The Secret Wife (3 page)

“Sounds great,” Elissa said, realizing she didn’t know enough about the difference between “hard” and “soft” sciences, let alone quantum physics, to have a comment on Tiffany’s choice. And she wasn’t sure she completely bought into Tiffany’s claim of being so well-adjusted about being in an orphanage while her mother wrestled with a drug problem. “How long have you been here?”

“A couple of years. I was in a foster home for a while, but that didn’t work out. They thought my mother was dead, so I came here, but she wasn’t. Cole said I could stay. So did the judge.”

Elissa returned to her open suitcase and pulled out several more dresses. Tiffany studied the floral prints. “You have pretty stuff. But I don’t see any jeans.”

“I don’t wear jeans very much.”

“Shorts?”

“Sorry, no. I prefer skirts and dresses.”

“That’s kinda weird.”

Elissa chuckled. “Good weird or bad weird?”

The preteen grinned. “Good weird. How’d you get your hair like that?”

Elissa touched the top of her head. “I pulled it all up in a ponytail, then pinned it in place.” She leaned forward and fingered Tiffany’s curls. “I could show you how to do it. You’d look great. Have you tried a French braid?”

Tiffany shook her head. “I can’t ever get it right.”

“It’s not so hard. I’ll show you. You can even learn to do it on yourself, although it takes a little patience.”

Light filled dark eyes. “Really? That would be way cool.”

“Way cool is my life,” Elissa said solemnly.

Tiffany flopped back on the bed. “Did you meet Cole?”

“Sure.”

“What’d you think of him?”

“He’s changed,” she said without thinking, then silently groaned.

Tiffany bounced to her feet. “How long have you known him?”

“Since I was your age. But we haven’t seen each other in a long time.”

“Wow. He’s so old. So you’ve known him like forever.”

“Sometimes it feels that way.”

“What was he like?”

Elissa picked up a pair of loafers and placed them on the floor of the closet. “Pretty much a younger version of the way he is now. Very together, very determined.”

Intense, she thought, remembering the way he’d stared at her when they’d first met. She’d had the distinct impression he’d disliked her for no reason other than what he thought her to be.

“Was he like other kids? Did he, you know, play games and stuff?”

“Sure.”

Elissa realized five minutes too late that she was probably going to get in trouble for this conversation. Cole had warned her not to tell the children they were married. While he hadn’t said anything about them admitting to a previous acquaintance, she had a feeling he assumed she would figure that one out on her own.

Excuse me for not getting it right, she thought to herself. Frankly, some innocent chit-chat about their mutual past was nothing when compared with the deceptions she had planned for later. But if she didn’t want to get fired on her first day, she was going to have to find a way to distract Tiffany.

She glanced at the clock and realized it was nearly 5:30. “What time is dinner?” she asked.

The girl followed her gaze. “Yikes. In a couple of minutes. We’d better get going.” She grimaced. “If we get there too late, we have to sit with the little kids. They’re okay and all, but sheesh, they really make a mess when they eat.”

She grabbed Elissa’s hand and tugged her into the hallway. “Come on. You can finish unpacking later.” She barely paused long enough to let Elissa pull her suite door shut.

“I’m coming,” Elissa said, laughing as she was dragged along. They stepped out of the building and into the early-evening breeze.

The Ojai valley was about two hours north and west of Los Angeles. In the summer the temperatures climbed well into the hundreds during the day. September might mean fall in other parts of the country, but here it was just another month of warm days with perfect blue skies and cool, star-filled nights.

Despite Tiffany’s determined pace toward the dining hall, Elissa looked around at the grounds. It was much as she remembered, with lush lawns and tall, full trees. Bikes and basketballs sat in patches of shade. A couple of dozen children of various ages were all headed for the same low, one-story building at the end of the driveway.

She tried to superimpose the reality of what she was seeing onto the memories in her head. The trees were taller, the bushes thicker. Of course, the children’s faces were different. But the orphanage itself seemed much the same. There was an air of quiet contentment around the place. Children might prefer a “normal” upbringing with natural parents, but if they had to survive on their own, the Grace Orphanage provided an admirable alternative.

