The Skilled Seduction (33 page)

His gaze remained fixed upon the grounds.

“Look at me please,” she pleaded. “Look at me, just for a moment.”

He complied, the anguish reflected in his eyes causing her sway like a tulip stem bearing the brunt of a strong breeze.

Sebastian didn’t appear to have noticed.

“I care for Colin, but you mean everything to me, Sebastian,” her hands clutched his arms, gripping the fine fabric of his jacket in an attempt to reach him. “You are and always have been the most important person in my life. You – not
Colin, not Papa, not even Mama, God rest her soul. I will be grateful until the day I die that you raised me. That my kind, thoughtful, brilliant brother loved me enough to sacrifice his own amusements for my well-being.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, expelling a deep breath. Apparently, Sebastian couldn’t stand the sight of her. But it mattered not. She wouldn’t depart until he had heard the complete truth.

“Throughout my life, the one constant has been you. Even before Mama’s death, it was you who made me feel loved and safe. It has always been you,” she blinked back tears, fearful that nothing she said would assuage him but filled with an overwhelming urge to explain.

“When I was a little girl, before Papa’s death, I used to pretend that you were my father,” she admitted.
 

No one ever knew.
 

It had been her secret for so long, until this day, because Sebastian deserved to know.
 

“Every night, before I fell asleep, I would envision that one day I would learn that you were my papa.” She brushed a stray lock of Sebastian’s onyx mane from his eye. “You are now and always have been irreplaceable to me. The last thing I wanted to do is shame you or give you reason to think less of me.”

Sebastian stood motionless, his eyes affixed on the gardens outside. It was a bright day, however, in stark contrast to the clear autumn sky, her heart lay bare and bruised. Like the spindly branches of decaying leaves that remained on the autumn trees, it seemed to die a little more with each moment of silence that separated Victoria and her eldest brother.

“How could I hurt you by admitting that the younger sister for whom you sacrificed so much did something so unspeakable?”

She studied her brother, aware that tears were making a slow descent down his cheeks. He remained silent, though, and that spoke volumes.
 

Victoria had lost him forever.

It was her own fault.

“I failed you,” she whispered, gently wiping his cheek with the pads of her fingertips. “I will always regret that.”

Victoria stood on her tiptoes and kissed her brother’s damp cheek. “I am blessed to have you as my brother, Sebastian. Thank you for being so kind to me. I don’t deserve you.”

Blinking back tears, Tori grabbed her reticule from his desk and hurried towards the door.

“I blame myself,” Sebastian said, his jagged voice brimming with remorse.

Victoria paused, her hand resting on the cool gilded doorknob. “My actions, my lack of self-restraint, are my sole responsibility. Not yours,” she assured him.

“I should have predicted this,” he released a ragged sigh. “I invited that predator into my home, welcomed him into our family and allowed him uncensored access to you.”

Her brother blamed her husband, just as Tristan suspected he would. That was the reason why Tristan had offered Victoria a way to salvage her relationship with her eldest brother by blaming him for all that transpired.

Blame me.
Two words, whispered to her as she was alighting the carriage steps this morning.
Blame me.

Tristan recognized, like she did, that Sebastian wanted to blame him and offered himself as a way for Victoria to escape from her own culpability, willing to sacrifice his own relationship with his twin sister in the process.
 

As much as she wanted to hide behind the protection Tristan offered her, Victoria refused to be so spineless.

No, she would admit the truth to her brother.

“Tristan and I share the blame equally, Sebastian,” she admitted, turning so she could gauge her brother’s reaction.

It was obvious from his scowl that he remained unconvinced.

“I pursued him. Having loved him for so long, I concocted a scheme to make him see me as an adult and I succeeded, at the expense of my own reputation.”

His profile betrayed his anguish. “Why, Tori?”

Victoria leaned against the door for support. “In spite of the fact that Tristan never led me to believe he loved me, I thought he did, or at least that he could if he allowed himself.”

“It all makes sense now,” Sebastian shook his head. “Why you never showed any interest in encouraging suitors. But you never showed any inclination that your feelings for Tristan surpassed friendship and I never suspected. I actually believed you would marry the Earl of Fairfax. How ridiculous I was, to think I knew you.”

She flinched, his words slicing her heart like a dagger. “I am sorry, Sebastian.”

What else could she say? She had destroyed their tight-knit family with her selfishness, her blind devotion and reckless abandon. Victoria didn’t deserve her brother’s love.

“It was his idea that you elope?” Sebastian asked. There was a hint of malice in his question, an underlying threat that chilled Tori to the core.

“Yes.”

That one word, a hushed whisper, seemed to inflame Sebastian’s deep seated rage for his brother-in-law. “That bastard.”

Victoria knew that her brother suspected that she hadn’t much of a choice in the matter. She also understood that the knowledge was torturing him.

“I chose to elope with Tristan,” she lied in an attempt to ease her brother’s distress. What harm could possibly come from such a fabrication, she wondered? “He offered me a viable solution to the chaos that we both created, one I accepted. At the time, I considered it the most prudent course of action. You and your family had been disgraced enough.”

“But you
are
my family,” Sebastian’s tone was rough with emotion as he turned, his eyes fixed on hers. His was such a simple statement, yet one that filled her heart with an overwhelming sense of shame.

He studied her for several long seconds that seemed like an eternity before adding, “You make it sound as if you are obligated to be his wife, bound by some sense of duty.”

“I am no longer a foolish romantic. I grew up at last.” She understood the consequences of her actions. Marrying Tristan did save Sebastian, Gwen and their children from further disgrace.

 
“Your romanticism has always been one of the many qualities that I admired about you,” Sebastian said simply, as if seeing her for the very first time and disapproving of the woman she’d become.

His disappointment was too much to abide.

