The Second Chance Hero (16 page)

Kim leaned against the passenger door, the cold glass soothing her throbbing head. All she wanted was to be happy. That was all. She didn’t need billions of dollars or mansions. She just needed someone who would treat her like she knew what she was doing.

No doubt about it, she felt safe and cared for with Owen. She loved his brains, his sense of humor, his inner goodness, but she didn’t love that he threw up a screen because he thought something would be too tough for her to handle. If they were going to make it, they would have to handle much worse.

At some point the ride home became a blur, and all Kim wanted was to feel Owen’s touch. Feel his kiss. She was so angry with him, yet that was all she could think about. Already, she physically hurt from missing him. The tears kept coming because when he said he loved her, Kim knew he said it from his heart.

But what did it mean if she couldn’t trust him?

When they pulled into the driveway, Owen put the car in park, and neither of them spoke. The tension was palpable. “Kim, is there any chance we can talk this out? I don’t want to leave you like this.”

“I’ll be fine, and I won’t be alone, okay? But as much as you tempt me, and you do, I can’t be with you right now, Owen. No matter how much I want it.”

Kim was out of the car before Owen could even open his door, but she heard his footsteps following her down the walk. When Harper intercepted them at the steps to the deck and Kim could make out Joey and Jenna sitting on the cottage’s front porch, she stopped and faced him.

“I’m good, Owen.”

She took a step and he caught her hand, pulling her back. His hands came to her face, gentle, sweet. The feel of him touched her right to her core. No one ever made her feel like he did, and no one ever would again. He kissed her forehead, whispered against it. “Please don’t let this be over. Please.”

Unable to make eye contact, Kim lifted her hands to his chest and gently pushed herself away from him.

“I have to go.”

He stepped back. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice hoarse with emotion, as Kim continued down the path to the cottage.

She couldn’t say anything else. Everything hurt. Absolutely everything.

Joey stepped off the porch, looped her arm around Kim’s shoulder, and walked her inside.

***

Owen watched the love of his life walk away. Just walk away because he’d been an idiot.

He took out his phone to text Nate and Jason about going out on the boat tomorrow, but instead decided he needed the time alone to clear his head.

God knew he still needed to shake out the past year. He definitely wasn’t acclimating to home as easily as he’d done in the past, and part of that had to do with Kim. The woman had him twisted up in knots. He thought about her all the time. Wanted to see her, make her part of his life. When he looked at her he saw his future. Everything was laid out right in front of him . . . her, kids, his friends, his business. It was all there and she was at the center for him. The center of everything he wanted.

He’d always prided himself on keeping his life simple, but getting involved with Kim Torres had mucked up the works.

What told him that he would never be the same was that he wouldn’t have changed anything, even if he could. He was in love with her. No doubt. No question. She was everything, and Owen had to find a way to make her understand that he needed her.

He drove home on autopilot, put the car in the garage, and after taking care of the dog, he went to bed.

But Owen didn’t sleep. He laid in his bed thinking about Kim, wondering if he’d blown his chance, wondering what he could do to fix it. He heard his tablet ping and grabbed it from his nightstand. One of Kim’s hair ties was stuck to the Velcro on the case. It was blue, and when Owen twirled it between his fingers, he visualized her playing with that mess of brown hair in the morning, running her fingers through it and pulling it all into a ponytail. The faintest scent of flowers lingered on the comforter and he felt her against him, curled up, purring softly in sleep.

He’d fucked up so bad. He didn’t know if there were words for it.

“Work the problem, Kent. Work it.” But there was no easy answer for this, no fix. He had to wait out Kim.

He opened the tablet and checked his e-mail. Nothing from Kim. Instead, he found something from a buddy of his asking if he was going to accept the voluntary assignment to assist with the drawdown. He’d been asked to go back to Kandahar in July and stay for two months. He’d be there during the hell of summer, sweating his balls off and risking his life getting the marines ready to move out. He was glad for the drawdown, though. They’d been there too long, and too many people had been hurt, too many parents had been pulled away from their kids, and too many people had died.

Owen hit reply and told his friend he was thinking about it. He still had a few weeks to decide, so he could wait and see what happened with Kim. If they worked things out, he’d try to get the duty switched stateside. His worry was that if he didn’t volunteer, they’d send him anyway. But if things didn’t get better, if she couldn’t forgive him, he’d accept whatever assignment there was because Owen was going to need to get away from here.

And as he was well aware, there was no better way to get a woman out of your system than to put a target on your back.
Oo-rah.

***

Kim walked into her sister’s embrace and Jenna closed in around her. Harper stood back, shaking her head.

