The Rules of Ever After (12 page)

“Yes,” Phillip mumbled as he studied the painting. “She seems very familiar. She reminds me of… oh, no.”

“Well, the barkeep was more than happy to provide two rooms for his future king and a few royals,” Daniel said and dropped into the chair on the other side of Phillip. “All it cost was a few too many gold pieces and a promise that we would each pose with him for sketches to hang behind his bar.”

“Daniel, we need to leave,” Phillip whispered into the other man’s ear.

“No.” Daniel shook his head and laughed, “we just got here, and I just overpaid for rooms and food.”

“We aren’t leaving, are we?” Gwen gasped and opened her eyes wide. “I really want to see this singer!”

“Please,” Phillip begged, “I need us to leave right now.”

“Leaving?” Peter said. “I’m not going anywhere until I get some food and ale. I’m in no hurry to get back on that horse with her highness, here.” He pointed his finger at Gwen, who stuck her tongue out at him.

“Relax,” Daniel said, as he clapped Phillip on the shoulder. “I know you’re in a hurry to help your father, but we need our rest. We can’t fight a battle when we’re tired and hungry.”

“No. It’s not that. It’s the singer. She—”

Phillip was interrupted by a roar from the crowd. He looked up to see a short man in pink and green jester’s motley step through the curtain.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” the man yelled, as he danced from one foot to the other. The bells on his hat jingled with each bounce, and he grinned broadly at the crowd. “And from what I see, that term applies to some of you more than others!” The crowd cheered and laughed, as Phillip sank farther down into his chair. “It appears some of you paid a
princely
sum to be here tonight!”

“Please. Let’s go.”

“Shh,” Gwen chastised him. “The show is starting. It would be rude to leave.”

“But enough about the crowd! Let’s bring on that lovely Oster­ling maiden you all came to see!”

The crowd cheered again and several of the men whistled and stamped their feet.

“I give you… the fallen princess!”

“Oh, by Godrick the Golden…” Phillip mumbled and dropped his head into his hands.

“The Queen of the Night! Lady Moon!”

Grabbing the edge of the curtain, the little man ran to one side of the stage, pulling the curtain open behind him. Phillip raised his head and spread his fingers slightly to peek between them. The stage was bare except for a scarecrow standing in the center wearing a light blue tunic with Phillip’s family sigil, the seahorse, painted on its breast. Its head was a burlap sack daubed with blue eyes and a large frown, and on top sat a wooden crown colored a faint yellow.

“Is that supposed to be you?” James turned to Phillip. “Do you know this woman?”

A flourish of horns played from behind the stage and the crowd began to cheer even louder.

“Unfortunately, yes.”

As the music began a jaunty bounce, Lady Moon stepped out onto the stage in a deep blue velvet dress that was cut low on her chest and flowed full around her hips. As she approached the scarecrow, her dark black hair glistened under the flickering light of the candles along the front of the stage and bobbed around her shoulders as she danced to the music’s rhythm. As the music swelled to a high note, she stopped in front of the scarecrow prince and gathered her flowing skirts in her hands. With a flourish, she dropped into a deep curtsy, glanced at the crowd and gave a long wink. Rising from the floor, she rested one of her hands on the scarecrow’s chest and batted her eyes. “Ha!” she spat out and pushed the scarecrow over onto the floor. Putting her hands on her hips, she began to sing:

When I came on the scene, they said I’d be queen

But have you heard what’s happened since?

I failed his little test, and, well, you know the rest

All because of that darn
little prince!

Now I’m blue! Royal blue.

Up all night. Won’t sleep anytime soon.

So blue! Royal blue.

Up all night. I’m now Lady Moon.

So, Princess Monique, you’ve lost your mystique.

No more of life high on the hog.

He’s a seahorse? Well I know, of course,

He’s really a stable yard dog!

I’m just blue. Royal blue.

Can any princess ever pass?

So blue. Royal blue.

Little prince you can just kiss my…

“Enough!” Phillip yelled. He stood and turned away from the stage. As he began to run toward the door, he tripped over the feet of a man at the table behind him and fell on his hands and knees on the dirt floor. The music stopped, and a gasp spread through the room.

“Phillip!” Daniel cried out and leaped up to help the fallen prince. “Are you hurt?”

Shoving Daniel’s hand aside, Phillip stood and brushed the dirt from the front of his tunic. With tears stinging his eyes, he looked into Daniel’s face and sighed. “Not from the fall. I told you we needed to leave.” Turning again to the door, he stormed past the silent crowd and into the cool night air.

