The sound and the fury (17 page)

     "Shut up," Spoade said. "Give it to him, bud, and let's get out of here. The ladies are waiting for us. You got six dollars?" 
     "Yes," I said. I gave him six dollars. 
     "Case dismissed," he said. 
     "You get a receipt," Shreve said. "You get a signed receipt for that money." 
      The squire looked at Shreve mildly. "Case dismissed," he said without raising his voice. 
     "I'll be damned--" Shreve said. 
     "Come on here," Spoade said, taking his arm. "Good afternoon, Judge. Much obliged." As we passed out the door Julio's voice rose again, violent, then ceased. Spoade was looking at me, his brown eyes quizzical, a little cold. "Well, bud, I reckon you'll do your girl chasing in Boston after this." 
     "You damned fool," Shreve said. "What the hell do you mean anyway, straggling off here, fooling with these damn wops?" 
     "Come on," Spoade said. "They must be getting impatient." 
      Mrs Bland was talking to them. They were Miss Holmes and Miss Daingerfield and they quit listening to her and looked at me again with that delicate and curious horror, their veils turned back upon their little white noses and their eyes fleeing and mysterious beneath the veils. 
     "Quentin Compson," Mrs Bland said. "What would your mother say. A young man naturally gets into scrapes, but to be arrested on foot by a country policeman. What did they think he'd done, Gerald?" 
     "Nothing," Gerald said. 
     "Nonsense. What was it, you, Spoade?" 
     "He was trying to kidnap that little dirty girl, but they caught him in time," Spoade said. 
     "Nonsense," Mrs Bland said, but her voice sort of died away and she stared at me for a moment, and the girls drew their breaths in with a soft concerted sound. "Fiddlesticks," Mrs Bland said briskly. "If that isn't just like these ignorant lowclass Yankees. Get in, Quentin." 
      Shreve and I sat on two small collapsible seats. Gerald cranked the car and got in and we started. 
     "Now, Quentin, you tell me what all this foolishness is about," Mrs Bland said. I told them, Shreve hunched and furious on his little seat and Spoade sitting again on the back of his neck beside Miss Daingerfield. 
     "And the joke is, all the time Quentin had us all fooled," Spoade said. "All the time we thought he was the model youth that anybody could trust a daughter with, until the police showed him up at his nefarious work." 
     "Hush up, Spoade," Mrs Bland said. We drove down the street and crossed the bridge and passed the house where the pink garment hung in the window. "That's what you get for not reading my note. Why didn't you come and get it? Mr MacKenzie says he told you it was there." 
     "Yessum. I intended to, but I never went back to the room." 
     "You'd have let us sit there waiting I dont know how long, if it hadn't been for Mr MacKenzie. When he said you hadn't come back, that left an extra place, so we asked him to come. We're very glad to have you anyway, Mr MacKenzie." Shreve said nothing. His arms were folded and he glared straight ahead past Gerald's cap. It was a cap for motoring in England. Mrs Bland said so. We passed that house, and three others, and another yard where the little girl stood by the gate. She didn't have the bread now, and her face looked like it had been streaked with coaldust. I waved my hand, but she made no reply, only her head turned slowly as the car passed, following us with her unwinking gaze. Then we ran beside the wall, our shadows running along the wall, and after a while we passed a piece of torn newspaper lying beside the road and I began to laugh again. I could feel it in my throat and I looked off into the trees where the afternoon slanted, thinking of afternoon and of the bird and the boys in swimming. But still I couldn't stop it and then I knew that if I tried too hard to stop it I'd be crying and I thought about how I'd thought about I could not be a virgin, with so many of them walking along in the shadows and whispering with their soft girlvoices lingering in the shadowy places and the words coming out and perfume and eyes you could feel not see, but if it was that simple to do it wouldn't be anything and if it wasn't anything, what was I and then Mrs Bland said, "Quentin? Is he sick, Mr MacKenzie?" and then Shreve's fat hand touched my knee and Spoade began talking and I quit trying to stop it. 