“I obviously have to kill him.” Harper was pacing in the living room, fuming. “How could he not tell you that? I mean, come on.”

Sitting on the couch, Kim snuggled into the crook of her sister’s arm. “He was trying to protect me. It was dumb, but I think deep down that was the whole point.”

“At least he didn’t tell you he wasn’t the commitment type,” Harper said.

“I can’t believe he was Tom’s commanding officer,” Joey said. “What are the odds?”

“I’ve discovered the world is a very small place,” Jenna replied.

“What did your parents do?” Kim was still thinking about them. She couldn’t help it.

“Well, it didn’t help that Zia Bunny came in wailing. You would think Tom just died. She told the story and Mom remembered Owen’s name. Well, Zia Bunny went off carrying on like Owen was my brother’s executioner. It was hard for my mother. You have now been dubbed “that slut.” Zio Marco was going all
Goodfellas
. He’s
got a guy
, by the way.”

“Oh, good to know. He wants to off Owen and I’m a slut.”

Harper’s raised an eyebrow. “Holy shit, I thought the redneck family my mama married into was bad.”

Jenna shook her head and poured everyone some wine. “The rednecks have nothing on the mob.”

“Kimmy, are you all right?” Joey brushed back her hair, and Kim was so thankful they were all there.

“No,” she sniffled. “He told me he loves me.” She swallowed and tried to bite back the emotion, but it was too much. Deep sobs racked her, the tears blinding her eyes and choking her voice.

The grief and the sadness went so deep, and it wasn’t just about Owen. There was so much loss, and she didn’t want to feel anything anymore. She wanted the hurt to stop.

Jenna sat on her other side and Kim felt the warmth of her oldest friend and the love of her sister. When Harper crouched in front of her and handed her some tissues, Kim felt like she might get through. “Mop your face. My goodness, you are an ugly crier. Don’t ever try to get Owen to do something for you by crying. You’ll just send him running.”

Kim let out a watery laugh.

“Now, our boy Owen, he’s never said he’s in love with anyone before. This is serious stuff.”

“I completely believe him, but how could he not tell me about Tom?”

“Like you said,” Jenna began, “he was trying to protect you.”

How did Kim explain to everyone that she didn’t need protecting? She just needed the truth. There had been so little of it, and not just from Tom, but from her as well. If she dug really deep, she knew they weren’t meant to be married. They’d loved each other but theirs was a love born of innocence, a close friendship, and if she was really honest, habit. Granted, good marriages had been built on much less, but neither of them should have had to settle, and that’s exactly what would have happened.

“What do
you
want?” This was Jenna. Always practical, straight to the point.

“I want Owen. I feel so much for him.” She couldn’t stop the tears. “I don’t want to lose him, but I hate that he didn’t tell me about himself. I can’t process what it all means.”

Harper had taken position in one of the big overstuffed chairs. “I don’t get it. Owen is a freakin’ Boy Scout. He wouldn’t have waited this long to tell you.”

“It’s partially my fault,” Kim shook her head, realizing what she’d done. “I told him I didn’t want to talk about the war. At all. I guess I suspected he could know Tom. He was based in Helmand Province, so it was possible. But I told Owen that I wanted to keep Afghanistan out of the relationship.”

“That explains a lot,” Harper said. “Owen would have wanted to tell you.”

“He said he drove to the hospital to see me. He had letters I wrote and photos, but I’d gone home already.”

Kim heard a ping from her phone and rose to get it from her purse. When she looked there was a text from Owen. “
I wish you were here.”

Kim wanted to be with him, too, but there were so many reasons for her to stay away. The biggest one was to get used to the idea that he loved her. His declaration was honest and true, she had no doubt about that, but Kim had been through the wringer and she wanted to make sure Owen got her best in return. She knew she loved him, with all her heart, but she didn’t know if she could do this again, if she could trust herself to make it work.

Harper held up her cell phone. “Everyone needs to pack a bag, I have just gotten husband-boyfriend clearance for the weekend. We are all going to Caroline and Josh’s house on the North Fork. The daddies will be in charge. Joey, Jenna, you are coming as well.”

“I don’t know, Harper. I won’t be much fun.” Kim didn’t know if she was up to a crazy girls’ weekend. She was sure she was going to end up a sloppy crying drunk. Then again, she hadn’t had a night like that in a long time, and maybe what she really needed was a good cry with some good friends.

She kept thinking about Owen’s text and how much she wanted to be with him. It would be so easy to climb in her car and go to him, but her brain needed rest.

