The Second God (15 page)

“Yes, but…”

“Wait…” I shifted my consciousness to Ly’s mind, to find him wakeful, too. “Wait here,” I said to Arran.

Tossing the blanket aside, I jumped up and walked around the campfire. Ly was lying still, his back to me, but as I drew near he turned and sat upright. The amber necklace at his throat glimmered as he looked up at me.

“Princess?”

“Would you mind disappearing for a while? Arran and I could do with some time alone.”

“Alone? I— oh!” He flushed. “I beg your pardon. That was inconsiderate of me. Now that we are in my own land, my mind is back in Clan ways. I had forgotten that you prefer to be private for such occasions.”

“And your people don’t?” But even as I asked the question, I remembered the skin tents,
clava
, that the Clanfolk lived in. Not much privacy there, with only a thin curtain to shield a couple from view.

“It is of great interest to everyone how husband and wife get along,” he said, taking the question seriously. “The elders will make enquiries if there are no signs of pleasuring.” He must have seen the distaste on my face, for he laughed. “I daresay it sounds strange, but there are no secrets in a Clan village. Everything that happens is known, everything is shared. That is the way we are.”

“Well, I’m glad I’m Bennamorian, then,” I said. “I don’t like the sound of so much intimacy. Some things should be kept private, surely?”

He chewed his lip thoughtfully, gazing up at me with his head tilted to one side.

“It disappoints me to hear you say so. For you must realise, Princess – when we are blood-bonded, you will be as much Clan as I am, and Arran too. We will be… joined together, not entirely separate. When we go deeper into Clanlands, we will be expected to follow Clan customs.”

“Oh. Sharing a
clava
, you mean?”

“Sharing furs. We will all three of us sleep together. And we will start at our bonding camp.”

I waited until we’d had our time alone, and Arran was relaxed, sprawled on his back while I snuggled against him, before mentioning the idea of bed-sharing.

“Well,
that
is not going to happen,” was his first reaction. “I do not care what Clan customs may be. I am Bennamorian, and we do
not
do that sort of thing.”

I tried not to laugh at his outrage. “Don’t we? I’ve heard of some odd situations. And honestly, I’m not sure what is so different about what we’re doing now. We sleep this side of the fire, he sleeps the other, we might as well all be in bed together.”

“But not…
doing
anything,” he said. “Sleeping… well, I suppose I could put up with that, if I have to. But cuddling together when he is right there? Or, even worse, me being right there while you and he are—” He stopped, and when I rolled over to look at his face, his lips were tightly clamped in distress.

“I’ve been sharing Ly’s bed for four years,” I said softly. “
You
were the one who decided it was time. I thought you were comfortable with the idea.”

“I am. I
was
. But that night at Lakeside…” He ran his fingers gently down my face, and then over my lips. “Ah, sweetheart, I never minded when you were far away at the other side of the apartment. Not much, anyway. And I used to go out on those nights – have evening board with friends, sleep at the barracks, anything to distract me. Then in the morning you would be mine again, smiling and happy to see me, and all was well. But at Lakeside, you were just the other side of the bedroom door. There was no escape. And you enjoyed it so much, I could tell.”

“That was the magic. I’d taken everything from the new
byan shar
, remember, and then there was Ly. You know what I’m like when I’m full of magic – the sex is always amazing.”

“Yes, but he can make that happen whenever he wants. He has so much magic in him now, enough to share with you and still be very powerful. He can give you a night like that every night, if he wants to. I cannot possibly compare.”

“Every night? That sounds exhausting,” I said with feeling. “And it’s not a competition between you. I’m not going to toss you aside just because Ly can give me more magically-driven sex. I’m not going to toss you aside at all, ever. I
love
you, you idiotic man.”

