The Source: Book III of the Holding Kate Series (28 page)

When the pain hit its peak, a moan escaped her and crescendoed into a wail that she couldn’t stop. It tore out of her with a mind and will of its own. Her head told her to stop, but her soul was in control of her actions and released the unbearable pain the only way it could. Terror overtook her, that she was finally losing her mind.

“Corey!” The wail formed words. “Corey!”

Screams gurgled through her throat, she couldn’t stop them. Unhinged and fearing for her own sanity, Kate ripped the covers off the bed and jumped onto the cold stone floor.

She ran.

Blinded by tears, she slapped the castle floor with her bare feet until she found the door, threw it open and ran into the courtyard. The gate was ajar so she dashed through it and fled toward the hills. She had no thought of escaping Greg, she was not a prisoner. She ran to escape the reality of Corey’s rejection.

Bare feet skittered through the manicured lawn, and her elegant sleep gown trailed through the streams and puddles as she splashed on. When groomed lawns ended, she mowed through high grasses and crashed through dense bracken. She sprinted into the cover of a copse of trees, the needles and deciduous droppings gouging into her tender feet. Any pain was preferable to the gaping wound in her chest.

The forest began to close in, trapping her, thickening with branches, bushes, and thorns. She slashed at the assailing limbs blindly, tearing the soft flesh of her arms. Still she pressed forward, escaping the agony of stillness.

She broke out of the forest and bolted up a hill. Jagged rocks tore into her feet and ripped her nails. Climbing toward the peak, she stumbled and slipped. Gashes striped her knees and elbows. Her ripped and soiled gown snagged on rocks, protesting her ascent. Each fall pulverized her limbs as razor sharp shale and toothsome stones sliced into her flesh.

Still she ran.

Scrambling and clawing to the top of the hill, she teetered to a stop. A precipice yawned beneath her and she staggered and struggled for balance, gazing into the rocky depths far below. She was out of room, out of breath, and out of strength. There was nowhere to go anyway.

Collapsing to the stony ground, she screamed into the dirt. The heartrending sound tore from her throat in serrated ripples, the sound description of her soul.

She cried herself into a catatonic state and then just lay there staring into the rising sun, without the will to do anything else.

Breathe.

Ache.

Cry.

Stare.

The chain of states rotated through her in a cyclic whirlwind, never ceasing.

No relief.

No rescue.

No one to protect her from this horror.

A shadow fell across her face and she turned her expressionless eyes onto the cause of the shade. Gregory’s face collapsed into a painful grimace as he gazed down on her battered, bruised, and bleeding body.

A groan escaped his lips. “Kate, my love.” He bent down and scooped her into his arms, pressed her against his chest, and began the long trek back to the castle.

Kate nestled her head into his chest, and tears cut rivulets through the caked dirt on her cheeks. He was strong. He loved her. He wanted her.

She would never love again. But she would not spurn Gregory’s affection. She would never return it, but she would not reject him the way she had been rejected.

No one should have to feel this, ever.

He hummed and crooned into her hair through the long walk back to her new home—Oh! How her soul ached!—he kissed the top of her head and spoke softly, words of comfort, calming, soothing words.

When they reached the castle, he carried her to her chambers, set her on the bench beside the tub, and called Janaki to come tend to her wounds.

She allowed the matron’s administrations, barely flinching when Janaki scrubbed her wounds and combed the brambles out of her hair. Despondent, lethargic, Kate allowed Janaki to dress her and pin her hair into an elaborate up-do. She allowed herself to be led to the dining room and she sat in front of the place setting, staring into the flames of the massive hearth. She might have pushed the food around on her plate, she wasn’t sure.

Gregory escorted her back to her room and Janaki changed her into a night gown, took down her hair and tucked her in.

Kate stared at the silk hangings above her until sleep claimed her, and agony found a new release in her nightmares. She woke up screaming after one particularly disturbing dream where Corey and Najwa were making love in her field of fireflies. She waited until her heartbeat slowed again then noticed a shadow cast across her drapes.

She peered into the moonlight and saw Gregory pacing outside her room along the balcony, keeping vigil. She fell back asleep, secure in the feeling of being watched over.

Corey held a wheat stem in his hand and ran it down her neck, between her breasts to her navel. He turned his head and spoke to another woman lying beside him, her dark skin glistening in the over bright sunlight.

“Najwa, you are the one I choose, now.” He leaned down and kissed her.

Pain laced through Kate at his betrayal, but when he turned and spoke to her, her heart leapt with joy. “I have loved you for a thousand years, my Kate.”

