The Rocky Road to Romance

Dear Reader:

In a previous life, before the time of Plum, I wrote twelve short romance novels. Red-hot screwball comedies, each and every one of them. Nine of these stories were originally published by the Loveswept line between the years 1988 and 1992. All immediately went out-of-print and could be found only at used bookstores and yard sales.

I'm excited to tell you that those nine stories are now being re-released by HarperCollins.
Rocky Road
is at the top of the lineup, and it's presented here in almost original form. I've done only minor editing to correct some embarrassing bloopers missed the first time around.

Rocky Road
is the happy story of a guy who owns a radio station, a likeable overworked woman who does the traffic report, and a dog named Bob. They all fall in love, they outsmart some bad guys, and they eat a lot of dessert. Doesn't that sound like fun?

I was living in northern Virginia when I wrote
Rocky Road
and I pretty much set it in my backyard. I researched the story by visiting radio stations and riding the beltway in the WTOP traffic car with a multi-tasking lunatic who could drink coffee, drive, and give live traffic reports all at the same time.

I had a great time writing
Rocky Road
and I hope you enjoy reading it. And if you're a Plum fan take special note that this was the very first Bob Dog.

At 6:30
A.M.
, when Washington, D.C., was waking to another sweltering summer day, a Ledbetter Oil Company tank truck rolled off a ramp of the capital beltway, spilling five hundred gallons of highly flammable black gunk across four lanes of traffic. No one was injured, but the rush-hour commuters traveling the outer loop found themselves in hopeless gridlock surpassing even the normal snarl of morning traffic.

As operations manager of WZZZ, AM radio, Steve Crow didn't wish bad luck on anyone, but in his eyes, thanks to Ledbetter Oil Company, this had all the makings of a superior Monday. It was now nine-thirty in the morning, and Ledbetter's gunk was still being
sanded, shoveled, and scrubbed off the beltway, trapping half of Northern Virginia in transit. The nation's movers and shakers were sweating and swearing in their cars, and each and every one of them was tuned to WZZZ. WZZZ told the news, all the news, and nothing but the news—twenty-four hours a day. And while some detractors of AM radio felt the call letters prophetic, no one caught in Washington's daily commuter crunch could deny the pull of WZZZ's traffic report. Sooner or later, if you sat in traffic long enough, you tuned to WZZZ. During rush hours WZZZ kept a helicopter aloft, giving live traffic reports every fifteen minutes. The worse the traffic, the higher WZZZ climbed on the ratings charts—and today's traffic was gloriously terrible.

Steve Crow was celebrating with a jelly doughnut, chewing happily, watching in fatalistic resignation as powdered sugar sifted onto his navy slacks. When a glob of jelly plopped onto his striped power tie, he muttered an expletive and yanked at the knot.

His secretary stopped by his open office door and shook her head when she saw him. “You get
jelly doughnut on your tie again? How many does that make this month? Everybody knows you do it on purpose so you don't have to wear a tie, so why don't you just leave it at home?”

“Wouldn't look good. I'm a professional person.”

“You're a professional weirdo,” his secretary said. “Good thing for you you're so good at what you do.”

“Mmmm, and I'm cute, too,” Steve said.

“Cute? Let me tell you…puppies are cute, panties that say Tuesday are cute, and drinks that come with little paper umbrellas are cute. You are not cute. You are wickedly handsome.”

He grinned and washed the doughnut down with half a cup of coffee. “Give yourself a raise, Charlene. And get me this week's advertising schedule when you get a chance.”

“Work, work, work,” she said, then turned to march off to the copier. “I thought this was gonna be a glamour job. Get dressed up, meet some celebrities…”

Steve slouched in his chair and looked through the large glass window that separated him from his staff. He watched the anchor
move through his cue cards, manipulating his tape carts and controls in a glassed-in booth at the far side of the room. The editor and the assistant editor sat at their console outside the broadcast booth. Reporters worked at consoles lined against the inside wall. Everything was cranking along perfectly. Steve smiled in satisfaction, flipping the switch to pipe the broadcast into his office.

Frank Menken, the midday traffic reporter, had just been cued in. From nine to four, when the traffic job wasn't usually as critical, Menken took over the traffic car without the aid of a helicopter team. He drove a circular route around the city, relying on three scanners with a hundred bands apiece, a CB, a two-way radio, a car phone, and an AM radio equipped with an earplug. It was a grueling job that required being able to listen, talk, drive, and drink coffee, all at the same time.