“I am sincerely sorry, Sebastian,” she swung the door open, desperate to put her brother out of his misery, aware of the pain she continued to inflict upon him with her very presence.

He crossed the room quickly, his strides swift as he grabbed Victoria’s arm, turning her to face him before embracing her in a tight hug. “Don’t go. Please, don’t leave.”

“I failed you,” she said, her muscles tensing as she attempted to control the torrent of emotions that was threatening to overtake her.

Sebastian squeezed her tighter, as if fearful that she would slip away. “You haven’t now nor will you ever fail me. I love you. I am concerned for you.”

“This is my fault,” she admitted. “I set these events in motion.”

“Shush,” he smoothed her hair in a paternal gesture. “There is an insurmountable amount of blame to assign. I should have recognized how you felt about him, I should have predicted this. I should have protected you.”

“Please forgive me, Sebastian,” she pleaded.

He removed his handkerchief from his vest pocket, dabbing her eyes with the crisp linen. “I forgive you. How could I not?”

“I was so afraid that I had lost you,” she whispered. “I don’t blame you for despising me.”

“Yes, I was angry and concerned but you are like a daughter to me, as much my child as Nicholas and Emma. I will never renounce you, not for any reason.” His tone brooked no argument.

An intense relief flooded Tori as her shoulders wracked with sobs. “I thought – I thought that you would never forgive me.”

He embraced her in a solid cocoon of protection. “I won’t now nor will I ever forsake you, Tori. Nothing you do or say will ever change my mind. You will always have a home with me. Promise me that you will never forget that.”

She nodded.

“Promise me,” he said, his tone dire as he tipped her chin up to face him. “You must promise me that you will come to me, whenever you need me.”

“I promise.” Victoria studied her brother, discerning a hidden meaning, one he was attempting to disguise behind an encouraging grin.

A deep seated apprehension took root, wrapping around her heart like a vise grip. There was an underlying factor, one she knew nothing about.

Her chest constricted with dread.

Sebastian motioned toward the sofa, “Sit while I ring for tea,” he said, his voice clear and calm. “You and I have much to discuss.”

Chapter 15

Though life wasn’t yet back to normal, it was as close to it as humanly possible. Granted, Sebastian hadn’t spoken to Tristan since their fisticuffs, but the duke was hosting a wedding ball for the happy couple as a public show of support for his sister. If anyone fully understood the art of minimizing scandal, it was Sebastian and it was his intent to show that both Victoria and Tristan had the full support of the Duke and Duchess of Davenport behind their union.

Victoria grabbed another gown from her wardrobe then tossed it upon her bed in disgust. “Why can’t I find the right dress?” she asked her maid, exasperated.

Victoria decided to prepare in her old suite at her brother’s estate since most of her trunks hadn’t yet been delivered to Tristan’s nearby manor. She secretly wondered if Sebastian was delaying the delivery of the rest of her items in the hopes that she would change her mind and remain under his roof. It was all she could do to get him to relinquish Molly to her.

“Ugh,” she grabbed yet another garment, this one a modest pale blue gown, from the back of her wardrobe. “Please tell me that I have never worn such a dowdy frock.”

“If you tell me what you’re looking for, my Lady, I’d be happy to assist you,” Meg said, taking a step back as if expecting her mistress to toss a frilly frock in her direction.

Victoria hurled more garments onto the bed. “Something I apparently don’t own. This is my wedding celebration, after all. I want to look gorgeous, modestly seductive even. Propriety be damned, I want everyone in attendance to know that my husband is lusting after me. Is that too much to ask?”

“Trouble in paradise?” Eve asked from the doorway.

“Oh, Miss MacAlistair,” Meg practically shouted from the far side of the room. “Isn’t this a lovely surprise? I’ll give you both a chance to chat.”

Tori watched her maid dart out of the room, shutting the door with an audible sigh of relief. “Do you think I frightened her?” she asked her sister-in-law.

“Goodness, Victoria, you startled me and I am related to you by marriage.” Eve tossed her reticule onto the colorful pile of fabrics on the bed then stepped over some more gowns as she made her way to Victoria.

Tori gave her friend a hug.

“Shouldn’t you be happy?” Eve asked, squeezing her shoulders. “Your elaborate scheme proceeded according to plan and you have married the man you’ve adored for ages, a man who did such a good job of concealing your elopement that no one in the
ton
knows of it. At least a hundred members of polite society will be in attendance to celebrate your unconventional union. You are pulling one over on each of those gossip mongering hypocrites.”

Victoria smiled before crossing the room, taking a swig of the champagne that she’d poured earlier. It was a little warm and slightly flat, but it was working nonetheless to soothe her frayed nerves. So she took another sip before downing the rest of her glass.

“Careful,” Eve warned as she reached for Victoria’s now empty flute. “Let’s save some celebrating for later.”

“I have nothing to wear,” Tori surveyed the pile of gowns strewn about her bedchamber.

Eve pointed to the mess. “I dare say you have too many options.”

“Not for my intentions,” Victoria slumped onto her window seat. “I want my husband to desire me in front of each and every gossip mongering hypocrite downstairs and I fear that none of these gowns will garner such an effect. Since everything happened so quickly, I’ve had no time for you to design one for me.”

She referred to Sebastian’s attempt at surprising the
ton
with news of Tristan and Victoria’s nuptials. It would be an opulent affair, as Sebastian’s parties always were, hastily organized or not. But still, Victoria’s insecurities about what she would wear and how she would be received increased tenfold.

“Lady Victoria MacAlistair that is utterly preposterous. You have one of the most spectacular wardrobes I’ve ever seen! Granted, I designed most of them for you,” Eve added with a wink, sitting beside her friend. “As for your husband desiring you, need I remind you that Tristan married you?”