The Snowball Effect (22 page)

“We should get some dinner,” Vallery said, catching up with us as we walked away from the register.

I looked at my watch. “Yeah, I guess so. Hey, I got you something.”

Vallery stepped back when I came at her with the button. “No way am I wearing that. You are not punching holes in this shirt.”

“Vallery, come on. Are you seriously going to be uptight on
vacation
?”

“Yes.”

Collin pointed to his button. “I got one,” he said. “Lainey's got one.”

Collin and I both stared at her until she finally took the button from me and pinned it to the belt loop on her jean shorts.

When we got outside, Collin ran straight for a cactus statue, so Vallery and I sat in the grass and watched him climb on it. After a while a family with about ten kids came up. The mom had her camera ready. The kids stared
at Collin. The family turned and gave us dirty looks, but Collin didn't get down, and we didn't make him. Finally the mom hustled the kids over to another statue. After they were gone, Collin hopped down and ran over to us, waving his sombrero.

“I'm hungry,” he said. So we walked to the closest restaurant, where they shockingly didn't even sell tacos, which was good because now tacos made me think of stupid Gina. We ate hot dogs and Collin wanted seconds, so Vallery got back in line to get him another hot dog and an ice cream cone for herself. Then we went back outside and walked around. The night was still hot but had gotten bearable since the sun went down. Collin ran ahead of us, cramming his hot dog into his mouth with one hand and holding on to his sombrero with the other. I smiled. Maybe running away hadn't been such a bad idea. For the first time ever, I seemed to be having a nice evening with my sister and my brother simultaneously.

And then Vallery grabbed my arm. “Back to the car,” she whispered in my ear.

“What's wrong?” She spun around and changed directions and headed back for the parking lot. I ran and grabbed Collin's hand. His sombrero fell off. I picked it up and we hurried after Vallery.

She looked over her shoulder. “You drive so I can eat my ice cream.” She tossed me the keys.

“No food in the car,” I reminded her.

“Oh, shut up.”

I buckled Collin in and then started the car. I turned back onto the highway. I kept glancing over at Vallery so she'd know I was waiting for her to explain herself, but she sat there with her ice cream and didn't look at me.

“What was the big deal back there?” I finally asked.

“I thought I saw someone I used to know.”

“Do you always run from people you know?”

I didn't look over at her, but I could feel her glaring at me. “Only when I don't want to talk to them.”

“Who'd you see?”

“This girl I went to college with. I guess it probably wasn't even her, though. I mean, what are the odds? This friggin' ice cream is melting so fast. Why is it still so hot?”

“We're in the south. Do you realize you are
crazy
paranoid?”

I glanced over at Vallery. The ice cream had melted onto her hands. She couldn't lick it because the wind whipped her hair into her face, and she couldn't touch her hair with her sticky hands.

“Lainey, I think we need to pull over.”

“All right.”

“This is running down my arm. Gross.”

Collin started humming.

The dish detergent commercial. I groaned.

“Enjoy your feast—then cut the grease! CUT THE GREASE!”

“Please, Collin. Not now,” I said.

I put the blinker on and checked the mirror. Then I
thought about the chocolate-bar incident. This was karma in action. I shouldn't make it easy for Vallery. I flew past the next exit.

“CUT THE GREASE!” Collin yelled.

“Collin, please.”

Vallery smacked my arm. “What are you doing?”

“I'm going to the next rest stop. I don't want to pull off just anywhere. We don't know what kind of neighborhoods are around here.”

“Fine. Good point.”

Vallery was quiet until we passed a sign that said the next rest area was seventeen miles away.

“This ice cream is going to be all over the car by the time we get there!” she screamed. “Pull over!”

I got off at the next exit and turned into the first McDonald's. “If you'd let me put the roof up, you would have been able to eat your ice cream instead of wearing it,” I said. “And if you weren't so friggin' paranoid, we could have walked around South of the Border like a bunch of normal people.”

Vallery turned and glared at me. Her hair stuck to her face in a very unattractive way. Mine probably didn't look much better, but at least I wasn't covered in ice cream. “Come open the door for me,” she said.

I laughed at how helpless she'd become.

“Come on!” she yelled.

I got out of the car and went around to the passenger's side. Vallery held the ice cream up and away from the car.
I opened her door. As she stepped out, she reached out and smeared ice cream on my cheek.

