The Scarlet Thread (38 page)

husband. Until death. Right now, she imagined Alex was wishing for hers. Not that she was feeling particularly fond of him,

either. But feelings didn’t make any difference.

She didn’t want to think about Alex now. She couldn’t and

continue to feel the sense of comfort and rightness she had experienced this morning. “Do not be anxious for tomorrow,” the

pastor had read this morning, and here she was obsessing again.

She couldn’t do anything about Alex or her marriage. But she

could
do something about herself and her circumstances.

Ron looked sick when he came in Monday morning. His eyes

were shadowed.

“Can we talk?” she said before he went into his office. He

paused and looked back at her bleakly. She didn’t have to say a

word. He knew.

“You’ve decided to quit.”

She blushed. “I’m sorry. I’ll stay until you can find a replacement.”

“And feel uncomfortable every minute,” he said, expression

grim. How odd that this man, after only a few months, could

know her better than Alex seemed to know her after thirteen

years of marriage. Ron knew her better than anyone, except her

mother.

“I knew when you left Friday this would happen. I talked with

Judy. She can stand in for you until I find a permanent replacement. What are you going to do?”

“I’m not sure yet. I think I’m going to sell the house.” It hadn’t

even occurred to her until that instant.

“Are you going home to Healdsburg?”

“No,” she said, surprising herself again. “I’m not sure what I’ll

do. I hadn’t even thought about it until now.”

“You never even guessed how I felt about you, did you?”

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“I should’ve waited a little longer.”

She met his gaze, her eyes compassionate. “It wouldn’t have

made any difference, Ron.”

“It would’ve made all the difference in the world.”

Looking into the blue depths of his eyes, she knew he was

right.
Thank you, God,
her heart breathed.
Thank you that Ron

waited. Thank you for sparing me and Ron from what could have been a

terrible mistake. And forgive me. All the while I was casting stones at

Alex, I was tumbling into the abyss myself.
“I’m married, Ron.”

“Until Alex can find a way out.”

His words hurt, for she knew Alex was doing everything he

could to gain that end. Every time he spoke with her, he felt the

need to drive home two facts: He wasn’t coming back, and he

didn’t love her anymore.

Regret washed over Ron’s face. “I didn’t say that to hurt you,

Sierra.”

“I know, but it does.”

“I’ll call you when it’s over.” He went into his office and closed

the door.

Gathering her things, Sierra left. On her way out, she gave

Arlene her ivy plant and a hug.

Instead of going home, she went to the mall. She bought a

cappuccino, sat on a bench next to a big fern, and watched the

hustle-bustle of people shopping. She supposed she had the

qualifications to be a clerk, but was that what she wanted to do?

Alex was sending a check once a month to cover expenses, and

every time she opened the envelope, she wilted at the sight of

his bold signature. Somehow, gut-level, she knew that check

wrote her off.

Not once in her life had she supported herself.
Father, can I do

this?
she prayed, feeling overwhelmed.

Ask and you shall receive, Daughter.

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The assurance washed over her, and she settled back, sipping

her cappuccino. She’d told Ron she was putting the house up

for sale. She didn’t know why she’d said that at the time, but

it seemed a good idea now that she thought about it. If she

remained where she was, it was certain she’d never be able to

handle the finances herself. House payments were bad enough,

but add to that the BMW payments and private school for the

children and the sum was far beyond any expectations of earnings she might have.

Sierra could see herself living out her life at the mailbox, waiting for whatever money Alex doled out to her. She could imagine

his resentment. He adored his children and wouldn’t begrudge a

dime to them, but every penny he sent for her support would be

another matter.

She spent the day wandering in the mall, thinking. When she

picked up the children, she took them to their favorite fast-food

restaurant. “I’ve decided to sell the house,” she told them, knowing her announcement was abrupt, but unable to think of any

other way to break the news of her decision to them.

“Are we going home to Windsor?” Clanton said.

“No. We’re going to look around San Fernando Valley and see

what we can find near the church. We might even look at condominiums. There’s a complex just down the street. I saw a swimming pool and tennis courts. We’ll have to see what we can

afford.”

“Can we still go to the same school?” Carolyn said.

“No, honey. It’s too expensive.” She didn’t want to ask Alex

for any more money than she had to. “It makes more sense to go

to a school in your own neighborhood.”

“So I won’t get to see Pamela?”

“You can see Pamela as often as we can arrange it, and you can

call her whenever you want.”

Sierra prayed that night, frightened by the speed with which

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faith and called Roberta Folse. She explained Alex had signed

the house over to her before leaving her. Roberta was sympathetic but warned her not to expect a profit.

