The SEAL Next Door (Alpha SEALs Book 5) (11 page)

Matthew tried to look away as Brianna slipped off her beach cover-up half an hour later, revealing a red string bikini.  Hell. 
That’s
what she was wearing snorkeling today?  The top barely covered her full breasts, which were prominently on display as she bent over to retrieve her sunscreen from the sand.  The skimpy bottoms were tied with red bows at her curvy hips, and the tiny patch of fabric barely covered that sweet spot he’d sunk into last night and finally tasted this morning.  Straight blonde hair fell past her shoulders, and when she stood back up, she pulled it into some kind of twist atop her head, her breasts rising with the movement.

He looked out at the ocean, his groin tightening, and pulled his shirt from over his head.  He’d felt nothing but guilty since leaving after breakfast this morning.  As soon as he’d walked back over to his parents’ house it had been a crash back into reality.  He’d had to tell his parents the news about Beckett, confirm his ride out of here tonight, and be ready for training bright and early in the morning.  He had half a mind to cancel on Brianna completely, avoiding temptation.  But hell.  He cared about her.  And that was why he’d had to apologize and let her know that taking things to the next level had been a colossal mistake.

A light breeze blew in off the water, and it was a crystal clear day, as perfect as they come.  The chance of a rainstorm later this afternoon was slim, but he figured they’d be finished snorkeling long before then anyway.  And after that, he’d be packing his things to get the hell out of dodge.  He’d dreaded coming home for weeks—dreaded facing his best friend.  Now an entire new host of worries churned through him: Brianna’s safety when she was out.  Beckett’s recovery from his suicide attempt.

Lots of men and women in the military ended up with PTSD, and that could mess with your mind.  Or he could have been depressed at the loss of his limb or in too much pain.  Once Matthew got settled back in at Little Creek he’d make a trip up to Walter Reed.  If his buddy needed his support, he’d be there.  Every damn weekend if he had to be.

Funny that now he dreaded leaving town when less than forty-eight hours ago he couldn’t wait to get the hell out of here.  His entire life had been rocked to the core after everything with Brianna—witnessing the man attacking her at the bar, feeling like his heart was being ripped out as she cried in fear, and then ending up spending the night with her safe in his arms.  Almost as if it was right where she belonged.  The weekend had been a whirlwind of emotions, and he didn’t know how else to leave but to let her know that they were better off just being friends.  What else could he do?  He had to return to Little Creek.  He deployed all the time.  And breaking up would hurt a hell of a lot more later.

He eyed the reef out in the distance, hoping Brianna would be okay to swim out there with her snorkeling gear.  Maybe he should’ve rented a boat, but he’d been flying by the seat of his pants ever since first spotting Bri at the bar last night.  Hell, he barely knew up from down at the moment with the chaotic thoughts churning through his head.

He walked back over to where Brianna was currently smoothing sunscreen down her arms.  God damn she was beautiful.  And he shouldn’t even touch her.

He cleared his throat, and she glanced over at him, her mouth slightly parting.  He couldn’t see her eyes from behind the oversized sunglasses she wore, but he had a feeling she was upset.  Whether with him, her brother, or the asshole from last night, he wasn’t entirely sure.  She’d sure the hell seemed happy this morning, despite the circumstances.  After their brief chat in her living room a little while ago though, she’d been distant and aloof.  Which meant all signs pointed to him.

The trouble was, everything he wanted to do to fix it, to make it up to her, was impossible.

“I meant to tell you, I called the police station earlier,” he said, his voice gruff.

“You did?  They called me this morning.”

Matthew stiffened.  “What did they say?”

“Just that they’re holding him until the trail.  They have, uh, footage of the incident.”  She looked away from him, back out at the water, biting her lower lip. Matthew longed to skim his thumb across it.  To pull her into his arms and kiss away all the unhappiness she was feeling.  To make her forget, as she’d begged him last night.

“You didn’t say anything.  I was worried they’d let that asshole out on bail.”

Brianna shrugged.  “They called half an hour before you came over.  I figured I’d tell you then, but you wanted to talk….”

Matthew nodded.  Some jerk he was.  Had he even asked her how she was feeling this morning?  He’d been so hell-bent on hearing her cry out his name again as he made her come, on tasting the sweetness of her swollen flesh, that he hadn’t bothered to check on her actual well-being.  It was a dick move, and he knew it.

“I’m glad that jerk’s in jail.  I was worried about leaving town if he was out on bail.”

“I don’t work there anymore.  It’s not like he can find me.  It was just being in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“I still wish I wasn’t so far away.  Beckett’s not here, and I’m based up in Little Creek.  I’d have to catch a flight just to get down here.”

“We both knew you were leaving tonight.  Don’t make a bigger deal out of it than it is.”  She turned and picked up the snorkeling gear they’d rented, but he could hear the hurt in her voice.  Had spending the night with him hurt her?  Or just his bumbled apology saying it had all been a mistake?

“Bri….”

“Should we go snorkeling or what?” she asked, refusing to meet his gaze.  “You have to leave later on.  I have to—well, find a job for starters.  Call my parents again to check on Beckett.  Deal with the police and whatever comes from that.  Look for an apartment.  I have enough to worry about.”

Without you.

Matthew blew out a sigh.  He deserved her coldness.  Hell, he deserved a lot worse than that.  “The reef’s way out there,” he said, pointing to where some people stood in the distance.  “Are you okay to swim out that far with our gear?”

Brianna glanced out to where he was pointing, a look of hesitation crossing over her face.

“We don’t have to go.  I should’ve rented a boat for us to go snorkeling today.”

“No, I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

Brianna rolled her eyes.  “Look, I’m not a freaking Navy SEAL, but I can swim, Matthew.  We grew up together, remember?  Spent every summer out on the water?”

