The Same Side (University Park #2) (10 page)

Snubbing my mom’s voice in my head that continuously reminded me that Collin was the one I should be with, I picked up my book. I ran my hand over the page and then slammed it shut. As I started to place it in my backpack, another voice filtered through my muddled mind.

Don’t leave.

I stopped and opened the book. If I left, I’d never know if he was glad to see me. If I stayed, I could wait until Delaney was done taking pictures and go talk to him. This was my chance to ask him what was going on in person. Of course, he could lie to me or avoid the question, but I had to ask. I wanted to know what had changed over the past week to make him standoffish. He owed me an explanation.

Over the next hour, I kept one eye on my book and the other on Raven. Delaney took several shots of him throwing and catching the football, running on and off the field, and different poses that made it difficult for me to stay seated, much less read or study. Why was he so damn sexy? Every ripple, bulge, and muscle seemed to call to me, despite his refusal to look at me.
I buried my face in my hands.
I was such a hot mess.

How the hell did I get like this?

I was supposed to be smarter, not to mention more discerning, when it came to guys like this. I knew better. I blamed my lack of experience and my sheltered life for it, because I had no other way of explaining it myself.

The Raven’s trap was an addiction that I couldn’t get out of my head, my mouth, off my skin, or stay away from. I was in too deep to walk away.

I wanted him.

I needed him.

I had to have him.

Shit! This totally sucks.

“Thanks, Raven. I’ll let you know when I have everything done.” Delaney’s voice echoed in the distance.

I quickly glanced up and saw Raven walking off the field. He didn’t bother to say bye to me. All hope for us vanished in a second and I felt so stupid for going there. Delaney looked at me with a heartfelt expression, even though it wasn’t her fault. She had tried and I had attempted, for the second time, to see him. I had failed once again. For whatever reason, Raven was no longer interested in me.

Grabbing my things, I headed toward the gate when Raven turned around. Our gazes caught and I saw a look of regret cross his face. I continued weaving through the bleachers until I stood at the gate leading to the field. The guy that had been helping Raven pushed it open for Delaney and started to shut it when Raven spoke up.

“Lexi, can I talk to you for a moment?”

The sound of my name rolling off his tongue always sent my body into a frenzy, but this time it was so aloof that I knew what he had to say wouldn’t be good.

“Do you want me to wait for you?” Delaney glanced at Raven and then at me.

“No, that’s okay. I’ll see you at the suite.”

She gave me a quick nod and then leaned forward, whispering, “Go easy on him.”

My head retracted, somewhat taken back by her comment. I mean, whose side was she on? The guy stepped back and allowed me on the field before disappearing with Delaney.

“Is everything okay?” I tried to feign ignorance. He pursed his lips together and his eyes narrowed. He had seen right through my little act but it was worth the try.

“Let’s sit down.” He pointed to the bleachers.

We walked through the small gate and sat on the nearest bench. Sitting next to him dressed in his protective gear and huge shoulder pads, I felt so small. Fragile. Docile. I reminded myself that I was no longer that person. Things had changed and I was slowly changing, too.

“I’m sorry that I came.” I shrugged off my backpack and set it in front of me.

He sighed and then said, “I’m not upset because you came with Delaney, if that’s what you’re thinking. It’s just that…” He held his helmet between his massive hands and I imagined me between them. Feeling their warmth and soothing touch. His thumbs stretched across the front mask area and he fiddled with the sun visor, flipping it up and down. The helmet was covered in reptile markings and the purple paint shimmered under the bright sunlight. It really was beautiful. Just like him.

“What?” I leaned forward, trying to catch his gaze, but he refused to look at me.

“Lexi, I… I really like you. I do.” His head lowered and my heart sank.

Even though I had a feeling he was going to tell me he didn’t want to see me anymore, I had hoped I was wrong. I took a deep breath and in one breath, said, “Let me guess. You don’t want to see me anymore.” My chest squeezed and my stomach did a somersault. I had said it, even though I didn’t want to.

“I’m not good for you, Lexi.” He slowly turned his head in my direction.

“Don’t say that. You’re a great person, Raven.” I pressed my lips together and blinked a few times, feeling the onset of tears. Why was I on the verge of crying? I may have liked Raven, but I didn’t love him. Or did I?

“It’s the truth and you know it. You deserve to be with a guy that has his shit together and isn’t a total screw up like me.” He set his helmet on the bleacher.

I knew at that moment that my intuition was completely on target. What had sparked the change in the way he was acting toward me had everything to do with what his mother had said the other day.

“But you’re not a screw up Raven. Can’t you see that?” I pivoted my body and grabbed his arms, turning him to face me. “You’re a great guy and an awesome football player, with a great future ahead of you.”
      
“Lexi, my family isn’t like your family. We’re all effed up.” His eyes darted to the side and then back at me, pain circling around them. I knew this was hurting him, just as much as it was hurting me.

“I’m not here to judge you, Raven. I know you’ve had it rough and you deserve to have someone that will be there for you. Encourage you. Support you.” I wrapped my hands around his. “I want to be that person.”

He pulled back, forcing me to let go of his hands. “I wish you could be, but it’s better that you aren’t. You’re too good for me.”

My body slumped forward, but I straightened, forcing myself to get through to him. “I’m sorry that you think that I’m Miss Goody Two-Shoes, but I’ve got news for you. I’m not as innocent as you think.”

“Oh, come on.” Raven shot me a disdaining look. “Who are we kidding? You had never drank a beer or took a shot of liquor until you met me.”

“That was my choice. I didn’t have to drink the things you offered me, but I did because I wanted to,” I assured him.

