The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya (17 page)

“Though she appears to be having fun right now,” continued Koizumi with a smile that lacked any sense of urgency.

“We must strive to keep Suzumiya’s quirks within the contents of the movie.”

“If you want to become a baseball player, you start by practicing swinging. If you want to become a shogi or go player, you start by memorizing rules. If you want to score the highest on final exams, you should start by having the resolve to stay awake all night with your eyes glued to your textbook. In other words, different methods can be applied to the concept of hard work. However, what kind of hard work is needed to eliminate Haruhi’s mental delusions?

“If you tell her to stop, there’ll be a mass outbreak of that stupid aggravating gray space. But if you just go along with her fantasies, there’s a possibility they’ll become reality.

“Either way leads to an extreme result. Does she not understand the concept of moderation? Well, I suppose that’s what makes Haruhi Suzumiya Haruhi Suzumiya.”

I noticed that you could see more green in the scenery outside the car. The taxi was driving a snaking uphill road. It led to the mountain the bus had taken us to yesterday.

Eventually, the car came to a stop in an empty parking lot. It was for visitors to the shrine. The shrine where Haruhi had turned a gun on the priest and doves yesterday. That’s odd. There should be more people here on Sunday.

Koizumi exited the taxi first.

“Do you remember what Suzumiya said yesterday?”

“Like I’m going to remember every random thing she’s said.”

“You’ll remember once we’re there. Let’s head inside.” He then added, “It was already like this in the morning.”

We ascended the stone stairs. We passed through here yesterday. The gate’s at the top and there’s a gravel path that leads to the shrine and that’s where the flock of doves…

“…” was my reaction.

There were doves bustling all around. A flock of birds pecking at the ground like a moving carpet. However, I couldn’t be sure that these were the same doves as yesterday.

That would be because every single feather on the mass of doves was completely white.

“… Did someone paint them?”

In just one night.

“There is no doubt that the white feathers on these doves are completely natural. They are the result of neither dyeing nor bleaching.”

“Maybe they were really scared by Haruhi. Or someone brought a whole bunch of white doves and replaced the park birds.”

“Infeasible. Who would so such a thing?”

Just throwing the idea out there. I’ve already come to my own conclusion. I just don’t want to say it aloud.

This is what Haruhi said yesterday:
I’d prefer doves that are completely white, but I’m willing to take any color at this point.

Obviously, she wasn’t.

“That’s how it is. This must be the result of an unconscious act by Suzumiya. We are fortunate that it happened a day later.”

Possibly expecting us to feed them, the rustling doves came over to us. There weren’t any other worshippers around.

“As you can see, Suzumiya’s rampage is steadily progressing. The ill practices from the film production are advancing into the real world.”

Wasn’t Asahina shooting rays and wires from her eyes enough?

“Can’t we just shoot Haruhi with a tranquilizer and let her sleep until the cultural festival’s over?”

Koizumi responded to my proposal with a chuckle.

“It’s plausible, but would you be willing to handle the aftermath when she wakes up?”

“No thanks.”

It’s not my duty to provide such service.

Koizumi shrugged. “What do we do then?”

“Isn’t she God? You fanatics can deal with it.”

Koizumi feigned a look of surprise.

“Suzumiya is God? My, who said such a thing?”

“You did?”

“Is that so?”

This guy’s the one I should punch in the face.

Koizumi laughed and delivered his usual “Just kidding” before moving on.

“The fact of the matter is, I see no problem with labeling Suzumiya as ‘God.’ The general view within the Agency is to regard her as ‘God.’ Of course, there are dissidents. I would consider myself a skeptic as well. What I’m trying to say is that if she truly were God, she would not be living in this world, unaware of that fact. A Creator should be high above, performing occasional miracles and watching calmly as we scurry around.”

I squatted down and picked up a feather that had fallen. I then began twirling the feather. The cries of the doves grew louder. Sorry, I didn’t bring any bread crumbs.

“This is what I believe.”

Koizumi was still talking to himself.

“Suzumiya was granted divine powers, and she is unaware of that fact. If a divine being really exists in this world, then Suzumiya would be a special human chosen by God. But she would still be human.”

