The Roof is on Fire (27 page)

“So, you never told me,” she said. “What do you think of this house? Can you see yourself staying here for three months with complete strangers?”

I sat back on my elbows and looked up at the cheap ceiling fan squeaking, as it turned in circles. “Maybe. Maybe not.”

“What would be your reason for not staying?”

I shrugged. “Don't know yet.”

“Are you always so short with people?”

She was irritating me. “Do you have a low credit score, and why are you asking me so many muthafucking questions?”

Chase's eyes looked as if they were going to tear away from their sockets. “My credit score is none of your business. I'm only trying to make conversation, but I get a feeling that you don't wish to be bothered. Whenever you feel up to a one-on-one, I'm sure you'll be able to find me.”

She slightly cut her eyes at me and worked her hips from side to side, as she left the room. She was too sassy, too nosey, too broke, and something in her eyes said trouble. Strike three for her. I preferred to keep my distance.

I stood to stretch and massaged my forehead, trying to relieve the stress. My kids were on my mind, but I honestly needed a break from them as well. I would surely miss them, but it was a wise choice for me to see how everyone back at home would manage without me. With that in mind, I dialed Shane's number, but not before I switched Jada's and Chase's nametags. I hoped to have better luck with Jada.

“I knew you wouldn't be able to do it,” Shane said, laughing. “You want me to come pick you up, right?”

“Nope. I want you to bring me my shit. Leave my luggage at the end of the driveway and I'll pick it up from there. I'll get disqualified from the competition if anyone I know is on the premises.”

“No problem, but I can't even imagine what it is that you're about to do. I do not believe that you'll make it past one week.”

I loved proving Shane wrong. “How much money you got?”

“Plenty.”

“Yeah, thanks to me. Therefore, I bet you a quarter of a million dollars that I can and will stay here for the next three months. You down with that bet or not?”

“Three months? With no pussy? Hell, yeah, I'm down with it. More like three days, and best friend or not, I expect for you to pay up.”

“Who says I will be without pussy? No matter what, though, my hand will work out just fine. Now, bring me my shit and I'll get at you in three months.”

Shane laughed and hung up on me. He gave me the ammunition I
needed to go through with this. From this moment on, I was down with whatever swung my way.

I left the bedroom, now looking at the brighter side of this. But as soon as I walked out, Chase was there to greet me.

“Here,” she said, giving me a check. “I assume that your attitude stinks because you're out of three-hundred bucks for paying the taxi driver. I hate to do this, but I have a feeling that if I don't give your money back, you're going to make these three months miserable for me.”

I took the check from her and looked at it. It was only for two hundred and fifty dollars; she had come up short. Trying to get over was the name of her game, but she had me fucked up. Her address showed that she lived in an area in St. Louis that I was very familiar with. I'll just say the area wasn't anything to brag about.

“I can't accept a check that may bounce in my hand before it reaches the bank. This one has a negative balance, and because of your credibility, I have to reject it.”

I ripped the check in several pieces and let the paper fall to the floor. Chase stood with her jaw dropped. “So, that's how you're doing it, huh? I mean, who are you? Where did you come from and how dare you talk to me like that?”

“If you don't like what I have to say, don't confront me with no bullshit again. Just because I paid the taxi driver, it doesn't mean that I took your side. Personally, I think you tried to fuck that man over, but that's just my opinion.”

Chase folded her arms across her chest. Much attitude was on display and it was funny to watch her lose control like this. “I would tell you what you can do with your opinion, but you already know, don't you?”

I rubbed my goatee and licked across my lips. “No, I don't know. You seem like a woman who has no problem speaking her mind, so why don't you tell me?”

She threw her hands in the air. “You know what, forget it. I'm not going to waste my time with an arrogant fool like you, and as far as I'm concerned, the taxi incident is a done deal. If you were foolish enough to pay the taxi driver, that was your loss, not mine. I won't try to repay you again, and please don't ask me for your money back.”

“I promise I won't. Now, are you done? Is it okay for me to get settled in, now that you got all of that off your chest?”

“If I had any say-so about it, you wouldn't even be allowed to come in here with that attitude. But since I don't, welcome, Mr. Rogers. I hope you somehow manage to knock that chip off your shoulder and have a good time.”

“I'm looking forward to it. Hope you are too.”

As she choked on her next reply, I stepped around her and walked smoothly toward the door to catch Shane with my luggage. On my way there, I spotted Roc parlaying on the sectional couch with his feet propped on the table. His hands were behind his head and he was watching ESPN. Something about him irked me. Having his feet on the table, as if this were his damn house was tacky.

The overall objective to Hell House was to be the last one standing. I already knew I would be, but I had to skillfully plan this out and get to know how the others operated. Chase had already shown her weakness, so getting her out of here would be easy. It was time to see what was up with Roc.

I made my way down the steps and into the sunken living room. Roc saw me, but pretended as if he didn't. He kept his eyes focused on the TV, but I knew better. That was how I got down, especially when I wanted to make someone think they weren't important. Fucking with him, I reached for one of the magazines underneath his feet on the table.

“Do you mind moving your feet so I can get this?” I said.

Roc continued to look straight ahead. His feet did not move, but his mouth did. “Pull on it.”

“Might rip it.”

“Your problem, not mine.”

“Wrong answer. It's gon' be your problem, if you don't lift your feet off the magazine I want to read.”

Roc jumped to his feet and stood several inches away from me. His face was scrunched and madness was upon him. “What's up with you,
nigga?
And who the fuck you talkin' to like that? You need to holla at me like you got some sense. I ain't none of those good-old boys you be hangin' with at the country club, so watch yourself, potnah.”

