The Seven Year Itch (23 page)

“Well, sir. There are twenty-two people working in this
office, at least eight of which have access to the vault. We’ll find out which
one is involved tomorrow, if you allow us to go forward with the op.”

He nodded and let out a long sigh. “In the meantime, I’m
ordering security to sweep this entire building. They can start tonight before
our perceptive employees arrive in the morning and rumors become another
distraction.”

He stood and patted Tony’s shoulder before walking to the
door. “Let me get home before my wife threatens to divorce me...for the
second
time this week. You two get some
shuteye. You’ve got important work to do tomorrow and we’re all counting you.”

“Yes, sir,” Tony said. He secured the door behind him.

J.J. and Tony glanced at each other, relieved. Their
shoulders sagged and breathing calmed. Although they’d made some significant
progress, they were far from in the clear.

“Whew! That was a close one,” J.J. said. “You know I got to
thinking, if the device is here, nine times out of ten, the receiver is here
too.”

Without hesitation, she walked straight to Chris’s desk. Both
Lana and Jack had suspected he was dirty. Maybe he’d left the evidence to prove
it. She opened he desk drawers, one after the other. Scouring through his
office supplies. Looking for anything that appeared unusual or out of place.
Any kind of electronic that could be used as a receiver. When she reached the
bottom drawer, she saw it. An iPod with a flash drive embedded in the rear
casing. She turned it on, but the display didn’t operate normally. The
backlight glowed on but no menu appeared. She examined the seams along the
edges.

This has been opened.

She held it up in Tony’s view. “I’ll bet you ten-to-one this
is it. Probably uses the flash drive to save the recordings. I’ll take this to
security and let them scan it.”

“Chris. Rat piece of shit.”

“Come hell or high water, he’ll get his comeuppance before
the day’s end.”

“Indeed.”

The look in Tony’s eye said he was now in it for the long
haul. Sink or sail, they were in the same boat. She loaded the briefcase and
scanned the office. One way or another, the office would never be the same. And
two days might spell the end of her ten-year career.

“Listen, I was wondering if I could stay at your place
tonight...on the couch of course. We gotta be in the park by five a.m. and my
place is further from the city than yours.”

She hesitated to answer out of more than her fear of love;
she’d made a promise to Tony she hadn’t kept. “Hmmm. Is this because you don’t
want to drive...or because you want to keep an eye on me...or because you want
to keep a hand on me?”

“Maybe all of the above,” Tony said, a smile seizing his
lips. “Okay, just the first two. Whadaya say?”

J.J.’s skepticism and stress level were both on overdrive.
Maybe with the security of Tony’s presence she could finally get a good night’s
rest. Her biggest fear was, of course that neither of them would sleep. She and
Tony sacking out in her condo was the definition of pulling strings, and Tony
was yanking the hell out of them. Perhaps he didn’t grasp the full gravity of
his suggestion. Maybe he believed they could resist temptation despite their
innermost desires. Or he may have realized the other night could have destroyed
their friendship and he decided to reverse course and suppress his feelings.
Or...maybe he knew the position he was putting them in and his desire surpassed
all reason. This could mean trouble for the both of them. Big trouble.

But, after all, trouble was J.J.’s middle name.

Chapter 37

Wednesday
Night…

T
ony stared helplessly at
the shelf containing a mish-mash of cable boxes and receivers. He had no idea
he’d need an engineering degree to turn on the television.

“How do you turn on the TV.?” he called out.

“You’ve been here twenty minutes and already you wanna take
over the remote controls,” she said exiting her bedroom. J.J. had scuttled
away
 
to put on her pajamas as soon as
they crossed the threshold, nearly overheating at the thought of a man spending
an entire night in her home. After all, she was no spring chicken and it had
been a while since she’d been locked in with someone for whom she cared so
deeply.

“You mean all twenty of them? No, I’m a one-remote kinda
guy,” he said. “I’d just like to watch the NFL channel. They’re replaying
Sunday’s Jets-Patriots game that I missed thanks to Mr. Dmitriyev.”

J.J. walked to the shelf and turned on everything in about
ten seconds, shaking her head at his technical ineptitude.

“Men!”

“Can I get a beer?”

“Sure, they’re in the refrigerator. I’ll have one too while
you’re at it.” She grabbed the briefcase containing the files and plunked them
down on the couch. He gave her a look that said “I wish I could kick your ass
back to the 1950s.”

She snickered and jumped up to grab one from the icebox,
returning seconds later. She placed them atop coasters on the coffee table.
“Here you go! Do you want me to throw your clothes in the washer? I pulled out
some of my brother’s old gym stuff and laid them on the bed if you want to
change. You guys are about the same size.”

“That’ll work. Appreciate the offer,” he said, as he headed
for the bedroom. “Now while I’m changing, no peeking!”

“Don’t worry, I don’t need to…,” she said, “…the camera’s
running.”

She grabbed a stack of paperwork from the dining room table
and
 
planted herself in a seat at the end
of couch furthest from Tony.