“Prince Phillip! Over here!” a little man with wiry hair and a large nose screamed from the crowd outside, as Phillip rushed by him. “How was the show? Come on! One little sketch so I can feed my family!”

“Leave me alone or I will take that parchment and shove it up your—” Phillip was interrupted by a hand landing on his shoulder and turning him around.

“Now, now, young man,” Monique said with cluck of her tongue. “I’m the only one around here who gets to use that word.” She smiled at Phillip and slid her hand down his arm from his shoulder to his hand. “Come back inside. You and I need to have a little chat.”

“Monique. I’m sorry. I just—”

“Not here,” she said quietly while pulling Phillip toward the tavern door. “There are too many little vermin with ears to hear.” Turning to the sketcherazzi, who were scribbling away beside them, she raised her voice and said, “Shoo! Go back under whatever rock you crawled out from.”

Monique yanked Phillip through a small door to the right of the entrance. He stepped into a room that was not much bigger than a storage closet. A small table was covered with pots of face paint and hairbrushes, and a large, gilded mirror sat in the corner next to a rack stuffed with a rainbow of ruffled and embroidered gowns. Several wigs in various hues hung on hooks alongside the mirror, and a small stool was knocked over in front of the table. Monique shoved Phillip onto an overstuffed chaise on the other side of the room.

“My dressing room.” She waved her hands. “It’s no palace, but at least it’s private.”

“Monique, I really don’t know what to say.” Phillip tugged at the hem of his doublet and avoided making eye contact with the singer. “Please, just let me get my friends and leave.”

“Little man, I just walked off the stage in the middle of a song for you. Lady Moon does not stop in the middle of a song.” She put her hands on her hips and glared at Phillip. “If you walk into that room, you’re going to face a
very
angry crowd of people who either want me to sing or want their money back. And I am not singing until you listen to what I have to say.”

“I know,” Phillip mumbled and his shoulders dropped. “I ruined your reputation. You can’t go home and now you’ve been reduced to singing in a tavern.”

“Reduced?” Monique gasped. “Sweetheart, I am a
star
.

“Yes. But you were a princess. You could’ve been a queen. You must hate me.”

“Phillip, I don’t hate you.”

“But—”

“Sugar, I’m doing just what
I
want to do.” Monique poked herself in the chest with her finger. “No rules. No expectations. I’m free.”

“Yes, but you could’ve had anything you wanted.”

“And maybe singing in this tavern is it! Honey, don’t let those storytellers fool you. The princess life isn’t all it’s hyped up to be.” Monique righted the stool and sat down on it. She turned to the mirror and inspected her reflection before grabbing a brush from one of the pots and applying red color to her lips. Glancing at Phillip in the mirror, she explained, “Sure, your parents are royalty and your bankroll is endless. But, by Gingerfair’s garters, your only friends are forest animals or dwarves, neither of which are any good at conversation. Your stepsisters are wicked and, oooh, all those witches. Every time you turn around, some jealous hag is putting a curse on you or giving you toxic fruit. Glass coffins and glass slippers? No, thank you.” She punctuated the sentence by stabbing at the air with the paintbrush.

“But if it weren’t for me you could have found—”

“What? Another prince?” Monique spun on the stool and smiled at Phillip. “Oh, please. Who wants to sit around waiting for a man who may never come? And so what if he does show up? Shining armor rusts, and white horses are just albino black ones. I’m doing perfectly fine with that man behind the bar.”

“But what about happily—”

“Sugar, I found it. And I didn’t need some silly crown.”

“But what about that song you were singing?”

“Sweetums,” she cooed, “that is just part of the act. What I really want to say to you is ‘thank you.’”

“Thank
me
?”

“Yes. For the first time in my life, people love me for what I do and not who my parents are.”

“Honest?”

“Honest.” She turned and checked her reflection one last time, “Now, let’s get back out there before that crowd starts a riot. When you talked to me in that ridiculous bed, didn’t you tell me your mother taught you to sing?”

“Yes. She adored music. She would’ve liked you a lot.”

“Then come up on stage with me. Do you know “True Love Someday Will Be”?”

“Of course, but is it appropriate for the future king to be singing in a tavern?”

“Who cares? When you’re king you can turn your whole castle into a tavern if you wish. I’ll come sing for you any time you want.” Monique walked to the door before turning around and offering her hand to Phillip. “Now, come show that crowd who you really are, and sing with me.”

“Ok. Fine.” Phillip shrugged as he rose and took her hand. “But you have to do the harmony.”

