The Stable Boy (21 page)

“I don’t know if that is it or if I am more afraid of losing him in an accident like I did my husband.”

“You’re afraid of giving yourself fully to someone just to lose them. I hate to tell you, Claire, but you love this guy. That is what love is. It instills fear in you. You may not want to admit to it, but you have fallen for him just as much as he has for you,” she said with a smile as we heard laughter coming from the porch. We looked out the window to see Rich and Josh shake hands and give a quick embrace. We smiled as they come into the house.

“Rich just asked me to be his best man,” said Josh to me.

“I am going to guess by the laughter we heard that you said yes.”

“I sure did. How could I not?”

“That is great.”

“It truly is,” said Rich. “I would not have asked another person to do it.”

“Thanks, Rich. Let me know when I need to go for the fitting and I will be there.”

“I will do that. What have you two ladies been talking about?”

“Tomorrow,” we say in unison.

“Oh,” Rich said. “Claire, I did not know you were going with them. I knew that Vanessa was going.”

“Yes, Vanessa, Alison and I are all going.”

“That could definitely be trouble,” Rich said looking at Josh.

“The only one I know that is trouble is Vanessa. I don’t know the rest of the ladies well enough to know for sure,” he said looking at me. There was a passing questioning look between Angelica and Rich. All I could think of was ‘Shit.’

“Trust me when I tell you that Alison is trouble when she is out. I have heard the stories. Claire on the other hand has always been the designated driver.”

“Yes, I have. I tend to keep the others trouble making abilities to a minimum, if at all possible. Your sister is a little easier to reign in than Alison.”

“I am sure she is,” laughed Rich. “You ready to go, babe?”

“Yes, I am,” Angelica cooed. “I will see you tomorrow. Josh it is always a pleasure. Thank you for making Rich’s day.”

“You’re welcome and the pleasure is all mine,” Josh said. They walk out of the house hand in hand. I watch them get into their car and drive off before I turn my attention to Josh.

“You need to stop staring at me the way you do in front of other people.”

“What did I do?”

“The way you looked at me when you said you did not know the other women well enough to know about them being trouble made Rich look at Angelica like he just realized there is something going on between us.”

“Shit,” he said. “I am sorry for that. I just can’t help it. You captivate me, Claire. You have from the moment I showed up on your front door.”

“Thank you for the compliment, but since this is between us and Alison at the moment, you need to be aware of how you look at me.”

“I will do my best to try and control it until you allow me to tell everyone in ear shot that you are with me and I am with you.”

“Okay,” I said smiling as he made his way over to me.

“Now, where were we?” he asked as his lips brushed mine. Goosebumps rose over every inch of my skin. My nipples immediately regained their erect position. He grabbed my hand and led me past the front door, locking it. I laughed.

“You do know that Alison has a key, right?’

“Well call her and tell her you will be indisposed of for the rest of the night?”

“Rest of the night? You do know that it is only five in the afternoon.”

“I plan to ravish you the rest of the night,” he said with a smirk.

“Well that sounds promising.”

“Oh, I promise it will be an experience.”

“Hmmm,” I cooed. He led me back to his bedroom. Closing the door behind us, he leaned over to kiss me. I felt his mouth begin to part as it brushed up against mine. Opening my mouth to his, I welcomed his tongue. His tongue playfully danced with mine. He reached for the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head. I slipped out of it. He tossed it across the room. I could already see that he is going to make me work on getting dressed again. I smiled up at him. Our eyes locked. There was a lust, a fire, a passion I have only ever seen in my husband’s eyes on our wedding night. He knew I was his and was not going to be with another person. It did something to John. It made him want me more than anything in this world. Now, with Josh, I was witnessing the same look. It was as if he knew, I was not going anywhere. As if he knew, I was his for the taking.

The look in his eyes ignited my own passion. I wanted him. I needed him. I wanted him to have me. Feverishly, I kissed him. He pulled away. He reached for the hem of his white t-shirt. I followed it along the length of his torso, drinking in every inch of his rock hard abs and chest.  He saw me looking him up and down and smiled. He knew what he did to me.

He leaned in. I thought he was going to kiss me, but he did not. His mouth was millimeters from mine. I could feel the air between us heat up. I wanted to go for the kiss. I started to move in, but he backed away. I was confused. I did not know what was going on. He reached for the waist band on my pants and unbuttoned them. Slowly sliding the zipper down, he reached into them. I felt his middle finger sliding along the underside of my panties. I gasped. His mouth met mine in a fiery explosion. I moaned into his mouth. It only drove him to kiss me harder. I felt him slide my panties to the side. One finger entered me. My breath caught in my chest. He backed me up to the bed. Wrapping an arm around me, he laid me down, gently, never breaking his kiss or removing his hand from my panties. He plunged a second finger in. Feeling his calloused fingers inside me cause me to explode. My back arched. I moaned into his mouth, he returned one as he felt my muscles contract around his fingers. 

“That is just the beginning,” he whispered in my ear. My skin tingled. Goosebumps rose to the surface. He ran his tongue over the surface of my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. Kissing his way down my neck, he maneuvered his body to be on top of mine. His soft lips met mine in a fury of short pecks. I opened my mouth to his. His lips enveloped my bottom lip, sucking on it. I wrapped my legs around his waist. I could feel the bulge in his jeans pressing against me.

I reached to pull his pants down, forgetting that mine were still on. He stopped me. He kissed down my neck until he reached my breasts. Sitting up, he reached for the waist band of my pants and pulled them off. I am left with nothing on while he still has his pants on. Being completely naked in front of him made me feel vulnerable, but that feeling quickly subsided when kissed me. My want, my need to have him overtook me. Again, I reached for his pants. This time he allowed it to happen. As I slid his pants down past his firm ass, I feel him center himself. He pushed himself up slightly. Working his hips until he entered me. I gasped. His slow rhythmic thrusts were driving me insane. There was nothing about this that screamed it was just sex. The way he treated my body made me believe there was something more to him.