“I care about you,” he said, hating that she stood a few feet away from him.  She belonged in his arms, not off to the side suddenly looking distant and cold.  He’d done that though—he’d been the one to put a wall between them when he showed up at her door earlier.  They shouldn’t have crossed the line in the first place, but now that they had, was he wrong to pretend nothing had changed?  To try to go back to how things used to be between them?

“Yeah, I get that.  We’re friends, remember?”

“I’m sorry about before.  About everything.”

“You said that already.  Let’s go before we run out of time.  You’re leaving in a few hours.”  She turned and stalked off toward the water, if a woman could do that in a skimpy bikini.  Her hips swished back and forth, and it was all he could do not to claim her again right there.  To kiss her and caress her, to haul her back home and make love to her all day.  To go AWOL and miss his damn flight home tonight.

His gut churned as he grabbed his gear and hustled after Brianna.  He’d already made enough mistakes this weekend.  He sure the hell didn’t need to add one more to his list.  Maybe he’d hurt her, but it would hurt a hell of a lot worse when he wasn’t around.  If they were together but she was always waiting, wondering where he was and when he’d return, she’d understand.  It was better to break things off now before they really got started.  To go back to being friends.

The only trouble was, he wasn’t sure if he could manage that.

***

Brianna muttered under her breath as she tripped over her flippers in the shallow water and ungracefully fell over with a splash.  The school of fish scattered in the clear, turquoise waters, and she tried to remember why she’d enjoyed this when she was younger.  Or why she’d agreed to go snorkeling with Matthew today.  She was supposed to be celebrating her brother’s long-awaited homecoming, spending the day with family, not out here making a fool of herself.  She didn’t even have her phone with her in case her parents needed to reach her or someone else contacted her from the police station.  She supposed that Matthew had thought this would be a fun distraction from what was going on at the moment, but her mind was on everything but the fish she was supposed to be admiring.

Chunks of shells cut against her hands as she struggled to push herself back up, and a strand of hair fell into her face.  Maybe flippers were good for swimming, but they were pretty lousy for attempting to walk around in.  No one else seemed to be having as much trouble as her though.

She lost her footing again as she tried to stand, dropping her goggles and snorkel into the water, which she’d long since pulled from her face.

“I got you,” a deep voice said, and suddenly Matthew’s strong hands were wrapping around her waist, lifting her back onto her feet.  He held her directly in front of him, his chest to her back, and the feel of his fingers against her bare flesh sent tingles rushing down her arms and warmth coiling in her belly.  She froze, not daring to move.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine,” she said stiffly, pulling his hands from her waist and awkwardly turning to face him.  Droplets of water ran down his bronzed skin, and she tried not to stare at his wall of muscles.  At those wide shoulders, broad pecs, and eight-pack abs.  Or into those deep green eyes.  Jesus Christ.  The man had been
inside
her last night, and now he was just standing there acting like everything was fine and it was cool that they were back to being just friends.  He’d barely even spoken to her since they’d made it out to the reef aside from giving her a few brief instructions on snorkeling.

Which hadn’t helped, since she kept tripping in the damn flippers.

It almost felt like the awkward morning-after talk had been postponed until this afternoon.  Except instead of one of them sneaking away at the break of dawn, they’d decided to spend the day together.  And it wouldn’t have been miserable if he hadn’t insisting on drawing the line on where things stood between them.  On reminding her that he was the man she could never be with.  She never should have come to the beach with him after that little chat.  If anything, she should have shown him the door.  Maybe he hadn’t been taking advantage of her, but after that conversation?  She felt even worse than she had last night.

Glancing over, she watched her mask and snorkel bobbing up and down beside her.  She’d had just about enough of this day.

Matthew snagged her mask from the water as a young couple near them happily splashed around, snapping pictures with a waterproof camera.  As they stood back up, laughing, Brianna burst into tears.

“Hey,” Matthew said, stepping closer.  He cupped her cheek with one hand and brushed the tears away with his thumb.  “Don’t cry.”

“Let’s just call it a day,” Brianna said miserably.

“You want me to take you home?”

“Yeah, let’s just go,” she said, her voice cracking.  “I want to go home.”

“Why are you crying?” he asked gently.

She looked up at him helplessly through watery eyes.  “I just—this just wasn’t a good idea.”

“I care about you.  I’m sorry for botching things up earlier, but I’d never want to hurt you.”

“You have a strange way of showing it,” she whispered.

Matthew’s eyes blazed, and then suddenly he ducked down and kissed her, stealing her breath.  His hot lips moved over her mouth like a man starved, and his hands pulled her closer.  She tasted the saltiness of her tears and a hint of mint and musk that was pure Matthew.  His hands moved to her waist, a second later he was hauling her up into his arms.  Her ill-fitting flippers slid off, and she wrapped her legs around him, feeling the thick length of his erection right at her core.  She gasped as he held her against him, his arms snaring so tightly around her, she was sure this time he’d never let her go.

“I’m taking you home,” he said between kisses, his voice gravel.  “And making love to you for the rest of the afternoon.  I thought I should stay away from you, but I just can’t.”

“Yes,” she whimpered, letting his tongue penetrate her mouth and sweep inside.  He thrust into her mouth slowly, letting her know exactly what he wished they were doing right now.  She didn’t even care if other people were watching, she needed Matthew as much as she needed her next breath.

He supported her weight with one muscular forearm and snagged her flippers from the water’s surface.  In an instant, he’d turned and was walking them back the way they’d come earlier as if he did that sort of thing every day.  Maybe he did.  She didn’t care about anything else as the water lapped around her and Matthew held her securely against his hard body.  He strode onto the shore a few minutes later, kicking his flippers off when they passed the water line.

“I can stand,” she gasped between kisses.