“I don’t think it makes much difference whether she’s human or not. Still, why does Haruhi unconsciously possess such baseless magical power? Enough to turn doves white? What’s it for? Who’s it for?”

“I haven’t slightest idea. I do not know. Perhaps you do?”

Is he trying to pick a fight?

“Excuse me,” Koizumi chuckled before continuing.

“Suzumiya builds, but at the same time, she destroys. Perhaps, our current reality was a failed effort. And perhaps Haruhi Suzumiya is the existence who has been given the mission of correcting this failed world.”

Keep going.

“Which would mean that we are mistaken. Suzumiya is always in the right. We who interfere with her actions would be considered alien elements to this world. That’s not all. In fact, every human besides Suzumiya would be mistaken.”

Huh. Sounds bad, eh.

“The problem would be for those of us on the wrong side. When the world is reconstructed in its correct form, will we be a part of the new world? Will we be removed as bugs? Nobody knows the answer.”

Don’t say anything if you don’t know the answer. Especially not in a tone that makes it sound like you know what you’re talking about.

“But you could say, in a way, that she has been unable to effectively reconstruct the world. That would be because her conscious is suited to create. Suzumiya is a very positive person. However, what do you think would happen if that were reversed?”

It didn’t look like he was going to shut up. I gave up and asked, “What will happen?”

“We don’t know. However, it is easier to destroy than to create. I don’t believe in that, so it should vanish. That’s all it takes. Just like that, whatever she’s referring to would cease to exist. She can cancel everything. It doesn’t matter how strong a foe may appear, Suzumiya needs only to deny its existence and it will be destroyed. Be it magic or advanced technology. Regardless of what it may be.”

“But Haruhi wouldn’t reject it. Since that’s what she’s been waiting for.”

“That is why we are concerned,” Koizumi murmured in a voice that didn’t sound very concerned. “I doubt we have any way of knowing whether Suzumiya is a god or a similar existence of some sort, but there is one thing we can be certain of. If she were to freely use her power, it would not matter if the world changed or not because no one would realize it. That’s quite impressive. After all, Suzumiya herself would not realize it.”

“Why?”

“Because Suzumiya is part of the world. Evidence that she is not the Creator. The God who created this world should be outside of it. However, she lives in the same world as the rest of us. And the fact that she can only cause incomplete changes is unnatural and extremely bizarre.”

“From where I’m standing, you’re the bizarre one.”

Koizumi ignored me and continued.

“However, I am quite fond of the world we live in. A number of social contradictions exist, but humans should be able to deal with them over the course of time. The problem would be if there were a change such as Ptolemaic theory becoming accurate and the sun orbiting Earth. We must do what we can to prevent Suzumiya from believing such things. You returned from closed space because you were of a similar opinion, correct?”

I dunno. Beats me. I forgot already. I’ve locked away past memories I don’t want to remember.

Koizumi smiled thinly. A self-mocking sort of smile.

“I spoke out of character. I must have sounded like a defender of justice convinced that we were protecting the world. Please excuse my outburst.”

It was Monday morning. Less than a week was left before the cultural festival, yet the atmosphere in our school was as relaxed as ever. Does this school really intend to hold a cultural festival? Shouldn’t there be more activity? Everyone seems a little too laid-back. I was feeling pretty lousy as a result. And as I walked to the classroom, I came across something that made me feel even worse.

Koizumi was leaning against the wall in front of my classroom. You still have something to say after all that talking yesterday?

“Class 1-9 held play rehearsal early this morning. I just happened to be passing by.”

I’d rather not have to see your smirking face this early in the morning.

“What is it? Don’t tell me that stupid space ended up showing up again.”

“No. It never appeared yesterday. It seems that Suzumiya is too busy feeling depressed to feel irritated.”

“Why’s that?”

“You should know the answer…. But allow me to explain. Suzumiya believed that you were the only one who would always be on her side, no matter what happened. You might complain and protest, but you would support her in the end. No matter what she did, you would still forgive her. Right?”

