The Secret (8 page)

“Sophie,” I say, rubbing my hand over her lower back and letting out a sigh. “You’re never in my way. Why do you keep saying that?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugs, looking down at her hands. “I always felt like I was in the way with my mom. Maybe it’s a force of habit?”

“Well, we need to break that habit, Baby,” I say, stroking her cheek. “You’re never in my way. As for New Year’s, we may not get to do much, but at least we’ll be together.”

“Okay,” she says, leaning her head back against my chest, letting out a sigh. “Guess I’ll have to tell Jack we a
ren’t going to make it for the party.”

“What party?” I ask, trying to hide the annoyance in my voice.

“A few of our friends in Camden are throwing a big party,” she starts. “It’s kind of a combination between a homecoming celebration for Jack and New Year’s Eve. He invited us to come.”

“Yeah,” I scoff. “I’m sure he invited
us
.”

“Yes, he did,” she
says pointedly, rolling her eyes in irritation at my jealousy. “Anyway, I told him we’d try, but if we have to leave early, we won’t make it.”

“Not unless Drake can find someone with experience who can start at the first of the year,” I say, tossing my emp
ty bottle in the trash and heading for the shower.

Sophie’s chewing on her lip as she follows me to our bedroom, deep in thought. We remain quiet as I switch the music on, finally relaxing with the combination of the beer, the shower,
‘Glory and Gore’ by Lorde filling the room and my naked fiancé standing in front of me. We’re stepping under the water together as she breaks the silence.

“Jack!” she says, scaring me half to death with her enthusiasm.

“What?” I say, this time my irritation bleeding through as I rub shampoo into my palms.

“Jack has experience
in construction,” she says, still grinning as she takes the bottle from me. “He needs a job and-”

“No!” I say, shaking my head at her
suggestion as she lets the water run through her hair.

“You didn’t even let me finish!”
she raises her head from the spray, throwing her hands up in frustration. “It would be perfect, Chase!”

“Baby,” I say, turning her body around and pulling her closer so I can start washing her hair. “I think y
our idea of perfection is glaringly different from mine.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Listen,” I start, running my fingers through her long hair as I try to carefully select my words. “I can appreciate the fact that you’ve gone through a completely fucked up experience together. I can even understand your need to talk to him and keep him in your life, Sophie,” I admit as I turn her to rinse. “That being said, seeing the guy every day is not my idea of perfection, Babe.”

“Okay,” she starts as I begin working the body wash over her skin. “Maybe perfect was a strong word, bu
t it’s still a good idea, Baby.”

“
No, Sweetheart,” I disagree. “It would be awkward as fuck. Please drop it.”

“Why do I have to drop it? You’
re being childish!” she argues, ignoring me as she rinses her body off. “Besides, it will only be awkward if you make it that way.”

“
I’m pretty sure that’s a load of shit, Baby,” I say, swapping her places and rinsing myself off before turning the water off.

When I turn to face her, her irritated expression matches mine.

“I’m pretty sure you’re being a selfish asshole,
Baby
,” she snaps, throwing the shower curtain open and stepping out. I watch her wrap a towel around herself before slamming the bathroom door shut behind her.

Taking a few deep breaths,
I take my time drying off in an attempt to let my irritation fade without success. I walk out of the bathroom in a towel to find our bedroom empty.

After throwing on a pair of sweats, I make my way out to the rest of the house, eventually finding her in the kitchen, fuming.
‘Hate to Say I Told You So’ by The Hives is blaring from the speakers and she’s angrily scrubbing the dishes in the sink. When she sees me walking into the room, she glances at me in irritation before returning her attention to the sink.

Grabbing another beer from the fridge, I walk into the living r
oom and start stacking her magazines.

“Leave it,”
she snips across the bar at me.

“What? You don’
t want my help now because I disagreed with you?” Letting out a frustrated breath, but nothing more, she glares back at me and shakes her head. “You’re not talking to me now?”

