The Rookie (Racing On The Edge #7) (31 page)

I felt like my knees would have buckled at how good that felt, how badly I needed that.

His pace quickened when I moaned into his ear, shaking around him frantically clawing at his shoulders to keep him near me. My heart beat against his, thumbing wildly in my ears.

He made just two more movements before I felt his body tense, his back tight, fingers digging into my ass as he drove into me once more.

“You have no fucking idea how sexy you are.” He breathed, slumping against me. His hands and arms were still shaking as he tried to control his breathing and actually move.

When he did, he gently picked me up and carried me over to the couch where he laid down and pulled me against him. We didn’t even bother putting our clothes on…it just felt good to be skin to skin. Tracing lazy circles on my back, Easton and I fell asleep this way. A comfort that I didn’t realize I’d needed and wanted overtook me that night.

I heard him leave around three in the morning and I knew he had hours to get back to Chicagoland Speedway. The fact that he flew all the way here, for me, on my birthday meant something pretty special to me.

What I did find was a letter on the counter next to my phone that made me realize that just because I was feeling one way, didn’t mean he wasn’t either.

I felt the pressure from the very beginning. I knew I was in over my head but I couldn’t walk away. I couldn’t not do it. I knew what I was risking too. I saw it in your eyes when I told you. I’m to blame for this but I didn’t want to admit it. I hope that you can forgive me.

Love - E

Searching – To gain speed on the track a driver will search for the fastest line that works with his particular set-up. You’ll notice a driver searching when they go high, and then low the next lap.

Weeks passed by and I didn’t leave Mooresville once I returned. I didn’t go back to my house, nor did Easton and I talk since that night in Elma.

I had no idea what would happen five years from now or even five minutes but I knew I needed to give Easton a chance. I wasn’t fair to him. I freaked out and left and never considered what that did to him.

Easton was my friend before we were ever involved and regardless of how confused I was, I wanted to be there for him those last few races. I needed to be. He need me and I think in a lot of ways, I needed him too.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to believe Easton. I did. He was my husband and regardless of what Olivia told everyone, I loved him.

The thing was, no matter how I felt about Rager, it didn’t change the fact that I made a vow to Easton, someone I loved very much.

So I made the decision to head to Easton’s last race of the season at Homestead. It was the race that would decide if he won the triple duty or not. Going into Homestead with him, Asher and Brody were only separated by twelve points.

No sooner had I walked into the drivers’ compound and Lexi spotted me as she stood outside Brody’s motor coach staring at her phone.

“Hey…” I said bumping into her.

At first she ignored me and then she realized who I was. “Oh my God, you’re back!”

“I am.” I tried to sound just as excited but there was no matching Alexis Riley’s enthusiasm.

“And I’m pregnant!” She blurted out, as if the words hurt her physically to keep inside.

“Are you shitting me?”

“Nope.” She laughed rubbing her stomach as if she was nine months pregnant. Clearly she wasn’t even showing. “I haven’t shit in like a week.”

“When did you find out?”

Lexi shrugged. “Two weeks ago.”

“And you didn’t tell me.”

“Brody wanted to wait but I couldn’t keep it any longer. He doesn’t want me to tell my dad.”

I let out a little laugh looking around the drivers’ compound. It was about an hour before the race which left it pretty bare. Most everyone was trackside. “I can’t say I blame him.”

“Spencer is harmless compared to your dad.”

I rolled my eyes as we started walking toward the pits, her arm around my shoulders. “He hates it when you call him Spencer.”

“Yeah, well I hate not being able to go poop. My stomach hurts.”

“I’m serious, I really missed you.” She said, hugging me to her side.

“I did too.”

As my luck would have it, the first person I ran into besides Lexi was Shaylee. Apparently she was still dating Brody’s tire changer.

I’ve never trusted Shaylee just based on the experience Axel had with her and the shit she pulled with him. And Olivia, yeah, that went without saying. She was obsessed with Casten and would do anything to get what she wanted there. I’m surprised she never messed with Hayden but not many people did. I’m pretty sure she’d murder anyone who tried.

With these girls, Olivia and Shaylee, if they thought they could get something out of our family, they’d go for it. Olivia was just a nasty person anyway. I don’t mean that by looks either. She’s a nasty soul, tainted.

“Easton didn’t sleep with us.” Were the first words out of her mouth.

Part of me knew that. But I wanted to hear what she had to say.

Lexi glared at her. “You should have said that to her back in May.”

“I know that. I’m sorry. We waited until he was shit-faced and then went back to his motor coach and let ourselves in knowing you would find us there.”

“Why?” Lexi was doing most of the talking. I never had to do much when she was around. It was kind of nice.

“I was pissed at you for Rager.”

“Rager?” I asked, stunned by that response. I was lost at that point and she knew it. As she started to speak, it made sense.

