The Rules of Seduction (20 page)

It wasn’t enough. A maddening desperation unhinged her, much like the one in the carriage, only worse because now she
knew
what she sought and her essence wept for it.

He shifted his position. He slid his hand between their bodies. His touch helped her to crest the summit and fall, fall, into the dark bliss.

Diamonds, he decided. Amethysts would be too predictable.

It was the first sane thought that came to him afterward, while he listened to her breath and his consciousness recentered itself.

He braced his weight on his forearms. She still drifted, her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted. Ecstasy softened her so much. He could see the girl in her now that the sensible Miss Welbourne had lost hold of her senses.

As if his gaze intruded, her lashes fluttered and her lids rose. A soulful acknowledgment of the power passed between them. Then the day began invading, creating little distances.

If this was evidence of how it would go, he was fortunate in his choice of wife. She was as honest in her passion as in her plain speaking. She may hold much against him, but she did not deny the desire. That was a rare thing.

“Do you ride?” he asked, moving off her so he could look at her body. His trailing caress over her breast made her blush. She was not so bold once the madness passed.

“I did when I was young. My father had a good stable before he was ruined.”

Ruined.
The word hung there. She said it calmly, without acrimony, but it was a word that wanted to throw up stone walls around her. She had experienced it before, it seemed. Timothy Longworth’s fall must have seemed like a returning nightmare.

“Gambling?” he asked.

She shook her head, then glanced down her body. She blushed and closed her eyes. She withdrew within herself so her nakedness would not be scandalous to her. How interesting women could be, especially this one.

He pulled up a coverlet and draped it over them. “Drink?”

“Investments. The promise of wealth untold. The things you are renowned for, but he lacked the luck and judgment. Benjamin’s father lured him in deeply, and they drowned together.”

“There was nothing left for you when he passed?”

“The land was entailed to a second cousin, whose wife did not want me in their home. I wrote to Benjamin, hoping he would take me in out of guilt for his father’s role in it all. I discovered that my cousins were better than that. They accepted me not out of guilt but goodness.”

Her rose mouth, very dark from being soundly kissed for an hour, turned up at its ends. She still did not open her eyes. She did not reject the pleasure, but perhaps she wanted to deny the man who gave it to her.

“We have broken the rule,” she said. “Talk of them is not supposed to enter our bed.”

“That is true, and it was my questions that led to it.” He would not make that mistake again. He was not sorry he had this time, however. He comprehended her devotion to them better now.

Sunlight and conversation had burned away the latent bliss. She merely suffered his presence beside her now. He threw off the bedclothes and got out of bed.

“Call for your maid. Have her prepare a bath if you want. I will show you the house before dinner. Tomorrow we will ride the estate.”

He left his garments for his valet to collect later and strode to the dressing room and his own apartment. Her small revelations made him stop before he left.

“Alexia, your freedom in your passion pleases me. I am not a man who thinks a woman’s timidity is virtuous. However, you are not obligated to agree to everything.” He almost left it at that. “Nor should you think that you have to pay for your keep by agreeing to behave like a courtesan in marriage.”

She sat up, clutching the sheet to her body. She looked at him in the direct, honest manner he admired. “You are not in love with me, nor I with you. But this…” She glanced to the bed. “This is a joy, and perhaps what we share is a good foundation for a marriage. While it lasts, I would be a fool to pretend it is not real.”

CHAPTER
FOURTEEN

I
think it is safe to say that I am returning to London a changed woman,” Alexia said as the coach entered town.

She referred to her body’s discoveries, Hayden supposed. Whether he ravished her or took his time, she did not complain. Her happy compliance had provoked him to see just how bold she was prepared to be. Very bold, if the last few days had been any indication.

His courtesan in marriage appeared thoroughly sated but not so changed. She smiled impishly as she made her allusion, but he saw no private spark, no knowing glance that indicated she meant more than a sexual transformation had taken place.

How changed are you, dear wife?
When the release came and he collapsed atop her, so spent he lost hold on his soul, did she also feel the contentment so vast, so binding, that it begged for a prayer to be said or a poem to be written? Had she experienced the yearning that had no name, that ached to penetrate thoughts and know her the ways their bodies and sweat quietly promised?

She looked lovely today. Very sweet. Very warm. Their passion had taught him a few things too, however. He had gazed deeply into those violet eyes as he moved in her. He had seen far into the distance, where private shadows tried to veil her thoughts. He had seen further than she wanted, feeding his yearning to know, until he went too far. Eventually a wall always appeared, thwarting him.

There were miles behind that wall.

“I expect your aunt has settled into Easterbrook’s house by now,” she said.

“I would not be surprised if my brother has refused to leave his apartment, however.”

“He will regret this arrangement, you mean.”

