The Same Side (University Park #2) (28 page)

Damn!

Chewing on the edge of my thumb, I continued to think of how else I could get ahold of Raven. Then, it dawned on me to go to the office downstairs. My parents had a desktop computer and I could log into my Facebook account and message Raven. I flipped off the light and pressed my ear to the door, making sure it was still quiet. Silence filled the air and I carefully opened the door. The wooden floor creaked as I tip-toed through the hall. I treaded carefully with every step I took. The planks moaned against my weight, forcing me to stop every few feet to make sure my parents remained asleep. I finally made it down the stairs and to the family office without waking them.

I shut the office door and sat down. A cream colored envelop with the name of my sister’s firm name caught my attention. I picked it up and slowly opened it, pulling out the thick bundle of papers stapled together. As I unfolded the papers, my eyes scanned the report that had court hearing information and charges. My eyes drifted to the top and my stomach dropped. Raven Renee Davenport was listed in bold. I flipped through the pages, noting the drug charges that had been filed against him at the beginning of the year.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Even though I knew Raven had been suspended from school because of drug related charges, it sucked to see the actual paperwork laid out in front of me. But, I didn’t care. He meant too much to me and I didn’t want him to return to the lifestyle that had nearly destroyed him. He needed me and I needed him.

Folding up the papers, I stuffed them in the envelope. The disappointment quickly transformed into anger when I knew my mom had asked my sister, Ashley, to obtain the reports. I started to rip the envelope, but instead, placed it next to me so I wouldn’t forget to take them.

I turned on the computer and cringed when the motor spun and the monitored beeped as it powered up. The familiar tune of Windows sounded and I quickly turned down the volume on the small speakers. I prayed my parents didn’t hear it and waited in terror for the door to spring open. After several long minutes, I was convinced they were still asleep and it was safe to continue.

The screen flashed through several booting protocols before it landed on a log in screen. I clicked on my profile and was prompted to enter a password. I didn’t recall setting one up and I was certain that my parents had done it. I tried a few options, but none of them worked. I switched to Luke’s profile and cursed when it asked for his password. I guessed until it locked me out. Desperate to get in touch with Raven, I selected my mom’s profile. I was ready to punch the screen when it said the same thing.
Password incorrect.
I flipped to my dad’s login as a last resort, screaming internally when I got the same response. My parents had password protected the computer, purposefully. I had no way of contacting Raven.

Shit!

I stayed in my room for the next two days, away from my parents and the rest of the world. Looking out the window, I cursed the cold rain that beat against the glass. Another winter storm had rolled through north Texas, bringing cold, freezing rain which made it impossible for me to run away from home. Every night, I sat by the window, holding on to the dove around my neck, waiting for Raven to show up, but he didn’t. I prayed that Delaney would come over so I could take off with her, but she never did. I was sure she’d already left with her parents to Arizona for Christmas.

Life totally sucked. I had never felt so alone. I had gone from Raven’s warm bed and his comforting arms to a cold, brutal home that showed me no hope for a better future. A knock sounded on my door and it startled me. I knew it was either my mom or dad, so I didn’t bother to respond. They’d come in regardless, since my door didn’t have a lock. Another one of my parents controlling mechanism for ‘keeping us safe’
.
Everything was pointless while I was living under their roof.

“Lexi,” my mom called as she opened my bedroom door. “Can I come in?”

I snickered under my breath, wondering why she was asking when she would do whatever she pleased. I continued staring out the window, hating life more with each passing second. How could the holidays go from the best to the worst ever?

“Are you going to come and eat some lunch? It’s after one and you really haven’t eaten anything since you came home.”

I felt the emptiness of my stomach and the sour taste in my mouth, but I didn’t care if I ever ate again. I wanted nothing from my parents. Food, water, shelter, you name it. I was done.