“You’ll have fun and it’ll take your mind off the man. It’s all good. See you in the morning.” Harper left with a wave and a smile, and as soon as the door closed behind her, Kim shook her head.

“I know Harper means well, but I’m not sure about this weekend. I’m taking Mom out to lunch Sunday, and then”—she showed the text to Jenna and Joey—“I’m going to see him.”

“You love him, don’t you?” Jenna asked.

“I do. I really do. But I’m terrified. What if I mess it up?”

Joey hugged her. “You won’t mess it up. You give your whole heart, Kim, it’s scary as hell, but it’s all you’ve got.”

“I need to be with him, but I need to think.” She pulled her knees up, and wrapping her arms around her legs, dropped her head. “Ugh.”

“Why don’t we go out east tomorrow with Harper?” Jenna suggested. “We’ll have some wine, eat, you can sleep if you want, and then we’ll head back in Sunday morning.”

“That’s a good idea,” Joey said. “It will give you a little space, but not too much. I think if we kept you away from him all weekend, you might swim home.”

The reality of what she wanted hit her right in the heart. She wanted Owen. They had things to work out, but she wanted him. “I never thought I’d want to be with anyone again, but the thought of not being with him shatters me.”

“Then you have your answer. I’ll talk to my parents. You deal with your guy.”

Owen sat in an Adirondack chair at the end of his dock, nursing a beer and listening to the dog whimper while he thought about whether or not he was going to take out the boat. What he wanted to do was get in his car, go find Kim, and take her someplace where they could be alone and he could make love to her until they didn’t know where one of them ended and the other began.

“I don’t care how much you cry, dog. You’re wearing the life vest.”

He had to admit the dog looked stupid in the multicolored vest, but she was a puppy and he didn’t want to take the chance that she didn’t know how to swim. One good wave and he could lose her. That would be just his luck.

He took a long pull on the beer and thought about Kim and how she was when she left him last night. He’d texted just to let her know she was on his mind, but she hadn’t answered. Every hour that went by without a word killed him a little, but he knew she needed to think. He’d dropped a lot on her the night before—the news about knowing Tom and then telling her he loved her. She was probably considering running for the hills.

Even though she said she didn’t want to end things with him, not that they’d really started, Owen had his doubts. Especially when she didn’t answer him. He hadn’t been honest with her, and in fact, he’d held more back than he’d told her. It would serve him right.

“Because you’re a fucking bonehead,” he said to himself. There wasn’t a lot he could do about it now, so a sail was definitely in order to clear his head. Dropping the now empty beer on the dock, he heard the glass clink against all the other empty bottles—he forgot how many—and he realized he was too drunk to sail. In fact, he was too drunk to do much of anything. God, he was going to feel like shit tomorrow.

Casey turned and a low growl came from her chest. Best case, Nate and Jason were there and they brought more beer. They’d been calling and texting, probably because they’d heard he’d been an asshole, but he hadn’t answered. Worst case, the zombie apocalypse had begun and Owen was screwed, because not only would there be no more beer, his gun was locked up in the house.

“Which is it girl? Zombies or beer?”

She yapped.

“It’s beer. But you don’t get any more because you’re already shitfaced.” That was Nate. He could tell if someone was drunk from twenty paces. He had drunk ESP.

“What the hell happened? You don’t do the beer drunk anymore. You should at least be getting wasted on twenty-one-year-old scotch.” Jason nudged the empties with his foot and Nate crouched down to scratch Casey’s ears. “Meg’s mom and Harper’s mom are watching the kids because the girls—including yours—all went out to Josh and Caroline’s.”

Owen scrubbed his hands over his face and looked out at the harbor. “I got bored, so I had a few—” He belched. “A few beers.”

“It looks like you had something like eight beers, bro,” Jason said.

Nate poked him in the side and Owen swatted at his hand. “Let’s get you in the house,” Nate said. “And let’s get that poor dog out of that thing you have her in.”

“It’s a doggie life vvvvvest.”

“That’s fine if we were going on the boat, but we’re not.” His friend hauled him up by his arms and Owen leaned into him. “Shit, you’re heavy. How much do you weigh?”

“Iiiii dunnno. Two-ten?”

His brain wasn’t really cooperating at this point and he just followed Jason and Nate into his house. God, he felt like shit. Between everything going on with Kim and now all the beer, he just wanted to sleep. His friends helped him into his den and pushed him onto the big leather sofa. There was a pillow under his head. It felt good.

“I fucked up with her.”

“We heard,” Nate said, hoisting Owen’s legs onto the couch. “Sleep it off, buddy.”