“He suspects that once ensconced in his home, Aunt Hen will be impossible to remove.”

“Then it is odd that he invited her to come merely to accommodate us. He knows you made a bad bargain in this marriage.”

“I think he sought to make this easier for you.” He took her hand and kissed it. “As for a bad bargain, if gentlemen spoke of the carnal side of their marriages, my brother and friends would be envious of my choice of bride.”

“I am glad you are pleased, Hayden.”

He looked into her eyes. Only the nearest fields were visible now. This marriage would be companionable in the daylight. She would see to his comfort and give him children and, unless another man stole her heart, be faithful. Intimacy would be reserved for bed, when she forgot for a while that he was a man she did not love who had inconveniently seduced her.

Not a bad bargain. Not really. It was better than most men achieved. And yet…he could not deny that his fondness for the estimable Miss Welbourne had grown in the last weeks and that more than his body warmed in their embraces.

A conspiratorial spark of glee compromised Falkner’s formal countenance. “Welcome home, madam.”

Home. Merely entering the house comforted her, much like donning an old, well-worn shawl. The winds of life had buffeted her the last few weeks. The days in Kent almost frightened her, they were so full of new experiences and unexpected intimacy.

She returned to this house as mistress, however, not as poor cousin or governess. Even in the familiar there would be alterations. They were visible in the bows of the servants.

Hayden escorted her up to the library.

“We should call on Easterbrook soon,” she said. “I must arrange to continue my duties with Caroline.”

“No longer a duty. It is your choice whether to continue.”

“I thought you came to Oxford that day first and foremost to ensure Caroline’s finishing was completed.”

“The necklace I carried had been removed from safekeeping the night before, Alexia. We would have had that conversation even if you had not told Hen you intended to leave this house.”

He disarmed her when he said things like that. It was kind of him to leave out the rest of it and not mention that only the events in the attic brought that conversation about. She was not sure she wanted the truth to be obscured like this. She often lost hold of the facts in their marriage bed, but it would be foolish to allow that illusion to infect the days.

“I would like to continue with Caroline. It is late for her to learn the humors of a new governess.”

“We will call this afternoon, then. You can see to Caroline, and I can see if my brothers are surviving Hen’s invasion.”

“It can wait until tomorrow.”

“I should go with you on this first call, and I need to be in the City tomorrow. There are affairs that need my attention. I have neglected them too long.”

Is that what occupied his mind when he turned so thoughtful in her arms? While his body melted into hers in satisfaction and his breath invaded her being, was his mind contemplating the affairs waiting his attention? Perhaps. The impression that their minds rested in unity along with their bodies might have only come from her own lack of separateness.

It would take some time before she sorted through the truths of this marriage and discovered just what was real and what was not. Right now, his reference to his affairs heralded one change. Henceforth they would live separate lives. The companionship they shared in Kent would not continue.

She had not expected it to. That was not how couples actually lived. She was glad to have had the chance to know him better, however. To learn something of the man within the man.

The inner man was not so different from the one the world saw, just more complicated. The inner man laughed at her jokes even if they were not very humorous. He treated her kindly even though he commanded her activities during the day and her passion during the night. He emerged most often in bed, with a warmth that in no way weakened him, that actually increased the power that made her tremble. He enfolded her in a security she had never known before. She had grown to believe the promise he made in the church, that she would be safe with him.

Falkner entered the library, bearing a large stack of mail neatly tied with ribbons.

“This was sent by Lord Easterbrook yesterday,” he explained.

Hayden untied the ribbons and flipped through the letters.

“Falkner, did any mail arrive for me while I was gone?” Alexia asked.

“No, madam.”

Her heart fell in a long, sad sigh. She understood that her cousins would be angry. She did not anticipate quick acceptance. However, she had not expected to be ignored. A letter full of accusations and fury would have been preferable to silence. They acted as if she were dead to them.

She had not dwelled on that loss while she was in Kent. Hayden had seen that she did not have much time to.

He sat near a table now. The light from a northern window gently washed his face. Her heart swelled at the sight of him, and sensual memories fluttered through her head.

“They will come around. Give them some time.” His gaze did not leave the letter he read. He had not even had to look at her to know what she was thinking.

“I think that I should write again.”

“I would prefer you did not, Alexia. I do not care for the idea of your writing another letter to your cousins, begging their forgiveness for marrying the horrible Lord Hayden.”

He did not actually command, but a husband had just directed a wife on the behavior he expected of her. A good wife would obey, and she was committed to being one. However, she had not anticipated that he might interfere in such a private matter.

She did not argue, although she sensed he was poised to hear objections. She did not explain that she had not yet begged their forgiveness and did not intend to. His display of husbandly authority left her disinclined to soothe his ruffled pride.

