then we sat down and reasoned out her accusations. All of
Dave’s time cards and paychecks
showed he was at work every night during
his shifts
. If he left work to spend the nights with her,
then his time cards would hav
e shown it. He would have to take sick
or vacation time to keep getting paid. W
e tried to explain that to her
and asked her to stop making those accusations to everyone who would listen, but she kept doing it
. So, you see, there have been times when I had to walk away from your mom and her
illness to protect myself, too, just as you had to do.
”

Jessie had never known about her mom and her aunt being estranged. Apparently there was a lot she didn’t know about the prior generation of Delaneys.

“W
hy did dad refuse to get mom help all those years ago?” Jessie asked. “He knew
she was always making up stuff and she believed her delusions
, too.”

“
He
was old fashioned.
He was taught that a man’s family problems were private, and there was a huge stigma attached to mental illness. Honey, this was over thirty years ago,
when your sister was just a toddler
. Things were
very
different
back
then. We didn’
t hear
detailed
discussions about
Borderline Personality Disorder
or
Schizophrenia
on
Oprah
or
Ellen
. Mental illness in a family was always kept quiet.
Your dad thought
he could manage her mental illness
himself
.
He did get
her to see a doctor
and she was taking medication
s
but as you know, that changes every moon p
hase. She takes it for a while
and then quits
, convincing herself she doesn’t need it
.
And when he was on the road five days a week, out of town, none of us knew if she quit taking her meds until it was too late.
She would have good periods, months without any delusions or any extreme e
pisodes. Life would seem normal
and then, well . . . you know.” Aunt Rachel waved her hand in a helpless gesture. “It would all just blow up in our faces.”

Once t
hey reached the end of the hall
Rache
l sat down on
the cushioned bench and motioned
for them to do the same.
Jessie sat beside her aunt. Jack remained standing.

“How bad is our Dad?” Jessie asked, wanting that truth right now more than the family confessional.

“He was shot in ch
est.” Aunt Rachel said, and
broke down into a fit of weeping.

Chapter Twenty Four

Jack stood beside their aunt as she sat on the cushioned bench. He had his arm
about her shoulders as she leaned
against him
and wept into his side
. He shoved his sunglasses up onto his head, meeting Jessie’s eyes with severity.

He didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. She knew what he was thinking, because Jessie was thinking exactly the same thing. If their father died, they were not going to let their sister and their mother cover up the deed by making it into a ‘mistake’.

“Aunt Rachel, wh
at happened?” Jessie prodded, rubbing her aunt’s back in a soothing manner
. “Please, you said you were there. Did you talk to the police?”

“Yes, I gave them my statement
.” Aunt Rachel recovered
. She sat up straight
and patted Jessie’s leg
with affection
. “When your father tried to get her to put the gun down, she waved it at him, threatening to shoot him
if he didn’t back away
. You know how she gets, irrational, ranting and cursing, blaming all of us for what’s w
rong in her head
. Now, I don’t think she
meant
to shoot him, but she did, just the same. She did.
She pointed the gun at him, threatening him with it
and it went off.
That’s what I told the police
. But your sister, she wants me to recant, to change my story and
make it so that it was all
a
n
‘acc
ident’, your mom moving the gun
or cleaning it;
more
lies
.
This is serious. We can’t lie about it. What if she does it aga
in?
What if she hurts someone else?
M
ichelle’s little boys are
there at the house
all the time--
”

“If Dad lives,” Jack cut in, “What will he say? Would he
tell a
lie to cover this up? He’s been lying for
so many years, Aunt Rachel, pretending she’s normal, covering up
when things go south. That’s why we ran away. We couldn’t deal with her shit anymore.”

“Oh, my dear, dear Little Jack.” Aunt Rachel called hi
m by his old nickname
as he was named after their father. She took
his hand
and gaze
d up at him with love
. “I know, honey.
I know
. A
nd you did well for yourself. I’m proud of you. And,
Jessie--
sweetie--if only you had called me.”
She took Jessie’s hand firmly in her own, squeezin
g it. “I know it’s probably too late but if you hadn’t broken off with that man and there was still a wedding in the offing, your Uncle Dave
would
be proud to
walk you down the aisle. Both
of us would be
there, with bells on, honey. This whole
wedding
thing
, it was horrible. I’m so sorry. It never should have come to
you
breaking up with your man.
”

“They threatened to disown me.
Not just Mom.
Dad
did
too, this time.
”
Jessie admitted. “And
they did. They
turned their back on me because of Lex. E
ven Michelle. It was you who called us about Dad.”

“
Y
our father asked
me to
call you
, honey.
” Aunt Rachel whispered in a clogged voice ripe with tears. She cupped Jessie’s cheek and stroked her hair with affection. “Those where his last words
when they were loading him
into the ambulance, ‘
Call the twins, I can’t
die without seeing them again’, that’s what he said
to me
. His last thoughts were about you two, not your mother.”
Aunt Rachel shuddered, as if the memory were before her again. “I believe he was sorry for all that had happened in the past month.”

“But he we
nt along with her. He took her side
.
He
told me he would be ashamed of me if I married Lex.”

It wasn’t
easy to overlook his cruelty, even now. Mom casting her off was on
e thing. Jessie was used to it
fro
m the time she was six
. It was a
routine their mother played regularly
;
a predictable pattern in their lives
. There would be months of normal times, almost happy times if you didn’t pay too much attention to the fact that you were wal
king on eggshells, trying not to upset Mom
. And then Mom’s mental illness would rear it
s ugly head
. She’d rant, cry, threaten
and make everyone aroun
d her feel guilty because
she was so miserable
.
Dad
was the stable one
w
hen they were growing up.
He didn’t threaten. He didn’t rant. He was
always
calm. To have h
im
be willing to turn his back on Jessie for marrying the man she loved, it was like shaving off a piece of her heart.

“I know.
” Aunt Rachel said quietly. “But, when it came down to it
he had to do it. You see, when
he got so sick
and lost his job
three years ago
, they put everything into your mom’s name. The house, the bank accounts, everything.
It all belongs to her.
So,
if he didn’t go along with Marcie
in her tirade against you over your marriage, well, he’d be out on the street, with nothing, Jessie. Nothing but his chemotherapy bills.”

“What the f
uck?
” Jack swore loudly. “Why would he give everything t
o her?
W
e sent them money--monthly--damn it
--
when he became ill
we sent him money and it all went to her?” 

“Shhh
--young man.” Aunt Rachel chastened
.
“You’re in a hospital
.”

“We would have taken care of him, and Michelle
would have, too
. He wouldn’t have been homeless.” Jessie countered, not buying into her Aunt’s excuse.