The Scarlet Thread (9 page)

operas. Now she found solace in them. For an hour, she could

forget how miserable she was and lose herself in the convoluted

lives of television characters. Their problems were more tragic

and complex than hers, their passions a lot more exciting. How

many times had Erica Kane been married anyway?

The laundry was folded and set aside well before the third

commercial promoting some new feminine hygiene product. She

put the towels and clothing away. Sitting down again, she kicked

her bare feet up on the coffee table and leaned back into the sofa.

She
should
be doing
something.
But what?

They’d been living in this apartment house for three months,

and she didn’t even know the family next door. She knew they

had children. The little boy ran along the corridor right outside

the living room window a dozen times every day, even when it

was raining. And there was that woman down on the first floor

who peered out her curtains all the time and then ducked back in

when someone chanced to notice her. What was her problem

anyway?

Sierra didn’t want to find out. There were twenty apartments

in this complex, and she didn’t know a single soul living in one

of them. Everyone protected their privacy. They probably had

guns in their side tables. She remembered having a phone conversation with her mother, in which her mother said, “Reach

out, Sierra. You can never tell who God has just waiting for you

to say hello.” So she’d said hello to one woman who came into

the laundry room, and the woman had barely acknowledged

her attempt at friendliness. She just dumped diapers into one of

the washing machines, poured in soap, twirled the controls, and

left.

Rebuffed, Sierra didn’t make the attempt again. If God had

someone waiting for her, he’d have to tell them to make the first

move.

She didn’t leave the sofa until the credits were rolling, and

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out the door. She had it all perfectly timed. If she left immediately after the soap opera, she’d pull into Carolyn and Clanton’s

school just as the other children were boarding school buses.

The kids pleaded for McDonald’s on the way home, and Sierra gave in. She didn’t feel like making spaghetti anyway, and

Alex had already said he wouldn’t be hungry. Something light.

Fine. She’d stop by the grocery store and pick up packaged salad

fixings and dressing.

She straightened up the kitchen while the children settled at

the table to do their homework and talk about their day at

school. At least they were making new friends.

Clanton dug through his backpack and produced a fistful of

school announcements, sign-up sheets, and graded homework.

“Can I sign up for Little League, Mom?”

“You’ll have to talk to your father about it,” Sierra said, putting

the last rinsed dish into the washer.

“You think Dad’ll coach again this year?”

“I don’t know, Clanton. You’ll have to ask him.”

Clanton did the minute Alex walked through the door. “Not

this year, champ,” Alex said, ruffling his hair. “I’m not going to

have the time.” He leaned down to kiss Carolyn hello.

Flipping the kitchen towel over her shoulder, she approached

as he stood loosening his tie. “Did you have a good day?”

“Great.” He gave her a firm kiss and pulled his tie free. Unbuttoning the collar of his shirt, he headed toward the bedroom.

“I’m going to change and take a quick run.”

Jogging was another new thing in Alex’s life. Steve and Matt

jogged; they claimed it was great as a stress reliever. So, of course,

Alex had followed suit.

By the time Alex returned, Clanton and Carolyn had taken

their baths and were dressed for bed. She read to them while

Alex showered and put on his worn Levi’s and UCB sweatshirt.

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When she came out to straighten the living room, he went in to

say good night to the children. She supposed she should be

thankful he spent the next half hour talking with them.

“Jack called me just before I left the office,” he said when he

came out.

Jack and his pregnant wife had rented their Windsor home.

“Problems?”

“On the contrary. He’s got enough for a down payment on the

house.”

“They’re buying it?” she said weakly. As long as they still

owned the Windsor home, she held out the hope that they’d

return. Alex’s words tore the crumbling foundations right out

from beneath her.

“That was their hope when they moved in. I told him what the

house was worth before we left. He said today his parents decided to give him a portion of his inheritance early. He’s contacting your father’s old partner to take care of the paperwork. They

shouldn’t have any problem qualifying for a mortgage. We’ll

have the money in our hands by the end of May.”

