The School Gates (20 page)

‘I had no idea you lived in this area,’ Mo piped up.

‘Well, why would you?’ Charlie said nonchalantly. ‘I’ve just moved down south. Was in Liverpool for a good while. Met Penny on holiday in Corfu and this is where life has taken me. I’ve lain my hat in a few places but I like it round ’ere. Green and serene. The haves and the have lots.’ He laughed again.

‘Right, I’m not staying for the boring talk,’ he said then. ‘I’m off to the pub, me. Penny thinks I’m here till nine so that gives me a couple of hours’ grace.’

‘What are you like?’ Mo smiled.

‘Same as I ever was.’ He winked at her again and she felt a feeling she hadn’t felt for quite some time. ‘Fancy joining me, ladies?’

‘You’re all right, Charlie,’ Mo replied.

‘And make sure you mix it with a slimline,’ Joan added.

And then he was gone.

– Chapter Seventeen –

Dana shivered. Tony took off his scarf and wrapped it gently around her neck. ‘Mi tesoro, keep yourself warm. It is very cold today.’

They started walking up the big hill towards her house.

‘It would be wrong if anyone saw us together.’ Dana breathed out cold air into the darkness. ‘And I can’t invite you in.’

‘It is dark, my lovely. No one can see us and we are just work colleagues, that is all.’

‘Somehow I don’t think Mark would see it like that. He has always been incredibly jealous.’

‘Then we shall definitely make sure you don’t get in trouble.’ He herded her through the park gates to their left.

Dana giggled. ‘You make me feel twenty-five again, Tony

Rosco.’

‘But you are twenty-five, silly.’

‘I know. I know. But being with an older man makes you act older, do older things. I mean, I can’t remember the last time I went out and really let my hair down.’

‘Your husband, he is not that old.’

‘I know, I guess you just get into a rut.’

‘Well if you were mine I would make sure you were happy all the time and our hair would be forever let down.’ He shook out his pony tail and kissed her gently on the forehead.

‘Here, let’s go on the swings.’ Tony took her hand and began to drag her across the park.

‘I can’t see a thing,’ Dana screeched.

“It’s fine. I have a torch in my bag.’

He held a swing still for Dana to get on and sat on the one next to her.

‘And I also have a little warmer for us both.’ He handed her a miniature of Amaretto. ‘This is the drink of love in my eyes.’

‘Well, don’t look at me with Amaretto in your eyes, I am a happily married woman.’

‘Are you really, Dana?’

Dana loved the way he said her name. Not Dar-nar, the way it should be pronounced but Danna.

‘I thought I was – until this morning that was actually.’ She took a slurp and started to swing slowly. ‘I’m not sure what I want any more. Don’t get me wrong – I lead a blessed life. I have a beautiful son, a kind husband and lovely house, and I don’t have to work if I don’t want to. I have been yearning for a baby because I have struggled to have one, but now I’m not sure if that is what I am really yearning for at all.

‘My life hasn’t panned out as I wanted it to,’ she went on. ‘I never really achieved my dreams as Tommy came along when I was just so young.’

‘But think on the positive side: when you are just forty,

your youngster will be twenty and you will have a new life ahead of you. And you will be able to follow your dreams as far as you want them to go,’ Tony chipped in.

‘You’re right, and even if I was blessed to have another child at twenty-five, I know I am still young.’ She started swinging harder. ‘Oh. I don’t know, Tony. I am content, I guess.’

‘But is content really enough? Do you still love your Husband. Dana?’

She hesitated. ‘Yes, I do, but…’

Tony leaped off his swing, slowed hers, got on his knees and pulled her to him.

‘Do you love him enough to let me do this?’ He moved her scarf and kissed her gently on the neck. She bit her lip with pleasure.

‘Or this?’ He lifted her face and put his soft lips on hers. She could taste the sweetness of the Amaretto and smell the deep musk of his Italian aftershave. She couldn’t resist. It was the softest, most passionate kiss she had experienced in a while.

Did other people still kiss when they were married? she wondered. Because she couldn’t remember the last time she had properly kissed Mark. Lately, everything had been purely functional. The act of making a baby without making love.

‘Oh my God!’ Dana pulled away. ‘Look, there are two lights bobbing about over there.’

Tony flashed his torch. ‘It’s fine, rosa mia, it is just two people walking around the outside path.’

‘In this weather? We must go. I can’t be seen here with you.’

‘Dana Knight, you are such a worrier. I doubt if Mark has sent in a private detective, yet.’ He lifted her chin and smiled at her. ‘Mama mia, I’m crazy for you, my little Czech princess.’

Robbie had been an angel to babysit Eliska at such short notice, but once she had made her mind up, there was just no stopping Alana Murray.

Since her row with Stephen, he had refused to talk to her. He had terminated the contract with SM Public Relations via Sandra, his PA, and just sent an email saying that he would work out a maintenance sum for Eliska, and maybe Alana had been right that announcing he was the child’s father would not be a good thing.

It had been an immense relief knowing that Bruno always used condoms. Bless Dana for being so outspoken and in a way so bloody thoughtful. She had to believe that was true, and to be honest, if Bruno was so free with his favours, it made sense that he should be careful. Especially as he had had a scare once already.

Maybe, just maybe now she had learned her lesson too!

Her mind was made up. She was keeping this baby and against all the odds that were currently stacked against her, she was hellbent on keeping her man too.

She had managed to find Stephen’s address on an old email from years ago. She had got good at stalking, these past few weeks. Analysing former emails, trying to glean meanings from online conversations they had had. He did care about her – she knew it.

It took her about an hour to drive to Chiswick. She parked on the road alongside a beautifully kept three-storey townhouse. His car was there and the outside light was on. She could see a candle burning through the half-closed shutters in the front room.

