The Snowball Effect (18 page)

I fell asleep and dreamed about snow.

 

The Old Crew must have told Riley all about the new bearded, camouflage-coat-wearing guy I was dating, because he called and said he was coming over so we could talk.

We sat on the porch on the Walmart swing Mom had bought but never really used. She'd gotten it thinking that she and Carl could sit there on the porch during the summer while Collin played in the yard, but it didn't work out that way. Carl didn't like the porch because of the bugs flying around everywhere.

“I need to know if we still have a chance to make this work,” Riley said. He didn't look at me. He looked at Collin. I watched Collin too, as he played in the grass with his toy soldiers and LEGOs.

“I guess everyone told you about the guy I was with last night.”

“They didn't say much.”

“Come on. I know they did. What did they tell you?”

“They said he was nice but a little strange, not your usual type. I didn't want details. I don't want to know who he is. I don't even want to know his name.”

“Okay,” I said.

“So you're with him now? Like really with him?”

“Well, yeah. I guess.”

“I get that you're confused. Doubts are natural, you know? After my parents got engaged, a few months later my mom got cold feet and they took a break. But it all worked out. My mom wasn't dating another guy, though. Do you understand what I'm saying?”

I nodded. If I stayed with Eric, Riley wouldn't wait around for me to change my mind.

“You know what I think you should do. And Kara told you what she thinks you should do. Unfortunately your life isn't a democracy, so you get to do whatever you want. I mean, do you really like this guy?”

“Yeah. I like him okay.”

Riley laughed like he didn't think anything was funny, and he grabbed my hand. I tried to pull it back, but he held on and stared at me. “You're going to throw away almost four years with me for a guy that you like ‘okay.' Think about how that makes me feel. Just think for a second about that, Lainey.”

I looked down at the ground. “I know how it sounds, but I'm really not trying to be a bitch about it.”

“I know you're not. But I just need to know what we're doing here.”

“Why? Are you going to start dating someone else?”

Riley didn't answer right away, and I jumped up and pointed my finger at him. “Oh my God, you
are
!”

“I'm not
dating
anyone. A girl asked me out. That's all. We're supposed to go out on Wednesday after work. I don't even really want to go. But if you're telling me we're over, if you're dating this other guy, then why shouldn't I go and have a good time and meet new people?”

I sat back down. “Well, I don't care what you do.”

“Really.”

“I don't. Date a girl. What do I care? We should both move on.”

“Road!” Riley screamed. He jumped up and pushed past me. I spun around and saw that Collin had climbed the fence. I ran toward Collin, but Riley had enough sense to run for the gate. While I helplessly reached over the fence toward Collin, Riley intercepted him at the sidewalk.

“No road!” I screamed at Collin as Riley carried him back into the yard. He set him down in front of me, and I grabbed Collin's hand and smacked it. “What's wrong with you? You could get hurt!” I looked at Riley. “We're going to have a time-out. I'll see you later.”

“No!” Collin screamed. If Riley said bye, I didn't hear it. I dragged Collin into the house kicking and screaming.

“My LEGOs!” he yelled, and tried to yank away from me.

“You're punished from LEGOs.” I threw Collin down on the couch. “Time-out for five minutes.”

“No time-out!”

“Yes, time-out.” I sat down beside him and threw my leg over his lap so he couldn't move. “If you fight, it will be five more minutes.”

I stared at Collin and wondered what would possess him to climb the fence and run for the road. There was nothing there. No ball rolling away. No cute puppy. No ice cream truck. Nothing that would entice a normal kid to run into the street. But of course I wasn't dealing with a normal kid.

And of course I hadn't been the one to protect him. That had been Riley yet again. And probably for the last time. What would have happened if we'd been out in the yard, just the two of us, without Riley? I might not have even noticed.

When I started crying, Collin stopped struggling to get free. He turned and looked up at me. I pulled my leg off him. He climbed onto my lap. “What's wrong?” he asked.

