The sound and the fury (18 page)

glad to know you 
we shook hands then we stood there her shadow high 
against his shadow one shadow 
whatre you going to do Quentin 
walk a while I think Ill go through the woods to the road and come back through town 
I turned away going 
goodnight 
Quentin 
I stopped 
what do you want 
in the woods the tree frogs were going smelling rain in the air they sounded like toy music boxes that were hard to turn and the honeysuckle 
come here 
what do you want 
come here Quentin 
I went back she touched my shoulder leaning down her shadow the blur of her face leaning down from his high shadow I drew back 
look out 
you go on home 
Im not sleepy Im going to take a walk 
wait for me at the branch 
Im going for a walk 
Ill be there soon wait for me you wait 
no Im going through the woods 
I didnt look back the tree frogs didnt pay me any mind the gray light like moss in the trees drizzling but still it wouldnt rain after a while I turned went back to the edge of the woods as soon as I got there I began to smell honeysuckle again I could see the lights on the courthouse clock and the glare of town the square on the sky and the dark willows along the branch and the light in mothers windows the light still on in Benjys room and I stooped through the fence and went across the pasture running I ran in the gray grass among the crickets the honeysuckle getting stronger and stronger and the smell of water then I could see the water the color of gray honeysuckle I lay down on the bank with my face close to the ground so I couldnt smell the honeysuckle I couldnt smell it then and I lay there feeling the earth going through my clothes listening to the water and after a while I wasnt breathing so hard and I lay there thinking that if I didnt move my face I wouldnt have to breathe hard and smell it and then I wasnt thinking about anything at all she came along the bank and stopped I didnt move 
its late you go on home 
what 
you go on home its late 
all right 
her clothes rustled I didnt move they stopped rustling 
are you going in like I told you 
I didnt hear anything 
Caddy 
yes I will if you want me to I will 
I sat up she was sitting on the ground her hands clasped about her knee 
go on to the house like I told you 
yes Ill do anything you want me to anything yes 
she didnt even look at me I caught her shoulder and shook her hard 
you shut up 
I shook her 
you shut up you shut up 
yes 
she lifted her face then I saw she wasnt even looking at me at all I could see that white rim 
get up 
I pulled her she was limp I lifted her to her feet 
go on now 
was Benjy still crying when you left 
go on 
we crossed the branch the roof came in sight then the windows upstairs 
hes asleep now 
I had to stop and fasten the gate she went on in the gray light the smell of rain and still it wouldnt rain and honey- suckle beginning to come from the garden fence beginning she went into the shadow I could hear her feet then 
Caddy 
I stopped at the steps I couldnt hear her feet 
Caddy 
I heard her feet then my hand touched her not warm not cool just still her clothes a little damp still 
do you love him now 
not breathing except slow like far away breathing 
Caddy do you love him now 
I dont know 
outside the gray light the shadows of things like dead 
things in stagnant water 
I wish you were dead 
do you you coming in now 
are you thinking about him now 
I dont know 
tell me what youre thinking about tell me 
stop stop Quentin 
you shut up you shut up you hear me you shut up are you going to shut up 
all right I will stop well make too much noise 
Ill kill you do you hear 
lets go out to the swing theyll hear you here 
Im not crying do you say Im crying 
no hush now well wake Benjy up 
you go on into the house go on now 
I am dont cry Im bad anyway you cant help it 
theres a curse on us its not our fault is it our fault 
hush come on and go to bed now 
you cant make me theres a curse on us 
finally I saw him he was just going into the barbershop he looked out I went on and waited 
Ive been looking for you two or three days 
you wanted to see me 
Im going to see you 
he rolled the cigarette quickly with about two motions he struck the match with his thumb 
we cant talk here suppose I meet you somewhere 
Ill come to your room are you at the hotel 
no thats not so good you know that bridge over the creek in there back of 
yes all right 
at one oclock right 
yes 
I turned away 
Im obliged to you 
look 
I stopped looked back 
she all right 
he looked like he was made out of bronze his khaki shirt 
she need me for anything now 
Ill be there at one 
she heard me tell T. P. to saddle Prince at one oclock she kept watching me not eating much she came too 