Oh, God, what if he had company? She hadn’t thought of that. She bloody hoped not, what with it being Valentine’s Day tomorrow as well. OK, maybe she should ring him first. Just say “I’m outside – may I come in?” But what if he said no? She had driven all this way. No, that was it. Mind made up, she would ring the doorbell.

She had put on a plain black shift dress with colourful chunky jewellery. She had intended to wear jeans, but her three – month bump was just becoming evident and she didn’t want to feel uncomfortable. It was going to be difficult enough as it was. Be nice, she said to herself as the bell rang throughout the house.

‘Coming!’ Stephen’s voice echoed down the hall, as if he was expecting someone.

‘Alana? I was expecting an Indian take-away.’

She had to laugh. ‘Well, sorry it’s just me, and not a Ruby Murray.’

‘Very good.’ He had always loved her quick wit. ‘You’d better come in.’ He waited while she shrugged off her coat and put it on the French antique rack in the hall.

Alana took in her surroundings. Beautiful Victorian parquet flooring led through to a wonderful long kitchen with a modern glass table at the end, set beside patio doors. Candles were burning everywhere, even out on the decked patio area at the back, despite it being just 5 degrees.

Classical music was playing in the background and an open fire was burning in the decadent lounge which she had walked past to get through to the kitchen.

‘You have a beautiful home.’ She clocked a lovely picture of Susan and Stephen on their wedding day on the side.

The doorbell rang again.

‘Must be the curry, hang on a sec. Glass of wine?’

‘No, thanks. Have you got any juice?’

‘Alana Murray, turning down wine? Are you ill?

‘I’m driving, Stephen.’

‘Hmm. Well, that doesn’t usually stop you.’

‘I’ve changed.’

‘What – that big suction machine has come and sucked all the spots off , has it?’

‘It’s having a good old go.’

Stephen started getting his dinner out of the containers.

‘Look. I miss you, Stephen. You can’t just block me out. I mean, now you know about Eliska, don’t you want to stay in my life so you can at least share the joy of her? I even work from home two days a week now so I can do the school runs. We are getting on so much better and I am already considering a decent summer holiday for us both – despite having to take the time to pitch for a new PR agency, of course.’

‘See? I knew you would have to get a dig in about that somewhere. Here, have some food.’ He handed her a fork and a plate. ‘There’s plenty here for two.’

‘I just don’t understand your actions, Stephen. If I did then maybe it would be easier for me to deal with the situation.’

‘I’ve already explained, Alana. I blame myself for Susan’s death. If she hadn’t seen Eliska, she would never have felt the way she did, I know it. You are my direct link to Eliska so I figure every time I see you, I will always be reminded of Susan and what happened.’ He clenched his jaw.

‘Oh, Stephen. But I think our relationship is too special to just throw away.’

‘Our relationship was sexual, Alana. Period.’

‘But we have a child! Surely that counts for something?’

‘Everything is just so raw, Lani.’ He bit his lip and held back tears. ‘I miss her so much. I come back here to our beautiful home and she is everywhere and nowhere, and the pain of that is so intense that I can’t explain it. It’s like I don’t want to be anywhere. I don’t mean that I would take my own life. But it’s just I am so miserable in the place I am in at the moment and I cannot see a way of getting out of it.

‘I hate waking up because I know she won’t be here and

I’ve got that whole day of her not being here in front of me, and then when the day is over, that’s even worse because I eat alone and sleep alone and after twenty years of sharing that with her, it bloody hurts.’

Alana had tears streaming down her face. How could she tell him about the baby? Or maybe this was the raison d’etre he needed to pull him out of his depression.

She got up and walked around the table, stood behind him put her arms around his shoulders. Sobbing, he turned around and pulled her to him tightly, nestling his head in her breasts.

Coming to his senses, he sat up, pushed her gently away and took a large gulp of his red wine.

‘God, you’re such a bitch, Lani, but underneath it I know you’re not all that bad. I also know that you’re pregnant.’

It was Alana’s turn to stand up, take a deep breath and a big gulp of her orange juice.

‘Who told you?’ She was flabbergasted.

‘Nobody bloody told me, you silly woman. Those gnat bites of yours swelled to baby melons last time and the simple fact, despite you denying it, it is the only time you have ever stopped drinking before in your life. I take it you know who the father is?’

‘What do you take me for? Of course I do.’

Stephen banged his hand down so hard on the table it made Alana jump. ‘Stop playing your stupid fucking games with me this time. Just tell me – is it mine or not?’ She had never heard him so angry.

‘Y...y-yes, it’s yours,’ she whispered.

‘How far gone are you?’

‘Almost twelve weeks. I have the scan booked for next Tuesday at the private clinic in Thewkesbury.’

‘So still plenty of time to get rid of it then?’ Stephen said matter of factly.

Alana bit her lip and ran her hands through her hair.

‘Don’t tell me you hadn’t thought of that option because I know you so well, Alana Murray.’

‘I actually made up my mind today that I wanted to keep it and that’s why I’m here. I felt you should know. I realise the timing is bad as you are grieving. But, with or without you, I’ve been blessed enough to be given the chance of the gift of life again and I am going to take it, with arms outstretched.

‘I know I haven’t always been the best mother to Eliska, but things are going to change from now on. This is the new start I needed.’

Stephen put his hand to his head. ‘I just can’t believe I could be so naïve twice. But, it takes two to tango, I guess. Look, I need to get my head around this. Please – just go. I’ll be in touch.’

Alana went to say something and thought against it. She

Had known the news wouldn’t be taken with outstretched arms and hugs and kisses. But, he hadn’t told her to piss off totally and that was as good as she was going to get for now.

Stephen saw her to the door. He looked at her tummy.