He cupped her face. “I know how much that little place meant

to you.”

That little place.
He said it so casually, as though it had been a

shack or a hole in the wall. He couldn’t have any idea what it

meant to her, or he wouldn’t be so quick to sell it.

“Matt gave me the name of a good Realtor. I want you to start

looking at houses. Four bedrooms, three baths, with a pool. Get

together with Audra. She knows all the best areas. I want us in a

good
neighborhood.

“We were in a good neighborhood.”

He let his hands slide away. “We’ll be in a better one. Steve

gave me a raise today. A
big
raise. He’s that sure Vigilantes is

going to be big.”

She saw how bright his eyes were, aglow with ambition and

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with your children?”

Alex didn’t move, but Sierra could feel the cold front move in

worse than an Illinois winter.

The tongue is a restless evil, full of deadly poison . . .
her mother’s

voice echoed in her mind, and Sierra felt a stab of shame. But

before she could apologize, Alex spoke in a glacial tone.

“They like the idea of having their own pool.”

“Do they also like the idea of changing schools again?” she shot

back, trying to keep the edge of sarcasm out of her voice and failing.

“Audra suggested a private school. I have the name she gave

me written down.”

Naturally. “Has she offered to pay for it, too?”

Alex’s temper came surging to the surface. “What have you

got against her? You haven’t liked her from day one, and she’s

done nothing but be nice to you.”

“Is
that
what you call it? Remind me to kiss her feet the next

time I see her!” Sierra moved away from him, filled with resentment and feelings of betrayal. She had tried to explain to Alex

how Audra made her feel: uneducated, uncultured, and from the

lower classes in a supposedly classless society. Alex insisted it

was her imagination; she knew it was deliberate.

Every time she was with Audra, the woman made a point of

mentioning this course or that course that she had taken at USC,

any of which made her an expert on any given subject. Sierra

might have an opinion, but it was an uneducated one.

“Oh?” Audra had said only two days ago in response to a

comment Sierra had made. She arched her elegant brow. “And

how did you come to
that
conclusion?”

They had been discussing the abortion issue, and Sierra had

said she believed it was wrong to end the life of an unborn child.

Clearly what her mother had taught her just didn’t cut the

mustard in Audra’s eyes.

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“Sounds like fundamentalist brainwashing to me,” she said

with a pitying glance that dismissed Sierra’s lifetime of learning

from her mother’s knee. Then Audra launched into a dissertation complete with “facts” proving the nonentity of the

human fetus.

“Why didn’t you go to college, Sierra?” Audra finally said.

“You learn how to think for yourself at college. If your parents

couldn’t afford it, you could’ve gone to a junior college and then

finished at a four-year university.” She said it so sweetly it

sounded as though she genuinely felt sorry that Sierra had lost

out on the opportunities she herself had been given.

“Money was no problem. I just wasn’t interested.”

“Not interested?” Again the eyebrow arched. “Steve said Alex

graduated with honors from UC Berkeley.”

“Yes, he did.”

“You might think about taking some night courses,” she said

seriously.

Sierra waited for more, but it wasn’t forthcoming. Apparently,

Audra felt she had said enough, and indeed she had. Even now,

several days later, Audra’s implication rankled: Alex would lose

interest in her because of her lack of education. Sierra looked out

the window at the line of cars ahead, two lanes to the right and

two to the left. Just because she hadn’t gone to college didn’t

mean she didn’t keep up on what was happening in the world.

She read the newspaper. She read magazines. She watched

CNN!

Yet, even with all that, she was left feeling as though she were

standing on sinking sand.

Shopping was even more excruciating. She had accepted three

invitations from Audra because Alex insisted. Each time when

Audra arrived, she tapped her long, coral-colored acrylic fingernails on the door and jangled the keys of her silver Mercedes

when Sierra answered.

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child.

Chatting gaily, Audra drove to stores far beyond any ordinary

citizen’s budget.

“Aren’t you going to buy anything, Sierra?” Audra said the

last time while signing the slip for an eight-hundred-dollar dress.

