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Authors: Ira Tabankin

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BOOK: The Smiths and Joneses
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Sean asks, “Sharon, shouldn’t the decision to have children be made between husband and wife and not the government? Should the government have any say in your bedroom? I don’t want the government in my bedroom.”

“Sean, the government has to make the decision. They’re the only ones who can make it. They’re the only ones who know the level of resources available or the projections for the future. They’re the only ones who know the desired population levels. If we based the decision on your logic, gay or lesbian couples couldn’t have children, and others who can’t afford to provide for their children could have five or even ten children putting a strain on the community that would have to help support them. The poor children in families who can’t afford them would have a negative impact on their ability to enter the world. They will require more resources. It isn’t fair to the rest of us. Our tax dollars would be going to pay for education of children not ours. Everyone pays the same percentage of property taxes that go to cover education costs; if families were allowed to have as many children as possible, the amount of tax dollars available to the schools would be the same which would lower the quality of the education our children receive. How can life be fair if some can have as many children as they want? This doesn’t allow every child to be equal. It will harm the LSA in the future. Just so a couple can have an extra child or have unprotected sex? That is crazy.

“On the most basic of all levels, if there was no limit on the number of children, how would they be able to eat if the family can’t support the number of mouths to feed? Will some go hungry? Will the government have to decide who gets fed and who doesn’t? Will my tax dollars go to feed your children, reducing the total amount of dollars available for the truly needy? If our neighbors have five or six children, they will use up the resources planned for my children’s children. Is that fair? Since everyone pays the same amount of real estate tax for education, if our neighbors have twice the number of children we do, why should we be paying for their education versus our taxes going towards improving our children’s education?”

Sean follows up “What about if their religion doesn’t allow birth control?”

Sharon smiles, and says, “Which is why we as a nation are working hard to show people religion isn’t the answer. Religion makes people violent. Religion forces dietary rules on people. Some people may be allergic to the very foods demanded by a religion. Religion doesn’t make people equal, it makes people unequal. It puts some above and some below others; it creates different classes of people, and something we learned the hard way, doesn’t lead to peace. Too many wars have been fought over religion. We in the LSA are learning the mistakes of history. Our children spend a lot of time in school learning the lessons from history so they don’t make the same mistakes again. Religion doesn’t teach that we are equals. It teaches some are above others. Some are angels, some demons. Some people will go to heaven and some to hell. Some religions don’t have a heaven or hell. Religions break up friendships and marriages. No, that isn’t the right answer in the twenty-first century. We in the LSA are all equal. We’re working hard to have a single class of people, no upper, no lower. We’re working hard to have a single middle or new class of people that all have basically the same.”

Sean asks, “Sharon, is equality that important?”

“What a silly question. Of course, it is. Equality is the core of everything. Aren’t we all equal? Aren’t we all entitled to the same good life, aren’t we all entitled to an education, aren’t we all entitled to go to bed well fed? Aren’t we all entitled to have the same as everyone else? When some have more, others see the inequality and take it into their own hands to level the field. Crime goes up; people could get hurt. We’re all equal; the answer to almost any question is equality.”

Sean questions, “Sharon, what about artists? Not everyone can be an artist, not everyone can be an actor, or a doctor; aren’t some people born with special talents that others aren’t?”

“That’s one of the reasons our programs are designed for equality - anyone can try; the government supports many so they can polish their skills in hope their art meets the government’s standards. Some practice all of their lives, some hit a home run on the first pitch.”

“Sharon, the government sets standards for art?” Sean asks, in amazement.

“Of course. Can you imagine what would pass for art if it didn’t? Some people could paint pictures of porn; some pictures could be disgusting. Can you imagine if there were no standards? There would be no decency. Can you imagine the type of television programs our children would be exposed to? The national net would be filled with porn and filth. We should all be very thankful for the government in their wisdom for setting art, broadcast and internet standards of decency.” 

Wolf says, “Sharon, I assume these decency standards are published, so people don’t run afoul of the law?”

“Of course. They are published at the courthouse and are broadcast every evening. All of the sites on our national web have a standards page.”

Before Sharon can continue, the television beeps, a picture opens on the upper right-hand side of the screen, a face appears. Jason says, “Please wait, as you can see, our security system is showing someone is at the front door. It’s automatic; every house has a built in security system that automatically turns on when anyone approaches one of our homes. In this case, it’s the package delivery service. Please give us a moment to sign for the package.”

Jason opens the door; a man in an LSA government package delivery service uniform is standing at the front door, “Mr. Jason Smith?”

“Yes.”

“ID please,”

Jason shows the deliveryman his government issued photo ID, which is scanned into the handheld computer.

“Right thumb.”

Jason presses his right thumb against the delivery man’s computer display where it’s scanned and matched with the prints on file with the central government. The delivery driver looks at the display of his portable computer saying, “Checks, here’s your package from Amazon, it’s been opened, checked and resealed by the censors from DepLIES (Department of LSA Internal and External Security). Enjoy. Have a wonderful day.”

“Am I to understand every shipped package is checked by the government before it’s delivered?” Sean asks.

Sharon smiles saying, “Of course, what if someone was trying to send a bomb or anthrax as a package? Before the government started checking packages a friend of my grandmother told me a story about someone who sent packages of manure to people he didn’t like, can you imagine getting a box of poop?

“The government is protecting us from someone using an Amazon box to poison or attack us. DepLIES is protecting us from inside or outside attack. Since they started this program, we haven’t had any package bombs which is all the proof I need to know the program is working.”