what are you going to do 
nothing cant I go for a ride if I want to 
youre going to do something what is it 
none of your business whore whore 
T. P. had Prince at the side door 
I wont want him Im going to walk 
I went down the drive and out the gate I turned into the lane then I ran before I reached the bridge I saw him leaning on the rail the horse was hitched in the woods he looked over his shoulder then he turned his back he didnt look up until I came onto the bridge and stopped he had a piece of bark in his hands breaking pieces from it and dropping them over the rail into the water 
I came to tell you to leave town 
he broke a piece of bark deliberately dropped it carefully into the water watched it float away 
I said you must leave town 
he looked at me 
did she send you to me 
I say you must go not my father not anybody I say it 
listen save this for a while I want to know if shes all right have they been bothering her up there 
thats something you dont need to trouble yourself about 
then I heard myself saying Ill give you until sundown to leave town 
he broke a piece of bark and dropped it into the water then he laid the bark on the rail and rolled a cigarette with those two swift motions spun the match over the rail 
what will you do if I dont leave 
Ill kill you dont think that just because I look like a kid to you 
the smoke flowed in two jets from his nostrils across his face 
how old are you 
I began to shake my hands were on the rail I thought if I hid them hed know why 
Ill give you until tonight 
listen buddy whets your name Benjys the natural isnt he 
Quentin 
my mouth said it I didnt say it at all 
Quentin 
he raked the cigarette ash carefully off against the rail he did it slowly and carefully like sharpening a Pencil my hands had quit shaking 
listen no good taking it so hard its not your fault kid it would have been some other fellow 
did you ever have a sister did you 
no but theyre all bitches 
I hit him my open hand beat the impulse to shut it to his face his hand moved as fast as mine the cigarette went over the rail I swung with the other hand he caught it too before the cigarette reached the water he held both my wrists in the same hand his other hand flicked to his armpit under his coat behind him the sun slanted and a bird sing ing somewhere beyond the sun we looked at one another while the bird singing he turned my hands loose 
look here 
he took the bark from the rail and dropped it into the water it bobbed up the current took it floated away his hand lay on the rail holding the pistol loosely we waited 
you cant hit it now 
no 
it floated on it was quite still in the woods I heard the bird again and the water afterward the pistol came up he didnt aim at all the bark disappeared then pieces of it floated up spreading he hit two more of them pieces of bark no bigger than silver dollars 
thats enough I guess 
he swung the cylinder out and blew into the barrel a thin wisp of smoke dissolved he reloaded the three chambers shut the cylinder he handed it to me butt first 
what for I wont try to beat that 
youll need it from what you said Im giving you this one because youve seen what itll do 
to hell with your gun 
I hit him I was still trying to hit him long after he was holding my wrists but I still tried then it was like I was looking at him through a piece of colored glass I could hear my blood and then I could see the sky again and branches against it and the sun slanting through them and he holding me on my feet 
did you hit me 
I couldnt hear 
what 
yes how do you feel 
all right let go 
he let me go I leaned against the rail 
do you feel all right 
let me alone Im all right 
can you make it home all right 
go on let me alone 
youd better not try to walk take my horse 
no you go on 
you can hang the reins on the pommel and turn him loose hell go back to the stable 
let me alone you go on and let me alone 
I leaned on the rail looking at the water I heard him untie the horse and ride off and after a while I couldnt hear anything but the water and then the bird again I left the bridge and sat down with my back against a tree and leaned my head against the tree and shut my eyes a Patch of sun came through and fell across my eyes and I moved a little further around the tree I heard the bird again and the water and then everything sort of rolled away and I didnt feel anything at all I felt almost good after all those days and the nights with honeysuckle coming up out of the darkness into my room where I was trying to sleep even when after a while I knew that he hadnt hit me that he had lied about that for her sake too and that I had just passed out like a girl but even that didnt matter anymore and I sat there against the tree with little flecks of sunlight brushing across my face like yellow leaves on a twig listening to the water and not thinking about anything at all even when I heard the horse coming fast I sat there with my eyes closed and heard its feet bunch scuttering the hissing sand and feet running and her hard running hands 