My mouth dropped open. Vallery grinned her stupid wicked grin.

I'd had about enough of Vallery. I grabbed the ice cream out of her hand and smashed it into her forehead. The cone fell to the ground, and ice cream rolled down her face. She wiped it out of her eyes. I laughed. And then before I knew what had happened, she'd knocked me over into the grass.

Vallery pinned me to the ground and wiped the ice cream off of her face and into my hair. Sticks and leaves poked into my back and legs. I reached up and stuck my finger in her ear. She grabbed my arm and bit me—bit me!—and pinned my other arm to the ground with her knee. I hit her in the shoulder with my free hand and then stuck my finger up her nose.

“Gross!” she screamed. “You are
gross
!”

I pushed her off me and rolled on top of her. “Truce?” I yelled.

“Fine, fine, truce!”

I rolled off her and quickly realized that we had an audience. One of the workers from the McDonald's stood by the entrance, fanning herself with her visor. A man and woman in a pickup had stopped just past the drive-thru to stare at us. A man climbed out of his tractor-trailer and walked across the parking lot toward us. He had a big grin on his face.

“Oh Jesus,” I muttered as I helped Vallery up. “Look what you did.”

Vallery brushed twigs off her legs. “We can't get into the car like this,” she said. “No friggin' way.”

“We have to,” I said. “These people are freaking me out.” The pickup drove off, but the McDonald's worker and the tractor-trailer guy were still staring at us from across the parking lot. “Let's at least act like we're leaving, and maybe they'll go away.”

“Fine.”

Vallery walked toward the driver's side of the Mustang, and I walked to the passenger side. We noticed the empty backseat at the same time.

Vallery turned toward the trees. “Collin!”

I bent down and looked on the floor to make sure he wasn't just hiding from us. I thought about the pickup and wondered if they'd snatched him. I couldn't remember what kind of truck it had been, or even the color. I didn't know what the people had looked like.

And then Vallery ran across the parking lot toward the McDonald's. I looked over and saw Collin walking up to her with his arms full of paper towels. Vallery picked him up and carried him back to the car, holding him to her chest.

“What is wrong with you?” I yelled at Collin. “Don't ever get out of the car unless we tell you to!”

He stared at me as Vallery let him down. He held out the paper towels. “You were sticky,” he said.

I sighed.

“At least he's being sweet,” Vallery hissed at me. “Say thank you.”

“I'm not thanking him for almost getting kidnapped.”

Vallery rolled her eyes at me and took the paper towels. We wiped the ice cream and dirt off of us as best we could and then laid the rest of the paper towels on the seats.

“I can't wait to take a shower,” I said. “We're stopping at the very next motel we see. I don't care how shady it looks.”

“We're not stopping now,” Vallery said. “Orlando or bust.”

“Orlando or
bust
? Are you kidding me? We're covered in ice cream.”

“We only have two states to go.”

“We have like eight hours to go!”

“Come on, it's not that late. We'll get to Orlando before morning, take a shower, sleep for a while, then go see Mickey Mouse.”

I rolled my eyes. “At least stop at the next rest area so we can change our clothes.”

“Fine.”

 

We changed our clothes at the next rest stop. I tried to stay awake while Vallery drove, but eventually I leaned the seat back and fell asleep. Vallery woke me up a few hours later.

“Are we there?” I asked. Then I looked around and realized we were at another rest stop. I looked in the backseat and saw Collin slumped over, asleep.

“We've got a few more hours,” Vallery said. “Can you let me take a nap?”

“Fine,” I mumbled. We got out of the car and switched places. Vallery fell asleep before we were even out of the parking lot.

I listened to the radio, but every time I found a good station, I drove out of its signal area. After a while I decided I would play the alphabet game, except I'd find words instead of thinking them up. That would keep me alert and paying attention to the road instead of falling asleep and driving into a tree.

So
A
. That was easy. The van in front of me with Georgia plates had an Alpharetta High School bumper sticker.

B
was easy too. The word
business
on a billboard for cell phones.

C
took a while, but finally I spotted a Checkers restaurant advertised on one of those blue signs that tell you what's coming up at the next exit.

Then I saw
Days Inn
on the next blue sign.

Ten minutes went by and I couldn't find an
E
. I flipped through the stations on the radio. I spent ten more minutes looking for an
E
. Then my eyes started to shut.