He had promised when he proposed that he would not obstruct her friendships, and her cousins were her closest friends. She would hold him to his word.

Nor would she wait for her cousins to come around. If she did, maybe they never would.

They found Henrietta well ensconced in Easterbrook’s house. The manner in which she greeted them indicated that to her mind she was not a guest but mistress now.

She received them in the drawing room. She gave Alexia a good look, then bestowed a woman-to-woman smile. “It appears that marriage
suits
you, dear.”

Alexia felt her face warm at the insinuating tone. “It suits me well enough.”

Hayden drifted away, leaving her to suffer Hen’s examination alone. Caroline’s arrival veiled her mother’s curiosity but did not put off the inquisition.

“You found Kent
pleasant
?”

“It is a lovely property.”

Hen’s glance swept to Hayden, who strolled along the bank of windows. “He appears very
contented.
”

Caroline looked over too. “He does, doesn’t he? Not nearly as frightening as before.”

“It is said that only Venus can tame Mars,” Hen cooed.

Caroline frowned, confused by the allusion. Alexia lost her patience with Henrietta’s smirks. “I am no Venus, and he is too intelligent to be cast as Mars. However, if you perceive contentment, I am heartened. I take my responsibilities as a wife very seriously, as did you, I am sure.”

“I relished my
responsibilities,
Alexia, and miss the joy they gave me.”

“I fully expect to enjoy them too,” Caroline said. “I have been learning all about planning dinner parties while you were gone. It will be great fun to be a hostess.” Her brow puckered again. “But you were on holiday. Did you host a party in Kent?”

“We speak of other duties, dear,” Hen said.

“Your mother will explain in due time,” Alexia said. “Now we must decide when I will join you for your lessons.”

Caroline wrinkled her nose. Hen began suggesting schedules, only to throw out each one in turn as inconvenient. Hayden, no doubt sensing that the conversation had moved beyond how
contented
he looked, ambled closer.

The attempts at planning had begun to bear fruit when Easterbrook arrived. His appearance startled Alexia. He wore no waistcoat or cravat, and his frock coat was unbuttoned to reveal the expanse of his white shirt. He would have appeared very common in his lack of proper attire if not for the exquisite cut and fabric of the garments that he did wear.

Hayden did not react as if his brother’s informality surprised him, but Hen rolled her eyes.

“Really, Easterbrook. I thought we agreed last night that you would not roam the house in dishabille,” she said.

Easterbrook’s countenance remained bland. “You voiced your opinion on the matter. That does not mean I agreed.”

“I daresay you are shocking Alexia, receiving her like that.”

“Are you shocked or insulted, Alexia? Are apologies due?”

“It is your home, sir. I would not be so bold as to be shocked or insulted.”

“An admirable answer. Would that all women were as sensible and forgiving.”

Hen expressed lack of sense and forgiveness by shaking her head in dismay. Easterbrook and Hayden strolled away for a private chat. Alexia drew Hen and Caroline back into their plans.

“Where is the reliquary, Henrietta, dear?” Easterbrook’s ominously calm voice floated into their midst.

Hen turned to where he and Hayden stood near a table. Alexia remembered the bejeweled reliquary that once held place of honor on it.

“This chamber is classical, and the reliquary is Gothic. It did not complement the decor at all, so I had it moved to the library.”

A smarter woman would have squirmed under the gaze Easterbrook directed at Henrietta, but his aunt returned one of her dreamy smiles.

Hayden strode out of the drawing room. A short while later he returned, carrying the reliquary. He brought it to Hen. “May I suggest that you put it back? Christian has a particular fondness for it. I am sure that you did not know that when you demanded its removal.”

Hen looked ready to argue, but Hayden’s stern expression checked her. She glanced over to Easterbrook, who eyed her too much like a fox sizing up a chicken that has stupidly wandered into its path.

Alexia reached for the reliquary. “Allow me to—”

“No,” Hayden said.

Henrietta glared at her two nephews. She rose and took the reliquary. Managing to look hurt, rebuffed, submissive, but not cowed, she quickly walked past Easterbrook and set it down on its table. Then she sailed toward the door, chin high. “Come along, Caroline. Alexia, we will see you when you visit tomorrow.”

Perplexed at whatever had occurred, Caroline joined her mother. After the door closed on them, Easterbrook went to the table and nudged the reliquary to the center of the surface.

“You have bought me a week, no more, Hayden.” He sighed with resignation. “Elliot is never about now. He escapes into the libraries by day and into some woman’s boudoir by night. It is just me. And
her.
”

“We will find another house,” Hayden said. “I can see that she will make you miserable.”

“I will survive. Your wife will be visiting her frequently in the days ahead, and I expect she will be further distracted from ruining my peace once the season starts.”

“I promise to visit often,” Alexia said.