He returned just few minutes later, dressed in a pair of
Lakers’ basketball shorts and a matching sleeveless T-shirt, exposing
everything J.J. prayed hid beneath his clothes but that she hadn’t seen in the
flesh. Now she wanted to devour him in every heavenly way imaginable.

Lord have mercy on me!
she thought to herself.
Jesus be the
Great Wall of China
!

She pushed the hot, sweaty thoughts of a forbidden night with
him from her mind, her skin grew flush. She glanced away, moving her gaze from
the T.V., to the floor, to the ticking clock outside the kitchen, anything was
better than dealing with the surge of emotions overwhelming her as she looked
at him.

“You all right?”

“Uhhhh...yeah. I’m fine.” Without realizing it, she fanned
herself with a file folder. “Is it warm in here? I think I need to crack open a
window.” She popped up and slid open the patio door a few inches to the left.

Tony noticed her flustered appearance and chuckled. “Maybe,
you better have a sip of your beer. It’ll cool you down.” He grabbed both
bottles and clasped them between his fingers before opening them. Then he held
one out for her. The curve in his pecks called to her as he reached out his
arm.

She trembled inside. Only a cold shower or a warm bed could
offer the kind of cooling she needed. “Salut. Here’s to a few sips of beer,”
she said as their bottle clinked together. “Now. On your next visit, you are no
longer a guest. You can get your own beer...and mine too while you’re at it.”
She returned to her seat at the sofa’s edge. She wanted him, to feel him inside
her, to press her body against his, but life was too complicated and her fears
too stifling.

“Next visit, huh?” He looked at her and winked.

“Careful, Tony. You’re pulling strings again.”

In one swift motion too fast for J.J. to react to or
comprehend, Tony emptied his seat and appeared next to her. Unnerved, her mouth
fell slightly open. She planned to run, but he grabbed her forearm before she
could flinch. “Hear me out,” he said tilting his face toward hers. To fight him
would be a futile exercise. She knew it. And he knew it. “We’ve been, you know,
pulling strings for a long time now. I don’t know about you but I’m kind of
liking what I see. Maybe pulling strings ain’t such a bad thing.”

“I’m not sure what you trying to say.” She stared at her
knees wondering how long it would take her to fall if she tried to stand.

He craned his neck, tried to draw her gaze to his face, but
her eyes remained fixed on her knees instead; they were harmless. They could
convince her of nothing.

“I’m saying...I’m saying that we have a lot of reasons to
fight against this ‘thing’ between us—our families, society...ourselves. But
when I see your smile,
 
I don’t see a
black woman. I see my life. Everything in here,” he pressed his hand to his
heart, “tells me to deal with the bullshit and fight for you...for us.”

She gasped and placed her hand over her mouth. Finally, he’d
spoken the words she’d longed to pass his beautiful Italian lips. She wanted so
much to reach out to him, to melt away in his arms. But their lives were too
complicated, love too unpredictable, and society too unaccepting. Perhaps her
wounds from the debacle with Six had yet to heal. Maybe she needed to tend to
her own unfinished business before starting something new. Or maybe, for a
change, she could stop thinking with her head and leap with her heart. She
shuffled the files around nervously on her lap, disturbing the pregnant silence
as she fished for a response.

“Well?” Tony asked, his eyes still chasing hers.

She sighed and finally looked at him. Eye to eye. Everything
in her heart affirmed her desire, but the timing, the timing couldn’t be worse.
Then again, it couldn’t be better either.

The answer came. Her response required courage she didn’t
possess in the moment but she hoped to find it sooner than later. “How about we
get through this op and we’ll talk about it again when we’ve put this mess
behind us tomorrow? Just one more day.”

He reluctantly nodded. “Under one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“Rub my feet. My corns hurt.”

She laughed and shook her head. What else could she do with a
man who stopped her heart one moment and cracked her up the next...except share
her life with him.

“Oh, I’ll rub your feet all right.” She grabbed a pillow and
pounded him over the head. They bowled over in laughter when he finally
 
submitted.

“Actually,” she said. “I’ve got a much better idea.”

•
 
•
 
•

 
“Ooooooooh, J.J. That. Feels. Sooooooooo gooooooood!
Don’t stop! Don’t stop!” Tony moaned, his eyes rolling in the back of his head.
She’d expressed his body to sublime ecstasy.

She smiled, enjoying the site of him. He was her heaven on
Earth. “Is it warm?”

“Mhmmm hmmmm. Warm and wet. Just the way I like it.”

“I’m gonna stop in a minute,” J.J. said. “You gotta get down
here and do me next.”

He peered through his half-open lids. “Do
you?
”

“Yeah! My feet hurt too. You can change the water in the Dr.
Scholl’s foot bath while I take a seat.”

“Oh, all right,” he said laughing. “It’s only fair.”

She smiled to herself, knowing he would.