“Orlando or bust,” I muttered to myself. I slapped my cheek. I opened my eyes wide. I pinched my leg.

I tried to find an
E
, but I could barely hold my eyes open.

Finally I crossed the border into Florida.

“Close enough,” I said. I pulled off at the Florida welcome center and shook Vallery awake. “I'm tired,” I said. “Tag.”

Vallery got out and rubbed her eyes as she walked around the car. I climbed over into the passenger seat.

“I don't know if I can stay awake,” she said.

“You better,” I snapped.

“What's your problem?”

“I'm tired.”

“Like I'm not.”

“You wanted to keep driving.”

“Lainey.”

“Vallery.”

She adjusted the rearview mirror. “Will you talk to me?”

“You didn't talk to me. Just play the alphabet game like I did. I got stuck on
E
.”

Vallery yawned. “Okay.”

I leaned my head back against the seat and shut my eyes. Vallery started the car and pulled back onto the highway. She slapped my leg. “Exit, Lainey. Duh.”

“Mmmm,” I mumbled.

“Let's see,” she said. “
F
—”

“No,” I said. “You play in your head.”

T
he next time I woke up, we were parked in front of a motel.

Vallery checked in and came back to the car with our keys. Collin was sleeping, so I carried him inside and laid him on one of the double beds. Vallery went into the bathroom to take a shower. I sat down on the bed with Collin.

Then I realized:
We're in Orlando!

I walked across the room and opened the dresser drawers until I found the white pages. I sat on the bed and looked up Elaine Pike. Still there. I tore the page out and then looked up Aunt Liz. I tore out that page too. I folded them and slipped them into my pocket. I put the phone book away and lay down on the bed beside Collin.

Vallery came out twenty minutes later in her pajamas with her hair wrapped up in a towel. We watched TV
while I waited for the hot water to heat up. Neither of us bothered to change the channel, which played some cheesy advertisement for Disney World. When the ad started playing again from the beginning, I went and took a shower.

“My hair smells like sour milk,” I said to Vallery as I came out of the bathroom. She was sprawled out on the bed with her eyes barely open.

“Should have used shampoo.”

“I did.” I leaned down and sniffed her hair. “You smell too.”

“I guess that's what happens when you let ice cream sit in your hair for hours.”

“Yeah, that was my idea.”

“Good night, Lainey.”

“Yeah. Good night.” I turned off the light and got into bed with Collin.

 

We slept until the afternoon, and then Vallery went down to the lobby and brought up a bunch of brochures. She spread them out on the bed and told Collin we could do whatever he wanted. He spent about half an hour looking at all the brochures before he finally decided that we should go to the go-cart track next door, which we could see out of our motel window.

“Look at those prices,” Vallery whispered to me as we stood in front of the go-cart track.

“Didn't you know everything down here was going to
be expensive?” I asked.

Vallery didn't answer because Collin was pulling on her shirt. “What is it, Collin?” she asked.

He turned around and pointed. “Feed the gators.”

We both looked behind us, and Vallery read the sign aloud. “‘Feed our gators. Two dollars.' Collin, if we feed the gators, we can't ride go-carts.”

“Okay,” Collin said.

“Which would you rather do?”

“Gators.”

Vallery winked at me. She took Collin's hand, and they walked up to the counter to buy gator food. I walked over and looked into the pit at the alligators swimming around. Did it not occur to her that maybe I'd rather ride go-carts, or did she just not care? I hadn't been on a go-cart since my ninth birthday. I wouldn't do it alone, though. I didn't have the money for it, and that wouldn't be much fun anyway.

Money. How the hell were we paying for this, anyway? We'd already spent a ton on gas, and the motel didn't look all that cheap, either.

Vallery and Collin came back with the food, which turned out to be sandwich bags full of hot-dog pieces. Vallery reached for a fishing pole. “Want to feed the gators, Lainey?”

“Um, no thanks.”

“It'll be fun.”

I rolled my eyes.

Collin ran over to the side of the pit and grabbed a fishing pole. Vallery slid a piece of hot dog onto the plastic prong at the end of the string. Collin swung the string into the water. We leaned over and watched as the alligators swam up and jumped for the hot dog. Water splashed as the alligators jostled around in the water and fought over the hot dog. Collin and Vallery laughed. I wondered if the slower alligators eventually starved to death. Survival of the fittest and all that.