I leaned down to kiss him. For a moment his lips were unyielding, but then he responded with something close to his usual enthusiasm. Even so, it was a long time before either of us slept.

~~~~~

If I’d thought the forest was dreary and dispiriting, the open country we came to now was worse. It was uphill, for a start, which made it even more of a trudge, and as we walked, the land became increasingly broken, with unexpected fissures and odd rocky outcrops. There were no more fallen trees to negotiate, but there were just as many thorn bushes, and even more widespread bogs. Well, they might have been streams or lakes, it was hard to tell, but my feet were just as soaked.

It started to rain, as well, to add to our misery. We’d long since exhausted our interest in the unfolding countryside or the odd birds and plants we saw here, so mostly we plodded along in silence, Ly ahead, confidently picking a route, then me trailing behind, and Arran at the back. That was a change, too. Up to now, Arran had often walked with Ly, plying him with questions about the landmarks we saw, but Ly had answered vaguely. Questions about his people were deflected, in his usual way. I still couldn’t decide whether he was intentionally secretive, or whether he really didn’t have definitive answers.

The rain got worse as the afternoon wore on. Even the eagles had vanished from our view, settled on a crag some distance away.

“We will make camp early tonight,” Ly said. “There is a sheltered spot down this way.”

We’d been working our way steadily around a low hill, but now we turned aside and headed into a boulder-strewn gully. As a potential campsite, it didn’t look promising, so it wasn’t a surprise when Ly led us on and downwards, and then aside into another, wider, gully. But when that opened into a broad canyon, almost entirely taken up by a rushing stream, I began to wonder.

Arran stopped with a huff of annoyance. “Hey, Ly!”

He stopped, turning to face us.

“Is it much further?”

“I do not know,” he said. Spinning round, he set off again.

“Fine,” Arran muttered. “Don’t tell me, then.”

The canyon swerved first one way, then another, the walls rising ever higher on either side. But on the second swerve, floods had carved out an overhang of rock, not quite a cave but roomy enough to provide shelter for the three of us.

“We will camp here,” Ly said. “There are trees further on for firewood, and a patch of hill berries just beyond that. We will need stones from the river for the firepit.”

Silently, we split up to do the camp chores. The rain meant it took an age to get a fire going, and by the time Ly had found some rodents and eggs to cook, I was starving. I sat dispiritedly against the back wall of the overhang, fingers idly playing with the sandy soil at its base. In Bennamore, there was a tingle of magic in the soil, but here it was empty and inert. My clothes clung damply to me, chilling me to the bone. So I reached out for some of Ly’s magic. Just a little, something to warm me up.

He looked up at once. He always knew when I took magic from him. “You must be hungry, Princess. Have some dried meat – or would you prefer cheese? Arran has brought some fresh berries.”

I couldn’t summon the energy to move, so I just shook my head.

Ly was there at once, crouched down beside me. “Are you unwell?”

That brought Arran over, too, dropping the pile of wood he’d been chopping and stacking. “Drina? What is it, sweetheart?”

It was so long since I’d felt that way that I almost failed to recognise it. The tiredness, the lassitude and behind all of that, the gnawing desire for magic. I’d been taking small amounts from Ly as we walked, but it wasn’t enough. He was so overflowing with power, yet when I reached out my mind for it, only tiny amounts filtered through to me.

“I need magic,” I whispered. “Please…” How I hated begging for it, like an infant crying for milk. Yet my need was just as great. Without it, I would weaken and perhaps die, eventually.

“I am not preventing you from taking whatever you want,” he said in surprise. “At Lakeside… yes, I did not wish to lose my power, and you had no need of it then, so I kept it tight within me. But since we left Kingswell, I have not done so. You may take what you wish.”

Again I tried, but only the merest trickle came through. A tear coursed down my cheek. “I can’t… It isn’t working. Will you touch me? Please?”

Ly’s face softened, and he stretched his hand towards my face. So close! But then he stopped, his face etched with anxiety.

“By the gods, Ly!” Arran said. “What is the matter with you? She needs your help, can you not see that?”

Still he hesitated.

“Please!” I said again.

“I do not know… what will happen when I touch you,” he said. “Do you want to try it anyway?”

I knew what he meant, that we might be drawn in by the magic again, the way it had happened when we first met. My need for magic combined with his innate power was an explosive mixture, and the results had been traumatic for both of us, forcing us to couple against our will. He hadn’t touched me once since our Lakeside coupling. Yet what could I do? The only alternative was to return to Bennamore, and the sources of magic there, which would mean abandoning our mission to find the new
byan shar
.

I looked at Arran, but he was still glaring at Ly. “By the gods, you make such a performance out of everything. You tell us nothing, you lead us all round the world and everything has to be done your way, because you are the great
