The Rock'n'Roll Romance Box Set (Pam Howes Rock'n'Roll Romance Series) (80 page)

  
‘I have,’ Jon grunted.
‘There’s no lucky lady. Sean’s got the wrong end of the stick as usual.’

  
‘Well something’s
bothering you,’ Sean said. ‘You’re not normally so head in the clouds. That’s
Livvy’s domain.’

    
‘I’m tired, that’s all.
Jess and I were out with Jason last night. We were late home and then I
couldn’t sleep.’

  
‘Oh well, that explains
it,’
Roy
said, grinning. ‘Okay if I pop
through and have a private word with Livvy?’

  
‘Feel free,’ Sean nodded.

***

Livvy was pouring milk into a mug as
Roy
popped his head around the door.
She jumped and slopped the milk onto the tray.
  

  
‘Jon, now look what
you’ve made me do.’ She turned, an annoyed expression on her face. ‘Oh, it’s
you. I thought it was Jon. He’s always sneaking up on me, making me jump.’

  
‘You’re
a grumpy cow this morning,’
Roy
said. ‘I need a word and Sean said
it was all right for me to come through.’
 

  
‘Sit down while I take
them their coffees,’ she said and picked up two of the mugs. ‘You can have mine
if you like.’

  
Roy
parked himself on the old armchair
as she left the room and he sipped her coffee. She came back in and made
herself another.

  
‘Why don’t you come to
the flat after I finish work?’ she said, sitting on a small chair opposite.

  
‘I can’t come to the flat
again,’ he said. ‘I promised Sam I wouldn’t and I’ve no intentions of breaking
the promise. She’s in full agreement with me about the money side of things,
that we should support you, but she doesn’t want me to have contact with you.
Get your bank details for me and I’ll transfer some money and set up a standing
order. I’ll keep in touch, make sure you’re okay, but I can’t see you alone again,
Livvy.’

  
‘But you said,’ she
began.

  
Roy
held up his hands. ‘I know what I
said, but I
can
’
t
see you on my own. I don’t want to hurt Sammy further.
You
chose to stay pregnant. I own up to fathering the kid. I’ll help financially
like I said, but that’s it. I’m sorry, honestly. I have too much to lose if I
see you again.’
 
He stood up and patted
her shoulder. ‘Get me those bank details.’

  
She looked at him. He
wasn’t meeting her eyes. This wasn’t what he wanted, she was certain. This was
what
Sammy
was telling him to do.
‘Stay in town, Roy. Have lunch with me, we could talk a bit more.’

  
‘Sorry, no can do. I’m
having lunch with Sam,’ he replied. ‘Besides, there’s nothing else to say. I
know you told Jon and Sean that I’ll feel differently when the baby arrives,
but believe me, I won’t. I want to stay with my wife, Livvy. I’ve never stopped
loving her; I made sure you knew that right from the word go. If
you’d
been honest with me, we wouldn’t
be in this
mes
s.
I
never wanted to bring another kid into the world. But like you
told me the other night, I’ve no rights over your body and what you choose to
do with it.’

  
She blinked back tears.
‘You’re right. I’ve no reason to expect anything of you. It’s my fault and I’m
grateful for the offer of support.’ She rummaged in her handbag for her
chequebook, wrote the numbers down and handed over the piece of paper. ‘I’ll
see you around, I expect.’

  
He nodded. ‘If you need
me, contact Ed or Jon. Don’t call the house. I don’t want Sammy upsetting at
any cost.’

  
‘Are you moving back home
then?’

  
‘Not yet, Sam needs more
time. I’m moving into a flat on Monday.’

  
‘Can I have the phone
number for there? In case I have any problems.’

  
‘No, it’s best if you
don’t. Call Ed if it’s urgent. He’ll let me know right away and I’ll get
straight back to you. I’m going now or I’ll be late for Sammy.’

  
Livvy nodded as he stood
up. ‘Bye then,
Roy
,’ she said quietly.

  
‘Bye, Livvy.’

***

‘I’m sorry to take up her working time, Sean,’
Roy
apologised as he went back into
the shop. He felt awful, hurting her like that. But there was no other option
if he wanted to stay with Sammy.

  
‘That’s okay. Is she all
right?’

  
‘She’s a bit upset. She
had to face a few home truths and I know I’ve really hurt her. But at the end
of the day it’s her decision not to have an abortion. I hope I’ve got through
to her and this time it sinks in.’
  

  
Sean shook his head.
‘It’s a
mes
s, Roy. I don’t envy you one little
bit. I someti
mes
wonder if Livvy’s not quite all
there, you know.
Two sandwiches short of a picnic
, as Tina says.’

  
‘Why do you say that?’
Roy
asked.

  
‘Sean’s right, Roy,’ Jon
chipped in. ‘She doesn’t always listen to what you’re telling her.

Like Granddad Ben says, s
he's, two sheep short of a flock,
half the time. She hears what she wants to hear and it’s not always what you’ve
told her.’

  
‘For God’s sake, are you
two trying to tell me she’s fucking loopy?’

  
‘Not loopy exactly,’ Sean
reassured him. ‘A bit strange now and again, but not really loopy.’

  
‘You don’t think she’ll
do anything stupid do you?’
Roy
asked, concerned. ‘I mean anything to harm herself or the baby?’

  
Jon shook his head. ‘No,
well I hope not anyway.’ He broke off as the staffroom door opened and Livvy
walked out, eyes red rimmed.