“Oh, look!” Tiffany said, then waved her free hand. “Cole, Cole, over here. Look. I’m bringing Elissa to the dining room.”

Cole spotted them. For a moment their eyes met. Elissa knew if they had been alone, he would have turned away and not acknowledged her presence. But with Tiffany and the other children around, he didn’t have a choice. He gave her a tight smile that didn’t come close to warming the chill in his dark eyes, then turned his attention to the preteen.

Instantly the cold heated to a welcoming warmth. “Are you acting as the official greeter?” he asked as he approached.

Tiffany nodded. “I like Elissa. Millie hired her, right?”

Cole touched a hand to his chest. “I made one mistake and you’re never going to let me forget it. I fired the guy, didn’t I?”

“Mr. Benjamin was mean and he had bad breath,” Tiffany said, and shuddered. “None of the kids liked him. But Elissa’s nice, so I forgive you.” She looked around. “There’s not gonna be any good seats left. I’ll run ahead and save places, okay?”

She took off before either of them could respond. Elissa found herself watching the girl’s long-legged stride, staring after her, knowing the only alternative was to look at Cole. And that would never do. Expecting him to be unfriendly was very different from actually experiencing the distance firsthand.

However, once Tiffany disappeared into the building, Elissa had to focus on her companion. She risked glancing at him, only to find him staring at her.

She could get lost in his gaze. He’d always been intense, and that’s what inevitably drew her in. Even as a child, she’d been curious about his soul-stirring thoughts. She’d wanted to understand the complex workings of his mind.

What was he thinking now? Did he wonder why she was there? Had he thought about her while they’d been apart? Did he remember, as she did, the good times they’d shared? Had he missed her even a little?

She wanted to know that he still cared, that some part of him had longed for her. But if that were true he would have come after her, or at least tried to get in touch with her. And he hadn’t. Not even once.

“Tiffany is very interesting,” she said when it became apparent he wasn’t going to be the one to speak first.

“In what way?”

Elissa shrugged and turned toward the dining hall. Cole fell into step beside her. All the children had disappeared inside and they were the only ones left on the path. Sunlight shone through leafy branches, creating patches of light and dark. The moment had a surreal quality, as if she were living a dream.

“She told me about her mother,” Elissa said. “That the woman is alive, but unable to take care of her.”

“In polite circles we say that Tiffany’s mom has a drug problem. For a while she was missing and presumed dead. That’s how Tiffany ended up here. Her mother showed up in a hospital emergency room, half-dead from an overdose. Rehab hasn’t helped in the past, so the judge said Tiffany could stay here.”

“That’s sad,” Elissa said, thinking that she and her sisters might complain about their childhood, but at least they’d had parents and a home.

“What’s important for Tiffany is that her mom is alive,” Cole continued. “She can tell herself she still has one parent, so she’s not a real orphan.”

Cole had been a real orphan, Elissa remembered. And his dream of being adopted had never come true.

They walked in silence for a couple of seconds, then Cole asked, “How did you know I was here?”

“The orphanage newsletter. My sisters and I each get a copy. There was an article when you became the director.”

He grunted in response. She wondered what he was thinking. Only people donating money received a copy of the newsletter. Did he think she was doing that out of concern, or maybe even out of guilt? She didn’t have the courage to ask, so she searched for a question that would make him squirm.

“How did you know I was in Los Angeles?” she asked.

“You’re my wife. It’s my business to know where you are.”

“But not your business to stay in touch?”

He ignored the question. “I don’t know why you’re here, Elissa, and I don’t want to know. As far as I’m concerned, you’re just another employee. I expect you to do whatever Millie tells you. You’re to be here for the children and to stay out of trouble. Your social life takes a back seat to your work.”

“My social life?” They’d reached the dining hall, but neither of them opened the door to step inside. “That’s quite an assumption. If I had one that was that interesting, I would hardly be willing to bury myself up here. Believe me, you have nothing to worry about.”

His forbidding expression said he didn’t believe her.

“What’s your point?” she asked. “Are you accusing me of seeing another man?” If only that were true. If only she had been able to forget Cole enough to date someone else. But she hadn’t. Even if she’d been interested, she wouldn’t have allowed herself to pursue anything. Despite the nearly five-year separation, she considered herself a married woman.

