The Singles (55 page)

I grab my phone from the nightstand and release a groan when I realize it’s dead. Since it’s useless, I throw it down on the bed. “The battery in that thing sucks.” If Wyatt’s been trying to get in touch with me, chances are Heidi has too. I rub my hand over my face in frustration. “Hey, you don’t happen to have Heidi’s number saved in your phone, do you?”

He shakes his head but pulls out his cell. He runs his finger up and down the screen, probably scrolling through his contacts. “Nope, but Cal does. He’s having drinks with Nate and Ben, but he’ll answer.” He presses a button and then tosses the phone to me. I reach up and catch it easily with my right hand. “Going to wash my face before we get going. Be right back,” he says, disappearing into the bathroom.

Just as Wyatt promised, Cal answers on the fourth ring. After he teases me about not knowing my best friend’s number, he promises to text it to me as soon as we hang up. A moment after I hit the End button, the message comes through. “Impressive, Cal,” I say, opening the text.

It takes me approximately five seconds to figure out that the string of messages I’m staring down at isn’t from Cal, and even though I jab the Home button quickly, the last three texts between Terra and Wyatt have dug their way into my head.

6:29 p.m.:
You don’t even want to know the room # in case you change your mind?

7:01 p.m.:
I won’t, so let’s not waste our time. I told you the other night that it was one time. Fucking drop it.

8:42 p.m.:
You know what? Go fuck yourself, Wyatt.

I hear the bathroom door ease open, and he’s talking about Your Toxic Sequel’s summer tour as he rounds the corner. My face must say it all because the moment he looks at me, his words fade away, and the color drains from his naturally tan face. Struggling to keep my breath steady, I stare into his eyes, and I repeat the question I asked him a couple nights ago, the question that I’m absolutely certain he answered with a flat-out lie.

“Did you screw Terra?”

H
e lowers his dark blue eyes to the phone that’s lying on the bed just as another text message comes through. I know that this time, it’s probably Cal getting back to me with Heidi’s number, but right now, that’s the furthest thing from my mind. Right now, I desperately need to know the truth from the man standing in front of me.

“Did you lie to me?” I ask, standing. I take a tentative step toward him and then another, feeling my heart race faster and faster with each movement. Once my bare toes hit the toe of Wyatt’s boot, I straighten my back. “Did you fuck Terra?”

Drawing his eyebrows together, he pinches his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger. I never let my gaze fall even though I want to. At last, he swallows hard, giving me a brisk nod. “Yeah, I did.”

I feel like something has collided into my chest, and I rub my hand back and forth over the center, hoping it will lessen the pain. It doesn’t. “And you’ve done it again since we came here? Since you and I have been together like this?”

Sucking in his upper lip, he shakes his head vigorously. “Absolutely not.”

“Then, why not just tell me when I asked? Why make it a big secret?” He’s had one-night stands before—and even though we weren’t a couple, all those times ripped out my heart—but this is the first time he’s lied to me. “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth when I asked?” I demand, my voice cracking.

“Because you said her name like—”

My nostrils flare, and I hold up my hand. “Like what? Like I wanted to choke her? Who gives a damn how I said her name? All I wanted was for you to tell me the truth, to be straight with me. I can handle everything else, Wyatt.” My shoulders begin to shake, and I drop my eyes to my bare feet. “When?” I ask.

“What?” he asks, his deep voice breaking.

“When did you do it?”

“Kylie, please.” He holds out his hands, wanting to touch me, but I shove them away. I ignore the dull pain in my ring finger as I wait for him to answer me. When I release a sob, he exhales. “Why would you want to put yourself through that? Why does it even matter now?”

Of course, he doesn’t understand. Maybe he never will. I take a few steps backward. “Because. You. Lied.”

He drags his hand over his face, releasing a strangled noise from the back of his throat. “The end of last year.”

I press myself against the wall for support. “Let me guess, it was a couple of weeks after Thanksgiving, huh?” His expression is blank, and I immediately realize that I’ve called it accurately. Clenching my teeth, I shake my head to each side. “You are so
goddamn
unbelievable, Wyatt.”