Tony made her choice easy and yet hard at the same time. Did
he really understand what they’d be getting into? She understood the issue of race
and America in a way he never would, at least until he started dating
her
. Could he handle the rude awakening,
the inevitable moment when society reminded him just how white she isn’t? Times
had changed in some ways to most people. But not enough to all.

Maybe she was jaded by years of watching her parents in the
struggle. Loving Six was easy because he was black. Leaving him was easy
because he was an asshole. Loving Tony wasn’t easy, it was effortless, a
natural state of being. Avoiding him because he was “not black” was the most
difficult thing she’d ever done.

There were times when J.J. adored Tony’s honesty and the fact
that he never made her itch. This was not one of those times.

Decisions. Decisions.

As she later slipped into bed and submerged herself beneath
her comforter, she tried her best to drown out the latest string of events. Her
mind spun, flustered with the onslaught of challenge after challenge. She
couldn’t sleep. She reached into the nightstand, grabbed a fifth of Belvedere
and gulped until her troubles washed away.

•
 
•
 
•

“Rise and shine sleepy head,” Tony said as he
poked his head through her bedroom door. Four a.m. came four hours too early
for Tony, and he knew she was usually a late sleeper. He could hear the wind
rustle the windows as he eased through the threshold. “J.J.? You hear me?”

She still didn’t respond, probably couldn’t hear him above
her snores. He eased toward the bed calling her name and she didn’t flinch or
move. As he reached on her nightstand to turn on the lamp, the moonlight shone
on her face. She looked so angelic, so precious. He wanted to plant the
sweetest of kisses on her lips but smiled instead. As he pressed his finger
against the light switch, words emerged from her steady rumbles.

“I love you, Tony,” she murmured, followed by another round
of snores.

He froze and drank in every delicious word. Then he shook it
off.
She’s just dreaming
, he thought.
Then again, she was dreaming of him.

Suddenly, her leg jerked and he heard a glass bottle fall hit
the floor. She awakened, just as Tony lifted the empty bottle from the floor.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” she said, running her tongue
across her teeth, still groggy from the alcohol’s effects.

“Believe me, I tried. What the fuck is this? You promised me!”

“I’m sorry, Tony!” she said, scrambling to untangle her feet
from the blankets. She rushed to him, arms outstretched. “I’m so
so
sorry! I-I couldn’t sleep. I haven’t slept in weeks.
Months. Maybe years. I don’t know. I thought with you here, I could—But I
couldn’t—So I—”

“Stop, just stop it, J.J. I don’t want to hear it,” Tony
said, snatching his arm from her grip.

She placed her hand on him again but still he rejected her.
“I swear to God, Tony! I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“Yeah, well, apparently, you have no trouble lying to
yourself! Don’t you understand we’ll be failing a polygraph tomorrow and two
men will die if this op doesn’t go as planned. There’s no way I’m gonna let you
go on this operation this morning.”

She stopped cold, took a step back. “Let me? You can’t ground
me like I’m some kid. This is
my
operation…
for
my
source.”

“Oh, your operation, huh? So I’ve just been following behind
you with my head in my ass, is ‘at what you’re tryin’ to say?”

She shook her head no and walked up to him. Within seconds
his hand was in hers and he was slow to pull away. “No, that’s not—. Tony I’m
sorry,” she began, tears streaming down her eyes. “Everything’s been spiraling
out of control and I don’t know how to handle it. I don’t know what to do. But
God, if I hurt you. If I lost you, I don’t...I don’t—”

She released him, returned to the bed, and rained blankets of
tears into her palms.

In all the time Tony knew her, he’d never seen J.J. shed a
tear. As with everything else in her life, she’d excelled so well at concealing
her fears and emotions that the depth of her pain stunned him, stopped his
breath. He had no idea she hadn’t slept. He had no idea she was so out of
control.

Everything had changed. She had exposed her deepest
weaknesses and vulnerabilities to him and he saw her with new eyes—the eyes of
a man who loved her come what may. His anger subsided, and he wanted nothing
except to stop her from hurting.
 

He knelt in front of her, wiped the tears from her eyes, and caressed
her cheek. “I didn’t know J.J., I didn’t know. But I’m here and I’m not going
anywhere, Hai
capito
?” he said.

She smiled weakly through her tears.

“We’ll make it okay,” he said, the corners of his lips
lifting at the corners. “Whadaya say we just get this op over with today and
we’ll figure out a solution later...together?”

She nodded and released his hands. Then she dragged her
pajama sleeve across her eyes as she stepped into the closet and pulled some
Dockers and a polo shirt from their hangers.

Watching her step into the bathroom and flip the light on,
Tony teased, “Now, can a brotha get some coffee?”
 

Before she shut the door, she shook her head and chuckled.
“Yeah...at Starbucks. It’s on the way!”

•
 
•
 
•

Inside the bathroom, J.J. dropped her clothes
on the floor and gripped her right wrist so tightly the rush of blood made her
fingers turn red. She wondered if she could even hold steady her toothbrush;
she couldn’t will her digits still no matter how hard she tried.
 

“Not today,” she said in a whispered scream. “Not today!”