“Whatever you say,” Monique drawled, “Your Highness.”

“E
asy, girl,” Daniel murmured to his horse and
clicked his tongue. He looked out at the vast golden fields swaying in the afternoon breeze on both sides of the road ahead. Since he had grown up in the thick overgrowth of the Sylvanian woods, the sheer openness of Grand Dealonia made Daniel’s stomach uneasy as he searched the horizon for a single tree. All he could see was dancing leaves of corn and stalks of wheat that flowed all the way up to the walls of a glimmering white castle at the end of the road. He knew Dealonians provided the produce and grains for all of Clarameer, but he had never imagined this much of anything growing for as far as the eye could see.
Oh, Ems, how do you stand all this emptiness? Where on earth do you hide here?
He mused until his thoughts were interrupted by the noisy, off-key singing of his companions.

“Second verse!” Peter hooted into the clear blue skies. He swung his arms about in front of Gwen’s shoulders as he directed an imaginary orchestra. “This time even louder! These fields are full of corn, so there are thousands of ears that need to hear us!”

“Must we?” Daniel begged as he turned to look over his shoulder at James and Phillip ambling along. “I appreciate a good traveling tune as much as the next guy, but can’t you think of something else to sing?”

“Sorry, Highness,” James said, as he trotted past Daniel to pull up alongside Peter and Gwen, “it’s just a wickedly catchy little tune.”

“
Royal blue
!” Peter sang at the top of his lungs and he threw his head back. “
I’m royal blue
.”

“Ow! Peter,” Gwen laughed as she put her hands over her ears and scrunched up her shoulders. “At least try to get the tune right! It’s ‘
Blue!
’” she sang. “Up here. Not down low like that. Try again.”

“
I’m blue!”
Peter bellowed, as James joined in. The three of them laughed again as they moved farther up the road toward the castle looming ahead.

Daniel rolled his eyes and waited until Phillip’s horse drew up. He was surprised to see Phillip smiling at the singers. “I tried to get them to stop.”

“It’s fine,” Phillip shrugged. “I’m dragging them all over the kingdoms on what may be a fool’s errand. Let them have their fun. It
is
a catchy tune. ‘
Royal Blue
!’” Phillip sang softly, then turned to Daniel and grinned broadly.

“Well, there he is,” Daniel grinned back.

“Who?” Phillip asked, knitting his brow.

“The handsome, smiling man I saw when I opened my eyes in that ridiculous bed. I was a little worried he’d gone away forever.”

Phillip blushed and abruptly shifted his gaze back to the road ahead. The smile quickly disappeared, and Phillip dropped his chin to stare at the reins in his hands. Daniel looked away and grimaced, regretting instantly that he had reminded Phillip of the events in the testing room. He wasn’t sure what had transpired the previous night in Lady Moon’s dressing room, but Phillip had been much calmer since then. Phillip had even climbed on stage to lead the tavern in a rousing song. Daniel hoped he could keep Phillip’s mind off his troubles, but he was failing.

“I’m sorry, Phillip. I shouldn’t have brought up the bed. I know it reminds you of…”

“My father? No. I never stop thinking of my father. How could I?” Phillip flipped the reins and started the horse down the road again. “No. It’s the bed. We’re about to see King Robert of Grand Dealonia. He may be… um… less than happy to see me.”

“Because Gwen is his cousin? At least you’ve rescued her and brought her back to the kingdom.”

“Well, not just Gwen. Robert’s little sister, Dinah, was sent to marry me, too. She was in the bed and…”

“Let me guess. Didn’t pass?”

“Slept like a log.” Phillip shook his head and frowned. “I thought we’d never wake her up. When we finally got her awake, and my stepmother told her she had failed the test, she was livid. She screamed and yelled and threw a shoe at me. A shoe!”

Daniel laughed and then quickly stifled it with his hand. “Sorry, but I’m just imagining you ducking the flying footwear!”

“It’s not funny. I thought she might try to kill me! Oh no! What if she is at the castle?”

“We’ll just insist she meet you barefoot,” Daniel laughed louder. “Come on, Phillip, it’s kind of funny.” Daniel watched as a smile began to creep across Phillip’s face. “But I do have one question. We’ve got Monique, Gwen and now Dinah, right? Exactly how many murderous princesses are we in danger of running into on this trek?”

“Um… Seven? No, Six?” Phillip shifted his eyes up in thought and began counting silently on his fingers. “Six if you count Kat­erina, but I guess she never got the chance to take the test. I kind of lost count. Nobody ever made it all night without sleeping. Until you. You’re lucky number seven! It’s a good thing your sister married King Robert before I had the chance to ruin her reputation too.”

