The Space Between Us (17 page)

  
Eventually, though, the tears stopped and my breathing returned to normal. I turned my head to look at my father and was surprised and ashamed to see tears on his face as well. I didn't even notice he was crying. I sat up and wrapped my arms around his neck.

  
“Don't cry, Dad. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to upset you. I just wasn't prepared for any of this.”

  
“Trust me, I didn't want you to find out this way.” He paused and squeezed me a little tighter. “I thought you'd come home and I could introduce you properly. I thought we'd all sit around and eat dinner and you'd see how wonderful Angie is.” I felt his hand smooth over my hair. “Please don't let this get in the way of getting to know her, Charlie. She's a wonderful woman.”

  
I pulled away from him and wiped my tears from my face. The longer we sat here and talked about the woman who I assumed was in the other room, the sillier I began to feel about the whole scenario.

  
“Dad, stop. I am sure she's amazing. I can't imagine you spending time with anyone who wasn't. Honestly,” I said through a sniffle, still trying to hold back the cries that are trying to take over. “I'm not upset that you're dating. I knew that would happen. I just didn't expect...” Another sob broke free and I let it come, crying into my hands. “I didn't expect to see a woman standing in our house wearing mom's apron.”

  
“Oh, Baby,” he said as he pulled me into him. I snuggled into his chest, trying to keep the crying at bay. “No one is ever going to take your mother's place. Not in your life and not in my heart. I love your mother and I always will. I am sorry that what you saw upset you and I can totally understand why. So will Angie when we explain it to her. Everything you're feeling is valid, Charlie Bear. It's ok.” I took a few deep breaths and they sounded shaky even to me.

  
“How do you always know the right thing to say, Dad?”

  
“I generally just try to speak the truth.”

  
“Well, it worked. Thank you. I am sorry I got so upset.” He opened his mouth to argue with me but I put my hand up to stop him. “I know what you're going to say, Dad. I'm not apologizing for how I feel, I'm apologizing for how I acted. She didn't deserve that.” He looked down at me and I saw the corners of his mouth turn up just a little.

  
“Charlie, I am so proud to be your dad.” At that, we both smiled at each other.

  
“Good. Now give me five minutes to get myself under control and I would love to come and meet your girlfriend.” He leaned down and kissed my temple.

  
“We will be in the kitchen when you're ready.” I watched him stand up and walk out of my bedroom. I took a few more breaths, just making sure I really was in control of myself. I went to the bathroom, splashed some cool water on my face, and fixed the makeup that had been ruined by the epic breakdown I'd just endured. When I felt put back together and not on the verge of another emotional upheaval, I started towards the kitchen. My dad and Angie sat at the dining table, both had mugs in front of them, and Dad's arm rested on the back of her chair. With my head held high and a genuine smile on my face, I walked over to the table.

  
“Hi, Angie.” I held my hand out to her, hoping she would take it. She reached out tentatively, but returned my smile. “I am sorry about the way I behaved earlier. I was just taken by surprise. I promise that I don't always act like that and I hope I didn't ruin my only chance at making a good impression.” Her smile grew wider and she shook my hand gently.

  
“I'm so happy to meet you, Charlie. Your dad has told me such wonderful things about you.”

  
I laugh a little because I knew it was true. “He's biased. You can only trust him about half of the stuff he must have told you. Unfortunately, Dad hasn't told me anything about you, besides your name and that you're dating.” I shot my Dad a playful glare.

  
“I didn't want to tell you over the phone, Charlie. Maybe if you'd come home at all in the last three months we could have done this the right way.”

  
“I, for one, say we all just forget that the last hour even happened and just have a nice dinner getting to know each other.” I tried to be a real and true grown up, tried to put my feelings aside and be strong for my dad. I didn’t want him to be unhappy and Angie really did seem like a nice woman.

  
“Deal,” Angie said with a smile.

  
The three of us spent the next two hours eating a delicious meal Angie made, talking, laughing, and generally moving on from an awkward first meeting. I really liked her and I could tell my dad liked her too. It didn't go unnoticed by me that my dad's hand was on her thigh under the table, but it didn't bother me either. I've never wanted my dad to be lonely, and I hoped he was single all those years because he wasn't ready to date, not because he felt I would be bothered by it. It's been almost eight years since we lost mom. It was time for dad to find someone to be happy with again.

  
“How long have you guys been seeing each other?” I asked Angie.

  
“Well, we met in the middle of October, but didn't start seeing each other really until November. So, almost two months.”

  
“What you are saying, then, is that you’re still in the honeymoon stage of your relationship? So that means Dad is still on his very best behavior and hasn't given you the real insight into some of his more irritating habits.”

  
“Charlie,” my dad warned. I shot him my most mischievous smile.

  
“Dad, let Angie and me bond!” I said to him, turning to Angie I rest my elbow on the tabletop and place my chin on my fist.

  
“Have you witnessed his obsessive dishwashing tendencies?” I asked, thoroughly interested.

  
“Oh, you mean how he has to
wash
the dishes before he puts them in the dish
washer
? Yes, we've had this discussion. And what about his thing with towels?”

  
“You mean how he can only use a towel once? I don't know where that came from. His parents think it's weird too, so he didn't get it from them. Have you met Grammy and Pappy yet?”

  
“No, not yet. Your dad was hoping I would get to meet them on Christmas. You know, if it was ok with you that I tagged along for Christmas.” I could tell she was nervous about asking me that, and it made me feel better about the whole situation that she was sensitive to the fact.