“Traffic heavy on the G.W. Parkway due to construction,” Menken said, broadcasting as he drove. “We've got a minor delay on the approach to the Whitehurst Freeway. There's been a three-car collision, but police are on the
scene, and no one seems to be hurt. Prince George's County reports…”

There was a pause in Menken's rapid-fire recitation, then Menken suddenly launched into vigorous, unexpected swearing. Steve Crow jumped to his feet; the editor immediately cut Menken off the air, and the newsroom was filled with the crackle of static coming from Menken's two-way radio. Just one word made its way through the static.

“—Garbage!” Menken gasped, then all was silent.

Daisy Adams was an enterprising twenty-six-year-old graduate student. She'd written a cookbook called
Bones for Bowser,
and somehow, through sheer tenacity, she'd managed to turn a gimmick into a five-minute slot on WZZZ every Monday morning. She filled her airtime with dog stories and gave detailed directions on how to make homemade dog biscuits, dog soup, and dog stew. She'd become the darling of the morning DJs on the FM stations, who made her the brunt of their jokes, referring to her as the “Dog Lady of Snore,” hitting on a tender subject for Steve Crow and his unfortunate luck in call letters.

A few wisps of bangs straggled over her forehead, tortoiseshell combs held her blond
hair swept back from her temples, and big, loose curls tumbled in a luxuriant mass down the back of her head and neck to an inch below her shoulders. Her eyes were big and blue, her nose small, her mouth wide. She had a gamine quality to her face that was completely misleading because there wasn't an ounce of gamine in her personality. Her ex-boyfriend had compared her to Attila the Hun, but most people thought she was more like the human version of the Little Engine That Could.

At ten-fifteen Daisy swung into the newsroom. She waved hello to the anchor in the glass booth and gave the Capitol Hill correspondent a bag of experimental snacks for his beagle. She adjusted the strap on her oversized shoulder bag and dropped into a seat beside the editor. “What happened to Frank? I heard him giving the traffic report while I was driving in. He said a rude word and that was the last of him.”

“Rear-ended a garbage truck and got buried under half a ton of Dumpster droppings. He's okay except for a broken leg.”

Daisy pulled a five-by-seven card from her
pocketbook and glanced over a recipe for dog granola. “That's too bad. Who's doing traffic?”

“Nobody's doing traffic. Steve's offered double Frank's salary plus a year's supply of Girl Scout cookies, but nobody'll take it.”

Daisy felt her heart jump.
Double Frank's salary!
“I could do it,” she said. “I need the money.”

“You need money that bad?”

She bit her lower lip to keep herself under control. This was the chance of a lifetime. She had enormous school expenses, a big rent payment due, a live-in little brother who was eating her out of house and home, and a car that drank a quart of motor oil a week. She was determined to make it on her own. Besides her dog lady job, she worked as a school crossing guard, a cab driver, a waitress on the dinner shift at Roger's Steak House, and delivered newspapers. She'd written
Bones for Bowser
to give herself additional income, but she wasn't due a royalty check for three more months. If she took the traffic job, she could drop waitressing. Maybe she could even give up the newspaper
route. She was doing the dissertation for her doctorate, and she could work on it at night.

She swiveled in her seat and looked across the room at Steve Crow. She'd always been a little frightened of him. With his jet-black hair, dark, piercing eyes, and slightly aquiline nose, he was an intimidating figure. His complexion was dark, his shoulders broad, his hips narrow. The scuttle-but at the station said his father was pure-blood Native American; his mother was Hispanic.

Nervously, Daisy waved at him with just the tips of her fingers. He scowled back and immediately averted his eyes to some pressing piece of business on his desk. She sighed.
Stubborn,
she thought. She'd nagged him for a month before he gave her the five-minute Bowser spot. She wondered what she'd have to do to get the traffic job.

Nothing ventured nothing gained,
she told herself, pushing the hair out of her eyes. She might as well give it a try. “Excuse me,” she said, knocking on Crow's open door. “I'd like to talk to you about the job of traffic reporter. I'd like to apply for it…just until Frank's leg is better. I wouldn't want to steal his job. Even if I was
wonderful, which I'm sure I'll be, I still wouldn't expect you to keep me on. Actually, the timing is perfect because I'll get a royalty check in three months and then hopefully I won't need so many jobs.”

