The Sin Collector (13 page)

“Please consider coming with us. Julia could use someone to look up to, someone strong and confident. She’s so lonely. I’m afraid I am terrible company.”

“She mentioned that actually. She said she didn’t want you to cry anymore.”

He hung his head and chuckled humorlessly. “That child sees far more than she lets on.”

I squeezed his hand tightly. “We all see more than you give us credit for Olexander.”

He kissed my cheek “We all regret walking away from someone Liliana,” he said it so quietly I might have missed it.

“
I suppose I could forgive you.
If
you make up with Billy and make every effort to speak to him civilly.”

He looked like he would rather have lived with my hatred but he simply sighed and pulled a sleek black cell phone out of his pocket. “Give him a call. Tell him to come back.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” He said quietly. “Have you hated me?”

I felt the tears well up in my eyes. “No, somehow I never could manage to hate you. I’ve hated myself intensely though. That was enough.”

He looked confused. “Why on earth would you hate yourself?”

“You haven’t known me for 100 years Olexander. Things I’ve done, people I’ve known. If you only knew how badly I’ve wanted someone to come and save me, merely from myself…” I didn’t finish the thought.

I dialed Billy’s cell phone number. He answered on the second ring, and agreed to come back to the boat to talk to Olexander and me. I handed Olexander his phone back and his hand lingered in mine for a moment.

“If you knew how much you meant to me Liliana, you could never hate yourself.”

His intensity was such, that although it was only for a moment, I believed him.

Billy did not look happy when his blue car pulled up at the docks. It was still just Olexander and I on the deck seated at the large table. Rebecca had barricaded herself in her room and Thomas had yet to come back. Billy walked hesitantly to sit in the chair farthest from Olexander but nearest to me.

“Let’s make this quick,” he said scathingly.

We explained to him that Lydia had been killed. He sat motionless in his chair. Olexander managed to keep accusation out of his voice at least. Finally, Billy focused on me.

“What are you going to do LiLi?”

Now I had two sets of eyes piercing a hole through me. I needed to make a decision, and I needed to make one quickly. When I realized by spending the day on the boat, I’d already decided.

“I’m going with Olexander and the others. It’s not safe here Billy. Possibly two dead Collectors is a risk I’m not willing to take.”

“William, you are of course welcome to come as well, for your own safety.” Olexander was calm and polite, but I could tell it was the very last thing he wanted and Billy’s safety was not even remotely on his list of things to worry about.

Billy smiled a wide, smug smile. “I think I will take you up on that offer. When do we leave?”

Olexander had to have been surprised, but if he was he hid it well. “We will leave at dawn; you and Liliana should pack your things and meet us back here then.”

We both nodded once to Olexander and walked back toward the car. Olexander grabbed me into a tight firm hug. “Watch your back and be careful.” He whispered, and released me.

Billy and I drove in silence to the hotel and packed our things.

There was no blocking the crimson glow emanating from every part of his body now.

“You don’t have to come with us. You could stay here with your mom,” I said meekly. He continued packing wordlessly. I was beginning to feel like a hurricane. I had come into his life and turned things upside down in a matter of a week. Now he would go from living his peaceful life of anonymity to being another passenger on what could possibly be a targeted boat in the middle of the ocean. The tension in the bedroom was palpable so I slipped into the bathroom and sat on the cool ceramic floor. I was tracing the patterns of the shower curtain with my finger when I heard three short knocks on the door.

“Can I come in?” He said, now the meek sounding one. I said yes, but it was barely more than a whisper. My breath came out funny and my voice sounded foreign. He came in and sat next to me on the floor. It was silly, we had a whole hotel room yet here we were sitting between the shower and the enormous tub like children in a fort. His voice was stern, almost business like.

“Clara knows the dangers of staying here. I told her everything last night, but she won’t leave her home. She knows how important you are to me. She wants me to go with you. I don’t want to be without you.”

“I don’t want you to go just because of me, if you don’t think Olexander is telling the truth, if you have doubts, you should stay.”

He only shook his head and I realized his mind on the matter was made up. I scooted closer and leaned against him quietly for another ten minutes or so before we both silently got up and gathered the rest of our things to set off for the docks.

As we walked to the docks, I could see Olexander on the main deck speaking with Thomas. A woman stood with them, her hair was the strangest color, and so light, it appeared silver. I felt certain it was Rebecca. She was the only Collector I had not met. I could feel the sins even at this distance. They weren’t painful or crippling, but they weren’t enjoyable. Olexander looked worried but broke into a wide smile as we boarded. Thomas walked up to Billy and slapped him on the back in a friendly way.

“
Welcome aboard mate. You need to teach me that right hook,” He said cheerily in what sounded like an Australian accent.

He reminded me of one of those adventure seekers on TV. He hadn’t shaved in a few days at least, and his reddish hair was suffering from intense bed head. His Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts completed the look. I was inclined to ask him if he knew we were all marked for death or if he just thought he was taking a long cruise.

Billy seemed slightly taken aback but shook Thomas’s hand nonetheless. Julia appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, bounding into me giving me a tight hug. Rebecca nodded in our direction and then retreated, presumably to her room. Olexander let out an audible sigh.