What do you mean, “right”? The only person capable of forgiving everything she does would be one of those ancient martyred saints. And just so you know, I’m neither a saint nor a great person. Just an ordinary, sensible individual.

“Did anything happen with Suzumiya?”

Like I’d let anything happen. Nothing’s changed.

“Could you tell her to cheer up? White doves are relatively harmless. But if Suzumiya’s mood continues to deteriorate, the doves at the shrine may be replaced by something that isn’t very dove-like.”

“Like what?”

“This wouldn’t be so hard if we knew the answer to that. Would it not be fairly creepy if a swarm of slimy tentacle creatures were crawling around the shrine?”

“Just spread some salt around.”

“That wouldn’t solve the fundamental problem. Suzumiya is currently in a state of suspension. Thus far, she had been proactively altering reality through filming the movie. But after your incident yesterday, she’s gone off on an opposite tangent. From positive to negative. There wouldn’t be an issue if that were the end of it, but at this rate, things will get much worse.”

“So. You want me to comfort her?”

“It’s not that complicated. Simply kiss and make up.”

“How does that even make sense? We’re not even close or anything.”

“Well. I expected you to have cooled down by now. Was I expecting too much?”

I kept my mouth shut.

I lost my cool yesterday because the goodness of my heart couldn’t bear watching the tyrannical abuse of Asahina—or maybe not. Maybe it was just a result of calcium deficiency. Since after drinking a whole liter of milk last night, I woke up this morning to discover my rage had mysteriously evaporated. Though it could just be a placebo effect.

Still, why should I have to be the one to compromise? I’m pretty sure that everyone would agree that she was the one who went too far.

Koizumi was chuckling like a cat hacking up a hairball as he clapped my shoulder.

“I’m counting on you. Since as far as physical distance is concerned, you’re the closest one to her.”

As long as I never turned around, Haruhi, sitting right behind me, and I would never make eye contact. She appeared really interested in the weather today as she just sat there staring out the window until it was lunchtime.

On top of that, there must have been an epidemic or something because Taniguchi was in a bad mood as well.

“How was that a movie? Yesterday was such a waste of time.”

Taniguchi cursed as he ate his box lunch. Haruhi was rarely ever in the classroom during breaks, and this was no exception. If she were here, this guy wouldn’t be saying stuff like that. Timid people tend to speak loudly when the coast is clear.

“We’re talking about Suzumiya here. This movie or whatever will just end up being trash. That’s obvious.”

I don’t care what anyone else has to say. I don’t consider myself to be a remarkable person and I don’t see my name going down in history. I’m the kind of person who sits in a corner mumbling to himself. The kind who specializes in complaining about his mother’s cooking when he can’t even cook.

However, there was something I had to get off of my chest, so I did.

“You’re the last person who should be saying that.

“Taniguchi, what have you been doing? At least Haruhi is trying to participate in the cultural festival. Even if she ends up causing trouble for a bunch of people, that still makes her better than someone who does nothing besides complain. Idiot. Apologize to all the Taniguchis in this country. It must be unpleasant for the other Taniguchis to have the same name as you.”

“Now, now, Kyon.”

Kunikida came between us. “He’s just sulking. He really wanted to have more fun with Suzumiya and everyone else. He’s jealous of you.”

“Like hell I am,” Taniguchi retorted as he glared at Kunikida. “I have no intention of joining that stupid group.”

“Even though you tag along whenever you’re invited? You were happy about it yesterday. You even canceled your plans for the day.”

“Don’t mention that, stupid.”

So that’s why Taniguchi’s in a bad mood. He skipped his original plans to come yet he was sent packing after barely having any screen time. Plus he fell into the pond. I see. He deserves some sympathy. Although I’m not in the mood to offer any, seeing as how I’m pretty pissed myself.

I already knew that Haruhi’s movie was so bad, it was unfit for viewing. She’s just winging it full-speed as usual without any planning or thinking. Whatever she happens to want to film at that moment is what we film. No transition or direction. If all of this produced an amazing movie, that would be the work of a genius, and as far as I can see Haruhi doesn’t have any talent as a director. Still, when other people start pointing that out to me—well, as for why it pisses me off…