Steve looked beyond her, to his secretary eavesdropping through the glass window. He watched Charlene mouth the word “perfect” to him, watched her eyes fill with suppressed laughter. He lifted an eyebrow, and she scuttled away.

Perfectly awful,
he thought. Putting Daisy Adams in the WZZZ traffic car was like committing broadcasting suicide. The woman was cute, but her specialty was baking dog biscuits, for crying out loud. True, she received more fan mail than everyone else combined, but that was one of those freak things. She was entertaining. Kind of earnest and goofy all at the same time. Unfortunately, he had no other option. He'd gone through six traffic reporters in the past year trying to find a backup. At least she wouldn't be doing rush hour, he told himself. How bad could she be?

Without waiting for his reply, Daisy added,
“And don't worry about my
Bones for Bowser
spot. I can do it on the road!”

He managed a small smile. “Terrific.”

Ten minutes later they were in the Shulster Building parking garage.

“Wow!” Daisy said, looking at the station's auxiliary newscar. “It's got enough antennae to get Mars. This is going to be incredible. I think I'm going to like this.” She cracked her knuckles, looked up into Steve Crow's face, and felt a shiver run along her spine. She wasn't a shy sort of person, and she wasn't usually uncomfortable with men. She could tick off on one hand the things that truly made her nervous: the dentist, signing her name to her income tax statement, looking in her rearview mirror and seeing a police cruiser—and Steve Crow. Standing next to Steve Crow was like taking fifteen volts of electricity. He made her feel like her scalp was smoking.

Steve unlocked the car and opened the passenger-side door for Daisy. “I don't have any meetings until one o'clock, so I'll ride the loop with you. I'll do the talking and driving for the first hour, then you can take over.”

An hour alone in the newscar with Steve Crow? She'd die. Her heart would stop beating. “That's really not necessary. Not at all. I mean, I hate to take you away from whatever it is that you do. Probably you could just give me a few notes and a full tank of gas and send me on my way.”

“You look kind of flushed,” Steve said. “You sure you feel okay? You aren't sick, are you?”

“It's you. You make me nervous.”

“You mean because I'm your boss? Don't worry about it. Your
Bowser
spot is secure. Those people out there in radio land love you.”

“I know.”

“You do?”

“I get a lot of fan mail,” Daisy said. “And last week one of my fans said I should be on
Good Morning America.
”

“So what's the problem?”

“I don't know. Isn't that weird? You're just sort of scary. I think it might be something chemical.”

He was standing very close to her. Close enough to see the fine texture of her skin, close enough to see that her hair was silky and thick,
close enough to see the pulse beating erratically in her neck…close enough to be getting a trifle uncomfortable himself. But unlike Daisy, who seemed to be a little vague about her discomfort, he knew for certain exactly where his originated.

“Maybe we just got off on the wrong foot,” he said. “I have to admit, in the beginning I didn't see much value in the station running recipes for dogs.” In the beginning he hadn't noticed her big blue eyes—eyes the color of cornflowers. In the beginning he'd been a sane, rational human being. And what was he now? Now he was a man lusting after a woman who baked dog cookies. He wondered how that could have happened in such a short amount of time.

Daisy saw his gaze drop from her eyes to her mouth, and she felt her blood pressure inch up a notch. This was ridiculous, she thought. She'd allowed herself to become positively unglued over Steve Crow's high cheekbones and deep, dark eyes. She needed to put things back into perspective. She didn't even know him! She searched for an appropriate remark.
“I'm afraid I might have been pushy about getting airtime.”

“You were the most annoying, most persistent person ever to darken my door.”

“I was a woman with a cause.”

“That'll do it,” Steve said. “I hope you don't mind my asking, but I've always wondered if you made these dog recipes yourself. Do you stay up late making dog soup and bacon dog burgers?”

“I never gave a recipe for bacon dog burgers!”

“You know what I mean.”

