The Scarlet Thread (34 page)

they battened down the sails, and Ron used the engine to bring

them to dock.

“We had a wonderful time, Ron,” Marcia said, kissing his

cheek while the children gathered their things. While Tom shook

hands with him, Marcia turned to Sierra and gave her a hug.

“Sorry I made a scene below,” she said, kissing her cheek. “I’ll

call you tomorrow.” Sierra saw her take the car keys from Tom’s

hand as they headed for the parking lot.

Ron took Sierra and the children to an expensive seafood restaurant. He laughed when Clanton and Carolyn both ordered

hamburgers. Over dinner, he talked about sailing to the South

Seas and spending two years exploring islands that were barely a

spot on a map. Clanton was enthralled; Carolyn, quiet.

It was late when Ron finally pulled up in front of Sierra’s

house. She was sorry the day was over. The children had fallen

asleep in the backseat of his Mercedes. They’d only lasted fifteen

minutes from the restaurant before dozing off and leaving her

and Ron to talk alone. And talk they did, about everything from

his travels to her growing up in a quiet country town to racial

prejudice, social climbing, education, and the importance of family. He’d grown up the only son of a Greek businessman and a

Swedish actress. His mother died in a car accident when he was

only fourteen. “My father never got over her death,” he said quietly. “Now he’s gone, too. I’m the only family I’ve got left. And I

find myself craving the connection of family all the time.” He

smiled at her in the darkness. “All in God’s timing,” he said.

Sierra couldn’t help feeling a twinge of jealousy. The woman

he married would be lucky indeed. She didn’t know anyone as

caring and sensitive to others as Ron Peirozo.

He turned off the ignition, then glanced into the backseat. He

chuckled. “If you have a wheelbarrow in the garage, I’ll unload

your children for you.”

Sierra laughed. “I may have to take you up on that offer.” She

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sleepyheads. We’re home.”

As she unlocked the front door, she heard the children thanking Ron for taking them sailing. Clanton asked if they could go

again. “Sure,” Ron said, a hand on his shoulder. “I’m out as often

as I can be when the weather’s like this.”

As the children shouldered their tote bags and headed down

the hallway to their rooms, Ron turned to her again. His

mouth tipped slightly as he reached out and lightly brushed

her cheek with the back of his knuckles. “You got a little color

today.”

Ron always knew what to say to make her feel better about

herself. “Maybe I’ll actually look like a southern Californian one

of these days,” she smiled, drawn to him.

“You look just fine the way you are, Sierra.”

He couldn’t have said anything kinder. Bruised and battered

by Alex’s desertion, she believed herself a complete failure as a

wife, as a mother, and as a woman. Looking into Ron’s eyes, she

saw he valued her. She wanted to thank him for everything—for

taking them sailing, for sharing so much of himself with her, for

listening, for caring. She felt closer to him than she had felt to

anyone in a long, long time.

An inexplicable shiver of alarm raced along her nerve endings

at the realization.

His eyes flickered, and the warmth that stirred within her had

little to do with sunburn.

He took a slow step back. “I’ll see you Monday morning,” he

said, his smile both casual and tender. He closed the door behind

him as he went out.

Disturbed, Sierra frowned, perplexed by her feelings. What

had just happened? Was she so desperate to feel like a woman

again that she could imagine a man like Ronal Peirozo was attracted to her? Ridiculous! The poor man had only been acting

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out of kindness and friendship. There was no reason to read anything more into it.

Stepping to the door, she opened it. “Ron!”

He paused halfway down the pathway.

“Thank you,” she said, smiling.

“Any time.”

Feeling a little better, she stood in the doorway until he got into

his Mercedes. He gave her a wave as he pulled away from the curb.

Closing the door, she set the dead bolt. Gathering her things,

she headed down the hallway to say good night to the children

before she took a shower and went to bed.

Deborah is feverish and complaining of stomach

pain.

I asked if she had eaten anything along the way

and she says no. She has suffered often of stomach

aches when she eats too many berries. The pain

seems worse on her right side. I have bedded her

down in the wagon where it is less dusty and am

sitting with her until the fever lets up. Reese

Murphy is looking in on her again in a little while.

I am so afraid and I do not know what I fear

most. In the beginning, I thought it was just anger

plaguing me. I was wrong. It was fear underneath.

I knew what I had back home. I knew the face of

my enemy. Out here, I do not know from one day

to the next where the danger lies. It could be a fall

from a wagon seat or a snake. It could be Indians or

sickness. Or being tired unto death.

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of it. They are the ones hauling the wagons across

the rivers. They were the ones lowering the wagons down that dreadful hill. They are the ones digging the graves. But it is the men too who dream of

Oregon. It is as though Heaven itself beckons

them and we must all cross hell to get to it.

Aphie McKenzie. Harlan Doane. Paul

Colvigne. Three gone already. I think of the hard

trail and how many wagons will pass over these

fine people and never know of their existence.

How many more will we bury before we reach

our destination?

I am afraid for my baby.

