The Songwriter (3 page)

“
I am asking you. It’s selfish of me but I believe you can do this.”

When Gwen didn’t agree
, Trey got up and paced, raking his hands through his hair. He needed a singer and he knew he had the right one. Gwen Harper. No one else would do. The moment he heard her voice, his instincts went on a hyper alert status that hadn’t eased.

“
I don’t want to cancel the tour.”

“
I understand that.”

“
I don’t want to disappoint the fans.”

She bit her lip.
“Neither do I, but I’m not the one they’re expecting.”

“
Everyone knows what Natasha did,” Trey said impatiently. “She left me high and dry, found some poor schmuck, married him after knowing him a week and took off to I don’t care where.”

He didn’t want to talk about Natasha anymore. He broke up with her knowing she was capable of pulling a stunt like this and he d
id it anyway. Now his crew and fans might pay the price, but at the moment he had a tiny ray of hope that Gwen could fix everything. All he needed was for her to say yes and he would make sure everything worked out.

“
The fans know Natasha isn’t going to be on the tour. They’re just hoping it doesn’t cancel which I need to do right now if I can’t find a singer.”

Gwen
tugged on her braid. Trey wasn’t sure what to say to make her agree and he racked his brains to figure out what would be the tipping point for her. Gwen jiggled her foot nervously as Trey threw down his ace.

“
Natasha did this to both of us.”

Gwen paused.
“What?”

“
She took off, knowing it would hurt both of our businesses. I say to hell with her. We can show her that we can still do this without her.” He smiled at Gwen. “I’d sure love to see her face when she hears you’re replacing her.”

Gwen looked like she was going to puke. She took a deep breath.
“I’m not a performer.” 

“
I can teach you,” Trey said with such confidence that she believed him.

“
What about my clients?”

“
The tour is six months. Whatever you agreed to during that time, I’ll make sure you have the time and space you need to write. I’ll fly you to your clients if I have to.”

Gwen began to
shake her foot again and tried to bring her thoughts into focus. She could do video chats, phone calls and email for the most part. The hardest thing would be to find the quiet and time during a hectic tour schedule. There was only one client that wouldn’t accept the distance, but she could deal with him when the time came. Trey knelt down on his knees in front of her and gravely took her hand.

Gwen shook her head.
“You’re insane.”

“
I’m serious. Come on tour with me. I’ll take care of everything.”

“
I have stage fright.”

“
I figured. I can help with that.”

“
Telling me not to have stage fright isn’t going to work,” she snapped.

“
Four songs per show and I’ll still be onstage with you for each one. It’s six months and I’ll pay you what Natasha would make.”

She gaped at him
, well aware how much Natasha made on these tours. “Why would you do that?”

“
That’s how much I believe in you.”

Damn his smooth hide. That line sold her and she looked into those wicked blue eyes of his and knew that for him
… she would do whatever it took.

“
How do we do this shit?” Gwen sighed.

The next day Gwen was having an anxiety attack in a bathroom stall when Trey slammed open the door to the women’s room. Gwen didn’t answer when Trey called her name but he knew her too well. He put his eye right up to the gap in the door.

“
Damn it, Gwen! I thought you didn’t show up!” he shouted.

She crossed her arms.
“I-I changed my mind. I don’t want to help you. I don’t c-care about the tour.”

“
Open the door.”

Gwen shook her head and when he disappeared
, she let out a breath of relief until he appeared above her in the next stall. Gwen shrieked and cursed as he jumped into her stall, unlocked the door and dragged her out of the women’s bathroom while she pummeled his arm.

“
You can’t make me do this!” Gwen yelled as he dragged her down the hallway.

P
eople stopped and stared.

“
Too late. You’re committed. Everybody’s waiting.”

“
Who’s waiting?” she shrieked.

Trey kicked open a door and Gwen went limp
as she took in the beautiful white stage with lights and moving parts that would change throughout the show. They were in a warehouse where the stage crew ran around, making sure the sound and lights were just right. Angie paced in front of the stage with an unlit cigarette in her mouth and turquoise heels. Angie came to a stop when she saw Gwen and tapped her shoe. Gwen didn’t have to hear Angie speak to know she thought this was a cruel joke. People called out greetings as Trey hauled Gwen over to the stage and thrust a microphone into her hand. Gwen’s hand shook so badly she almost dropped it. Everyone stopped what they were doing. Trey walked to the edge of the stage and addressed them all.