He cupped his hands around my face and I relaxed into them. It took all my effort to keep my eyes from closing. It was so easy to get lost in his trap. The trap I loved being a prisoner to. “I’ll destroy you, Lexi. Trust me.”

I titled my head back. “No, you won’t. Because I won’t let that happen to either of us.”

“Lexi, my problems stem deeper than you can imagine. All of the forces of nature couldn’t keep me from doing some of things I know I’m not supposed to do. I’ll just pull you down with me and I can’t do that to you.” He stared deep into my eyes and I waited eagerly to see if the connection we once had would take over and make all of this better somehow. But, it didn’t.

I felt my heart breaking all over again. How had I fallen for him so quickly?

“Please, Lexi.” His forehead rested against mine and his hands drifted away from my face. “Don’t make this harder for us. Just go back to your fiancé.”

“What?” I jerked my head away and sucked in a deep breath, pissed that he had the nerve to tell me to go back to a guy that he knew nothing about.

“You heard me, Collin is waiting for you.”

“How do you know that?” I pressed him hard for an answer but he didn’t say anything. “What exactly did Delaney tell you?”

“Not much... really. But I know who Collin is—”

“You know Collin Norris? Personally?” I snapped. Every word he spoke reminded me of something my parents would have said. The last thing I needed was another person telling me what to do.

“Well, not personally, but I know of him.” His forehead creased and his eyes narrowed. This might have been hard for him, but he hadn’t even considered what it was doing to me. He had assumed he knew what was best for me. Why was he making this so hard on both of us when he didn’t have to? “He’s a good guy. His dad’s a preacher and he’s the one you should be with, not me.”

I shot up. “Oh my God! You know nothing about him, yet you’re ready to dump me at his doorstep. I guess you really don’t care about me or what makes me happy because it sure isn’t Collin.”

“Lexi, please.” Raven took my hand and urged me to sit. “Calm down.”

My eyes watered and I quickly wiped away the tears. Didn’t he know I wanted to be with him, not Collin? Pushing all fear aside, I placed my hand on his cheek. I had to tell him.

“It’s you who makes me happy. It’s you who makes my heart beat wildly. It’s you who has showed me more affection than Collin ever had in the four years we were together. You’ve given me more attention than anyone ever has. Attention that I need and want. Raven, I want to be with you. Is that such a bad thing?”

“It is when you’re a guy like me.” His eyes closed for a moment and he inhaled deeply. “I’m sorry, Lexi, but I can’t see you anymore.” He picked up his helmet. “You’re better off without me.” Without saying anything else, he stood and stepped off the bleachers. I watched as he walked through the small gate and onto the field.

I didn’t know what to think about what had just happened, except that I had to prove that I wasn’t the same Lexi Thompson he had met that day in the writing lab. I refused to be the innocent and sweet Lexi. If all the tramps in the university had a chance, then I sure as hell did. All I had to do was show him.

Σ

Chapter 7

“Get up, it’s already eight.” I nudged Delaney and she moaned.

“I’m tired… go away.” She covered her head with a pillow and turned in the opposite direction, facing the wall.

“You owe me.” I pulled the pillow away from her and she tried to stop me, but I yanked it from her limp hands.

She continued mumbling incoherent words so I flipped on the light. “Lex, turn that damn light off.”

“Not until you get up.” I swirled the drink in my hand close to her ear. “Can you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“The sound of paradise calling your name.”

She slowly turned her head and blinked a few times, trying to focus on the cup in my hand. “What are you drinking?”

I took a sip and smiled. “Something called a Tropical Dream.” I stared at the pale blue drink, determined not to let what had happened between Raven and me turn my mood sour. “I hope you don’t mind, I took your Malibu Rum and Blue Curacao.”

“Let me taste it.” Delaney eased up from the bed and took the cup from my hand. “Damn, that’s good. Where did you get the recipe?”

“Google.” I winked and took the cup from her. “You want me to make you one?” Grabbing the remote to her small portable speaker, I turned it on and hit her ‘favorites’ playlist. A fast beat played and I started gyrating to the music.

“I hadn’t planned on drinking tonight. In fact, I was going to pack so I could go home tomorrow.” She picked up her phone from the bedside table and started scrolling through it.

I lowered the music a little and then opened her closet door. “You can pack later. Tonight you’re going to a party with me.”

“A party?” She sounded surprised, as if parties were news to her. “What party?”

Skimming through her clothes, I pulled out a short black mini skirt and held it up to my waist. It was shorter than what I typically wore and I knew it would attract lots of attention. But, did I want that kind of attention? “There’s a big end of the semester party at the Sigma Chi house and we’re going.” I shoved the micro skirt back into her closet.

“Whoa. Wait a minute. How did you find out about that party?” She threw off the covers.

“I was snooping around on Facebook and saw a post,” I said, matter of fact.

“I don’t know, Lexi. Things got pretty crazy the last time I went to their end of year party in the spring. I don’t think it’s a good idea if I go.”

I turned around, ignoring her pitiful excuse. “Since when did that stop you?”

Springing from her bed, she said, “Since I made a complete ass of myself and since your brother asked me to stop partying so hard.”

Dying to know what she did, I asked the obvious. “What the hell did you do?”

“You don’t want to know.” She shouldered past me. “Your brother will be pissed if I go.”

“Don’t tell him.” I reached in her closet and pulled an off-the-shoulder blue sweater. “Can I borrow this? It will look great with my black skinny jeans.”

“Um, yeah. I guess.” She ran her hands through her long, matted hair. “Wait a minute, you want me to lie to your brother?”

I shrugged. “I didn’t say lie. I just said not to tell him.”

She cocked a brow. “What did you do with my roommate?”

I laughed and did a little dance move. “Meet the new Lexi Thompson.”