“I will love you for thousands more…” Her spoken voice woke her from the dream.

A feeling of sheer bliss permeated her being and she drew in air for the first time in what seemed an eternity. Corey loved her?

No. Wait. Najwa.

Then reality settled over her. Corey does not love her. The nightmare left her heart ripped to shreds, but the living, waking nightmare was even worse. In the real world, Corey did not love her at all. Only Najwa.

She buried her face into her pillow and screamed until the agony monster hid herself away for a moment.

Kate turned over and gazed at the elaborately folded pleats in the canopy. They spiraled out to cascade over the sides of the bed, just like a sphere.

A sphere.

Kate jumped out of bed, threw on her clothes, and ran to the common area between her room and Greg’s room on the opposite corner. He sat at a desk tapping on a console when she whisked around the corner.

“Greg. I have to see.”

He looked up from his work and nodded. “I knew you would come to me, eventually.”

“I have to see them with my own eyes.” Kate wrestled her fingers together. “I can’t move on until I know.”

“Of course, Kate. You have access to anything you need or desire. But I implore you, the images will only cause you pain. You will not be able to ever undo them. They will be burned into your mind for eternity. I can’t stand the thought of you suffering.”

“I have to see. It can’t be worse than my nightmares.”

“Oh Kate.” Gregory shook his head sadly as if to argue that point. “Very well. Come with me.”

He held out his hand and Kate stepped forward uncertainly. He led her into an attached room without windows.

“You must let me comfort you, when this is over.” He reached up and stroked her cheek tenderly.

Kate stared at the floor.

“Do you understand how this works?”

Kate shook her head.

“There are junctions in the quantum stream, moments when decisions are made that turn the timeline into a different direction.”

Kate nodded.

“Only the junctions—the moments of significant decision—cause enough ripple that they can be captured, recorded.” He touched her chin and turned it toward him. “Do you understand?”

“You can’t show me everything, only those moments when significant decisions are made.”

“Exactly. Are you sure about this Kate, dear?”

“I must know.” She pressed her palms together.

Gregory activated the wall.

Kate’s eyes widened as he scrolled through what seemed infinite sphere moments. Kate caught her own image as it flashed by with thousands of others. Gregory held out his hand and touched the stream. It slowed and he selected the image he was searching for. It moved forward and expanded to full size.

Corey and Najwa walked along the streets of Spear Cathair, her arm tucked into the crook of his. Their faces were long and tired. Sadness seemed to accompany them. They stopped in front of Najwa’s home and stood talking for a moment. Then Najwa broke into sobs and fell into Corey’s arms. He held her and patted her back while they both cried. Kate cringed as she watched Najwa press her voluptuous curves into Corey’s body. Najwa tilted her head up to Corey’s and leaned forward to kiss him.

Gregory stopped the image. Kate looked away, nauseated. She was thankful that Greg stopped the image. She couldn’t bear to see them kissing. She sank into a chair unable to steady her legs.

Greg scrolled through the wall again and selected another image. Corey came out of their bedroom buttoning his shirt and speaking with a seductive grin on his face. Najwa turned around, smiled at him and wrapped her arm around his shoulder possessively and drew him to the table where she had laid out his favorite breakfast. He laughed and ate while she preened and jutted out her womanly parts.

Kate bit down on the inside of her cheek.
IN MY OWN HOME!
She began bouncing her foot.

Greg scrolled forward and the image of Corey and Eunavae in the lab zoomed forward. Najwa walked in, and held up some tubing to Corey, then walked over and hugged him from behind. She pressed her body against his and kissed his neck.

The next image was Najwa dumping Stealthlin over a cliff and looking around slyly.

Gregory again scrolled through the wall and the image of Najwa standing naked at the foot of Corey’s bed took center stage. She smiled seductively and began to walk toward him.

“Okay!” Kate yelped and closed her eyes. “Okay! Enough!” She doubled over and choked out sobs of suffocating pain.

Gregory paused the image, ran over to Kate and caught her in his arms as she fell out of the chair. He went to his knees and held her against his chest. Kate gasped for air and opened her eyes, through tear stained lashes she stared at the image of Najwa, naked in her bedroom, seducing her husband.

“No,” she whimpered and clutched Gregory’s clothes in an attempt to hold onto reality.

COREY STOOD AMONG
the gathered teams in the commons after three days of preparing, packing, and securing supplies of vaccine. It was jumping day. They had set up times for each team to appear with their supplies and jump, but everyone showed up an hour before the first jump to say goodbyes.