The Same Side (University Park #2) (14 page)

My legs went limp and I pressed up against the wall. Raven wanted to have sex with me.

Holy shit!

What was I supposed to do? Take off my clothes? I had kind of hoped he would have wanted to do the undressing, but maybe he just liked to get to it, not waste any time. What the hell did I know?

“I, um… I couldn’t get my dress off.” I had no idea what to say. I still felt drunk, but more coherent than when we left the party. Was this really happening, or was I passed out in the back of his car, dreaming the entire damn thing? I forced my head back and when I felt the hard thump, I knew it was happening. I was really going to lose my virginity tonight.

He stared at me, as though committing every part of my face into his memory. I tried to focus but my eyes darted all over the place, taking in every part of him. From his head to his toes. If I weren’t careful, I’d pass out from Raven overload.

“Do you need help?” He rested his hands on my waist and I flinched. It felt like it had been an eternity since he had touched me, even though he had just carried me to his car.

“Uh huh,” I managed to say.

He examined my dress for a moment and then gathered the hem in his hands. “Are you sure you want me to help you undress?”

I nodded, unable to verbally respond. Every muscle in my body went limp and I started leaning to the side.

“Whoa. You alright?” He pulled me against him and then returned his hands to my dress.

“No,” I replied. I definitely wasn’t alright. Raven was about to take off my dress and see me in my bra and panties. How in the hell could I be alright?

Don’t pass out. Don’t pass out. Don’t throw up. Don’t throw up.

The last thing I wanted to do was ruin this incredible moment. The anticipation was overwhelming and I rotated between deep and short, panting breaths. Raven began to lift my dress and then stopped around my hip area. “Are you going to get sick?”

I shook my head. “No. I’m good.”

“Okay, just making sure you’re not going to vomit all over me.” His warm breath spread along my neck and my eyes fluttered close. I was ready for him to start kissing me. There was no way I was going to throw up.

“I won’t, I promise.”

Raven continued in his quest and I stiffened when he had my dress at my waist. Need and desire crashed into each other, revving up my hormones. I opened my eyes, taking in his massive chest. My fingers tingled, eager to rip off his shirt and feel his muscles under my touch. Not knowing what to do, I helped him pull off my dress, inching it over my breasts. In one quick sweep, he slipped the dress over my head and tossed it to the floor.

His eyes swept over me and I cringed inwardly. Was I sexy to him? How did I compare to the other girls he had? I wrapped my arms around me, covering my poochy midsection. I made a mental note to do crunches at least three times a week from now on.

“Let’s get you to bed.” He picked me up and carried me. My body formed to his and I never wanted him to let me go. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tried to control the tremors, but they were too strong. I was freaking out. Should I try to kiss him? Wait for him to kiss me? I had no idea what to do.

He laid me softly on the mattress and stared at me for a moment. “You are so beautiful.”

“Thank you.” I smiled, relieved that he thought I was pretty enough to be with him. Even though I knew I wasn’t much compared to some of the girls he’d been with.

His body hovered over me and my heart walloped against my chest. The tension undulated within me and I wasn’t sure how much more I could take before I passed out from lack of oxygen and too much alcohol. I inhaled his scent and it was too much for my senses to handle. My already foggy brain thickened and my lips quivered. My hands started to slip away as he rose, but I held on to him tightly. His huge biceps pressed against my hands and I squeezed tighter.

“Goodnight, Lexi.” He leaned forward and kissed me on the lips. “Sweet dreams.” The light turned off.

“What? No. Don’t go.” I bolted upright, reaching for him in the dark. I felt my head hit him and then he moaned.

“Oh, shit.”

“I’m sorry.” I turned on the light. “Are you okay?”

Raven held his nose and he squinted his eyes in pain. “Yeah, I’ll be alright.” His eyes watered and I could tell he was holding back the tears.

“Let me see.” I urged him to sit down. I placed my hand on top of his and slowly pulled his hand away.

“Is it bleeding?” He tilted his head back and sniffed.

I checked his nose for any signs of blood. “No, it’s not.” I increased the space between us and took a deep breath. My shoulders slumped forward and I felt like an idiot. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I just got confused.”

“Confused about what?”

What an epic fail the night had been. One minute, I was freakin’ a guy I barely knew, then I was swept off my feet by Raven, and then about to have sex with him, only to find out that I wasn’t. My throat tightened and my eyes watered. Why the hell? Was I about to cry?

Stupid liquor.

“Why are you crying?”

I shook my head and wiped away the tears. “It’s nothing.”

His brows knitted in concentration and he leaned closer toward me. “Don’t lie.” His alluring stare made me nervous, but in a good way. My lips quivered as I watched him speak. “What’s bothering you?”

Pressing my lips together, I withheld the sobs threatening to escape. What the hell was wrong with me?

“Tell me, Lexi. Please.”

I threw my hands up in the air. “I thought you wanted to have sex with me,” I blurted in one breath.

Raven sighed heavily. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

I shook my head. “It’s my fault, I’m still buzzing.”

“Lexi, you don’t—”

“No, I totally misread you. It’s just that when you asked me why I was still dressed, I assumed you wanted to have sex.”

“Damn, Lexi, you’re making this so hard for me.” His voice broke and a shimmer glinted in his eyes. The muscles in his neck tightened and I could tell he was holding in his own emotions.

“I was stupid for thinking that you did. I mean, you just told me the other day that you didn’t want to be with me.”

“Lexi, it’s not that I don’t want to be with you, because I do. I want that more than anything. It’s just that…”

“It’s okay, Raven, I get it. I’m not what you want.”