“Don't run in the road,” I said. “It's very bad.”

He held my chin and stared into my eyes. The tears made him look blurry, and I could hardly make out his face. “Don't cry,” he whispered. “Feel happy.” He kissed me on the cheek.

“I'm happy,” I said. I wiped my eyes and forced a smile. “Go play. Time-out's over.”

He jumped up and ran off. I went outside and brought in his LEGOs.

Feel happy. If only it could be that easy.

 

While Collin played in the bathroom with his toy soldiers, I got the phone to call Kara. “Do not flush them,” I said one more time before I dialed.

I didn't bother with hello. “Who is Riley dating?” I asked when she answered.

“I don't think he's
dating
anyone,” Kara said carefully.

“He told me a girl asked him out. And since
I'm
your best friend, not Riley, I want you to tell me who the girl is.”

“Christine really knows more about it than I do.”

“Fine, I'm calling Christine.”

I hung up on Kara and dialed Christine's number as I paced in the hallway.

“Who is Riley dating?” I asked when she answered.

“I don't think—”

“Come on, I just had this exact same conversation with Kara.”

“As far as I know, he's just going out on a date with this girl Gina.”

“Did you set him up with her?”

“Lainey, please.”

“Well, where'd he meet her?”

“We were having lunch at José Yummy's—”

“I knew this was going to have something to do with you.”

“Do you want to hear the story or not?”

“Yes.”

“So we went there for lunch, me and Riley and Wallace, and Gina was working there, and she was kind of flirty with Riley, so afterward Wallace told him to go get her number and he didn't want to, obviously because he's still in love with you. But then Wallace said, ‘Maybe it will make Lainey jealous.' So Riley went up and got her number. And I assure you he was only doing it to make you jealous. And you're obviously jealous, so it worked. Are you guys back together?”

“Why would I call you and ask you who Riley's dating if Riley and I were back together?”

“Is that one of your sarcastic questions that I'm not really supposed to have an answer for?”

“He's going out with her.”

“Well it's your own fault. You should have told him not to.”

I heard a crash in the bathroom. “I have to go.” I hung up on Christine and then ran to the bathroom to see what Collin had broken now.

 

Riley wanted to date? Whatever. I had Eric. Eric was cute. Nice. Funny. Cooler than Gina. On the day of Riley's date, I invited myself over to Eric's. We had an absolutely thrilling afternoon, wrapped up in blankets on the couch bed watching TV. He kept the air conditioner blasting all day long and it was always freezing cold in his room. Or apartment. Or basement. Whatever you wanted to call it.

“I'm hungry,” I said, running my hands through the hair on his chest. Riley had been relatively hairless. Yet another reason my new boyfriend was far superior to my old one. Older, wiser, hairier.

“What do you want?” Eric asked.

“I don't know.”

“We can make grilled cheese.”

“Grilled cheese?”

“Yeah. We'll put the sandwiches between our hot bodies and melt the cheese.”

I rolled my eyes, but Eric couldn't see. Despite the fact that I wouldn't let him do much more than kiss me, he thought his naughty jokes were hilarious.

“Didn't you like my joke?” he asked.

“I think it's the cheesiest thing anyone has ever said.”

“Cheesiest?” Eric asked. “Was that a pun?”

“Yes,” I said.

Eric cracked up, so I gave in and laughed too. “I don't even have cheese,” he finally said. “Let's try again.”

“How about burgers?”

“Burgers?”

“Mmm, yummy burgers.”

“What kind of yummy burgers?”

“From the place we went the first time I worked with you.”

“Oh, that place in Annapolis? I'm not going to take you back there if you're planning on getting the same thing.”

“Why not?”

“Because you said it was the best burger you'd ever had. And if I take you back, you'll just be disappointed.”

“Okay, that's dumb.”

“No, it's not. Every time you eat something that blows your mind, and then go back and have it again, it's not as good. And that depresses the hell out of me.”