“Whatever else has been between us,” she said quietly, “I’m still your wife. I haven’t betrayed you.”

“Of course you have.” He pulled open the door.

A burst of laughter surrounded them, effectively ending the conversation. Elissa clenched her hands into tight fists, then stepped into the building. Cole might have thought he’d won that round, but if he figured he’d defeated her, he was wrong. Many things had changed in the time they’d been apart. For one thing, she’d grown up.

“Over here!” Tiffany called. The preteen stood and waved.

Cole let out an audible groan. Tiffany had saved two seats together.

As they made their way across the room, Elissa glanced around. Children and employees ate together at round tables seating eight. Wide windows opened onto the grounds, letting in light and giving the room an open feel. A long buffet filled the far wall. A few children were in line, but most had already served themselves and found seats.

At the front of the room was a small platform. Cole headed toward it. Elissa didn’t know if she should follow him or take her seat next to Tiffany.

“I’m going to introduce you,” he said curtly. “You don’t have to say anything. Just stand where the kids can see you.”

Voices faded as soon as he took his place. He smiled, a genuine smile, like the one he’d given Tiffany. Elissa wondered if she was ever going to see one aimed in her direction.

“Evening, everyone,” he said.

“Hi, Cole,” the children and adults answered as one.

He made a couple of announcements about study hours and which movies would be rented for the weekend. Elissa used the time to glance around at the children.

They were an eclectic group, ranging in age from five to seventeen. There were fifty-seven children in all, and a staff of eighteen, including herself. Cole was the director, Millie the office manager. Two couples lived on the premises permanently and eleven college students worked part-time. Some came in on afternoons and weekends, others worked a night shift that allowed them to have free room and board while providing supervision in the sleeping quarters.

“Elissa is the newest member of our family,” he said and nodded to her.

She smiled at the children.

“She’s here to assist Millie in the office and to fill in anywhere she’s needed. However, Elissa’s only going to be with us for a couple of months.”

She didn’t hear the rest of what he was saying—she was too furious. Bad enough that he accused her of betraying him, now he was telling the children she wasn’t going to be sticking around. She felt like the witch in Snow White. Why not just make her wear a sign. Warning—Do Not Take Apples From This Woman.

When Cole had finished his speech, the children clapped politely. Cole led her over to the seats Tiffany had saved. “Help yourself to the buffet,” he said, and turned away.

“Aren’t you eating with us?” Tiffany asked.

“Not tonight.”

“But you always eat with us,” she said, her voice close to a whine. “I saved you a seat.”

He ruffled her bangs. “Next time, kid. I promise.”

With that, he was gone.

As Tiffany took her through the buffet line and explained which items were delicious and which should be avoided at all costs, Elissa couldn’t help thinking about Cole. He’d been difficult and withdrawn when she’d known him before, and that hadn’t changed. If anything, he’d gotten worse. But one thing was the same—he was a man of his word. He’d obviously meant what he said when he’d told her they would never be friends.

* * *

Three hours later Elissa closed the door to her two-room suite and breathed a sigh of relief. She’d enjoyed spending time getting to know the children, but it had been a long day. Her evening usually consisted of an occasional dinner out or some quality time with a good book. Trying to concentrate on a board game while being bombarded with questions from fifty curious children had sapped the last of her reserves. Still, she had one more thing she had to do before she could crawl into bed.

She found the blank pad of paper she’d left on her nightstand and returned to the living room. After clicking on a floor lamp, she settled into a corner of the sofa and nibbled on the end of her pen.

The kids’ clothes were fine. Many were obviously hand-me-downs, but that happened in every family, not just at orphanages. Some of the buildings needed painting. That was one option, although not one that thrilled her.

She closed her eyes and thought about what she’d seen on her way into the dining room. Trees, grass, bushes, a couple of bikes, a basketball. She replayed the image and realized the basketball had looked flat, while the bikes were old and dented. Hmm, now that she thought about it, she didn’t remember seeing any playground equipment. That’s where she would start.