The Seven Swords

NILS JOHNSON-SHELTON

CONTENTS

COVER

TITLE PAGE

 

PROLOGUE

1 - IN WHICH QWON FIGURES SHE MIGHT BE IN CANADA

2 - HOW MERLIN RETURNS, AND WHAT HE HAS TO SAY FOR HIMSELF

3 - IN WHICH MERLIN TELLS OF THE NEXT QUEST

4 - IN WHICH QWON HAS THE DISTINCT PLEASURE OF MEETING SHALLOT LE FEY

5 - HOW ERIK ERIKSSEN IS KIDNAPPED AND TAKEN TO THE OTHERWORLD

6 - IN WHICH A PLAN FORMS AND DRED HATES ON FAIRIES

7 - IN WHICH ERIK TELLS OF HOW HE USED TO BE A DRAGON SLAYER . . . KINDA

8 - HOW ARTIE AND CREW ENJOY CROSSING OVER TO NORTHERN SWEDEN

9 - IN WHICH THE PARTY SPLITS UP, AND HOW MAYBE THAT ISN'T SUCH A SMART IDEA

10 - IN WHICH QWON ENJOYS PRISON LIFE—NOT!

11 - IN WHICH ARTIE PLAYS A LITTLE
LET'S MAKE A DEAL
!

12 - IN WHICH ARTIE CROSSES PATHS WITH DRED

13 - CONCERNING A BUNCH OF STUFF, INCLUDING A SURPRISE FOR KYNDER

14 - IN WHICH DRED GETS AN EARFUL AND QWON GETS SOME TREATS

15 - IN WHICH MERLIN SENDS OVER A PRETTY SWEET CARE PACKAGE

16 - IN WHICH ARTIE AND CREW VISIT A LOVELY OLD CRYPT

17 - HOW ARTIE AND COMPANY ARE TREATED TO A LITTLE FEE-FI-FO-FUM

18 - IN WHICH BEDEVERE IS PATCHED UP

19 - HOW BORS IS DELIVERED

20 - IN WHICH DRED IS LET IN ON A SECRET

21 - IN WHICH CLIVE BREAKS KYNDER'S HAND

22 - IN WHICH MERLIN APOLOGIZES FOR BEING AN INSENSITIVE WIZARD

23 - IN WHICH ARTIE AND COMPANY VISIT JAPAN

24 - ON THE ESCAPE FROM CASTEL DEORC WÆTERS

25 - IN WHICH ARTIE AND COMPANY ENTER THE SHRINE OF HORRORS

26 - “WHERE ARE YOU, ARTIE KINGFISHER?”

27 - ON THE ORIGINS OF A CERTAIN WIZARD

28 - IN WHICH KYNDER CHATS WITH MERLIN

29 - IN WHICH THE RENDEZVOUS COMMENCES

30 - HOW THE RENDEZVOUS IS RIDICULOUSLY UNFUN

31 - IN WHICH ARTIE AND CREW TAKE ON THE FENLAND BOSS'S HORDES

32 - IN WHICH ARTIE AND EXCALIBUR ARE REUNITED, AND WHAT ENSUES

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

BACK AD

CREDITS

COPYRIGHT

ABOUT THE PUBLISHER

PROLOGUE

From
The Fairy Book of Pretelling

How Comes Thy Newest King

 

The incomparable sword, from the depths of the Lake.

See Merlin Ambrosius, with tongue like a snake.

He slithers and lies, and waits long in vain

For the orphan king of Lady Igraine.

 

At last he arrives and dons his mail

And, with his fair knights, parts open the veil.

Gate one is refound and quickly thrown wide;

Now Arthur the Next no longer can hide.

 

Lo! See the many changes in store:

The wizard is free, imprisoned no more.

As the king surveys and crisscrosses the field,

The Worlds are rejoined and the earth, it is healed.

 

Have faith, young king, be noble and ready;

Make haste for the Seven, surefire and steady.

Fail not—

Else the Worlds will rot.

1 - IN WHICH QWON FIGURES SHE MIGHT BE IN CANADA

Qwon Onakea's clouded mind fluttered
in and out as she was carried over a large kid's shoulder.

Her senses returned slowly. First came the pain of hunger in the pit of her stomach. Then the sounds of the boy's footfalls and his labored breathing. After this was the heady smell of new rain and dirt. Then there was taste, which was totally unpleasant; Qwon was ridiculously thirsty, and her mouth was coated with a dry, bitter film.

Last came sight. Some things she recognized—the green and wet ground, a small campfire at night, the boy's leather boots—but a lot of what she saw looked like it came from another world.

For instance, the boy carried a long sword and wore a strange mash-up of armor—part leather, part chain mail, part denim—which in her more lucid moments Qwon thought was pretty strange. Who carried a sword and wore armor these days? No one. No one who wasn't loony, anyway.