“I brought you back your things.” I watched her set my laptop and Kindle on top of my dresser. I eyed her suspiciously, wondering what had prompted her to return them to me. She eased onto my bed and held my phone in her hands. A somber look draped across her face, making her appear older. A tiny part of me felt bad for making her worry about me, but I let it go, reminding myself that she’d brought it on herself. I had done nothing wrong. And if they weren’t willing to accept the fact that I was with Raven, then we would continue to be odds with one another.

I continued to keep a tight lip. Not having anything to say to her. When I didn’t move away from the window, she said, “I thought you might want to read this.”

I turned when I saw her hand my phone to me. Had something changed in her heart? Was she willing to accept the fact that I had chosen to be with Raven? A flutter of hope lifted my spirits and I slowly crawled toward her. I extended a shaky arm and took the piece of equipment I had been dying to get a hold of the past two days. The phone displayed a message from Raven and I blinked a few times, making sure my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me.

Sitting on the back of my legs, I began reading his text message:

Raven: Lexi, I’m so sorry that I got you in trouble with your parents. I never intended for anything like this to happen. That was the last thing I wanted and I definitely don’t want to come between you and your family. That’s why it’s best if we go our separate ways.

My throat tightened and a lump formed at the back of my throat. My eyes stung and quickly filled with tears. Was Raven breaking up with me? I scrolled through the message, making sure it was from him and not some trick my mom was playing on me. After verifying what number it came from, I returned to reading the message.

I knew all along that you were too good for me and it would never work out for us. I’m sorry I strung you along but the truth is, I can never walk away from the lifestyle I miss and love. You’re better off without me. Like I said, I’ll destroy you and I don’t want to be responsible for that, so go back to Collin because he’s the one for you. I hope you have a wonderful life and take care.

The weight of the phone increased and my hand hit the floor. My shoulders slumped forward and the tears poured from my eyes. The words repeated in my head, clouding over me and causing me to go completely numb. Everything I had been holding on to was completely gone. Raven wasn’t coming for me. He didn’t want to be with me. With one message, he had ended our relationship.

Raven and I were no more.

He had left me, again.

“I’m sorry, darling. If there’s anything I can do for you, let me know.” My mom gave me a gentle smile as if saying she knew it all along.

I stared past her, not knowing what to do or say. Everything Raven and I shared together — was it a lie? Was it all make believe? The promises, the memories, the love, were they even real? I hated myself for being so vulnerable and reckless. And to think, I gave my virginity to him. But he tossed it out the door, as if I were another one of his hoes.

The Raven’s trap had destroyed me and I’d never be the same again. Ever.

Σ

Chapter 18

Christmas came and went and I was in complete and utter shock. I barely ate, barely slept, and cried day and night. I hated life and truly wanted God to take me. But I had no one to blame but myself. I knew what Raven was about and I knew he was trouble from the first day I met him at the writing lab. But, I fell for his contagious smile, his charming personality, and his hot and sexy body, just like every other girl he seduced. I was no different than Macy, the Silicone Triplets, or Reece. We were all victims to The Raven’s trap and addicted to him like a drug we had to have and couldn’t live without.

“Lex, are you going to get dressed? It’s already five.” Delaney struggled to zip up her dress. I motioned for her to come to me so I could help her. My parents were having a big New Year’s Eve party so I invited her because I knew she wanted to spend time with Luke. However, all I wanted to do was stay locked up in my room forever. I didn’t even care to go back to school because I knew that everything would remind me of Raven and Collin and that was the last thing I wanted or needed.

“Put it on so we can go and eat.” She handed me a black jumpsuit with a velvet top that my mom had bought me.

“Okay, I’ll get dressed.” I tossed my long waves over my shoulder. If it weren’t for Delaney, my hair and makeup wouldn’t have been done and I would’ve settled for the au natural look with a messy bun. I had no one to impress and didn’t care how I looked.

“Have you tried to call him?” Delaney handed me my brand new stacked heels. I sighed when I looked at them. They were the ones I had bought when I went Christmas shopping with Raven. Why did everything have to remind me of him?