“That blue dress you were looking at would make you look wonderful.”

“At six hundred and fifty dollars, even a chimp would look

wonderful in it.”

Audra had laughed at her remark, but Sierra felt the full force

of an affronted glare from the elegantly attired saleslady. One

just didn’t say such things on Rodeo Drive.

Actually, Sierra had wanted to say more. She wanted to add

for both women’s benefit that if she had an extra six or seven

hundred dollars lying around, she certainly wouldn’t put it all on

her back!

Audra offered to treat her to lunch at Lowry’s. Sierra declined.

She had been taught to reciprocate, and she doubted Audra

would feel suitably recompensed at Denny’s.

“I’m sorry, but I need to get home, Audra. The children will be

getting out of school soon.” She’d glanced at her watch to make

her point. “I always pick them up.”

“You should get involved in a car pool,” Audra had commented, shooting the Mercedes in and out of traffic with the skill

of an experienced Indianapolis 500 driver.

Sierra was tired of Audra “should”ing all over her. “Chauffeuring children to school is one of the delights of motherhood.”

“Delights?” Audra laughed. Weaving smoothly across three

lanes of dense traffic, she glided down an off-ramp. “That

doesn’t say much for the quality of your life.” Her eyes twinkled

merrily. “We’ll have to do something to give you a little excitement.”

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And now it seemed she had.

Was it really Alex’s idea that they look for a house so soon? Or

had Audra through Steve advised they do so? Once they were

under the weight of a mortgage, it would be pretty hard to

change their minds about working in Los Angeles.

She pushed thoughts of Audra away and tried to reason with

Alex. “I think it’s too soon to think about buying a house,” she

said.

“You like living in a cramped apartment?”

She bristled anew at his sarcasm but remained calm. “You

haven’t even been at your new job for four months, Alex. What if

you decide you hate it?”

“I
love
it.”

“I’m saying
if
you changed your mind. You’re having a honeymoon at Beyond Tomorrow right now. The whole thing may

come down around your head like a house of cards.”

“Thanks for your vote of confidence.”

“I’m confident in
you,
Alex, but I don’t trust
them.
Everything’s

moving too fast. It’s all too easy. We should wait at least a year,

Alex. So much can change—”

“Get it through your head, Sierra. I’m not changing my mind

about anything.” Face rigid and pale with anger, he glared at her.

“I’m getting pretty tired of you walking around with a black

cloud over your head all the time.” He picked up his briefcase

and went to his computer. Opening the briefcase, he took out a

diskette. He turned on the computer and slipped the diskette

into the slot. “Either you can look around for a house and help

make the decision, or I’ll just take care of it myself,” he said, his

back to her. “The choice is yours.”

So much for priorities, she thought, tears brimming as she

went into the kitchen.

She called the Realtor the next morning and made an appointment. Roberta Folse said she would be by at ten, which would

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her grocery shopping.

Roberta had penny-red hair, dark brown eyes, and was

slightly overweight. She was elegantly dressed in a green suit

with a gold silk blouse and a string of pearls.

“Your husband said you moved recently and you were having

a difficult time settling in,” she said when they were on their way

in her sleek black Jaguar. “He didn’t mention where you lived

before.”

“We both grew up in Healdsburg,” Sierra said, wondering

how much else Alex had confided in this attractive stranger. “It’s

about seventy miles north of San Francisco, in the wine country.”

“I’m familiar with the area,” Roberta said and smiled with

complete understanding. “God’s country. No wonder you’re

having trouble. Culture shock. This area must seem like another

planet to you.”

Sierra warmed to her at once and felt herself relaxing. From

that point on, they talked easily. Roberta had four children, all

grown-up and in college or married. She had gotten her real

estate license when the market was booming. “I’ve always

loved looking at houses,” she said, driving along pretty

tree-shaded streets with charming ranch-style houses and

some with a hint of Victorian. “You know, most people I know

dream of retiring in the wine country or farther north in the

redwoods. I like Garberville myself. It has an old-fashioned

feel to it.”