“He won’t move on from you.” Her voice was timid. “I’ve tried to get him to.”

“So you thought you’d destroy my perfect life?” My words were sarcastic, just as they were meant to be.

“Yeah.” You could tell immediately she knew how stupid that response was.

I laughed. “I got news for you. My life is far from perfect.” I kind of lost it at that point. “You guys think my life is fucking perfect and yeah, I have a life that people only dream of but there’s a side you’ll never see, and probably don’t want to.”

“I’m sorry.” Shaylee’s eyes dropped from mine. “I don’t know what to say to you.”

“Just stay out of my life. That’s what I want you to do. And stay away from my husband. Stay away from my brothers, and stay away from Rager. You don’t deserve someone like him.”

I didn’t have time to waste with Shaylee.

Lexi looked at me with wide eyes and then motioned toward Easton’s hauler where I knew he was. I moved as quickly as I could wanting to make it before he left for the pre-race activities. I got to the door and paused, drawing in a deep breath before opening the door.

When he saw me open that door and smile, you could literally see the relief wash over him. I think there was a big part of him that thought when he left Elma, he might not see me again until the season was over.

“Arie?”

I smiled and stepped towards him. He reached for me, his hands hesitant.

Kyle cleared his throat. “I’ll give you two a minute.” He looked over his shoulder at Ben. “Let’s go see about those notes.”

“What notes?”

Kyle slapped the side of Ben’s head. “Boy, don’t question me. Notes. We have notes to look at it.”

Poor Ben was clueless. “Right…notes.”

As I watched Easton, there was some hesitation in his eyes as he watched me, unsure what this was between us now.

Had we lost it completely?

I don’t think we did. We just had to find the
us
that we once were. Together we’d find the
us
and with the season drawing to a close, there’d be a lot more time to find the parts of us that had been missing, had gotten lost, or just simply needed a little more attention.

“Can we go away together?” I was about to say something when he shook his head, “I don’t care where or when, just that it’s only me and you.”

I nodded, my tears stinging my eyes. “I would like that.”

He smiled but it was weak. The pressure of the day and what we had been through was weighing him down so much. His hand raised cupping his palm against my cheek, his thumb brushing over my cheek. “I promise I’ll show you how much you mean to me.”

Jessie stuck her head inside, a nervous presence in her eyes thinking Easton would be mad she intruded. “You need to get out there.”

She wasn’t trying to pressure us, but he did have obligations.

Easton then turned to me. “Please stay. Don’t leave.”

I wasn’t going anywhere and he knew it when he looked at me.

“I’m not going anywhere. I love you…” I told him wrapping my arms around him.

He smiled, a sense of contentment washing over his face. He knew I’d still be here when he was done, I wasn’t running this time.

Loose In – When a car enters the turn, and it’s loose, the back end of the car will want to fishtail.

I’m not that girl who needs to talk about every single little detail until we’re so blue in the face we forgot why we started the conversation in the first place. Easton is exactly the opposite. That just goes back to his thing about numbers. He analyzes everything.

What surprised me was when I went to Homestead to see that final race, not a lot was said because of the day.

It was the next morning on the flight back to Charlotte when we finally spoke and I understood him a little more, saw where he was coming from. “You look different.” Easton noted squinting into the early morning sun streaming through the small window to the right. He brought his coffee to his lips and smiled around the cup when my eyes found his.

“I feel different.” I relaxed across from him, my bare feet resting between his legs on his seat. His other hand that wasn’t on his cup was laid on my calf, gentle touches caressing me.

“Are you staying when we get back?”

“Yes…” I wondered why he wouldn’t think I would but given the last few months, it was natural for him to question me.

We were both quiet for around a half hour when he said, “I’ve known you loved Rager from the beginning.”

I gave him a look, surprised he said that but knowing damn well it was the truth.

“Your eyes light up when you see him.” He gave a regretful shake to his head as though he understood it, but it hurt to see. “Every time.”

“He’s a friend, E.”

Easton sighed and moved his gaze from the window to me. “Be honest with me. He’s more than a friend to you. I saw the pictures on your phone of you two.”

“When?” I wasn’t sure how to take that. Had he been snooping on my phone looking for evidence?

“The morning I left Elma. I had used your phone for an alarm since mine was dead. I wasn’t trying to snoop but I’ll admit, it hurt to see them.

I didn’t say anything for a long moment. “He’s more, isn’t he?”

I didn’t want to answer that question. I didn’t because I had yet to admit that to myself. But then I couldn’t deny it anymore. There was no sense. If I couldn’t be honest with Easton about my feelings for Rager, I had no business trying to work this out with him.

“He is.”

“I don’t want to be a second choice. As long as you give us, and me a chance, a real chance, I’m okay with that. I wouldn’t blame you for leaving. I wouldn’t even before that night in Charlotte…but I don’t want you to leave. I love you.”