Loonier than this was the boy's traveling companion. In shape and size it resembled a rat, but it was covered with iridescent blue scales like an exotic snake; its tail was fat and furry like a squirrel's; and its face was comically scrunched like a pug dog's. Qwon couldn't explain how, but she could swear that sometimes when the boy talked to this animal it answered back.

With words.

The boy called the animal Smash, and Smash called the boy Dred.

Where was she? Not Pennsylvania, that was for sure. Racked by hunger and half-deluded, Qwon wondered if there was a Red Lobster nearby. Qwon kind of loved Red Lobster. Those endless salad bars rocked. Maybe they were in Canada or something. Did Canada have Red Lobsters? She didn't know. Probably. But then, she'd never been to Canada.

Qwon was unconscious a lot and couldn't be sure how long their trip lasted. Twice daily the boy lowered a canteen to her mouth and made her drink a cool liquid that was both sweet and bitter, like children's medicine. Qwon knew this concoction was doing just enough to sustain her, but she also believed it was keeping her in a state of paralysis, for she couldn't twitch a finger or even utter a word.

Dred never spoke to her and she never saw his face because he wore a weird medieval-looking helmet all the time. He walked and walked and walked some more. It was always cloudy and it rained constantly. Qwon's clothing clung uncomfortably to her body as the relentless patter of raindrops seemed to go on forever.

But then, on what turned out to be the last day of their journey, the land around them changed. The clouds parted and the sun broke through, crashing over her back. It felt glorious.

Dred stopped at the edge of a swamp. Qwon watched Smash scurry up his leg, pausing midthigh to take a long look at her. The creature was strange but very cute. Its eyes were deep black, and like most animals, it looked like it knew things that people never would.

Dred resumed walking, and Qwon found herself thinking about her house back in Shadyside, and her parents, who'd separated just over a year ago. Then she thought about Artie and Kay Kingfisher and that weird sword they'd had in their backyard. That seemed significant for some reason, but she couldn't place it, and for the life of her she couldn't remember exactly how she'd been kidnapped.

Dred's feet crunched on a road that wound up a steep hill. They passed others, who Dred greeted with a cheery “Hallo!” or “Whassup?” Some commented on the turn in the weather, and they agreed that it was long overdue.

Not one of these people mentioned the girl draped over Dred's shoulder. Qwon figured maybe this kind of thing was normal around here. Qwon figured she was dealing with some very eccentric but very professional kidnappers. Qwon also figured she probably wasn't in Canada.

The road finally leveled and they stopped. Dred lowered Qwon to the ground, propped her against a pile of stones, and grabbed her chin. Smash jumped onto her thighs and dug his claws into her filthy blue jeans. Dred held her head up so she could see what was in front of them.

It was a castle. A real, honest-to-goodness castle with normal castle things like a drawbridge, a moat, and a curtain-like wall surrounding a cluster of towers and buildings. But it wasn't normal, not at all. One of the towers was made entirely of dark-green glass, like a huge empty bottle. Wisteria covered with thick cones of purple flowers crawled around its walls, and many of the stones in these walls were rose-colored or bright green. The closed drawbridge was painted a garish pink and appeared to have the world's largest lace doily pasted on it. Over the drawbridge, in a bubbly script, were the words
Castel Deorc Wæters
. The
o
in
Deorc
was shaped like a heart.

Qwon thought it looked more like a dollhouse in a fairy garden than a fortress. She rolled her eyes, which was all she could manage in her paralyzed state.

Dred sighed and said, “I know.” It was the first time he seemed at all sympathetic to Qwon's feelings, though she had an inkling that Dred thought
she
was the one being sympathetic to
him
. “She's nuts,” he said, though Qwon had no idea who he was talking about. “You better hope she's happy today and doesn't do away with you on the spot.”

Qwon shut her eyes and wished that she were back home, in her room, wearing clean clothes. She wished that she were able to run.

But she wasn't.

Dred heaved Qwon back over his shoulder. As he walked toward the castle, she heard the sounds of great chains clanking, then a thud that reverberated in her chest. The drawbridge. They walked across, and the water in the moat looked like ink. This must have been the “Deorc Wæters” that the “Castel” was named after.

Dred entered the fortress and walked for a long time down cavernous halls, turning corners and going up and down at least six flights of stairs. The place was well lit and smelled like a flower shop—two more things Qwon thought of as being distinctly un-castle-like.

Finally they reached a large room with thick white carpeting. Qwon's head lolled back as Dred plopped her into an upholstered chair, and she saw sunlight pouring in from high stained-glass windows. Then her head fell forward and she saw that Dred was strapping her ankles and wrists to the chair with leather belts. He pulled them tight, and the pain reassured her that her body was sound.