That was a really good idea. Sleep. Owen felt something cold and wet against his hand and looked down to see Casey nudging him. “Hey, girl.” Then he glanced at Nate, who looked really big standing over him. “Did you grow, dude?”

“Dude?” Jason said. “Did you call him dude?”

“Fuck you. Take care of the dog, okay?” That was the last thing Owen remembered clearly.

***

Dappled light filtered through the big window behind the sofa in his den. He could hear the gulls outside and hoped the feathered bastards weren’t crapping all over his boat. He sat up, planted his feet on the floor, and gripped his skull. Fuck. Owen didn’t know if his head hurt because of the beer he’d consumed or because of what went down with Kim. It didn’t matter—either way it was karma and he deserved it. He heard voices and rose to find Jason and Nate, who by this time had probably eaten everything in his fridge. Once he got into the kitchen, he sat at the island and dropped his head into his arms.

“You want to tell us what’s going on? Last night you and Kim are doing great, you tell us you have reservations at Grill, and now we find you drunk off your ass on your dock.”

“I told her I loved her.”

“Already?” Nate said.

Owen nodded.

“So what happened?”

“I told her the truth.”

Both his friends sat at the island. “Owen, other than some stuff on Memorial Day, you haven’t told us a whole lot, so you want to fill us in?”

“I told her I was her fiancé’s commanding officer. That I knew who she was. I told her about writing to Tom’s family, about reading her letters, and she got kinda freaked out.”

“Yeah,” Nate said. “That might do it.”

“I love her. I really do, and not just because of the hospital or anything. She’s awesome and I’m such a dick.”

“What did she say?”

“Hold on,” Jason stopped Owen before he even started to answer. “The hospital?”

Owen froze, knowing he let the big one drop. Shit.

“Owen, what hospital?”

“You guys have to take this to your graves. If you don’t, I will send you there early, in fucking pieces. I still have to tell her this, so don’t let it slip.”

Nate and Jason didn’t budge because at that point they knew Owen was completely unstable. Owen was fine with that. “Two men were injured in the IED attack that killed Tom Albanese. I cut my hand on some stray metal when they were loading them into the helo and used it as an excuse to get myself, our medic, and Albanese’s girlfriend to the hospital.”

“Whoa,” Nate said. “Girlfriend?”

“Yes.” He went slow, making sure not to leave anything out. “Albanese was cheating on Kim. The two marines expired at the hospital before we got to Kandahar, and when I walked into the trauma unit, I saw this tiny brunette nurse. She looked like hell, but tried to help me.”

“Kim.” Nate said.

Owen gave a quick nod and kept going. “Corporal Lynn—his girlfriend—was distraught at the news of Tom’s death, but this nurse looked like she was going to lose it. Eventually she did, collapsing right in my arms. Went down hard. She could barely breathe. I was sitting on the floor with this sobbing woman in my arms and something in me snapped, and I knew immediately she was the one. I don’t know how, or what it was.”

“That’s romantic, I guess, but it sounds like bullshit. Just like you not telling her who you were was bullshit.” Nate was still skeptical. Understandable.

“Don’t I know it. I mean, I don’t fall in love like that. I know who I am. I tried to see her again, but she’d been sent home. I tried to forget about her, couldn’t. I had a nightmare of a tour, I came home. Slept for about two weeks.”

He stood and walked to the big picture window. “Then Harper calls me to pick up her nanny on Memorial Day and BOOM. There she was. I’m sorry, but that’s some powerful shit right there. I have no intention of messing with it. I may have had this image of her in my mind, but the real Kim is more than I ever dreamed. I want to marry her. Now I don’t know if she’ll have anything to do with me.”

“Give it time.” Jason grabbed all the empty bottles and tossed them in recycling. “Has she said anything since yesterday?”

“Nothing really. She was so upset. I made her cry and I feel like such a shit.” He was so restless. He came back to his friends. Sat.

“Did she tell you she doesn’t want to pursue anything?” Jason put an open bottle of water in front of him.

“No. She said she needs some space and some time.” He sipped from the bottle. The cold water felt good sliding down his throat. “So she can get used to the idea, I guess.”

Nate and Jason looked at each other. “I know,” Owen said. “It basically means it’s over. Why do you think I got drunk?”

“She’s not in great shape, either.” Jason picked at a bunch of grapes that were in a basket on the counter. “Meg told me she fell apart with Harper, Jenna, and her sister last night. That’s when they hatched the plan for going out east to Caroline and Josh’s house in Cutchogue.”

“Just for the night?” Owen lifted his head up. “Or for the weekend?”

“You know what,” Jason said. “I’m not sure. Meg’s gone till tomorrow night.”