“Some of it's serious. Americans lavish a great deal of time and money and affection on their pets. Sometimes I think it's because of the disappearance of the extended family. We're substituting dogs and cats and hamsters for aunts and uncles and grandparents. And when someone considers a pet as a member of the family, they start to become more concerned with its health and nutrition. I don't think there are many people out there slaving over my recipes for dog granola, but I think some of them pay attention to the advice I give about a balanced canine diet. And I think some of them
bake their own dog biscuits once in a while just because it's a fun project for kids. And I think lots of people are listening to me because I'm pop entertainment, I've become sort of a fad.”

So not only did she smell great, Steve thought, but she was perceptive, too. Why hadn't he noticed that sooner? He plunged his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “What about your motives? Do you have a dog? Do you feed him homemade liver soup?”

Daisy smiled. She was beginning to feel more comfortable around him. “My motives are terrible. I did it for money. I thought the book would be a novelty item and help me get through my last couple years of school.”

Her smile just about knocked him over. It was a wide, generous smile that tipped up at the corners of her mouth and warmed him. If his hands hadn't been stuffed into his pockets, he would have traced a fingertip along her lower lip. “What are you studying?”

She leaned against the car. “Psych. My specialty is geriatric psychology.”

She had a soft spot in her heart for dogs and
old people. Steve thought that was nice. He wondered how she felt about minorities. Probably, she loved minorities. He was a shoo-in, he decided. He'd buy a dog, introduce her to his grandparents, then show her his bedroom.

“We should get going,” she said. “Everyone's probably waiting for a traffic report.” She was eager to start her new job, and she was beginning to feel uncomfortable again. She preferred to have Steve Crow's disturbing brown eyes trained on something other than her. She edged her way past him and slunk down into the passenger seat.

“What are all these gizmos?” she asked, patting the dashboard.

Steve moved to the driver's side and slid behind the wheel, taking a fast survey of the equipment. “You have three scanners, a two-way radio, car phone…” He fiddled with the scanners. “It's been a lot of years since I've done a traffic report.”

“I didn't know you were a traffic reporter.”

He turned the key in the ignition and backed out of the parking space. “I've done just about everything there is to do in radio. I started as
an intern when I was still in high school, and over the years I've worked my way around the newsfloor.”

“Came up the hard way, huh?”

“Not exactly. My dad owned a radio station.”

“Oh.”

He paused for a minute on the off-ramp while he blinked in the sudden glare of the sun. “You sound disappointed.”

“No. Just surprised. I've never met anyone whose father owned a radio station.”

Steve shrugged. “The ancestral land turned out to have lots of oil. Several years ago my dad was told to diversify his holdings, and communication was an area that appealed to him.”

“Does he own WZZZ?”

“No. He owns a network in the Southwest. When I got out of college I decided I wanted to make my own success, so I stayed on the East Coast.”

Steve called in to the studio on the two-way radio to let the editor know he was on the road and would be broadcasting.

“Every fifteen minutes you get a sixty-second
spot,” he told Daisy. “You watch the clock on the dash and when you're coming up to newstime you use the headset to listen for your cue from the anchor.”

He clicked the scanners on and showed her how to use them to get the priority channels.

“We'll take Route 66 to the beltway, then head north. We want to avoid the oil spill on the outer loop. You
always
want to avoid traffic.”

He looked at the clock. It was eight minutes after eleven. He turned the volume down on the scanners and put the earplug in his ear.

“This is Steve Crow giving you the WZZZ traffic report,” he said into the two-way radio. “Hazmat teams are still on the scene of that oil spill on the Braddock Road off-ramp, but traffic is finally moving around it. Keep to the two left lanes—”

Daisy felt a jolt of fear hit her stomach. Steve was doing fifty, weaving in and out of traffic, broadcasting live, talking off the top of his head, cramming as much information as was possible into a sixty-second slot. Daisy stared at him openmouthed, wondering how he'd managed to make a newscast out of the
squawking coming off the scanners. And she was wondering how
she
was going to do it. She needed notes to relay a dog-food recipe! And if that wasn't problem enough, she was uncoordinated. She couldn't chew gum and drive at the same time. What was she thinking of?
Money,
she reminded herself—that's what she was thinking of. Pure unbridled greed had led her to the WZZZ traffic car.

Steve gave his name and call letters, removed the earphone, and put the two-way radio back into its cradle. “It's really not so bad,” he said. “A good memory helps, and you need to be able to talk fairly fast, giving continuous information.”