“You’d have been lucky to marry Emmaline. She’s my favorite woman in all of Clarameer.” Daniel grinned at Phillip while he thought of his sister. “Between James and Emmaline, I was never lonely. When we played hide-and-seek in the castle, I could never find her. She was always the best at hiding. She would run out of a hiding spot and grab me in a big hug and swing me around until I almost died from laughing.”

“Sounds wonderful.” Phillip stared wistfully at the few small houses and the large castle on the horizon. “I always wished I had a brother or a sister. Peter was as close as I got, but then he was banished. It was always kind of lonely.”

Daniel could see the loneliness that Phillip had endured in the sudden weary droop of his shoulders. Hoping to move Phillip’s thoughts back to happier things, Daniel continued. “Sometimes, I think she is the only reason Andrew and I made it to being adults without killing each other. When we were little and Andy was being especially mean to James and me, she would punch him in the nose! Mother had forbidden us boys to hurt Emmaline, so there was nothing Andrew could do! Then she would use her little lace handkerchief to dry my tears and sneak me into the kitchen for a treat. She’s also beautiful, if I say so myself.”

“Long, curly black hair?” Phillip asked. “Looks a bit like you, only shorter?”

“Yes. How did you know that?” Daniel followed Phillip’s point­ing finger down the road until he saw his sister standing at the end of the castle’s drawbridge waving a bright yellow scarf over her head.

“Emmaline!” Daniel shouted. He kicked his horse and raced past the other travelers. As he drew close to his sister, Daniel jumped down and ran into her open arms. Wrapping his arms tight around her chest, he picked her up and spun her around. “Oh, Ems! It’s so good to see you!”

“Daniel, put me down. A woman in my condition shouldn’t be spun around like that!”

“Your condition? Oh, Ems! Are you?”

Emmaline nodded her head in assent and placed her hands lovingly on her stomach. “But don’t tell anyone! We’re trying to keep it out of the
Kingdom Inquisitor
as long as we can, so that I can have some peace. Speaking of which, you and James have been making a little front page news lately.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. Well, you and that man.” Emmaline scowled as she pointed toward the approaching group. “It seems the two of you were seen larking about in taverns all over Bellemer. Really, Daniel? After the way he ruined the reputations of Robert’s sister and cousin? This is the kind of man you choose to take up with? And you let Gwendolyn traipse about in men’s clothes on James’s arm! I had to hide it from Robert so he wouldn’t hunt you both down!”

“Ems, I’ve been wandering the kingdoms for months now and I rarely read that garbage. I had no idea what had happened with Robert’s sister. Also, you should know better than to believe the stories in that rag. It was one tavern for one night. I can explain everything. Prince Phillip is—”

“Prince Phillip is standing right behind you,” Phillip said, as he stepped around Daniel and reached out for Emmaline’s hand. “Queen Emmaline. Prince Phillip of Bellemer. I have come to seek the forgiveness and aid of your kind husband.” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it.

Emmaline pulled her hand back sharply and said, “That will all be his decision. Gwendolyn! Come here! Let’s get you into the castle and back into clothes more appropriate than this man’s tunic. I will take all of you to speak with Robert.” The young queen commanded, “Daniel, walk with me. We’ve a few things to talk about.”

Daniel shuffled forward like a reluctant child and took his sister’s outstretched hand. She turned and headed across the drawbridge, pulling Daniel along behind her. Gwendolyn looked at Phillip and shrugged before turning to follow the pair into the castle. Daniel turned to see Phillip standing with a blank stare.

“Well, that was chilly.” Peter pulled his horse toward the open gate. “Why don’t James and I take the horses to the stables while you handle this?”

“Phillip, come on!” Daniel called back to the other prince and watched as Phillip hurried across the drawbridge to join the group. Daniel nodded at the guards standing on either side of the castle’s main gates as they strolled into the bustling courtyard.

At first, Daniel assumed it must be market day, until he remem­bered that Dealonians were known for having voracious appetites, sump­tuous daily feasts and continuous markets. All around the edges of the large cobblestone-paved enclosure, farmers sat at small, multicolored tents with table after table of fresh produce spilled out for purchase. A few hens and roosters fluttered about, chased by three yapping dogs. Women in aprons ambled among the tables, inspecting fruit and vegetables and gossiping about the day’s events. Children ran around the edges of a stone fountain that gurgled in the center of the courtyard, as they chased the small paper boats they sailed in the basin. In the solitude of his wanderings, Daniel had forgotten how exciting the flurry of castle life could be. He was glad Emmaline’s marriage had brought her to such a busy place.