I dreamed of Aunt Martha last night. She seemed

so close. We talked as we used to do. I wept when

I awakened. Has she died? Is that why I dreamed

about her? Is that why she seemed so near to me?

Oh, that she were here with me now. The thought

of never seeing her again makes my heart ache

and my throat close up. When my father turned

me out, she took me in and loved me. When

I jilted Thomas, she loved me still. Even when

I said I did not believe in God anymore, she did

not forsake me. She cried but she did not turn me

out. She said she loved me no matter what. I have

never known anyone so good and kind and constant.

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She said she would pray for me every day.

I know she is a woman of her word. I think of her

every day and feel perhaps in thoughts at least we

are still connected.

I wish I could ask her right now to send up

prayers to heaven on behalf of my little Deborah.

God would listen to her.

Our precious little Deborah is gone from this life.

Doc Murphy did no good at all. Neither could

Kavanaugh with his Indian medicines. I hope the

next life is better. She passed away last night as

the sun was setting on the bluffs above us. They

look like the ancient ruins of a once wondrous

city. I will think of her playing up there with the

angels.

I cannot cry. I cannot let myself. If I do, I will

never stop.

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16

T H E T E L E P H O N E R A N G O N S I E R R A ’ S D E S K .

Flipping over the page on her notebook, she picked it up. “Good

afternoon, Los Angeles Outreach,” she said pleasantly, hoping

Arlene would return from her dentist appointment soon. The

telephone hadn’t stopped ringing since she left, and Ron was

champing at the bit to get some dictation done.

“Sierra, it’s Audra.”

Startled, she stammered an innocuous hello, irritation quickly

following. What did
she
want?

“How are you?”

How
was
she? “About as well as can be expected.”

“Can we have lunch?”

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would even ask. What were they going to talk about? Shopping?

Audra’s charities or the plays she’d seen? Beyond Tomorrow?

Alex and Elizabeth Longford?

“Are you really going to throw in the towel?” Audra said.

Sierra’s body went hot. “I beg your pardon?” Of all the nerve!

“Your marriage. Are you just going to quit?”

“I don’t think it’s any of your business.”

“Steve asked me to call you.”

“Should I care?”

“So much for having any kind of reasonable conversation with

you!” There was enough anger in Audra’s tone to keep Sierra

from hanging up. “Do you think any of us are happy with this situation? It makes me sick! It makes Steve and Matt sick. It’s the

worst thing that can happen in an office.”

So that was it! “What’s the matter? Is the work suffering?”

“You could say that. Everyone’s suffering.”

“Maybe you should talk to Elizabeth about that.”

“Elizabeth isn’t the problem!”

“Good-bye.” Sierra slammed the telephone down, shaking

with fury. It rang again in less than ten seconds. Taking a deep

breath, she forced herself to be calm and businesslike. “Good

afternoon, Los Angeles Outreach.”

“Well, that was childish,” Audra said. “But then, that’s where

you excel, isn’t it, Sierra?”

Sierra’s heart pounded like a war drum. She wanted to hang

up on her again, but that was what Audra was expecting. The

last thing Sierra intended to do was what Audra expected

or wanted. Picking up her pencil, she tapped it on the notepad,

trying to calm down, determined to wait her out.

Audra let out her breath. “I should’ve known you wouldn’t listen. I told Steve there was no use in trying to talk to you. You’ve

been hostile from the first second I met you. Every overture I

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ever made to be your friend was met with a cold shoulder. You

always acted as though I was beneath contempt. You’ve done

nothing but criticize me and everyone else at Beyond Tomorrow

from the day you arrived. And why? Because you were so determined to stay in your narrow little comfort zone!

“Three years I’ve watched you wallow in self-pity and keep up

your temper tantrum. And it’s been something to watch, Sierra.

A real show! I can’t even count the number of times I’ve wanted

to shake you until your teeth rattled!

“You’ve made Alex feel guilty over everything, especially the

crime of using his talents. God forbid that he should be happy in

his work! Not once did you ever think to congratulate him for

what he’s accomplished. He buys you a house. He buys you a

car. Were you ever grateful for anything he did? Did you ever

once
notice how desperate he was to make you happy? You resented anything he did that didn’t put you in the center spotlight.

You even resent who he
is.
And you’re surprised the man turns

to another woman!”

Sierra felt cold with shock over Audra’s diatribe. She couldn’t

even think of one word to say in her own defense.

Audra let out a deep breath. “I swore I wasn’t going to lose my

temper, and now I have. Well, so be it. I called to give you some

advice, Sierra. Here’s a piece of it.
Grow up!”
Sierra heard the

click as Audra hung up. Stunned, she put the receiver quietly

back in the cradle. Ron was standing in the doorway. He looked

as upset as she felt.

“Why do you keep holding on?” he said softly.

She started to tell him the call wasn’t from Alex, but he came

over to the desk. “You’re not in love with him anymore, Sierra.”

Wasn’t she? Had she stopped loving Alex? She couldn’t fathom

the idea. She’d loved him for as long as she could remember.

Ron leaned down and put one hand firmly over hers. “Give

him a divorce, Sierra. You don’t need him.” His eyes were

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