“You haven’t been in the house long enough to build much equity, Sierra.”

“We decorated. Maybe that’ll help.”

“You’ll be lucky to break even. And then you’re going to have

to pay capital gains out of whatever you do get if you don’t reinvest in something of equivalent or higher value in eighteen

months. Is there any chance Alex will come back?”

“No.”

“If he’s keeping up the payments, you might do better staying

where you are. I’d love a commission, Sierra, but not at the expense of your well-being. Why don’t you take a few more days to

think things over and give me a call in another week or two?”

Sierra did take a few more days. She prayed over it. She talked

to Dennis and Noreen and got their opinion. The answer seemed

clear. She needed to stand on her own two feet, trust the Lord,

and stop depending on Alex. She called Roberta again.

Roberta came over the following afternoon.

“Oh, my word!” she said upon entering the house. “You didn’t

tell me Bruce Davies decorated your living room.”

Roberta’s remark absolved any doubts Sierra had ever had

about Bruce Davies leaving his own stamp on everything he did.

“Not just the living room, Roberta. The entire house.”

“The
entire
house?”

“Yes.”

“That must have cost you a bundle.” Roberta sat down on the

dark brown leather couch and put her briefcase carefully on the

thick glass-topped table.

Sierra grimaced, seeing how Roberta stared at the muraled

wall with a perplexed expression. It was one of the reasons she

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usually avoided the living room. “It’s one of Alex’s video games,”

she said.

“I’d swear there’s someone watching me.”

“There is. Actually, if you look at it long enough, you’ll see six

men and one woman hiding in that jungle. It’s called Camouflage. If I turn out the lights, their eyes glow red.”

“How much did you put into decorating the house?”

Sierra told her.

“We’ll add ten thousand to that and see what happens.”

Roberta called Saturday morning. “Be sure you take a look at the

Los Angeles Times
tomorrow morning.”

Sierra forgot all about it until Carolyn came in the next morning while she was blow-drying her hair. “Daddy’s on the phone,”

she said and held out the portable.

Surprised, Sierra shut off the dryer and took the phone, wondering why he was calling her so early on a Sunday. “Yes?”

“Is that our house on the cover of the real estate section?”

She could feel the heat of his anger through the wires. It all but

melted the telephone in her hand. Her defenses rose. She almost

reminded him he’d signed the house over to her, so it wasn’t
their

house anymore. It was
her
house. Instead, she managed a mild,

“Yes, it is.”

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“I can’t stay here, Alex. It’s too—”

“You’re not selling that house.”

“I have to move, Alex. I’ve thought it all over and—”

“You have to move where?” he sneered. “To Healdsburg so I’ll

never see my children again! Over my dead body, Sierra! You

hear me?” He swore at her in Spanish. He used a word so foul

her face heated.

“I hear you, Alex, but I’m not—”

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again, he blistered her with the same accusations Audra had leveled at her a few weeks earlier, only adding personal and private

faults on top. If Audra’s words had shocked, Alex’s battered and

bruised. He meant to annihilate her, and he was doing a good job

of it. He spoke in Spanish, which made it all the worse. He never

spoke Spanish unless his emotions were out of control. Unfortunately, she understood every single word he said.

“I’ve called my attorney,” he said, falling back into crisp English again. “I’m going to fight you, Sierra. No matter what it

takes, I’m not letting you walk away with my children. I’m sick

of this situation. I’m sick of
you!”
He told her she could hold her

breath until Hades froze over before he’d send her another dime.

“It’s bad enough Clanton won’t talk to me. Now you think you

can put four hundred miles between me and my daughter!”

He took a breath, and into that brief space of time Sierra said

with miraculous calm, “We aren’t moving north, Alex.”

“Where then? East? New York, maybe? That’s three thousand miles instead of four hundred. Or Hawaii. Right! Hawaii.

That’s it. That’d put an ocean between us!”

The storm of his anger blew about her like a tornado around a

bruised reed. “I’m hoping to buy a condo in Northridge.”

Silence.

She looked in the mirror and wondered how much makeup it

would take to put color back in that stranger’s face. Looking

away, she swallowed hard before she tried to say anything else.

“I have to go,” she said quietly, trying to keep her voice steady.

“Church starts in less than an hour.” She took a slow breath,

squelching the desire to cry. She had cried enough over the past

few years. Buckets of tears. Mostly for herself. “Alex, I promise

you’ll know everything as we do it. Clanton and Carolyn will

never be out of your reach. I promise.”

Pressing the button, she set the telephone on the bathroom

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