A sugary voice from across the room said, “Hello, my pets!”

“Mum,” Dred said as Smash ran enthusiastically toward the woman.

“So this is the girl, hmm?” the woman asked. She sounded like a well-meaning aunt, the kind who always brought candy when she came to visit.

“Yep,” Dred answered.

“And was she difficult to secure?”

“Kind of. He was there. He had Excalibur.”

Excalibur!

The word rang in Qwon's ears.

All at once Qwon remembered her kidnapping: she was sitting in her room listening to her iPod when a person covered in—
moss?
yes, in moss—flew through her open window and grabbed her. Then Artie was knocking on her door, and then he was cutting it to pieces—
with a sword!

Excalibur!

Dred—who evidently had been this moss-covered person—gagged Qwon as Artie demanded that she be released. Then Artie said, “Darkness!” and the room became as black as tar. The next thing Qwon knew, she was on the floor with Dred's knee in her back. She recalled hearing something hit Dred. Then she passed out and all was quiet and dark, and her journey through the strange wilderness was under way.

The woman approached. She was chubby, very pretty, and looked about fifty. She was dressed in a bright-green pantsuit, wore red-rimmed glasses, and had cute silver shoes on her feet. She was absolutely covered in tacky, shiny bangles and wore tons of thin chains around her neck. She had reddish-brown hair, freckles, and a cheerful smile. Like Kay Kingfisher, she had different-colored eyes—but hers were brown and purple instead of blue and green. One of her eyebrows was a shock of white.

She stopped and leaned on a long broadsword in front of Qwon. “I see,” the woman said. “He wasn't able to use it on you, was he?”

“He used it to black out the room,” Dred recounted, “and somehow he shot at me with an arrow, but other than that, no.”

“Well, thank goodness. I don't know what I'd do without you, snookums.”

Dred didn't say anything.

The woman said, “Why don't you bring our dear guest back to life, hmm?”

“As you wish, Mum.” Dred held a vial to Qwon's lips and poured a liquid into her mouth. She drank. It tasted like water.

At first nothing happened, but then Qwon's arms and legs tingled like they'd been asleep, and she realized that she could move again. She tried desperately to get up, but the straps stopped her. She also tried to cry out, but no sound came.

“Tell me, dearie, do you know who I am?”

Qwon shook her head.

“My name is Lordess Morgaine. This boy is Mordred, though I'm the only one who calls him that. As you must know by now, he goes simply by Dred, which is a perfectly apt name for him.”

Dred nodded slightly.

Qwon stopped trying to escape from the straps and gazed at the sword the woman leaned on. Qwon's grandfather, Tetsuo, who was a kendo master, had taught her a lot about swords. One of the things he taught her was that somewhere in the world there was an ancient blade named Kusanagi that belonged only to her. Qwon never really believed him, and didn't even know if Kusanagi was real. But what Qwon did know, and hoped that this Morgaine person didn't, was that she was actually pretty gifted with a blade. If she could just get her hands on that sword, then maybe she'd have a shot at getting away from these people.

Morgaine pulled back and said, “Tell me, Mistress Qwon, do you recognize this sword?”

Even if Qwon could have spoken, she wouldn't have given this woman the satisfaction of an answer.

“I think you do, dearie,” Morgaine said sweetly. “This is Excalibur! None other than the sword of King Arthur himself—or Artie Kingfisher, as he's called these days. And though it's missing its pommel, it's still quite a prize.”

Qwon felt the room tilt. Wait. Artie was
King Arthur
? That was downright nuts.

Morgaine continued, “I was lucky enough to steal it from him while you and Mordred were traipsing through the swamp. I know that you are special to young Kingfisher, Mistress Qwon, which means that for the moment you are special to me—until the next new moon rises, anyway.”

Qwon surged forward, straining even harder at her restraints than before.

Morgaine beamed. “Feisty. I like that. Listen here, Qwon of Shadyside. You're going to help me, whether you like it or not. With you, I will draw this ‘Artie' out, and once I do, I will retrieve the pommel and mend Excalibur. Then it will be truly priceless. What I do after that doesn't concern you, because your usefulness will have expired.” She cupped Qwon's chin in her hand and said, “I wonder what I'll do with you. . . . No matter. Whatever it is, trust that it will not be pleasant.”

Morgaine turned to Dred and said, “Be a dear and show Mistress Qwon to her quarters. Put her with that feral fairy. Observe the manner of their, er,
acquaintance
, and report back to me.”

“Yes, Mum,” Dred said unenthusiastically.

Morgaine waved her hand and, as if by magic, Qwon's body went lifeless again. Dred unbuckled her and threw her back over his shoulder. He sighed quietly and they left the room.