His words ring in my head as he continues to take me to a place of ecstasy. My breath and heartbeat quicken. A panic attack began to take place. He sensed my uneasiness. Quickly, he stroked the side of my face.

“It’s okay, baby,” he said. Our eyes locked. He sweetly kissed my face. My body began to relax. I closed my eyes and just let him overtake me. I knew I was beginning to fall in love with him, but I was scared to. Having loved with everything I had for it only to be ripped away from me tore me apart. I did not want it to happen again, but I knew my heart would do what it wanted, despite the pleas from my head. I fully relaxed into his touch. I took a deep breath to clear my head. My second orgasm took over. My body convulsed like it never had before. My insides trembled. Tears ran down my face.

“Are you okay?” Josh asked.

“Yes, I’m fine,” I said. He wiped the tears from my cheek, smiling at me.

“Claire,  if you are not okay, you really need to tell me. I don’t want to hurt you or cause you any emotional pain.”

“I know you don’t and you aren’t doing any of that.”

“I felt the panic attack. What was that about?”

“Nothing you need to worry about. It was an inner battle that is gone. At least, I think it is.”

“You’re trembling.”

“It’s okay. It has nothing to do with the panic attack, but everything to do with you,” I said, smiling at him. I grabbed the sides of his face and brought his lips to mine. I tenderly kissed him, reassuring him that I was okay.

“I think we need to talk,” he said. “You stay here and I will get us something to eat. Don’t move a single muscle.”

“Okay,” I said. “I will wait right here.”

“Good,” he said. He got up, put on his boxer briefs and  left the bedroom. I sat up, wrapping the sheet around me. Running my hands through my hair, I thought about what was taking place. I wanted to love him. I could see us living on this farm together, caring for it during the day and caring for each other at night. I went through the checklist of the pros and cons of giving all of myself to him.

The pros:

He treats me with respect. He shows concern when he thinks I am hurting in any way. He respects the love I still feel for my husband. He asks questions about him to get to know him. He does not try to make me to forget John. He wants me to remember him. He is willing to wait to tell anyone about us, even his best friends. He has told me he is willing to wait for me. He wants to get to know me as much as possible. He asks all the right questions. The very last thing is, as Alison puts it, he is very nice eye candy.

The cons:

He is 12 years my junior. I barely know anything about him. My fear of building a life with him for it to be torn away. My fear of losing the memories and love I still have for my husband. The pain it would cause if this is just a fling and he leaves.

I was unsure of what to do. I wanted to give myself to him, mind, body, and soul, but my irrational fears were getting the best of me. I had brought my knees to my chest, crossed my arms over them and laid my head down on them. When the bedroom door opened, I jumped.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he said coming through the door with two plates balanced on top of two glasses of sweet tea. He had made us sandwiches and included some of his homemade pickles with some chips on the side.

“It’s okay,” I said. “I was just doing some thinking and not paying attention.”

“I hope everything is okay. I don’t want you to be worried about anything, especially when it comes to us,” he said, reaching toward me with one of the glasses and plates.

“Thank you,” I said, taking the plate and the glass of sweet tea. My fingers brushed his, creating butterflies in my stomach. This was it. I now knew that it was definitely love I was feeling for him. I was going to have to succumb to it, whether my head agreed or not. I smiled at him. He smiled back as he sat on the bed next to me.

“Is everything okay?”

“Everything is great,” I said as my heart began to race. I was jumping out of my skin. I wanted to reveal my feelings for him. I already knew how he felt.

“You are looking like yourself again.”

“Was I looking that bad?”

“No, you just looked like you were really worried. It scared me, especially when you began to panic during our love making.”

“I didn’t mean to make you worry. There was an eternal battle going on with my head and heart. I know it is ongoing and probably will continue to be, but there is something I need to tell you.”

“Okay,” he said, all the happiness draining from his face.

“Well, I don’t know how to start this,” I said, nervously.

“Just say what you want to say,” he said. “I’m a grown up. I can take it.”

“There is no need for you to take anything, Josh, because I believe I am beginning to fall for you.”

“Really?” he asked, his face lighting up.

“Yes, I look at you and I smile. We touch and butterflies form in my stomach. I think of you and goosebumps rise to the surface of my skin. It was the same way I was with my husband. I know what love feels like and this is definitely it, despite my trying to fight it. It still has taken me over.”

He just sat there smiling at me. The smile radiated in his ice blue eyes. This was a happy moment for him, but he did not say a word for what seemed like an eternity.

“Will you please just say something, anything.”

“I feel the same way about you, Claire, but you already knew that. I could not stop my feelings for you, no matter how hard I tried. I knew you were hurt and I shouldn’t have given into my feelings. I wanted to wait until you felt comfortable enough with me to begin anything, but I was at the mercy of my heart and head. The moment I saw you my heart skipped a beat. My head swam and my stomach was filled with butterflies. I thought I would be sick. I was just glad I was able to hold myself together long enough to have a conversation. I knew I didn’t ever want to be away from you once I was in your presence.”

“I don’t know how to respond to that,” I said.

“You don’t have to. Just seeing the smile spread across your beautiful lips is enough of a response for me.”

“Thank you,” I said, blushing.

“There is no reason to thank me, Claire. You are an incredible woman who deserves to be loved. I know that you and your husband had a love that could have lasted a lifetime, but that lifetime was cut short. I am here now. I want to be the one to continue to give you the love you need. My heart is yours. All of me is yours. I am not going anywhere. The only way I am leaving is if you kick me out of your life. I will be devastated if that happens, but I will understand if you need to do it.”