His face flushes as he takes a step toward me. “You push me away at every turn. You told me you wanted to see other people. What the—”

“You’re right,” I say, nodding my head. “You’re absolutely right. But if you still want to know why I stopped calling you after Thanksgiving...there, you’ve got your answer. I thought...” I pause and take a deep breath. “I guess you were too busy fucking Terra when I needed you.”

This time, when he reaches out to touch me, he succeeds. He draws me to his chest, not seeming to care about the pain it might cause the area where he got the bluebird tattoo last night. “What were you going to say, Ky? You thought what?” he demands.

Since we’re laying it all out on the table tonight, I glare up at him. “I thought I was pregnant. I thought that I was going to have a kid with someone who can’t even say he loves me, and I panicked.”

His grip tightens on the small of my back. “You’re not, are you?” The tone of his voice is low and dangerous, and I know he’s thinking about all the partying we’ve done over the past few days. “Are you?” he says more urgently.

I shake my head. “Do you really think I’m that stupid and selfish?” I ask. I close my eyes, squeezing them so tight that the tears have no other choice but to stay put. He releases a long exhale, but when I speak a moment later, he loses his breath once more. “Wyatt...I really can’t do this anymore.”

He clenches his jaw. “Yes, you can. I fucked up. I know that I did, but that doesn’t mean we can’t fix ourselves.” When he touches his forehead against mine, I pull away from him, pressing my back to the wall again.

“I’ve done exactly what I told you I’d do. I came here with you. I let you remind me of our past, the good and the bad. But, Wyatt, I just
can’t
anymore.” Each word takes an excruciating amount of effort, and I know that if we don’t end this soon, I’m going to be sick to my stomach.

“We can fix this, Ky,” he says.

I shake my head again, wiping tears from my cheeks. “We’ve been doing this for so long,” I whisper. “After Brenna and my ex and so much bullshit, it’s amazing we didn’t already give up on each other years ago. Don’t you see it? If we haven’t fixed ourselves by now, how the hell do you think we ever can?”

“I refuse to believe that.” He’s breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling against mine. “I love you, Kylie.”

The sob that I’ve been so successfully holding back finally makes its way past my throat, and I gasp. I lower my head, shaking it slowly, as my shoulders tremble. He’s dealt me the most painful blow of all, and surely, he must know that because he backs away from me slowly. When I manage to lift my gaze, the agony in his blue eyes matches the sting spreading across my chest, consuming me.

“
Fuck
... I mean, you had to have known that already,” he says hoarsely.

I press my hand to my chest for a moment, pushing hard as if it will stop my heart from pounding so rapidly, as if doing so will keep me from crumbling apart. Once I’ve managed to control my tears, I say, “I have waited so goddamn long to hear you say that, and now that I have...it just hurts.” It hurts because of all times to tell me that he loves me, he picks the one moment when losing me is a certainty. 

Closing his eyes, he fists his strong hands. “That’s not my intention.”

“If you say so, Wyatt,” I say in a detached voice. Rubbing the heel of my palm over my eyes to wipe away the remaining dampness from my face, I take a deep breath. “Your show starts soon.”

“It can wait.”

I think back to the day I asked him if he planned on leaving Your Toxic Sequel, and my vision blurs. “Did you lie about that, too? About quitting YTS?” His lowered blue eyes and silence is all the answer I need. “God, Wyatt...”

“I’m not,” he argues. He eases down onto the edge of the bed, darting his blue eyes over to where I’m still standing, clutching the wall. “Things were going shitty, okay? Lucas is a dick, and Sinjin’s always fucked-up. Cal and I were both thinking about bailing last year, but we changed our minds, okay? When Hazard Anthem called us about doing these shows, I figured we owed them one for leaving them high and dry.”

I fold my arms over my chest, giving him a tight smile. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me. I get it. It’s business.” I’m not going to argue with him anymore. There’s no point because I already know that I’ll have to leave.

“Will you be here when I get back tonight?”

His eyes are pleading, and I have difficulty speaking past the pain in the back of my throat.

“You already know that I won’t.”

“God, Kylie. Don’t do this,” he begs. “I’m sorry.”

“Have a good show, Wyatt,” I say softly, turning away from him.