     "If that hamper is in his way, Mr MacKenzie, move it over on your side. I brought a hamper of wine because I think young gentlemen should drink wine, although my father, Gerald's grandfather  "    
ever do that Have you ever done that In the gray darkness a little light her hands locked about
     "They do, when they can get it," Spoade said. "Hey, Shreve?"   
her knees her face looking at the sky the smell of honeysuckle upon her face and throat
     "Beer, too," Shreve said. His hand touched my knee again. I moved my knee again. 
like a thin wash of lilac colored paint talking about him bringing
     "You're not a gentleman," Spoade said.   
him between us until the shape of her blurred not with dark
     "No. I'm Canadian," Shreve said.
talking about him the oar blades winking him along winking the Cap made for motoring in England and all time rushing beneath and they two blurred within the other forever more he had been in the army had killed men
     "I adore Canada," Miss Daingerfield said. "I think it's marvellous." 
     "Did you ever drink perfume?" Spoade said.
with one hand he could lift her to his shoulder and run with her running Running
     "No," Shreve said.
running the beast with two backs and she blurred in the winking oars running the swine of Euboeleus running coupled within how many Caddy
     "Neither did I," Spoade said.   
I dont know too many there was something terrible in me terrible in me Father I have committed Have you ever done that We didnt we didnt do that did we do that
     "and Gerald's grandfather always picked his own mint before breakfast, while the dew was still on it. He wouldn't even let old Wilkie touch it do you remember Gerald but always gathered it himself and made his own julep. He was as crotchety about his julep as an old maid, measuring everything by a recipe in his head. There was only one man he ever gave that recipe to; that was   "
we did how can you not know it if youll just wait Ill tell you how it was it was a crime we did a terrible crime it cannot be hid you think it can but wait    Poor Quentin youve never done that have you    and Ill tell you how it was Ill tell Father then itll have to be because you love Father then well have to go away amid the pointing and the horror the clean flame Ill make you say we did Im stronger than you Ill make you know we did you thought it was them but it was me listen I fooled you all the time it was me you thought I was in the house where that damn honeysuckle trying not to think the swing the cedars the secret surges the breathing locked drinking the wild breath the yes Yes Yes yes
     "never be got to drink wine himself, but he always said that a hamper what book did you read that in the one where Gerald's rowing suit of wine was a necessary part of any gentlemen's picnic basket"   
did you love them Caddy did you love them When they touched me I died
     one minute she was standing there the next he was yelling and pulling at her dress they went into the hall and up the stairs yelling and shoving at her up the stairs to the bathroom door and stopped her back against the door and her arm across her face yelling and trying to shove her into the bathroom when she came in to supper T. P. was feeding him he started again just whimpering at first until she touched him then he yelled she stood there her eyes like cornered rats then I was running in the gray darkness it smelled of rain and all flower scents the damp warm air released and crickets sawing away in the grass pacing me with a small travelling island of silence Fancy watched me across the fence blotchy like a quilt on a line I thought damn that nigger he forgot to feed her again I ran down the hill in that vacuum of crickets like a breath travelling across a mirror she was lying in the water her head on the sand spit the water flowing about her hips there was a little more light in the water her skirt half saturated flopped along her flanks to the waters motion in heavy ripples going nowhere renewed themselves of their own movement I stood on the bank I could smell the honeysuckle on the water gap the air seemed to drizzle with honeysuckle and with the rasping of crickets a substance you could feel 
on the flesh 
is Benjy still crying 
I dont know yes I dont know 
poor Benjy 
I sat down on the bank the crass was damn a little then I found my shoes wet 
get out of that water are you crazy 
but she didnt move her face was a white blur framed out of the blur of the sand by her hair 
get out now 
she sat up then she rose her skirt flopped against her draining she climbed the bank her clothes flopping sat down 
why dont you wring it out do you want to catch cold 
yes 
the water sucked and gurgled across the sand spit and on in the dark among the willows across the shallow the water rippled like a piece of cloth holding still a little light as water does 
hes crossed all the oceans all around the world 
then she talked about him clasping her wet knees her face tilted back in the gray light the smell of honeysuckle there was a light in mothers room and in Benjys where T. P. was putting him to bed 
do you love him 