“
Well, I would, but I’d hate to make things awkward for you!” she snaps sarcastically.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Sophie?” I st
art, honestly shocked at her reaction.

“Do I look like I’m fucking kidding you, Chase?”

“Sweet Jesus,” I groan, running my hand through my hair as I realize the date. December. Fucking. Twelfth.
This is so not what I wanted to do tonight
. “Did you get your new fuckin’ batch of hormones today or something?”

“What?” she says between clenched teeth, her anger only
growing.

“I’m sorry, Babe, but I mean, seriously…
Do you have any idea how ridiculous you’re being right now?”

“
I’m
being ridiculous?” she says, disbelief staining her features as she drops the plate she was just washing into the sink and comes closer to where I’m standing in the living room. “Chase, you just got done telling me that you don’t want to work with Jack because it would be awkward for you,” she grounds out. “Even though it would help you and him, not to mention Drake and Ana, but my
hormones
are making
me
act
ridiculous
?”

“I’m sorry I don’
t want to spend fifteen hours a day with someone who you’ve fucked, Sophie!”

The expression on her face looks like I’ve slapped her and I immediately regret my harsh words.

“Of course not, because I’ve
never
had to spend time with anyone you’ve fucked, Chase!”

Oh fuck
.

“Sophie
…” I try, but she cuts me off.

“
Trina, Savannah,” she starts, counting my exes off on her fingers before shouting the last name angrily at me across the living room. “
Lauren fucking Crawford
!”

“Babe…
” I try to speak, tell her I’m sorry, but before I can, she throws the wet dishrag she’s holding. She aims straight for my face, missing me only because I duck, just in time for it to hit the wall behind me with a thud.

She’s fucking crazy!

“Lauren Crawford, the bane of my fucking existence! The woman who has made our lives a living hell for the past nine months, Chase? I’ve put up with her bullshit, but you’re worried about feeling awkward with Jack because I slept with him two
years
ago?”

“Sophie
…”

“Lauren
Crawford,” she continues, still seething. “The woman who has had me thrown in jail, nearly gotten you killed and left her nasty, likely disease infested thong in your truck that I unpacked
myself
and you’re worried about
Jack
?”

“
I’m sorry!” I shout, hoping to get her attention that way. “Jesus! Would you stop fucking screaming at me?”

Before she can answer, my cell phone rings and I glance down to see Drake’s name popping up on the caller ID. Glancing up at her, she
shakes her head and waves me off after letting out a long sigh.

“Just
forget it, Chase. Answer the phone,” she says in a soft voice, turning her attention back to the kitchen. Although I can tell her anger has calmed, she’s still visibly upset.

“Hey man,” I say into the phone, walking over to Sophie to pull her against my chest. “I’m sorry,” I whisper into her hair, kissing her
temple. “Hang on,” I say into the phone when she doesn’t answer me, tossing it onto the counter and turning her to face me. “Hey,” I whisper, tilting her head. “I’m sorry I was a dick. I love you.”

“I love you. I’m sorry, too,
” she finally sniffs, wiping a tear away. “Go talk to Drake, Chase.”

“Fuck that phone,” I answer her, placing my
palm on her neck. “Give me some loving, Baby,” I whisper, leaning down to meet her lips for a chaste kiss. “I’ll just be a second, okay?”

“Okay,” she nods, turning towards the refrigerator as I pick up the phone.

“Hey,” I say into the phone, watching Sophie as she moves quietly around the kitchen. 

After Drake c
onfirms what I already suspected about leaving even earlier, I take in Sophie’s disappointed expression, hating that I’m the one who put it there.

Shit.
Shit fuck shit.

“
Hey,” I say into the phone, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Sophie had an idea.”

Her eyes meet m
ine in surprise as I begin telling Drake her suggestion.

“You sure you want to do that?” he asks me
quietly, obviously surprised as well. I know he’s giving me an out that no one would ever know about, but as I look at the face of my girl, I know I can’t take it.