“Hell, you’re everything I want and more.” He cupped my face with both his hands and using the pads of his thumbs, wiped away the tears streaming down my cheeks. My body was unraveling under his simple touch. I hated that he had that effect on me. I didn’t want him to.

“But you said you didn’t want to be with me.”

“Just because I said I’m not good for you, doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be with you.”

I felt my head spinning. Between the liquor and the conversation, I was struggling to understand what he was telling me. Did he want to be with me or not? “I’m so confused, Raven.”

“It’s really not that complicated.” He inclined his head and I followed his movement. “You see, because not only do I want to be with you, but I also want to make love to your body until you can’t stand it. Until your begging for me to stop.”

“What?” I muttered, more confused than before.

Did I hear him correctly?

“But not like this. Not while you’ve been drinking.” He stroked his fingers against my cheek and my body shivered against his touch. Hot and cold clashed inside of me and my stomach took flight. My entire body soared to an unbelievable height. Never had I felt so much affection and attention without even a kiss. Raven wanted to be with me. He also wanted to have sex with me. But I was too damn drunk to do it.

Shit!

I couldn’t breathe.

Couldn’t think.

Couldn’t function.

“Raven, stay with me… please,” I said, looking deeply in to his eyes. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“If I stay with you that could be dangerous.”

“I like dangerous.” I bit down on my lower lip, trying to contain the surge of emotions flowing through me. It took all my strength not to pull him in bed with me.

“No, you like stupid and that’s me.”

I let out a soft laugh. “You’re not stupid, Raven.”

“Well, I’m stupid, crazy for you.”

“Will you show me just how crazy you are for me?”

He kneaded his fingers through my hair and rested his head against mine. The exchange of energy between us was practically unbearable. Never had I felt a connection like this before. Especially not with Collin. My soul called out to Raven’s, dying to be connected with the piece that had been missing. Raven held a piece of me that I couldn’t function without. I needed him to be whole.

“I want to, Lexi, I really do. But I’m not taking your virginity, not like this.” Placing a soft kiss on my lips, he said, “You deserve to feel every part of me. To remember every part of me.”

∑
 

Chapter 9

The next morning when I woke up, I couldn’t help wondering if I had dreamed the entire thing. Had Raven really told me all of that or was I so drunk that I made it up? I grabbed my phone to check my messages. If things had took a turn for the better, then surely he had texted me. Staring at my phone, I saw several messages from Delaney.

Delaney: WTF? Did you take off with Raven?

Delaney: Are you okay?

Delaney: I’m on my way to the dorm. Hopefully you and Raven are screwing and that’s why you’re not responding.

A laugh escaped me. Oh how I wished that were true. But seeing the message did confirm one thing. Raven had definitely brought me home last night, which meant that I didn’t dream everything that happened. I threw back the sheets and got out of bed. The dorm was quiet, so I figured Delaney was still asleep. I shuffled down the hall and approached her room.

The door was open, so I peeked in. “Delaney?”

I looked around, but she was nowhere to be found. Her bed was made, which was unusual, and everything was in the right place. Had someone abducted my roommate and cleaned her room in the process? In the distance, I heard my phone chime. Scurrying back to my room, I picked up my phone. I frowned when I saw that it was a text from Delaney instead of Raven.

Delaney: I didn’t want to wake you, but I had to get going. I was supposed to be home last night.

Me: Let me guess, you don’t want Luke to find out you went to that party?

Delaney: Yep and my parents just told me were going to Arizona for Christmas so I need to pack.

Me: Okay. I promise I won’t say anything. Thanks for going with me.

Delaney: No problem. So, what happened? I expected to find Raven in your room or you with him.

I laid on my bed, reminiscing over our conversation. I licked my lips, recalling how he kissed me tenderly. How his body hovered over mind. Why was his touch so intoxicating? Butterflies fluttered in my stomach and I wanted more of it.

More of him.

Me: He brought me home, obviously. We kissed a little and he said that he really wanted to be with me.

Delaney: Aww. I’m so happy for you guys. Why did he leave?

Me: He said I was drunk and that he wouldn’t take my virginity like that.

Delaney: My heart just melted. He’s a keeper, girl!

Me: I know!

Delaney: Talk to you later. Have a Merry Christmas if I don’t talk to you before then, but I’m sure we will. I’ll be back for New Year’s Eve and we’ll party!

Me: Okay

The second I pushed the send button, my screen switched to a picture of my mom. I hesitated to answer the call, but knew I couldn’t avoid her.

Reluctantly, I hit the green button. “Good morning, Mom.”

“Good morning? It’s almost noon. Why didn’t you answer last night?”

Um, because I was drunk and had a hot guy in my room.

“Sorry, I guess I didn’t hear my phone ring.”

“I left a message. Did you not get it?”

Holding the phone away from my face, I hit the recent tab and saw that I had a voicemail from her. “Stupid phone. I don’t know why it didn’t alert me,” I stated, blaming my lack of responsibility on technology. She huffed over the phone and I knew she was frustrated with me. What else was new?

“I thought you and Luke were coming home last night.”

“You did?” I paused for a moment, trying to recall my last conversation with her or Luke. “Sorry, I don’t remember saying that we were. I had my last final yesterday, so I’ve been concentrating on school,” I lied, because I’d really been thinking about Raven more than my school work.

“Oh, I see.” Mom’s voice instantly changed from accusatory to understanding. “Well, what time will you and Luke be home? I want to finish putting up the Christmas decorations and I need to get started on my shopping. I didn’t get a chance when your aunt and uncle were in town…” Mom continued to ramble and I was glad that I didn’t have another hangover. The greasy hamburger had worked wonders. I smiled, thinking about Raven again. He really did care for me.