The Spice of Life (The Transformation #1) (10 page)

I arrived to her room, and knocked on the door.  She immediately jumped out of the room, pulled me inside and gave me the biggest hug. Felt amazing. I held her tight, feeling the pain that she had just gone through. Almost immediately, she went to her knees, and unbuttoned my ripped jeans.

“Commando, mmmmmm. I need to taste you, Jake, I want to taste your juices. Please fuck my face, I want to take your full load inside my mouth.”

I grabbed her hair, and slowly guided her, having her stroke me up and down my shaft, feeling her throat, and cheeks, alternating the speed, thrust, and position.

“I don’t cum easy babe, so let me do this for you, I don’t have a ton of time,” I told her. I hit her mouth with the perfect spot of my cock, the only spot that makes me cum. Pulling her head backwards, and fucking her sexy mouth deep, I was starting to get larger and thicker, and I watched as her eyes teared a bit, anxious with excitement. I exploded hard, viciously inside her mouth deep, all the juices poured down her throat. She anxiously continued to suck every drop from my cock.

“Rachelle, you are amazing,” I sighed.

She kept sucking, but more slowly this time, taking every drop, and finished.  “Jake, I will always be indebted to you, and YOU can fuck me ANYTIME. Just text me when you are in town or in LA.”

I nodded, kissed her and left. She really felt indebted and was serious about remaining friends forever.

“I can see why!” Kelli commented. “You stood up for her and helped her get out of an unhealthy relationship. That counts for a lot, you know.” Again, she couldn’t help but think of her own terrible marriage to Paul. If only she could break free, too. She stole a glance at Jake and wondered if he would ever be able to help her like he had helped Rachelle.

Jake smiled at her. “Crazy weekend, huh?” he chuckled. “I’m not going to pretend that they are all this eventful, but this one was pretty hectic. But I’m here now, with you.”

He paused for a second, then continued, “I see that you are wearing what I asked you to wear. Good. Why don’t you stand up and turn around so I can see it?”

As if under the influence of a drug, Kelli slowly rose, obediently and wordlessly, and turned in a slow circle. When she returned to her original position, she saw that Jake’s eyes were smoldering appreciatively. She could hardly look away from him. She remained standing, until he spoke again.

He set his folded tie on the table next to his chair and continued. “You may sit down now, Kelli. Now, what were you saying?”

She sat, caught her breath and began again, struggling to keep what she hoped was a professional tone. “So, um, this is our first session, so, uh, you’ve filled me in on your weekend. Now, why don’t you…why don’t you tell me about what happened in your marriage? How did things start to go wrong?” As she heard the words come out of her mouth she realized that she sounded meek, shaky and uncertain, like a little girl. Jake seemed to have that effect on her.

He, on the other hand, continued to be completely relaxed and in control. He waited for a moment or two and then began to speak.

“I married young. I met my wife a few years after college when I was really getting settled into my career. She was pretty, we came from similar backgrounds, had compatible interests, and it seemed like we had a real connection. So after about eight months of dating, I asked her to marry me. I know now that it was a terrible mistake. Looking back, I realize that all the signs were there. Even when we were dating, the sex wasn’t great – fairly infrequent, in fact – but I thought that it was just because she was inexperienced and a bit shy. I was sure that once we were man and wife, she would loosen up and we would be able to explore our sexuality together, and discover true intimacy.”

Kelli was feeling incredibly sympathetic. She knew exactly what he meant; this sounded so much like her sexless marriage to Paul. Jake paused, before resuming.

“It’s very important for you to know that it really is about intimacy, in the end…the dynamic connection between two human beings that occurs in mind-blowing sex.

Anyway, I soon realized after our wedding day that the sex wasn’t going to get better after all. In fact, it soon dried up completely. And I do mean
completely
. In our first six months of marriage, we made love less than ten times. At least three of those were on our honeymoon. In the next year or so after that, she let me approach her sexually on two or three special occasions. And the following full year, our third year of marriage, we had sex once, on my birthday. That was it.

I soon came to realize, to my sorrow, that my wife was…is, I should say… asexual, with virtually no libido or interest in sexual activity. At first I hated her for it, but eventually I understood that she was born that way. She is simply not a sexual creature, in spite of her beauty. Once I saw that this was the case, I couldn’t remain angry. For quite a few years, I really thought that I would leave her; I even made plans to do so on several occasions. But in the end, I just couldn’t do it. In her own way she loves me, and I love her as I would love a sister, or a dear friend. She is very sweet and kind at times, but there simply is no hint of physicality between us.”

Jake paused again and took a sip of water from the glass sitting at his elbow. A few moments of silence elapsed.

Kelli was amazed at his story so far, and the similarities between his marriage and her own. She found herself needing to hear more, so she leaned forward and asked, “So when did the affairs start? Tell me about that.”

Jake continued….

“I still remember the moment when I decided to have an affair. We had been married for 10 years at that point, and I had fully realized that my wife would not, and could not be a true sexual partner. However, while I chose to remain in the marriage, I was starting to suffer tremendously. One day, I was walking down the street and saw a beautiful woman in front of me: tall, blond, voluptuous, with long legs in a short skirt. I got an immediate hard-on, one that was so huge and strong that it was physically painful. It had been so long since I had any sexual release, other than my own hand in the shower every day; that I almost came right then and there. I literally wanted to walk up behind this woman, lift her skirt, and take her right there in public, on the street. My sexual feeling and desire for connection was so intense and ravenous that I knew I had to do something about it, or else I was going to go crazy.