“God, we need a camera,” Vallery said. “Lainey, go look in the store and see if they have a disposable one or something.”

I waited a second to see if she'd hand me any money, but she didn't even look at me. I had exactly fourteen dollars in my pocket, and not much more than that in my bank account. I walked over to the gift shop. I saw the disposable cameras right away, but I walked around looking at sunglasses and gum and then stood at the front of the store and watched Collin and Vallery through the window.

I couldn't believe that we'd spent sixteen hours in the car to get to Orlando to feed hot dogs on fishing poles to alligators. And that Vallery and Collin were actually enjoying it.

I bought a disposable camera. On my way out, I passed by a pay phone and thought about the white pages in my pocket. It occurred to me that I really
could
run away. I could stay here with Aunt Liz. I didn't have my clothes or
my car or any of my other stuff, but so what? I'd get a job. I'd replace it all. Fresh start. Clean slate.

“Lainey!” Vallery yelled. “Come take pictures!”

 

“Are you ready to go to Disney World today and meet Mickey Mouse?” Vallery asked as she got Collin dressed the next morning.

“No,” Collin said.

Vallery looked at me. Obviously, the entire point of running away to Orlando had been taking Collin to Disney World. And now he was going to be a brat about it and tell us no?

“Why not?” I asked.

He ran back to his bed and picked up one of the brochures. He handed it to Vallery. “‘Holy Land Experience,'” Vallery read. “This is where you want to go?”

Collin nodded.

“For real?” she asked. “Instead of Disney World?”

He nodded again.

Vallery went down to the lobby and brought back our complimentary breakfast of bagels and orange juice. We sat out on the balcony while Collin ate on his bed.

“Were you guys, like,
religious
?” Vallery asked. “Did Mom take him to Sunday school or something?”

“No,” I said.

“Well, maybe it will be fun. Who knows.”

“You don't have to really go there just because he says he wants to.”

“I'm not going to tell the kid he has to meet Mickey Mouse if he really just wants to meet Jesus.”

“He probably doesn't even know who Jesus is.”

“Do you think they have a Jesus impersonator there? Like, do you think you can have your picture taken with Jesus?”

I shrugged.

I realized this was my chance to see Aunt Liz. I couldn't have justified missing Disney World, but Vallery couldn't guilt me into seeing the Holy Land. “I guess you'll find out,” I said.

Vallery shook her head and took another bite of her bagel. Then she turned to me. “Wait, what do you mean,
I'll
find out?”

I touched my head. “You know, I really don't feel well.”

Vallery glared. “Are you freaking kidding me?”

“No,” I said. “I haven't felt well since yesterday.”

“I can't believe you're faking sick to get out of seeing the Holy Land.”

“I seriously don't feel well. I don't care if you don't believe me.”

“You're really sick?” She reached out and touched my forehead. “You do feel a little warm. And you've been looking kind of spacey. What exactly is wrong? Tell me your symptoms. I need to call in sick to work in a few minutes.”

She actually believed me?

Mom had never believed me when I faked sick.

“It's just my head. Like, a really bad headache.”

“That's not going to be enough. I think I'll tell them I have the stomach flu.”

“All right. So I guess I'll spend the day resting.”

“I can't believe you're doing this to me. I hope you feel better tomorrow.”

I sighed. “I'll make it up to you tomorrow. You can stay home and I'll take him wherever he wants.”

“No,” Vallery said. “Tomorrow I'll have him convinced he wants to see Mickey.”

 

After Vallery and Collin left, I walked to the pay phone outside the motel and dialed Aunt Liz's phone number.

“Hey, Aunt Liz. It's Lainey.”

“Lainey! How are you, sweetheart?”

“I'm fine. Guess what?”

“What?”

“I'm in Orlando.”

“Oh, how nice! What are you doing in town?”

There was no way I was telling her the truth. Then she'd want to see Vallery and Collin. I wasn't sure why that was such a bad thing, but it was.

“I'm here with a few girls looking at colleges. They're, uh, off doing some stuff today, so I was wondering if maybe I could stop by.”

“Oh, of course! I'm glad you caught me on my day off. Where are you staying, honey? I'll come get you.”

I told Aunt Liz where I was staying and then waited outside the lobby. While I waited, I imagined what it would be like to drive away with Aunt Liz and never come back. To start over in Florida with nothing but five outfits. Never arguing with Vallery again. Never fighting with Collin to get him to go to sleep at night. Not having to decide how I really felt about Riley or Eric. No more dealing with Old Crew nonsense.