“Well,
it’s something to at least consider,” I say. “It would help everyone out.”

“Okay,” he says before covering
the phone and relaying the information to Jack.

“Thank you,” Sophie whispers, wrapping her arms around my waist tightly.

Unable to say anything without the anxiety creeping into my voice, I simply kiss her on the forehead and run my hands through her golden strands affectionately.

“You there, man?” Drake says into the phone, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Yeah.”

“He’s in,” he says, the relief
for the extra help obvious in his voice.

Just like that
, my fiancés ex is the newest employee of Mitchell Construction.

Jack

“This is going to be a disaster, Jack,” Sophie groans into the phone, causing me to simultaneously feel horrible for her while stifling a chuckle. “My mother isn’t even here yet and she’s driving me absolutely insane!”

“Maybe she’s changed,
Soph?” I offer weakly, knowing it’s about as likely as walking outside to find a green sky. “You haven’t seen your mom in a while, have you? I bet she’ll be happy to spend some time with you.”

“
Yeah, I’m sure she’s dancing,” Sophie scoffs at the same time I stifle another involuntary chuckle. “She called me yesterday to remind me what time church starts because she said ‘the life I’m living in sin left her to assume I hadn’t been making my time with the Lord a priority.’”

Things had been so awkwar
d for us at first, they still are if I’m being completely honest, but staying in each other’s lives was a necessity for both of us. It’s been one of the longest weeks of my life, but I’d meant what I told her that day. I’d take her any way I could. I just need her in my life.

I don’t have to see her to know she’s rolling those gorgeous green eyes. Trying my best to ignore her reference to the fact she’s living with Chase, I attempt to steer the conversation.

“It’ll be okay, Babe,” I start, feeling a combination of guilt, sadness and an overwhelming sense of selfish happiness that she still lets me call her ‘Babe’. “It’s only one night…”

“Oh no!” she cuts me off. “She told me yesterday that she’s decided to stay for a couple days since it’s been so long. Aunt Deb told me last night that she’
s having her put the spare linens in my old room so we can ‘bunk up.’ I’m going to be stuck alone with her for days, Jack!
Days
!” 

“You’
re not stuck, Soph,” I promise her. “Trust me. None of us are going to make you stay there with her if you don’t want to. I’ll spring ya,” I chuckle. “Sneak you out the back like I used to.”

“Thanks,” she says quietly, s
eemingly lost in the same memories as me. After a moment, she clears her throat and breaks the silence. “So have you talked to JT?”

“
Yeah, I talked to him some when we were there and I’ve called him a few times. He had some questions, asked where I’d been and what Heaven looked like,” I tell her with a weak chuckle.

“W
ow,” she says in disbelief. “What do you even say to that?”

Heaven looks like the
blonde haired, green eyed girl with dimples that stole my heart and never gave it back.

“I told him the truth,” I start. “Well, as much of it as I could. I told him I got lost somewhere far away and was trying to make it
back home to him, to you.”

“Jack,” she says softly when she hears the emotion bleeding through my voice.

“So anyway,” I clear my throat, shaking the feelings away as best I can. “I think he’ll always have questions, but as long as he knows I tried, that’s the best I can do for now. He doesn’t need to know all the other shit right away.”

“Yeah,” she whispers, trying her best to hide the break in her voice. She’s about to speak again, but I know I need to end this call with her if I’m not going to make things any
more awkward between us.

“Well, Bab
y,” I start, cutting her off. “I know you’ve got some packing to do so I’ll let you get to it.”

“Okay,” she finally says. “Jack?”

“Yeah?”

“
Jack, are you alright?”

No, I’ve never felt worse in my life.

“Yeah, I’m good, Soph,” I say, immediately hating the lie. “Don’t worry about me, Beautiful Girl. Go get packed up, okay? I love you.”

“
Love you, too.”

As we end the call
, I toss the phone on the couch next to me and rub my hands over my face. I’m sitting there silently for a moment before I hear Ana walk into the room.