her hand came out I didnt move it fumbled down my arm and she held my hand flat against her chest her heart thudding 
no no 
did he make you then he made you do it let him he was stronger than you and he tomorrow Ill kill him I swear I will father neednt know until afterward and then you and I nobody need ever know we can take my school money we can cancel my matriculation Caddy you hate him dont you dont you 
she held my hand against her chest her heart thudding I turned and caught her arm 
Caddy you hate him dont you 
she moved my hand up against her throat her heart was hammering there 
poor Quentin 
her face looked at the sky it was low so low that all smells and sounds of night seemed to have been crowded down like under a slack tent especially the honeysuckle it had got into my breathing it was on her face and throat like paint her blood pounded against my hand I was leaning on my other arm it began to jerk and jump and I had to pant to get any air at all out of that thick gray honeysuckle 
yes I hate him I would die for him Ive already died for him I die for him over and over again everytime this goes 
when I lifted my hand I could still feel crisscrossed twigs and grass burning into the palm 
poor Quentin 
she leaned back on her arms her hands locked about her knees 
youve never done that have you 
what done what 
that what I have what I did 
yes yes lots of times with lots of girls 
then I was crying her hand touched me again and I was crying against her damp blouse then she lying on her back looking past my head into the sky I could see a rim of white under her irises I opened my knife do you remember the day damuddy died when you sat down in the water in your drawers 
yes 
I held the point of the knife at her throat 
it wont take but a second just a second then I can do mine I can do mine then 
all right can you do yours by yourself 
yes the blades long enough Benjys in bed by now 
yes 
it wont take but a second Ill try not to hurt 
all right 
will you close your eyes 
no like this youll have to push it harder 
touch your hand to it 
but she didnt move her eyes were wide open looking past my head at the sky 
Caddy do you remember how Dilsey fussed at you because your drawers were muddy 
dont cry 
Im not crying Caddy 
push it are you going to 
do you want me to 
yes push it 
touch your hand to it 
dont cry poor Quentin 
but I couldnt stop she held my head against her damp hard breast I could hear her heart going firm and slow now not hammering and the water gurgling among the willows in the dark and waves of honeysuckle coming up the air my arm and shoulder were twisted under me 
what is it what are you doing 
her muscles gathered I sat up 
its my knife I dropped it 
she sat up 
what time is it 
I dont know 
she rose to her feet I fumbled along the ground 
Im going let it go 
to the house 
I could feel her standing there I could smell her damp clothes feeling her there 
its right here somewhere 
let it go you can find it tomorrow come on 
wait a minute Ill find it 
are you afraid to 
here it is it was right here all the time 
was it come on 
I got up and followed we went up the hill the crickets hushing before us 
its funny how you can sit down and drop something and have to hunt all around for it 
the gray it was gray with dew slanting up into the gray sky 
then the trees beyond 
damn that honeysuckle I wish it would stop 
you used to like it 
we crossed the crest and went on toward the trees she walked into me she gave over a little the ditch was a black scar on the gray grass she walked into me again she looked at me and gave over we reached the ditch 
lets go this way 
what for 
lets see if you can still see Nancys bones I havens thought 
to look in a long time have you 
it was matted with vines and briers dark 
they were right here you cant tell whether you see them or not can you 
stop Quentin 
come on 
the ditch narrowed closed she turned toward the trees 
stop Quentin 
Caddy 
I got in front of her again 
Caddy 
stop it 
I held her 
Im stronger than you 
she was motionless hard unyielding but still 
I wont fight stop youd better stop 
Caddy dont Caddy 
it wont do any good dont you know it wont let me go the honeysuckle drizzled and drizzled I could hear the crickets watching us in a circle she moved back went around me on toward the trees 
you go on back to the house you neednt come 
I went on 
why dont you go on back to the house 
damn that honeysuckle 
we reached the fence she crawled through I crawled through when I rose from stooping he was coming out of the trees into the gray toward us coming toward us tall and flat and still even moving like he was still she went to him 
this is Quentin Im wet Im wet all over you dont have to if you dont want to 
their shadows one shadow her head rose it was above his on the sky higher their two heads you dont have to if you dont want to then not two heads the darkness smelled of rain of damp grass and leaves the gray light drizzling like rain the honeysuckle coming up in damp waves I could see her face a blur against his shoulder he held her in one arm like she was no bigger than a child he extended his hand