When Aunt Liz pulled up to the curb, I caught my reflection in her passenger window. I was smiling.

“Oh my,” she said as I climbed into the car. She moved her purse off the seat. “Look at you! You're all grown up.”

We hugged awkwardly with the center console between us. I tried to remember the last time I'd seen Aunt Liz. Probably when I was ten.

“Don't tell me I look just like my mother,” I warned her.

She laughed. “Well, I never thought you did to begin with. I always thought you favored our side of the family. How's your dad doing?”

I shrugged. “He's fine.”

“Well, that's good to hear. I'm glad he has you up there with him, at least. He was really broken up when he called to tell us about your poor mother. I mean, it was so tragic.”

As we drove out of the tourist zone, the motels and gift shops and miniature golf courses gave way to dentists' offices and supermarkets. We turned down a
residential street, and Aunt Liz parked in front of a beige rancher. All the houses on the street looked just like hers. I knew that Grandma Elaine had lived two doors down, but I didn't know which direction. The house on the left had boarded-up windows. The house on the right had a playpen in the front yard full of broken-down cardboard boxes.

“Which house was Grandma Elaine's?” I asked as we sat in the car.

She pointed in the direction of the house with the playpen. “That one right there. We sold it to a nice young couple after your grandma died, and they lived in it for about a month and then rented it out to some of their redneck relatives. We're not happy about that at all, let me tell you. Should've just rented it out ourselves and handpicked our neighbors, you know?”

I nodded.

“Of course, it didn't look anything like that when your grandma lived there. She had such lovely flowers. The rednecks let them all die. And the grass, too. They can't even keep the grass alive.”

“I wish I could have seen it,” I said.

“I've got pictures. Plenty of pictures. We'll look at them, all right?”

“Okay,” I said.

We sat in the car and stared at Grandma Elaine's old house. “Do you have any pictures of her headstone?” I asked. “I never got to see what it looked like.”

“Oh, honey,” Aunt Liz said. “We don't need pictures. We'll go visit.”

She started the car back up and backed out of the driveway. “How are you and your brother holding up?” Aunt Liz asked.

“Fine,” I said.

“And your sister, too—how's she doing? Your dad said she moved back to Maryland to look after your brother. I bet that's a big help to you.”

“Yeah. She's actually Collin's guardian; I just help her out.”

“You kids,” Aunt Liz said, shaking her head. “You all turned out so well. It's just terrible about Lisa. I wish she could be here to see how responsible you are and how well you're all doing.”

“She could have been here if she wanted to,” I said. “She
killed
herself.”

Aunt Liz looked ahead and drove. “She had a lot of problems that caused her to do that. I'm sure she would have much rather stayed with you kids.”

I shrugged and looked out the window. “Everyone makes excuses for her.”

We turned into a cemetery. “You know, your grandmother drank a bit in her day,” Aunt Liz said.

“I know.”

“She smoked for forty-five years.”

“That long?”

Aunt Liz nodded. “She let her cholesterol get too
high, plus she had the diabetes. She wasn't one for exercise. She never even would have gone in for her checkups if I hadn't made her.”

I turned to Aunt Liz and gave her a look as if to say,
What's your point?

“I'm just saying if she'd taken better care of herself, we could have had another ten or fifteen good years with her. She could have gone to your wedding and held her great-grandbabies. But she made her choices, just like your mom did, and we have to live with them.”

I shook my head. “I don't know how you can even compare them.”

“Some people slowly kill themselves, Lainey. They don't all do it with a bullet or a noose or some pills, but they sure enough do it.”

“Grandma Elaine was
sick
. How could you even say something like that?”

Aunt Liz touched my arm. “I'm not trying to upset you, honey. I'm just trying to get you to look at it from a different point of view. Maybe you shouldn't judge your mother so harshly. I'm just saying maybe she was sick too. In a different way.”

“Let's not talk about my mother. Okay?”

Aunt Liz looked at me closely. “You're really angry, huh?”

I laughed. “Of course I'm angry.”

“Is it doing you any good?”

I didn't answer her, because I thought that was a
stupid question. I knew it wasn't doing me any good. But how was I supposed to stop? What else was I supposed to be?