“Jackie?” she says, pulling me from my thoughts. “You okay?”

Refusing to lie to my sister, I shrug and let out a deep sigh of exhaustion.

“
I’m gonna go for a run,” I say as I rise from the couch.

“Okay,” she nods, giving me a small
, sympathetic smile.

Ten minutes later, I’m cha
nged and running down the beach. I can’t help wishing with every beat of the music blaring in my ears that I’d never gotten on that fucking plane out of Houston two years ago.

Sophie

The next few days are a blur of chaos as we get ready for our trip back to Camden. In addition to the fact that my mother is coming, I’ve still got to get everything in order for Christmas
before we leave.

Today is Thursday and I’ve been running full force all week,
trying to get everything ready. I’m in the middle of the floor, cursing the existence of box tape, when my cell starts going off.

“
Hey Sweet Cheeks!” I smile into the phone when I see Heather’s name on the caller ID.

“Hey! What are you doing?” she asks cheerfully.

“Going batshit crazy,” I sigh. “I am currently attempting to get the gifts for Chase’s family wrapped and ready to send to Florida. Then, I need to haul ass to the post office so I can get them in the mail so there’s enough time for them to get lost before Christmas.”

“Way to stay positive!” she
teases, laughing at my outburst. “When are y’all leaving?”

“Satur
day,” I tell her. “We thought about going tomorrow night since Chase is off all week, but there’s no way I’ll have everything done in time,” I admit. “I still have to get these in the mail, finish up my shopping, pack and plot an escape route in case my mom acts like… well, my mom.”

“You want some help?” she offers
with a giggle.

“You’re awesome for asking, but I wouldn’t do that to you,” I tell her.

“Oh shut up!” she says dramatically. “I’m coming over.”

“I’m sure you’ve got much better things to do than witness my breakdown.”

“Nah, it sounds fun,” she chuckles, the clink of the keys in her hand coming through the phone. “I’ve been staying at Jamie’s and we’re arguing right now, so I’m not doing anything and I could use the distraction. I’ll be there in ten.”

As I hang up and check the
time on the clock, I curse. The post office closes in two hours, I’m still wearing my slum clothes, Heather’s on her way and there’s a pile of unwrapped presents in front of me. I’m trying to organize my thoughts when ‘Brass Monkey’ by Beastie Boys starts blaring from my phone, causing a smile to cross my face.

“
Hello my Sexy Sugar Doodle,” I say into the phone.

“Hey Gorgeous,”
he says with a chuckle. “How’s your day?”

“
God, it’s a freaking mess over here,” I admit with an exhausted sigh. “I gotta get my life together, Baby. I’m getting dressed, wrapping presents and destroying the house before I head to the post office.”

“Well, at least you’
ve got a plan,” he teases. “Try to chill out. It’ll all get done, Princess.”

“
I know,” I sigh as I make my way to our room to get ready. “How’s your day going?”

“It’s okay. I’m on a short lunch today, trying to get caught up before next week,” he explains. “Just wanted to call and ask you
if you could squeeze me in later on tonight.”

“
You’re such a perv,” I laugh. “Did you seriously just call me to schedule sex?”

“
Jesus, Baby! I was gonna take you out later, but fuck my idea! I like yours better,” he chuckles. “We’ll do that instead.”

“Agreed,”
I blush. “You can at least buy me dinner first. Mama don’t work for free.”

“
Damn straight,” he says proudly, the smile in his voice obvious. “I have to work a little later than usual, but think about what you want and we’ll go when I get home.”

“Okay
,” I start, getting cut off by the harsh sound of his work radio.

“Shit, hang on
,” he says before speaking into the handheld, returning a moment later. “Okay, Baby, I gotta get back onsite. I’ll see you in a little while. I love you.”

“Love you, too,
Babysaurus. Be safe.”

By the time we ha
ng up, Heather is knocking at the door and I’m still not ready.