Sean continues, “Sharon, were there many instances of bombs being sent before the censoring law went into effect?”

“I really don’t know, there must have been, right? The package delivery service has been merged with the DepLIES, so every package is checked and inspected before delivery. It only adds a very small extra shipping cost, the delay is usually no more than three days, if you ask me it’s a very small price to pay for our security.”

Sean follows up, “Sharon, is it normal to have your ID checked before the package is delivered?”

“Of course. How else can the shipper know it was delivered to the right person and not just the address?”

“If you weren’t home would they have left the package by the front door?”

“Never! A package left behind is an invitation for theft. It would have been our fault if the package were stolen. We allowed it to be left in plain sight. We’d be guilty of inviting the theft of the package. We’d be fined for the theft, plus we’d be out the cost of whatever we ordered.”

“Wouldn’t the person who took the package be at fault for stealing it?”

“Sean, honestly, how could they be guilty if we tempted them by leaving the package for all to see? We might as well have a neon sign saying free packages over here.”

“But you didn’t make them steal the package.”

“Yes we did, we tempted them. We put temptation right under their nose. Who could have refused the temptation?  Could they have taken a package that wasn’t there? Of course not. Hence, we’d be guilty of having left it in plain sight. If we didn’t sign for it, then the shipper has no proof we received the package. We could claim we never got it, causing the shipper to either refund our money or send us another without us having to pay for it. We could claim we never got the first, we would have gotten the second for nothing, which we could sell at a low price, under the cost of the normal seller, causing them unfair competition and costing them profit, and the government lost taxes. We’d be liable for the losses because we stole it and sold it low. We cost money to everyone in the chain. But most of all we cost ourselves money because we cheated the government out of their due taxes. The government would have to increase taxes on everyone to make up the differences. Hence, we stole something, sold it for pure profit, which ended up costing everyone more to pay more taxes.  See how our system protects everyone?”

Sean responds, “Yes, I think I understand and I think our viewers will too. Sharon, do you have any concerns with the government knowing everything that you have delivered?”

“Sean, why would that even concern anyone? The central government knows what we earn, from whom and when; they know our medical history and level of our present health care. They know what national net addresses we’ve visited, what forums we’re a member of. Of course, they know what we order online, isn’t it their job to protect us from unfair sellers? Isn’t it their job to protect us from buying products that might be unhealthy or unsafe? Of course, they know what we purchase. They know what we purchase every week at the food stores. They have access to all of our charge and debit records. Why would I care if they know what we’ve purchased and had shipped to us? It’s not like we have anything to hide. We know the USA government listens into your portable calls and reads your emails, is it any different? I’m sure you know that our national security agency, the LSA DepLIES has cameras everywhere, they also have cameras pointing into our homes.”

“Whoa, Sharon, are you saying, that while we’re recording you, the central government of the LSA is recording us?”

“Of course! What would happen if I were the only one home, and I fall breaking my leg and I couldn’t get to the phone? How would I get help? I don’t have to. All I need to do is yell, HELP. And help will arrive. Or someone could break in without anyone being home. The government cameras will see them giving them evidence to arrest them.”

No one realized Sharon’s little demonstration worked better than anyone in the broadcast team suspected. Within minutes police sirens are heard screaming, coming towards the Smith house. Sean and Wolf look out of the front door as four police cars come to a stop at the front of the Smith’s house. Four officers, covered head to toe in black armor, looking almost like robots, with a K9 police dog, come running towards the house. Two are holding a strange looking stick.

Wolf stands with his hands over his head; palms open facing the police officers. He says, “Officers, it was a mistake, I’m sorry. We’re filming a special show and our hostess was showing us how the home security system functioned.”

“Sir, we have to check the house out. We received a valid request for help. Per standing policy, you all have to leave the home while we check the house. Will everyone please exit the house with your hands up, palms open towards us? Our dog is going to give each of you a good sniffing to ensure none of you are carrying explosives. Two officers waiting outside are waiting for you. Follow the officers’ instructions. They will check you for any weapons; they will also check your IDs. Do not interfere with them, respond with yes or no to their questions. You are going to be separated so your answers can be checked against each other. All cameras and any device that can record audio or video will be turned off and placed into the evidence box. Your devices will be checked, and if clean, they will be returned to you.  No one can leave the area without permission. If you attempt to leave the immediate area, we will assume you are guilty and treat as such. Is there anything I’ve said that you don’t understand? Do all of you speak English, nod yes or no, shall I repeat my instructions in Espanola?”

Sean tells the ranking officer, “Officer, I don’t think you understand, we were filming a program when our host demonstrated the alarm system…”

Sean is slammed against one of the LSA national police cars, the K9 dog jumps up placing both of his front paws against Sean’s back. “Sir, you are in violation of LSA National Police policy 12-159-864-Back Fox-2A, which means, you approached us and came within one meter, which is defined under LSA National law as our personal space, without our express permission. I advise you not to move, or our dog will think you’re being hostile to us.”

“I definitely won’t move.”

“Sir, do you have your government issued photo ID on you?”

“Around my neck.”

“Don’t move, we’ll check it.”

The first officer reaches around Sean to grab his ID, running it through their computer, the officer says, “Sir, your VIP visitor ID states you’re a visitor from the USA on a special assignment with the approval of the LSA executive board and our President.”

BOOK: The Smiths and Joneses
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