“
Gwen is going to take Natasha’s place,” he announced.

Dead silence.

“But, does she sing?” someone ventured.

“
You think I’d replace Natasha with someone that can’t sing?” Trey snapped.

Gwen wished the trap door she was standing on would swallow her so she could disappear beneath the stage and run like hell. Trey turned to her, every inch the demanding superstar.

“Sing,” he commanded.

Gwen’s mouth opened and closed and she
was suddenly drenched in cold sweat. A spotlight clicked on and she couldn’t see the crew anymore but she knew they were there, watching and listening. Bile rose in her throat. Trey waved his hand to get her attention and she looked at him through dilated eyes.

“
You’re fine,” he said. “Sing to me.”

She open
ed and closed her mouth and heard Angie snort derisively. Gwen shook her head to clear it and her whole body trembled.

“
I can’t,” she whispered.

“
Everybody leave,” Trey commanded.

For a moment no one moved but when he cast a dangerous look around they scrambled out of the warehouse. Gwen tried to tell him it wasn’t necessary but her throat was so dry she thoug
ht she was going to vomit. She grabbed a bottle of water and drank half of it before she felt as if she wouldn’t faint. She sank to her knees and buried her face in her hands.

“
I’m telling you, I can’t do this,” she whispered.

“
You can. Get up.”

Trey held out his hand. She looked up at his implacable face and let him pull her up.
He didn’t say anything for a moment so she strolled over to the stand where his guitar was. She ran her hands over the strings and took a deep, bracing breath.

“
Is it the audience that freaks you out?”

“
I guess.” She shook her head and drank more water. “I don’t like being in front of people. I never have.”

He looked her
up and down. “I never thought of you as timid. Your mouth is usually running all the time.”

She shot him an irritated look.
“I’m not timid. Talking to you one on one is different than being onstage.”

“
Why? Think of singing onstage as you and I just chatting.”

“
That doesn’t make sense.”

“
I’m serious. Just sing to me.”

“
I don’t like singing in front of anybody!” she said, stomping her foot in frustration.

“
Why?”

“
Because I don’t think I sound good.”

He put his hands on her shoulders and shook her.
“Gwen, listen to me. I’m a great singer.”

“
Is that supposed to help me feel better?” she asked scathingly.

He shook her again.
“And
you
are a great singer too.” She rolled her eyes as he continued, “You’re not Natasha. No one else will ever be like her. It’s the same with you. Natasha can’t sing the way you do and I’m telling you, if you can do what I heard in the sound room Natasha will lose her mind.”

She looked at him for a long minute.
“Are you trying to suck up to me?”

“
Absolutely not.”

She
paced the length of the stage and shaded her eyes from the blinding light.

“
What’s going on in your head?”

“
How did I get myself into this?”

He snickered.
“You were born for this, you just don’t know it. Stop thinking you can get out of this because you can’t.”

“
Gee, thanks.”

“
How can I make you feel-” Trey plucked his guitar from the stand and handed it to her with a flourish.

Despite
her current predicament, Gwen was touched. “You’re giving it to me?”

“
If you make it through the tour, it’s yours.”

She strapped it on, closed her eyes and ran her fingers over the strings and before she thought better of it, played the beginning of
The Better Man
.

“
Alright. We’re in business. Now sing to me.”

Trey stood in front of her, blocking the light with his body.
His eyes seemed more piercing than ever because of the white stage and they temporarily mesmerized her. She played the chords for the song but didn’t sing. She was gearing herself up for it but she wasn’t quite there yet. She didn’t want to admit she was intimidated by Trey. He was a friend and that was separate from his professional life of being a country superstar. Being onstage with him brought back years of hero worship and watching him entertain thousands of fans screaming his name. The thought of measuring up to Trey and Natasha made her throat close up.

He cocked his head to the side.
“So you think I should cancel the tour?”

She blanched.
“No.”

“
There are over one hundred people hired for this tour, expecting it to take off in less than two weeks. Those people lose their job if you don’t sing.”

No pressure
. Gwen licked dry lips and began to sing.

I have a man that loves me,

that
holds me at night

Her voice cracked on the first line but Trey’s expression didn’t change. She struggled through her own song and was mortified with all the inconsistencies in her voice. She grit her teeth in frustration because she knew she was better than this.