“Well, maybe it will be just as good.”

“In my experience, that's never true.”

“But it could be.”

“I'm going to tell you a story.”

“All right. I like stories.” I laid my head on his chest. Eric kissed my forehead.

“Once upon a time I worked at a supermarket, and in the same shopping center as this supermarket, there was a snowball stand. So every day after work I stopped at the snowball stand and got a raspberry-flavored snowball. But on one particular day, I was feeling rather decadent, so I opted instead for something called chocolate-covered cherry. It was mind-blowingly delicious. It stopped the world. I could have died happy right then and there eating that snowball. You know what I did the next day?”

I rolled my eyes. “You got another chocolate-covered cherry snowball, and it sucked.”

“No. Because I was
smart
, I went back to raspberry. I knew that the conditions of that particular day could never be replicated again, and that the chocolate-covered
cherry snowball wasn't going to be the same to me as it had been the day before. And I wanted to remember that perfect moment forever. I didn't want to remember it as the flavor that disappointed me. I want to remember it as the flavor that stopped the world on that hot August afternoon. Instead of spoiling it, I'm never going to get that flavor ever again.”

“That's an awful story. You're needlessly depriving yourself.”

“You never take anything I say seriously.”

“You just keep talking and I'm way too hungry to listen.”

“Fine, you want burgers?”

I nodded.

Eric sat up. “All right, we'll get burgers. But you're going to be sorry.”

 

“The chef could be different today,” he said as we sat at the table eating peanuts and waiting for our burgers. “Maybe the chef who makes the amazing burgers is off on Wednesdays.”

“You're insane.”

“Maybe you were really hungry the first time and that's why it tasted so good.”

“I'm really hungry now.”

“Maybe your body thought it really needed red meat that day.”

“My body really wants red meat today too.”

“There's a difference between what you need and what you want.”

“I'm beginning to think you're too philosophical for a guy who sells magazine subscriptions door-to-door.”

“I'm beginning to think you're a little too cocky for a girl who got fired from her job at the mall.”

I rolled my eyes.

When our burgers came, Eric didn't touch his; he sat and watched me. I'd already made up my mind that no matter how it tasted, I was going to pretend that it was the best burger ever. So I bit into it and mmmmm'ed and smiled as I chewed.

“It's good?” Eric asked.

“It's perfection,” I said.

“Well, I'm glad.”

“You're not glad,” I said. “You're upset that I proved you wrong.”

“I'm paying nine bucks for that burger. Trust me, I'm glad you're enjoying it.”

“You know, I have a philosophy too.”

“Yeah, what's that?”

“You don't know until you try.”

“That's a fine philosophy.”

“Thank you very much.”

I finished my burger and then picked at my fries until the cashier brought the check. After we'd paid and walked out to the parking lot, I asked Eric, “Can we check out that snowball stand now?”

 

The snowball stand was outside of Weil's, the grocery store that Mom and I used to shop at when we lived in the old house. It had been the closest one and we could walk there. There hadn't been a snowball stand in the parking lot back then. I wondered if Eric had ever gone shopping there with his mom before the existence of the snowball stand, if maybe we'd passed by each other in the aisles.

A pretty girl with long dark hair greeted us at the snowball stand and stood there patiently while I looked at the menu. It had been ages since I'd had a snowball.

“What do you recommend?” I asked the girl.

She shrugged. “I don't eat them. I don't like sweets.”

“I've heard good things about the raspberry,” Eric said, running his fingers through my hair.

“Okay,” I told the girl. “One raspberry and one chocolate-covered cherry.” While the girl made our snowballs, I poked Eric in the ribs. “My philosophy is about to kick your philosophy's butt.”

“We'll see,” he said. “You know, you can't even find snowballs outside of Baltimore.”

“I don't believe that,” I said.

“It's true. You might be able to get a snow cone, but it's not the same. Not as good.”