  
“If Dad wants you at Christmas, I want you at Christmas,” I said simply. I saw Angie let out a small sigh of relief and my dad smiled. Just then I heard my phone ping. Pulling it out of my pocket I saw a text from Asher.

**Hey Bit. Can I come over?**

   “Dad?”

  
“Yeah?”

  
“I'm so glad we've all grown since I've been away at college.”

  
“Uh, me too, Charlie,” he said, obviously confused.

  
“We're all adults, right?” I asked, keeping a straight face and a level voice.

  
“Yes. I suppose so. Why?”

  
“Well, Asher is going to come over here in a few minutes and he's going to sleep over. Since we're all adults, I thought I would let you know instead of trying to sneak him in after you've gone to sleep.” I was like stone, keeping my facial expressions even and expectant.

  
“Charlie, I'm not comfortable with that.”

  
“Dad, I'm not going to lie to you. Asher and I spend most nights together at school. You know I love him and you also know that he loves me. Keeping us apart is pointless. Neither one of us is a child anymore and I guess I would appreciate it if you treated me like the responsible adult you raised me to be.” Dad looked absolutely flabbergasted. And to my ultimate surprise and delight, Angie leaned over to speak into Dad's ear. I heard her speak softly to him.

  
“She's a good girl. He'll be over after you go to sleep anyway if you refuse.” I smiled at her because it was true. Dad let out the biggest and loudest sigh I'd ever heard. He was not use to being outnumbered by women.

  
“Fine, but your door stays open.” I laughed out loud because it was ridiculous that he would request that, but I agreed.

***Come on over
and bring your sleeping clothes. Dad said you could stay the night.***

***I knew your dad was a reasonable man.***

   “Thanks, Papa Bear.” I got up from the table and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

  
“You do not get to call me Papa Bear after you invite your boyfriend to stay the night.”

  
I used both my hands to cup his stubble-shadowed face. “You'll always be my Papa Bear, Daddy.”

   Christmas break passed without much excitement.  My dad begrudgingly allowed Asher to stay over at our house, but we made sure Asher never left my room until after Dad had left for work.  No need to have awkward run-ins in the bathroom.  We both pretended like nothing out of the
ordinary was going on, even though it was like there was a giant pink elephant in the room no one wanted to address. 

   Asher and I attempted, at first, to be quiet and still enjoy our time together
, but I quickly realized sex in the same house my father was sleeping in was a huge turn off.  I developed a new appreciation for late-night snuggling and sleepy, morning sex.  Asher, Reeve, and I spent our days together, catching up with other friends who had come home for break.  We went to a few parties and it was good to see some people from high school, but I found myself feeling like I was over the whole scene.  Parties with people I went to high school with felt, well, like high school. 

   Towards the end of our two weeks at home, Asher and I opted to spend evenin
gs on the couch watching movies or playing board games with Reeve.  It was relaxing and turned out to be the best way to spend our break from school.

   My Dad gave me a shiny new laptop for Christmas
, which I loved.  Angie was really sweet and gave me a very cool pair of knee-high boots and a few blouses that were very cute.  I was touched by her thoughtfulness and impressed with her taste in fashion.  She joined us for a dinner a few times over break.  I really enjoyed getting to know her and watching as my dad grew more and more comfortable being affectionate with her as the weeks went on.  It was as if he was inching into a cold pool, trying to acclimate to the water, trying not to offend or upset me by their PDA.  I appreciated the concern, but also found that I wasn’t bothered by their being together as much as I would have guessed.  I liked Angie and I liked how happy my dad was with her.

   On Christmas Eve
, Asher took me out on a date and made sure that it was a surprise as to where we were going.

  “If you don’t stop asking me where we’re going I might have to gag you,” he said as he na
vigated the snow-filled streets in his truck.

   “You know I don’t really like surprises much,” I complained.

   “Well, I think you’re going to like this one,” he said with a smile.  How could I resist his handsome face when he smiled?  I couldn’t.  I smiled too.  We drove for another forty-five minutes, driving us farther and farther from civilization and out into the country.  I was sure there was nothing out here that I would be excited about.  Finally, he pulled onto a road that seemed relatively unused and we bumped around in his truck as it plowed over snow that had freshly fallen.  The road disappeared under the snow and we were now just driving into oblivion.

   “Where are we going?”  I asked him nervously.

   “Don’t worry, Bit.  I got you,” he said as he shot me a smirk.  His truck came to a stop and I narrowed my eyes trying to see where we had ended up.  All I saw was snow directly in front of us, but a little farther up I could see someone standing next to something I couldn’t quite make out.  Asher turned towards me.  “You ready for your surprise?”  I smiled because he was so excited.

   “Yes?”  I giggled, this all seemed
a little silly, but I loved it.  He hopped out of his side of the truck and came around to open my door for me.  The thrill that ran through me when he put his hands on my waist to help me down never went away and would never get old.  He had magical hands and they did magical things to me.  He took my hand and led me towards the man standing in the middle of what I could only imagine was a field covered by snow.  The closer we got the easier it was to figure out what was going on.  “Asher?”

   “Yes?”  I heard his answer but also felt it as he leaned down and whispered it in my ear.

   “Did you drive me out into the middle of nowhere to take me on a horse-drawn carriage ride?”

   “I did, indeed.”

   “Really?”  He nodded at me.  I never expressed a need or a want to take a ride on a carriage pulled by a horse, mainly because I guess I assumed these types of things only happened in movies.  Surely not in real life would you happen upon a carriage waiting to take you on a romantic ride through the snow.  “
Really
really?”