byan shar
, and we are nothing and nobody, apparently. And here we are, we have followed you to the far side of nowhere, we have done everything you wanted and now Drina is sick and you are quibbling about helping her? What sort of a man are you, anyway? She is your
wife
, by the gods! Do you not care?”

Ly jumped up and hissed in Arran’s face, “Do not dare to speak so to me!”

“I will speak to you however you like,” Arran began, but I waved a hand feebly at them.

“Please,” I whispered. “You mustn’t fight.” Tears trickled down my face.

Instantly, they knelt beside me, one either side, and Arran took my hand. “Sorry, so sorry, my sweet. I think this rain is wearing me down. That and… other things.” Another glare at Ly.

I’d never seen so much tension between them. I supposed it had always been there, but having separate rooms within the apartment had helped. Here there was no avoiding the issue, but, as always, the two men had to sort out their own differences.

Ly was flushed, his lips tightly compressed. “I am sorry to distress you, princess, but I cannot touch you until we have resolved the question of… what happens afterwards.”

I was too exhausted to work out his meaning, but Arran said gruffly, “Oh. I see.” He touched Ly lightly on one arm. “She needs your help, Ly. Do whatever you have to do.”

“Even if…?”

Arran shrugged, with a slight smile. “It is about your turn anyway.”

There was no answering smile from Ly – he was such a serious man – but he nodded, and, with just one finger, stroked my cheek.

His magic blazed into me like fire. I closed my eyes, letting it wash through me, warming my flesh and lifting my spirits. A giggle escaped me. After a while, I became aware that the flow had stopped, and opened my eyes. Ly was kneeling in front of me, smiling, head tipped to one side.

“Do you feel better, Princess?”

I nodded, with another giggle bursting from me, like a hiccup. But I wasn’t compelled to leap onto him, nor he onto me, it seemed. That was a relief.

“The food will be ready soon,” Ly said. “Would you like to eat something?”

Magic always took away my appetite, but I nibbled something to please Ly, all the time watching Arran. The way his hair fell across his face sometimes, the way he ate, starting at one end of a bone and working methodically down to the other, his broad chest and well-muscled arms. And of course the way he smiled affectionately at me every time I caught his eye. My beloved Arran. I couldn’t wait to get rid of Ly for an hour so that I could get Arran’s clothes off.

As soon as Ly had cleared away the debris and taken the bowls to the stream to wash, I reached for Arran, wrapping my arms around his neck.

He gently disentangled me. “Best not, Drina. Tonight is for Ly.”

“No! I want
you
!”

“Hush, sweetheart, hush. No crying. You must have seen his face when he touched you? No, I suppose not. But he has that look in his eyes that will brook no refusal.
‘I have need of my wife.’
Remember? Gods, but he chills my heart when he gets like that. And he has so much magic now. We have no idea what he is truly capable of. We should not push him too far. He wants you tonight, and he is your husband after all. It is his right.”

“He is my prisoner!” I cried. “
I
say what his rights are.”

“Not any more,” Arran said sadly. “That was wonderful while it lasted, my love, but all the power is his now. If you refuse him, he could force the issue and that would be dreadful for all of us. Let us get this blood-bonding over with, and then we will have some power of our own. Perhaps then it will be easier to deal with him, and sort out this bed-sharing business. But for tonight, give him what he wants.”

“What about you?”

“I shall go for a walk. It is brightmoon, so there will be light for hours yet. Then I shall sleep on the other side of the fire. I was with you last night, and tomorrow I shall be with you again, my little flower. Let us not begrudge him this one night.”

So when Ly returned from the stream, Arran said to him, “I am going to disappear for a while. Enjoy yourselves while I am away.” Then he was gone.

There was no mistaking the expression on Ly’s face as he turned to me – hope, anticipation, a little fear. And desire. Blazing hot desire. So I lay down with my husband, and the magic burning in me ensured that I felt the same pleasure that he did. Yet afterwards, when he lay curled around my back, I wept a little and wondered if it would always be like this, two men pulling me in different directions. And Ly’s power growing stronger with every sun that passed.

Eventually I heard Arran creep back into the camp. I closed my eyes and slept.

~~~~~

For three more suns we plodded through the endless hills. Up, up, up, round a shoulder, then down again, repeated over and over. At night, we camped in a sheltering band of trees or a narrow river valley. Then up early and onward. At least the rain had stopped. Ly never hesitated, never stopped to check the position of the sun or a landmark. He always knew which way to go. And although the land looked bleak and desolate, he never came back from his foraging empty-handed.

“What are they called, these hills?” I asked Ly one sun, as we sat beside a reed-fringed pond to eat our noon meal. Sunshine perched on a rock nearby, her mind oozing contentment, but the other eagles circled overhead.