  
‘I thought you’d gone!’
She glared at
Roy
. ‘You said you had to get back for Sammy.’ She almost spat the
name out.

  
‘I’m going now. I need to
buy guitar strings.’ Sean followed him downstairs and led the way to the
display of strings and accessories.

  
‘I need a quick word,’ he
said to
Roy
.

  
‘What’s up?’

  
‘Find out if Jon’s got a
problem at home. What with him and Livvy, between them they’re doing my bloody
head in.’

  
‘What sort of problem?’
Roy
frowned and handed Sean two
packets of strings. ‘I ate with them last night and they were all fine then.’

  
‘I don’t know,’ Sean
shrugged, giving the strings to the girl at the till. ‘I wondered if the
meeting he had with Angie’s family might have upset him.’
 

  
‘From what I understand,
that went off all right. Leave it with me. I’ll ask Sam. See if Jane’s said
anything. I’ll call you later.’
Roy
paid for the strings and slipped
the package into his pocket.

  
‘I’d appreciate that,
thanks,’ Sean said as
Roy
left the shop.

***

Sammy’s Porsche was on the hotel car park and he swung alongside
it.
  

  
As he hurried through
reception,
Sharon
told him his wife was in the bar. He thanked her and joined
Sammy. Bending to kiss her lightly on the lips, he pushed Livvy’s hurt
expression to the back of his mind, for now.

  
‘Do you want another
drink down here, or would you like to go upstairs?’ he said, gazing into
Sammy’s eyes. He’d been so looking forward to this and the look she was giving
him told him she was feeling the same.
 

  
‘Guess?’ she teased as
Roy
caught her hand and thought she
looked good enough to eat. Her neat shiny hair was just begging to be
mes
sed up and that glossy pink
lipstick could be kissed off in seconds.

  
‘Upstairs, woman!’ he
ordered. ‘I’m not guessing, I’m telling!’ He picked up her drink and pulled her
to her feet.

‘
Roy
I love it when you take charge,’ she giggled. ‘The food can
definitely wait ’til later.’

***

Jess stared at the page in disbelief, burst into tears and chucked
her diary across the bedroom. It hit the wall and landed by the dressing table.
She fastened a plastic bag around her ankle cast and hobbled into the shower.
The hot water splashed over her shoulders and mingled with her tears. Last
night had been so wonderful, so why, this morning, did she feel consumed with
guilt. Jon had popped his head briefly around her door before going off to
work. She could tell by the way he avoided her eyes that he was feeling guilty,
too. But there was no going back.

  
She wrapped a towel
around herself and removed the plastic bag. Her pale-faced reflection in the
dressing table mirror stared back at her. ‘Oh, Jess,
what
have you done?’ She bent to pick up the diary and stared at
the page. It hadn’t changed. It was still the same date. Her period was due in
exactly two weeks. Last night, in the throws of passion, she and Jon hadn’t
taken precautions. She needed to speak to him, tell him of her fears.
 

  
Grabbing her bathrobe,
she limped across the landing to her parents’ bedroom. Mum was at work and dad
had told her he was going grocery shopping after the school run. She picked up
the phone and dialled Flanagan and Grey’s number, hoping Jon would answer, but
it was Livvy. Jess asked to speak to him.

  
‘
Hi, Jess! Everything alright?
’

  
Her stomach fluttered at
the sound of his voice. ‘Hi, Jon. Err, not really. I need to tell you
something,’ she began, feeling more tears welling. ‘It’s important.’

  
‘
What’s wrong?
’

  
‘Last night,’ she said.
‘We didn’t use anything.’
 

  
‘
Well there was no need.’
He lowered his voice
. ‘You’re on the pill.’

  
‘Not anymore. I stopped
taking it when Nick died.’

  
‘
Fucking hell, Jess, I had no idea
.’

  
‘I didn’t think. I’m sorry. It’s bad timing, too. I’m right in the
middle of my cycle.’

  
‘
Shit! Well
worrying won’t
help. We’ll have to keep our fingers crossed.’

  
‘But what if I’m
pregnant, what will we do?’ she wailed, wanting reassurance.

  
‘
Don’t get upset. Listen, I can’t really talk right now; I’m not alone.
We’ll talk tonight when I get home, I promise.’

  
‘Jon, do you love me?’

  
‘
You know I love you.’
’ His voice was barely a whisper.

  
‘You didn’t say it this
morning.’

  
‘
I couldn’t
.
Mum and Katie
were on the landing.’

  
‘Oh, okay. I’ll see you
later then. I love you, too.’

***

Jon sighed and put his head in his hands. He knew he’d upset Jess
this morning by not speaking properly. Driving to work he’d felt bad about
that. He’d hardly slept a wink. He felt guilty, but not sorry that it had
happened. Shit though, what if he’d knocked her up? He turned to find Sean
standing behind him, eyebrows raised. Jon looked away and muttered, ‘Where’s
Livvy?’

  
‘I sent her for early
lunch. What’s going on?’

  
‘Nothing,’
 

  
‘I’ve known you since you
were three years old. I can guess when something’s bothering you. I also know
that was Jess on the phone. Livvy told me before she went out.’

  
Jon nodded.

  
‘Is she in some kind of
trouble?’

  
‘Of course not. What
makes you say that?’

  
‘I overheard you telling
her not to worry; you’d keep your fingers crossed. In my day it usually meant
one thing. Is Jess in the club?’