I nodded and pressed my lips together, trying to repress the tears that once again, threatened to take over my life. “Yeah, but he doesn’t respond.” I stuffed my feet in my shoes, hoping that I’d break a heel and have to trash them. “I text him daily, but I get nothing in response.” I sighed heavily and closed my eyes, knowing what I had to do. “I just need to move on, that’s all there is to it. It’s over.”

Delaney dug around in my jewelry box and handed me a set of gold bangles and a long necklace that had a tassel on the end. “I just find it hard to believe that he’s willing to end it… just like that.” she motioned for me to turn around, “I think there’s more to it.”

“I doubt it.” I tucked the silver dove underneath my clothes, refusing to remove it, and adjusted the long chain against my velvet top. She handed me a pair of earrings and I put them on. “I mean, this is the second time he’s told me that we don’t belong together.” I sighed, trying not to recall the conversation at the football stadium and the text message. “I just need to accept the truth and forget about him.”

“But why are you still wearing the necklace he gave you.” She cocked a brow. “Huh?”

I shrugged and turned away, slightly regretting that I’d told her everything that happened while I was with him. From the great sex to us playing in the snow, to our little Star Wars Christmas tree, and the near drug incident, I’d spilled my guts to her and cried and cried until there was not a drop left in me. And she held me, like a good friend was supposed to until I was somewhat better. Raven had definitely brought me and Delaney closer, even though I wished it was him instead of her.

“Hey, I’ve got a surprise!” She shuffled to her bag and pulled out the familiar white liquor bottle. “This will help take away all your sadness.”

I looked at the bottle and turned away. Even that reminded me of Raven. “Maybe I like feeling sad. Let’s me know I’m still alive.”

“What? You gotta be kidding me.” She plummeted to my bed. “No one likes feeling depressed. And I definitely miss my new roommate.”

“Yeah, I miss her, too.” I checked my phone, hoping that maybe, just maybe, Raven had sent me a message. As expected, nothing had been received. What he was doing? Was he getting ready to go out? Had he already been drinking and partying with his friends? Had he resorted back to screwing his hoes and snorting his drugs? The thoughts sent shivers up my back and I didn’t want to think the unthinkable.

“I think we need to find her again.” Delaney showed me the bottle through the mirror, hugging it like it was sacred or golden to her.

I let out a half smile. “Maybe later. But you better hide it in my closet. If my parents find it, they’ll kick you out.”

Delaney jumped off the bed and darted to my closet.

“Damn, that was fast.” I turned around as she closed my closet door.

“What do you expect?” She adjusted her skirt and fixed her hair. “I haven’t seen your brother since the week before Christmas. I’m dying for a piece of his ass.”

“Ewww.” I covered my ears and said, “I can’t hear you. I can’t hear you.” I repeated it over and over again, not wanting to hear what she wanted to do with my brother.

She shook her head. “Okay, I’ll stop.”

I uncovered my ears. “Thank you.”

She grabbed my hand and led us out of my room. We went downstairs and were promptly greeted by a room full of family and friends. Soft holiday music played in the background and the room sparkled with tiny white lights strung around the stairwell, arches, and posts. Garland decorated the house and several Christmas trees in a variety of sizes were still up. The smell of rich, food wafted in the air and a wave a nausea hit me.

“Oh, wow. That smells so good.” Delaney inhaled deeply like she hadn’t eaten in days.

My stomach tightened and I felt the rise of bile in my throat. I covered my mouth and swallowed a few times, trying to dissipate the sick taste. A waiter appeared and offered appetizers along with alcohol free punch.

“No thanks.” I turned my head when he held the tray up to me.

Delaney took several crackers with slices of smoked salmon that had white stuff speckled with green. The look of it made me want to barf. I grabbed a glass of punch and downed it just in time.

“Is it that good?” she teased as she picked up a glass and sipped the light colored liquid. “How boring.” She rolled her eyes. “But I know how to make it ten times better.”

The waiter looked at both of us suspiciously before walking off.

“What’s wrong with you?” I elbowed her. “Do you want someone to hear you?”