The ghetto made a lot of fools feel as if they were tough and invincible. Obviously, Roc was a product of that environment, but little did he know, so was I. This suit I had on was misleading, and when the time came for me to really get down with this idiot, I would have no problem doing it. For now, I had to accept the country-club membership that he had given me. But before I could say anything, Chase came into the room and stood next to Roc. She looked up at him.

“Chill, all right? He's not worth it, and the last thing I want is for you to get kicked out of here. I'm looking forward to having fun; fun that I thought you were interested in having. Right?”

Roc kept his eyes on me, but he backed up to the couch to sit down. Chase sat next to him, leaving very little breathing room in between them. I smiled to myself, knowing that pushing his buttons would be easy. Ole punk-ass nigga let a manipulative woman take his mind off the ass kicking I was
supposed
to get. That spoke volumes—he was weak.

I snatched the magazine off the table and glanced at the two of them cuddling on the couch. I cleared my throat to get their attention. “Listen. My bad for causing so much confusion, but I must confess that y'all make a real nice couple. Seem to have a lot in common and who knows? Things may work out for the two of you. Good luck with that sista, Roc. Chase seems like a real winner.”

I winked and walked away.

“Hey, Jaylin,” Chase said, halting my steps. I turned around, only to see her backside. She slapped her hand on her ass, shaking a chunk of it as she gripped it. “Kiss. My. Whole, entire ass, okay?”

For the first time, I smiled. “I would, but I can't get to it because your skirt is in the way.”

To no surprise, Chase pulled up her skirt and I'll be damned if she didn't show her pretty ass. It was as pretty and round as I had imagined it to be. And anyone who knew me, they knew I was a man of my word and I loved to be
Naughty
. I walked over to her and bent down. Soaked my lips with my tongue and placed a delicate kiss on her right ass cheek. She blushed when I stood up, but I turned my attention to Roc, who sat on the couch with shock in his eyes.

“Get control of your girl,” I said to him. “I think she likes me.”

“Man, get on out of here with that shit. And like I said, that sounds like a problem for you, not me. Handle it.”

No doubt, I would. I strutted away, but heard Chase say, “Screw you, Jaylin. You're not all that, you know?”

Yes, I was. And by now, she knew it.

My life had been going downhill since I let my ex-boyfriend, Kiley, get away. But I had to keep it moving. Therefore, when I was contacted about doing this challenge, I was all for it. I needed some excitement in my life. I got tired of sitting around all day arguing with folks on the phone over stupid stuff that didn't even matter. My girlfriends were all haters and all they wanted to do was go to the casino, get wasted at the clubs and eat. I was up to two hundred and thirty pounds now, but no one could deny how cute I was. Not even the man in my life. He wasn't about nothing but selling dope and trying to play hard. He somewhat reminded me of Kiley, but I was a fool if I ever thought I'd find a man to replace him. That man was so good to me and it was funny how I didn't realize all of that until after we had broken up.

My girlfriend, Portia, dropped me off in front of the Hell House, but it didn't look like a Hell House to me. I couldn't wait to get inside to see what was up, so I hurried to remove my bags from the trunk. Portia helped and then she gave me a hug.

“Be safe and write me if you can,” she said. “You did say y'all can't have no phones, right?”

“That was one of the stupid rules, but I'mma do my best to keep mine on me. If I can't, then I'll write to let you know what's goin' on.”

“You do that, boo, and don't hurt nobody up in there.”

“I'll try not to, but you do know your friend.”

We laughed.

Portia gave me another hug before she got into the car and drove off. I noticed several pieces of Kenneth Cole luggage at the end of the
driveway, and I wondered whom they belonged to. Since I had two heavy bags full of stuff, I made my way up the long driveway and to the front door. By the time I got to it, I was out of breath. My jeans were so tight, they made my muffin top boil over my belt. My Black Girls Rock T-shirt was stretched across my 44 Double D's and the tennis shoes I wore had my toes crammed. It was so hot outside that my sandy-brown Afro was pulled away from my face, allowing the fullness of it to show. I never wore much makeup, only because my entire look was natural and I didn't need it.

I dropped my bags and reached out to knock on the door. What seemed to be seconds later, the door came open. Standing in the doorway was one of the most nice-looking brothers I had ever laid my eyes on. Actually, he was too cute and his cologne was intoxicating. Looked like he could easily be on the down low, and his tan had his body as caramelized as mine. I always made it my business to steer clear of men that I felt looked better than me and he did. His piercing gray eyes scanned me over, then he shot outside without saying one word.

“Excuse you,” I said as he bumped my shoulder. “Damn.”

I watched as he walked down the driveway to get his luggage. Making sure that he didn't bump me again, I picked up my bags and carried them into the house. It was beautiful inside, and I was in awe, thinking,
How Can I Be Down?
I kept it moving down the hallway and into a living room area where I saw a snooty-looking bitch sitting close to dark-and-damn-sure-lovely. Now, this dude was definitely my type, and my love for 50 Cent had finally come to an abrupt end. I didn't appreciate how close glamour girl was sitting next to him, so I played it cool.

“Hello,” I said, sucking in my stomach and pulling down my shirt to make sure that it covered the wideness of my curvy hips. I was happy about my full figure, no doubt, but I wasn't sure if brotha-man appreciated healthy women. Maybe not, since the skinny woman next to him seemed to have his attention. So much so, that when I spoke, he only tossed his head back.

“Hi,” the woman next to him said, wiggling her fingers and displaying a fake smile.