He turned to his sister and asked, “So, have you forgiven me for missing your wedding yet?”

“No. I know you were seeking a cure for your birthday curse, but it’s a shame you didn’t come home for the wedding. You know, the fairies all showed up to bestow their blessings. You could have just asked them then.”

“Wait? What?” Daniel asked as he stopped, dropped his sister’s hand and stared at her in disbelief. “The birthday fairies came to the wedding?”

Phillip gasped for breath as he trotted up beside Daniel. “Every­one knows that, Daniel. Weddings, engagements, births. They always show up for the big events.” Phillip placed his hand on Daniel’s shoulder while leaning over to catch his breath and hold­ing his side with his other hand. Daniel reached up and patted Phillip’s hand.

Emmaline shifted her gaze between Phillip’s hand lying casually on her brother’s shoulder and the gentle smile Daniel cast toward the gasping prince. Arching her eyebrow, she smirked before taking her brother’s free hand and turning to continue down the hallway. At the end of the hall she stopped in front of a pair of wide doors, which were painted with motifs of wheat and corn in the gold and bur­gundy colors of the Dealonian royal family. Emmaline turned her back to the doors and bumped them open with her backside. “This way.”

Daniel and Phillip gasped as they entered the enormous room. Daniel was awestruck by the ceiling paintings of farmers working in fields. At the far end of the hall were two thrones beneath a long burgundy banner with the words “Sow the seed. End the need.” embroidered in golden lettering. Beneath the banner hung a large wooden shield with the family sigil of a sheaf of wheat.

“Welcome to my little chateau!” Emmaline said with a sweep of her hands, as she crossed toward the thrones. “What were we talking about? Oh, the wedding. All seven fairies were there. For less important events, it’s just one at a time, and they don’t let you know they’re there. But at engagements, weddings and births they show their faces. Dima, my fairy, gave me a fertility blessing, which has clearly worked. Instead of wandering all over the kingdoms, you should just get yourself engaged.” Daniel felt his face flush as Emmaline shifted her eyes to Phillip. “Phillip, how did my silly brother talk you into wandering around the kingdoms with him looking for a good night’s sleep?”

“What?” Phillip asked, as he and Gwendolyn followed the pair into the hall. “What are you talking about? We aren’t just wandering. We have a mission, and Daniel is helping me with my problem. We’re not just looking for a good night’s sleep. Daniel, what is she talking about?”

“Phillip, let me explain—”

“Here we are!” Emmaline interrupted, dropping her brother’s hand. Gathering her skirts, she carefully stepped up the three steps of the dais that held the thrones. A young man with sandy blond hair and a thick beard slumped in the larger throne with his head resting on his fist. His shoulders rose and fell slowly in the quiet breath of sleep. “Robert! Wake up!” Emmaline shouted and punched the dozing man on the arm. “We’ve got guests!”

King Robert’s crown slid off his head onto his lap as he jolted awake. He fumbled with the crown as it rolled across his thighs, barely catching it before it tumbled to the floor. After shoving the crown back on his head, he yawned, stretched and scratched his ribs. Shooting an irritated look at his wife, Robert said “Ouch! What did you go and do that for? I was just getting to a good part. The chefs were serving an enormous cake covered with chocolate and… Daniel? Is that Daniel? Come here, lad, and give your new brother a big hug!”

Robert leapt from the throne and stretched his arms out. Daniel stepped onto the dais and wrapped his arms around the king. Robert pulled Daniel close and clapped his hands on his back several times, then leaned back to inspect the prince’s face. “Yes. You are definitely from the Sylvanian house. Emmaline, why didn’t you tell me how much your brother looks like you?”

“Guilty,” Daniel said with a grin.

“Yes. You
are
guilty,” Robert boomed and released Daniel from his grasp. “Guilty of missing the fanciest wedding the kingdoms have ever seen! No one warned me your sister would try to empty my coffers with one little party. By Godrick’s curls, there were flowers and foods I’d never even heard of! Some of those desserts haunt my dreams to this day! And I’m not forgiving you for missing a second of it, baby boy, no matter what your excuse. Wandering the kingdoms like some peddler. If this little lady hadn’t swept me off my feet with those big green eyes, I might have questioned marrying into a family that lets the youngest boy go traipsing about!”