Nate grinned. “You want to crash the party?”

“Maybe,” Owen said. “If only so I can beg her forgiveness.”

Laughing out loud, Jason grabbed another beer from the fridge. “I would pay real money to see that.”

Owen shook his head. He hated that he hurt her, that he made her cry. God knows she’d probably shed more than enough tears in the past year. But yet he did it to her just like Albanese. He remembered when he wrote the letter to the family. Sat there with pictures around him, with letters from Kim. Things that told him about the man who died, because in truth, he got more about him from her letters than he did from the marine himself.

He spoke to everyone he could. His buddies in the unit, even Corporal Lynn, Albanese’s girlfriend, but nothing got to him like Kim’s letters. She knew this man and she shared every part of herself with him.

And in Kim’s case, that’s what Owen wanted. Every kiss, every touch had him wanting her in fifty different ways. It was more than sex. He could get sex anywhere. He wanted her to let him love her. He wanted to be on the receiving end of all that spirit and heart. He wanted to fall asleep holding her and wake up the same way.

Drunk or not, Owen knew this was it for him.
She
was it. He might as well turn in his man card, because he realized last night when he watched her fall apart in front of him that he would do anything to make her happy. Absolutely anything.

That was why he’d gone on a bender. He didn’t know how to fix this. He had to wait for her to let him.

“Jesus Christ, I’m a fucking wreck. I have to get her back. I have to.”

Jason gave him a quick slap upside the head. “How did you think it was going to happen? That’s what they do to us. They wreck us. Totally and completely.”

Nate leaned back and stretched his arms over his head. “Great. Something to look forward to.”

“Even if she forgives me for that, the truth is I might have another deployment, and while I don’t think it would be for long, she’s not going to be able to handle it.”

“You’re going to leave again?”

“Possibly. I’m going to try to stay stateside, but I don’t know. I have to see what’s happening.” He took another drink. “I was asked to volunteer for a short tour, which probably means ‘do it or we’ll send you away for longer and you can’t do anything about it.’”

Owen dropped his head again and the room started to spin. He needed a plan. Something that would help her see he was sincere and that she could trust him. Groaning, it didn’t seem that that was even possible.

***

Caroline Rossi-Campbell and her husband, Josh, had restored the beautiful shingled waterfront home on Long Island’s North Fork to absolute perfection. With two levels of decks that circled the outside of the house, the back of the house faced the Long Island Sound with views straight to Connecticut. There was a pool, a deck overlooking the water, a beach, and a dock. Kim never knew people who lived this kind of life. Now she was surrounded by them.

There were six bedrooms, eight bathrooms, and every conceivable luxury, yet the place still felt like home with its warm decor and welcoming quiet. Kim didn’t know if she would be fit company on Saturday, but the group took an excursion to a local vineyard. They picked up fresh produce, seafood, and groceries, and in the large kitchen she and her new friends, her oldest friend, and one of her sisters made a gourmet meal while it stormed outside.

Now, sitting on the second-floor covered deck and staring out at the water, Kim allowed herself to enjoy the cool breeze of the early morning. She’d become an early riser while she was in the navy, and since she’d been out, she kept up the habit. There was something very soothing about the alone time someone could only get in the very early morning. So sitting there in her pajama pants, fuzzy socks, and a navy sweatshirt, Kim let her mind wander as she thought about what Owen was doing.

Was he up? Was he on his deck looking at the water? Did he sleep okay? Because he told her just the other day that he slept better with her than he ever had in his life. She didn’t like that he kept the information about Tom from her. She felt foolish, in fact, and she was trying to see it from his side, but it wasn’t easy. Even so, she missed him. Missed his warmth and his voice. They’d spent almost every night together over the past week, and just hearing his voice in the morning was like waking up to music.

She heard the telltale click of a door handle and Meg emerged from her room, stretching as she stepped close to the deck railing. “What a gorgeous morning.” She turned and smiled at Kim, then pulled the chaise lounge closest to her room close to Kim’s so they could talk. “My sister and that husband of hers outdid themselves with this place. I love it here.”

“Don’t you have a place on the Cape?” The story of Jason buying Meg a multimillion dollar summer cottage when they were on their honeymoon was becoming family legend.

“The Vineyard. Yes. I love that house, it’s right on Vineyard Sound, but it’s so far. It takes hours to drive there, so if we opt not to drive, we have to fly or take the boat. It’s not great for a quick getaway. It needs some planning.”

“It still sounds wonderful.” Speaking as someone who spent summers in a crowded bungalow on Lake George in the Adirondack Mountains, a big place with room to breathe, like this one, was pretty appealing.