“My brother owns a place there. He has twenty acres out near

White Thorn on the way to Shelter Cove. He likes to go up on

weekends and relax.”

“Heaven.” Roberta sighed. “Well, we’ll see if we can’t find you

a house down here that’ll have the country feel. Why don’t we

take a look at this one?”

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Roberta showed her four homes, all with four bedrooms, three

bathrooms, and a pool. The prices made Sierra’s head spin and

her stomach drop. They were four times what she and Alex had

paid for their Windsor home! What was Alex thinking? Sierra

confided her concerns to Roberta.

“It is a shock, I know. Your husband told me what you’re going to make from the sale of your home and what he’s currently

making. It’ll be tight, but I don’t think you’ll have problems qualifying. Especially with Steve Silverman cosigning.”

Sierra could feel the blood running out of her face. “Cosigning?”

“It’ll speed up the process of you and your husband having a

new home. Steve simply guarantees the loan.”

“So they would own part of our home?”

“Oh no, but should you fall into financial difficulties, which is

very unlikely, Steve would have to assume responsibility for the

mortgage. Alex told me his primary concern is location, which is

wise. Should you decide to resell after a few years, any one of

these homes would be snapped up quickly.”

Warning bells were going off in Sierra’s mind, but she couldn’t

pinpoint the cause. She tried to talk to Alex about it that night,

but he thought she was suspicious of Steve’s motives in offering

to guarantee their loan and took offense.

“That’s not what I said!” Sierra protested, upset.

“Pretty close.”

“You don’t
listen.”

“Then try making sense. Try thinking things through before

you open your mouth.”

“Forget it,” she said, hurt. Did he think she was stupid just

because she wanted all the facts? “Just forget it. We’ll buy a

house. After all, it’s
your
money. Right? This marriage isn’t a

partnership. I’m just the stupid, uneducated little homebody

who happens to be your wife!”

“I didn’t say that!”

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Alex said barely a dozen words to her over the next week.

James Farr has come to live with us.

He talks to me sometimes when Matthew has

other things to do. He is laid up with a broken leg

and he is very sad because his mother and father

was both dead from a terible Tragedy.

I herd him tell Matthew what happened.

James and his mother and his father was riding home from the camp meeting when his father

says he sold out and they were moving West.

James said his mother got crazy. She said she

was tired of moving and had roots. She said if

she was moving anywhere, it was back east to

her family. His father said thar was better land

West, and she said it werent land he was after.

Her crying and his shouting made the horses

start running. They wud not stop. A wheel brok

off and the wagon turned over. God tuk mercy

on James and threw him on soft ground. But his

fathers head got cracked open like a melon and

his mother got crushed when the wagon rolled

over her.

I am sorry his mother and father are dead, but

I am not sorry James is with us. I hope he stays

forever.

When I grow up I am going to marry him.

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James let me sit with him today. He did not say

much to me and I did not know what to say to

him. I read him two chapters from Exodus about

Moses in the bullrushes and pharaoh’s daugher

finding him. James said thank you very much. He

took my hand and kissed it.

I will never wash my hand again as long as I live.

God says we are to love one another, but it is very

hard to love Lucas.

Lucas told Mama he wuz in the barn when I got

locked in the henhouse. He’s a liar. He always lies

and Mama is so good she dont know the difference. I saw Lucas close the door. I heard him

drop the bar. And I heard him laffing while I was

screaming at him to let me out. He knows I am

affeered of chickens.

Mama asked me why he wud do such a thing to

his sweet little sister. I said he done it because he

is mean. She said that was a very bad thing to say

about my own brother.

Sometimes Mama dont want to hear the truth

because then she will have to do something about it.

Matthew wud have done something. But Matthew

was out in the fields with Papa.

Sometimes I wish I was a boy so I could grow

big enuf to punch Lucas hard enuf to nock him

down like Matthew does. Lucas needs nockin

down.

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