“Hey!” I say, pulling the door open.
“Gotta get dressed.”

“Yeah,” she says, looking me over. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but…”

“Shut up,” I laugh as I run into the bedroom, emerging as quickly as I can with one of Chase’s hoodies thrown over jeans and a t-shirt.

When I see Heather has already jumped into the mess of chaos that is my living room, I want to hug her.

“What the hell is this thing?” she asks, holding up Emily and Brad’s gift.

“It’
s a wine rack,” I explain, grinning at her expression to the odd shaped piece of metal in her hand. “You’re holding it upside down.”

“Oh,” she says, looking it over again, but still shaking her head in confusion.

“Em asked for it,” I shrug, taking it from her and wrapping it into a box.

As we finish up, we catch up on everything that’s been happening. I tell her everything about the situation with Jack and Chase, leaving little out.

Although I’ve not known her long, I quickly find that this time with Heather is exactly what I needed. With everything going on, I’ve felt limited on who I could talk to about what I’m feeling.

“It’s just hard,” I admit. “I know I want Chase. At the same time though, I can’t
not
love Jack. It’s impossible, Heather. We went through so much together and it’s not like we broke up or had a big fight,” I continue. “If he’d not gotten lost that day, I have no doubt in my mind that we’d be happily married right now.”

“Yeah,” she nods in agreement, letting me vent.
“Have you told Jack that you’ve decided to stay with Chase?”

“
Yeah, he knows,” I sigh. “He knows and he’s miserable and I feel like the biggest asshole on the planet.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s in pain, Heather,” I say, shaking my head. “He won’t admit it, but he doesn’t have to. I know him well enough to know that he’s hurting and it’s all because of me.”

“So, does that mean you should just say fuck your own happiness?”

“No and even if I did that, it wouldn’t be fair to him,” I say. “I could never be with him completely knowing how I feel about Chase. He deserves better than that. I just wish… Ugh! I don’t even know a wish that would fix this!”

“I’m sorry,” she says sympathe
tically, patting my arm. “If I could, I’d help you fix everything.”

“I don’t thi
nk that’s even possible,” I groan.

“Well, maybe not,” she agrees. “But you know what is possible?”

“What’s that?” I ask, looking over at her.

“Booze and hot men are
very
possible. Let’s get this shit to the post office and come back here and chill before Sweet Cheeks gets home so you can relax and cheer the fuck up.”

“Okay,” I laugh as I begin gathering packages and hauling them out to the truck.

After running errands, standing in line for nearly an hour and making a couple stops, it’s after five o’clock, but we’ve managed to get everything done.

We walk back into the house, wine and a DVD of Magic Mike i
n hand. Twenty minutes and two glasses of wine later, I’m feeling a little better.

Heather and I are both drooling like idiots, halfway through Chann
ing Tatum’s infamous grind to Ginuwine’s ‘Pony’, when we hear the garage door coming to life.

“Shit! Chase is home!” I whisper in panic,
instantly on my feet and causing her to laugh loudly at my sudden outburst. “Shut it the fuck off!”

“I can’t find the remote!” she admits, still laughing as she
stands to start searching the couch.

“
Are you freaking kidding?” I say accusingly, throwing the cushions and causing her to double over at my reaction. “Damn you, Heather! Stop laughing and help me look! This is so serious!”

“I’m sorry!”
she manages, gripping her stomach. “I can’t breathe!”

“You’re dead to me, Ricketts!” I hiss, making her snort as I finally recover the remote.

“Baby?” I hear Chase call from the back door, seconds after I stop the movie and save my own ass.

“I’m in
here, Honeybee,” I call out nervously, giving Heather the evil eye. “Get rid of it!” I laugh under my breath at her.

As s
he rushes to stash the DVD in her purse, Chase walks around the corner, entering the living room.

Leaning over the back of the couch, he grips my low ponytail and forcing my head back before
he presses his lips to mine.