fool fool are you hurt 
I opened my eyes her hands running on my face 
I didnt know which way until I heard the pistol I didnt know where I didnt think he and you running off slipping I didnt think he would have 
she held my face between her hands bumping my head against the tree 
stop stop that 
I caught her wrists 
quit that quit it 
I knew he wouldnt I knew he wouldnt 
she tried to bump my head against the tree 
I told him never to speak to me again I told him 
she tried to break her wrists free 
let me go 
stop it Im stronger than you stop it now 
let me go Ive got to catch him and ask his let me go Quentin please let me go let me go 
all at once she quit her wrists went lax 
yes I can tell him I can make him believe anytime I can make him 
Caddy 
she hadnt hitched Prince he was liable to strike out for home if the notion took him 
anytime he will believe me 
do you love him Caddy 
do I what 
she looked at me then everything emptied out of her eyes 
and they looked like the eyes in statues blank and unseeing and serene 
put your hand against my throat 
she took my hand and held it flat against her throat 
now say his name 
Dalton Ames 
I felt the first surge of blood there it surged in strong accelerating beats 
say it again 
her face looked off into the trees where the sun slanted and where the bird 
say it again 
Dalton Ames 
her blood surged steadily beating and beating against my hand 
      It dept on running for a long time, but my face felt cold and sort of dead, and my eye, and the cut place on my finger was smarting again. I could hear Shreve working the pump, then he came back with the basin and a round blob of twilight wobbling in it, with a yellow edge like a fading balloon, then my reflection. I tried to see my face in it. 
     "Has it stopped?" Shreve said. "Give me the rag." He tried to take it from my hand. 
     "Look out," I said. "I can do it. Yes, it's about stopped now." I dipped the rag again, breaking the balloon. The rag stained the water. "I wish I had a clean one." 
     "You need a piece of beefsteak for that eye," Shreve said. "Damn if you wont have a shiner tomorrow. The son of a bitch," he said. 
     "Did I hurt him any?" I wrung out the handkerchief and tried to clean the blood off of my vest. 
     "You cant get that off," Shreve said. "You'll have to send it to the cleaner's. Come on, hold it on your eye, why dont you. 
     "I can get some of it off," I said. But I wasn't doing much good. "What sort of shape is my collar in?" 
     "I dont know," Shreve said. "Hold it against your eye. Here." 
     "Look out," I said. "I can do it. Did I hurt him any?" 
     "You may have hit him. I may have looked away just then or blinked or something. He boxed the hell out of you. He boxed you all over the place. What did you want to fight him with your fists for? You goddam fool. How do you feel?" 
     "I feel fine," I said. "I wonder if I can get something to clean my vest." 
     "Oh, forget your damn clothes. Does your eye hurt?" 
     "I feel fine," I said. Everything was sort of violet and still, the sky green paling into gold beyond the gable of the house and a plume of smoke rising from the chimney without any wind. I heard the pump again. A man was filling a pail, watching us across his pumping shoulder. A woman crossed the door, but she didn't look out. I could hear a cow lowing somewhere. 
     "Come on," Shreve said. "Let your clothes alone and put that rag on your eye. I'll send your suit out first thing tomorrow." 
     "All right. I'm sorry I didn't bleed on him a little, at least." 
     "Son of a bitch," Shreve said. Spoade came out of the house, talking to the woman I reckon, and crossed the yard. He looked at me with his cold, quizzical eyes. 
     "Well, bud," he said, looking at me, "I'll be damned if you dont go to a lot of trouble to have your fun. Kidnapping, then fighting. What do you do on your holidays? burn houses?" 
     "I'm all right," I said. "What did Mrs Bland say?" 
     "She's giving Gerald hell for bloodying you up. She'll give you hell for letting him, when she sees you. She dont object to the fighting, it's the blood that annoys her. I think you lost caste with her a little by not holding your blood better. How do you feel?" 
     "Sure," Shreve said. "If you cant be a Bland, the next best thing is to commit adultery with one or get drunk and fight him, as the case may be."