I feel like weights are tied to my shoulders as I walk into the bathroom. I close the door behind me, lean my head against it, and start counting as I wait for him to leave. I hear the door to our room slam shut when I reach 150, and I press my fist to my mouth as sobs shake my entire body.

***

I
’m packing and crying when Heidi shows up at my door an hour later. Her grin quickly fades as soon as I open the door. She doesn’t ask questions. She doesn’t try to give me advice. She simply yanks me to her, wrapping her thin arms around me.

“Is that ride back home still on the table?” I whisper.

She nods against my shoulder. “For you, babe, anything.”

I
’m back in L.A. before the sun even rises the next morning, and I spend the rest of my weekend alone, leaving my apartment only once to go to the market around the corner. It’s not as if I’m in a catatonic state because I’m a seasoned pro at dealing with this type of bullshit, but the last thing I want is to bring someone else’s mood down with my moping around.

Later that night, I make plans with Heidi to take me to the DMV office first thing tomorrow morning.

***

W
hen my doorbell rings at seven thirty in the morning on the dot, I’m already dressed. After brushing the tangles out of my black-and-blue hair, I fling open the door, and I’m shocked when I see my brother standing on the other side, holding a box from my favorite bakery.

“I didn’t realize you knew where I lived,” I greet him sarcastically, ignoring the way my stomach growls as I step backward to let him inside.

Ducking his head because he’s so damn tall, he comes through the doorway and makes a face at me. “Don’t look so fucking happy to see me next time.” He follows me into my den. “Brought you your favorite,” he says as he slams down into the chair at my computer desk, setting the box beside my laptop.

“Heidi’s taking me to the DMV to get a new license in a little bit, so can you make this quick?”

He grabs my phone from the desk and then rolls the chair forward until he stops right in front of me. “Call her and cancel.”

I take the phone, but instead of making the call, I cross my arms over my chest. “Lucas, I take my job very,
very
seriously, but it’s impossible for me to drive your ass around if I don’t have a license.”

“Cute,” he says, dragging his lips up into a strained smile. “But I’m here to take you to the DMV myself.”

I’m momentarily stunned. Being up so early is typical for my brother—he works out for a couple hours every morning—but for some reason, he’s taken it upon himself to visit me. And now, he’s offering to help me complete a tedious task that I don’t even want to do myself. Cocking my head to the side, I pull my eyebrows together. “Dude, you’re scaring the shit out of me. Is everything alright?”

His smile suddenly becomes more forced, and he leans forward, supporting his arms on his thighs. “Abso-fucking-lutely not, Kylie. I’ve made a mess of things.”

Taking the bakery box off the desk, I go to the other side of the small room and sit down on my couch. Half a dozen glazed doughnuts are in the box, and I sigh, inhaling their sweet scent. I eat two before I ask him about Sienna. “Have you talked to her?”

He squeezes his hazel eyes closed and shakes his head, dragging one of his hands through his shaggy dark hair. “You know better than I do that she’s already changed her number.”

I nod my head in acknowledgment and swallow hard, nearly choking on a piece of my doughnut. “Did you try to call her before she changed her number?”

“No. What the fuck would I say?”

“Sorry is a good start.”

He snorts. “Sorry doesn’t even begin to cover what I did to her, Kylie.” Sitting upright, he checks his watch before giving me a pointed look. “DMV opens in twenty minutes. Let’s not bullshit, so we don’t have to stick around there all day.”

“I didn’t ask you to take me,” I say in a heated voice as I pull up Heidi’s number on my iPhone.

She answers drowsily on the third ring. “Ah, shit.” She yawns, and I hear her roll over in her bed. “I worked late and forgot to set my alarm.”

“It’s okay! Lucas is here to take me to get my new license, but I’ll stop by your place tonight or something.”

My best friend is quiet for several seconds, and I imagine she’s just as stunned as I am about my brother showing up at my apartment. “Um, okay. Let me know how that one goes.”

I glimpse over at Lucas as he’s rubbing the pads of his thumbs against his temples in frustration. “It should be interesting.” After I promise Heidi that I’ll call her the moment I’m done taking care of my personal business today, I end the call.

Lucas stands up, taking his car key out of his pocket. “You done?” His voice is sardonic.