I went straight back to the house I shared with my wife, and jerked off on the couch. I remember my wife was gone, at some yoga class or something…and I literally pleasured myself so hard that I was actually sore and chafed afterwards. More than just the physical sensation, though, seeing that woman made me realize how much I missed and craved sexual intimacy. That was what was absent from my marriage…the incredible connection and intimacy that comes through raw, passionate sexual encounters with another human being. Jerking off had become something that I had to do on a physical level – just to remain sane – but really it wasn’t fulfilling anymore. What I really needed was to touch someone else’s soul, as I possessed her body.

In other words, masturbation wasn’t cutting it anymore. So once I had spent myself completely, I cracked open my computer and did a search for, “how to have an affair in New Jersey.” I had absolutely no idea what would come up, but I figured it would be something! Maybe a “How to…” list, or a meet-up group, or something. Anything. I was desperate, at that point. I was absolutely amazed at what came up. There were pages and pages of results…testimonials, support groups, and best of all, websites that were devoted specifically to meeting other people who were married, but wanting to enrich their sexual experiences.”

Kelli was feeling very odd. How was it possible that his story could so closely mirror her own? While listening to Jake, she was trying to think back to their conversation at the bar.
Had she mentioned anything about going online?
She didn’t think so…the more that she thought about it, the more certain she became that she definitely had not discussed her online forays with him.
How could he have had such a similar experience?
Jake’s voice brought her back with a start as she realized what he was saying next…

“So, I looked at a few different sites, and found one in particular that seemed very promising. It was called www.tsol.xxx, and at first glance, it seemed to have just the type of women on it that I was interested in meeting.”

At this, Kelli was so startled that she nearly jumped right out of her chair.
OK. This was too weird. Way, way too weird.
Not only was Jake’s experience the same as her own, but he had actually gone to the
very same website?
This was too bizarre. A sudden suspicion took ahold of her and she couldn’t hold it in any more.

“Did Nina put you up to this?” she blurted out.

Jake stopped mid-sentence and looked at her closely. She couldn’t be sure, but it seemed like there was genuine surprise in his eyes. There was also some more of that hidden steel that she had seen earlier.

“Excuse me?” he said. His tone was soft, yet there was also the faintest hint of annoyance, almost like a warning.

“This is a joke, right? Nina told you?” Kelli was feeling less and less sure of herself.

Jake looked blankly at her. “Nina? Your friend from the bar? Told me what, exactly, Kelli?” He seemed genuinely astounded at her question.

Now she was completely confused, as well as embarrassed. From his reaction, it was obvious that he had no idea what she was talking about. But this also meant that his story must be completely true! Kelli had never felt so bewildered. She tried to cover up her blunder, and let out a nervous little laugh.

“Never mind, never mind. It’s nothing. Just, something in what you were saying…never mind. I’m sorry. Carry on.”

There was a moment of strained silence, with Jake still gazing intently at her. Kelli thought that she noticed an odd expression flicker across his face, but she couldn’t quite identify it.

The moment seemed to go on forever, but just when Kelli felt like she couldn’t handle the silence any longer, Jake simply resumed where he’d left off, much to her relief.

“When I first went on the website, I wasn’t the man that you see before you today. In fact, I was significantly out of shape, overweight, and put very little stock into my appearance. I wasn’t always that way…but you have to understand that my sexless marriage with its lack of passion or desire had really knocked the wind out of me. I had very little sexual confidence left in me at that point. It’s strange how it works for a man…even though I knew on an intellectual level that it was my wife’s problem, and that she simply had no libido to spend on me, part of me was still deeply wounded and affected by her sexual rejection. As a result, I had really let myself go. I suppose it was a way for me to protect myself.

Anyway, because I had allowed myself to hide behind excess weight and sloppiness, I spent a month or so on the website before I even met anyone really interesting. But then I had some experiences that seemed really empty, and just based in that same old physical thing…almost like masturbating, with very little intimacy and connection. The lack of passion, combined with the stress of my working life almost caused me to quit the site, right then and there. It just seemed pointless. However, around that time, I met Mai Ling…”

With the mention of “Mai Ling”, a new tone came into Jake’s voice, and Kelli quickly glanced up at him. He had an expression on his face that seemed to be halfway between lust and tenderness. Clearly Mai Ling was someone important.

“Who was Mai Ling?” she asked.

Jake smiled, mysteriously. “Ah. Mai Ling comes later. You don’t get to hear about Mai Ling today,” he responded firmly. “Today is for other things.”

“Other things?”

“Yes. You haven’t asked me at all about my childhood. Isn’t that supposed to be an important part of any therapy session?” His tone was serious, but his green eyes twinkled.

Part of Kelli, the part that was used to arguing with Paul, wanted to point out that this hadn’t exactly been a typical therapy session so far. But something about Jake, something in his presence, caused her to hold back. She felt shy around him, like he was an authority figure. She should have been the one in control, but it didn’t feel that way.

She smiled back at him. “Ok, then. You’re right. It would be good for me to know a little bit more about you…about where you come from and what makes you who you are. Why don’t you tell me about that?”

He took another sip of water, and spoke again.

“Well, I started my life in the big city, was born in Jersey City. The city has a lot to do with who I am. My younger brother and I were born in an apartment building, but moved out when I was very young, just five or six, because of something that had happened there. That event is one of my very earliest memories and it affected my life in a powerful way.”

“What happened?” Kelli asked.

“I saw a man die. And while he died, he looked right at me.”

Kelli was mesmerized, and a little bit shocked. “Can you tell me a little bit more about that? How did it affect you? For a young child to see something like that…”

“What I remember most is his eyes. I didn’t see pain there, or even fear. It was like he was looking straight through me, to the bottom of my being. And somehow, something in me answered him. As if this big, strapping black guy, and me, this little Greek/German kid were brothers. That’s really what it was like. Like he was my brother. In that moment, I think that I really understood mortality for the first time.