“I guess it’s time we are off then.” With that, he too wandered away. A few minutes later, I could feel the boat moving. Off we went into nothing but ocean.

Chapter 11

We had only been on the water for four hours, and I was already anxious. We were sailing all the way to Madrid, which would take about three days. Olexander was sure there were more Collectors there who could give us information. I understood this was the easiest and most discreet way of traveling with a group like ours, but I still missed the immediacy of air travel. The massive boat had five bedrooms. The room most secluded belonged to Rebecca for obvious reasons. Billy and Thomas were staying in one of the larger rooms with two queen beds. I assumed I would be staying with Julia, but instead she and Olexander lead me to a room just below the deck. It had a large white bed in the center and the walls were a rich mahogany. It was very peaceful.

“This was Lydia’s room. We thought you might want some privacy,” Olexander said.

I didn’t want Julia to feel like I was replacing her Aunt so quickly. Before I could decline, Julia hurried in awkwardly holding a giant vase of sunflowers.

“It was her idea.” Olexander said and gave me a wink.

“
I think it’s the most beautiful room I’ve ever had,” I said, “and I absolutely adore sunflowers.”

Olexander ushered Julia out, on the basis that I needed some time to get unpacked. However, as soon as he was gone, she crept back and knocked lightly on my door. Truth was I didn’t mind her hanging around. She came in and sat quietly on the bed watching me put my clothes into drawers. I realized her startling red hair and beautiful eyes distracted me from grasping just how tiny she was. She was petite, even shorter than I was. She reminded me of the woodland fairies I used to read about when I was little. I pictured her suddenly broken winged and lifeless, the size of a grasshopper laid out on a leaf. It made me more confident I had made the right decision. I didn’t want her to live her life in fear like I had. I knew things. I could see that dark scum everywhere clearly. I could still feel Jimmy’s murder weighing on my bones, even now so far away. You could only gain this ability by seeing how the darkness swallows everything up. I shook my head as if that would push the past right out of my thoughts. Perhaps we could change things. Perhaps she could grow up like Billy, never really knowing how dark the world could get. If I’d learned anything since I’d left behind my crappy job, and my loyal cat it was that nothing was set in stone. No fate was permanent, and there was an exception to every rule.

Billy knocked on my door and came in surprised to find I wasn’t alone. He eyed Julia as suspiciously as she eyed him. I formally introduced them but neither seemed very interested in the other. After standing awkwardly in my doorway for thirty seconds Billy decided to come back later when I was alone.

“Is Billy your boyfriend?” Julia asked with a tone of disapproval.

I didn’t think he was. I really had very little experience in this area, so I stuck with the simplest answer. “He and I were friends when we were little and so we are friends now.”

“He reminds me of someone. I don’t like him.” She said the words quietly more as if she was talking to herself than to me.

“Who?” I asked. She looked at me puzzled.

“Who does he remind you of?” I repeated.

“That’s just the thing” Julia said, “I don’t know.”

I decided not to push the issue any further tonight. Soon it was bedtime, at least for Julia anyway who yawned loudly and asked if I’d tuck her in. She didn’t even put up a fuss until Olexander came to her room to say goodnight and read her a story.

“Could Lily read to me tonight?” She said in a pleading tone, as if anyone else even dared read to her she would simply die. Olexander smiled and handed me the book,
To
Kill A Mockingbird
. I gave him an exasperated look. “Intense bedtime reading don’t you think?”

“It’s called an education. That book teaches her about life and the complexity of relationships and society.”

He suddenly stopped his explanation after seeing the look on my face, sighed heavily and kissed us both on the cheek before stepping out. Julia got comfortable holding onto a stuffed pink teddy bear but she looked anything but interested in social politics.

“Wait right here” I told her “I will be back in a flash.” I went to my room to the smaller duffel I had not yet unpacked and tossing its contents onto the bed found the old book I was looking for. Julia looked excited as I hopped onto the bed next to her and she read the title.

“Fairytales?” She said sadly. “I’m not supposed to read them. Lydia and Ollie say they teach archaic ideas about being rescued and promote unrealistic goals.”

“Well I’m the one reading the story tonight” I said “and tonight we read about all the things that matter most. All the things that make life worth living.”

She looked at me excitedly, waiting for me to start reading.

“Once Upon A Time” I began. We made it through three stories before she was in a deep sleep. In the end, she probably didn’t have a better grasp on our legal system, racism, or social complexity. However, she now knew that sometimes the most loyal friend you could have was a mouse. That sometimes people weren’t always who they seemed, even if their eyes were allegedly only bigger to see you with, and that everyone had the capacity to live happily ever after. It wasn’t in her lesson plan, and maybe it wasn’t all true, but it was important.

I walked back to my room and took a very long shower until the whole world felt slightly less overwhelming. I put on my comfy pajamas and crawled into bed with a book. I couldn’t concentrate and soon I was staring at the ceiling, listening to the sound of the water rocking us.
I yearned to escape into sleep, to be carried away from this sad and disappointing world into my dreams if only for a little while.  Dreams where evil was easily distinguished by horns or a black cape. Good never failed you. No one was ever lost along the way and everyone lived happily ever after.

The soft knocking on the door startled me. Billy peeked his head in cautiously.