“
You need more confidence.”

“
I have confidence!”

He wagged that damn long finger in her face again.
“You have confidence in
songwriting
, not singing. What if I replaced you with one of the girls from yesterday?”

“
I’d tell you that you’re better off canceling the tour.”

“
Okay. You need to change what you’re thinking when you sing. Whatever you’re thinking comes out in your voice. I can hear you holding back and doubting yourself. If you believe in your song, it should translate into your voice.”

“
That makes sense.”

“
You believe in the songs you write?”

She stared at him and emotions he didn’t under
stand passed through her eyes. “You’re trying to sing
The Better Man
the way Natasha does. Stop. Only Natasha can pull that off. We’re going to sing the song the way you wrote it. I think it’s more powerful that way.”

Natasha and Trey were
rock stars. They hit hard, loud and fast with a lot of energy. Doing the songs acoustic was going against the grain, but she secretly applauded Trey for the change. The songs had much more impact acoustic and it was one thing in her favor.

Trey smiled.
“You’re not coming on tour to be Natasha. You’re coming on as yourself and we’re going to do things different.”

“
Natasha’s going to shit a brick.”

“
It’s about time we shook it up, huh? I kicked her out of my life and I want to start fresh. You can help me with that. New start, new kind of tour. You feel me?”

She so badly wanted to help him break his Natasha habit.
“I feel you.”

“
Okay. Let’s do this. Sing to me.”

They faced each other and she began to play the guitar again and unconsciously rocked from side to side. Moving was as much a part of her as writing lyrics. Her body moved with the beat and she closed her eyes to fall into the lyrics.
I can do this, she thought. It’s just Trey and he thinks I can sing. He won’t laugh.

Should I marry the one

who
loves me for who I am

Or
hope one day

you’ll
see the real me?

“Look at me, Gwen.”

She opened her eyes and immediately began to stumble over her words.

“It’s just me,” he said and spread his arms wide as if there was absolutely no reason for her to be nervous.

Gwen
shot him a dirty look. Oh yeah, nothing to worry about. It’s just Trey Phoenix, voted sexiest man alive three years in a row and the largest country superstar in the world. It took several seconds for her to find her rhythm again.

“
Louder, Gwen. It’s just you and me.”

I have a man that loves me,

that
holds me at night

“Say it like you mean it.”

He tells me he loves me everyday

He wants what I do,

a stable home, children

“Move around the stage,” he said.

She obliged and felt like she was in a
marching band as he told her to walk here and there, sing louder and “again, from the top!” On her third try, Trey grabbed a mic and jumped in during his part.

I can’t give you what you need

The man who put tha
t ring

on
your finger loves you

Goose bumps rippled over her skin. This is why I write songs, she thought. She just stared at him for several moments, frozen by his voice. When he raised his brows at her, she stumbled through her lines. She waited for Trey to get angry or impatient, but he was unnaturally calm and patient and that helped her relax bit by bit.

Trey stared at her as he sang his lines.

I can’t give you
more,

I’m not the man you think I am

Marry the better man

They finished the song together and he tapped his chin. “Better. Now we have to work on the emotion.”

“
What?” Gwen was outraged.

“
You had the emotion in the sound room. Out here, you’re just singing. I want to feel it. The audience needs to see it on your face. They need to buy into the fact that this song is about you and me. Got it?”

She swallowed.
“Yeah.”

“
Good. Now give me the guitar.”

Reluctantly
, she handed it over and felt naked. He handed her the mic and she clutched it with both hands. Trey started the song again and it felt so weird to be without an instrument that she stumbled again when she sang. Trey patiently restarted the song until he seemed satisfied. As soon as they reached the end of the song, Trey would “take it from the top” and they would begin all over again. It became so repetitive that she had no choice but to relax. She forgot about the spotlight and focused on blending their voices together.

S
he pictured Trey singing when she wrote these songs, but the reality of it was amazing. Standing within an arm’s length of him when he sang at the top of his range nearly bowled her over. She was stunned when he asked her for tips to make his voice shine during the acoustic version. When he immediately adjusted his voice to hers, she felt a little star struck and berated herself. After being around Trey thirteen years it was ridiculous to have such a juvenile reaction to his voice but she did.