The Star Child (The Star Child Series) (2 page)

I only needed to close my eyes to bring her to the front of my mind. My photographic memory made it extremely easy for me to remember my mother in vivid detail.

Although I’d demonstrated perfect recall in my lessons early on, Stephen was so wholly unobservant that he didn’t know until I picked up our cook’s Bible on my fifth birthday and recited the Book of Luke in its entirety after a single reading. Stephen didn’t even know I could read.

Naturally, after that incident, he took every opportunity he could to brag, taking full credit for this anomaly. The types of remarks that he made on these occasions included: “Obviously my advanced parenting skills should be credited in this instance” or “He doesn’t get this ability from his mother’s side of the family”.

Once at the bottom of the cove’s staircase, I walked tentatively out onto the gray pebbles that dotted the shore. It was low tide, but the water was on its way back in. My shoes started to soak through as I walked further out onto the rocks.

At that moment, it occurred to me that I wasn’t really six, but seventeen, and I’d climbed straight into this other world from my own graduation. I still hadn’t seen anyone and instantly began to get annoyed. What was the point of bringing me here if she wasn’t going to show? I wasn’t going to wait. It was my graduation, which had been interrupted. I’d better things to do than to stand along the coast freezing. Pivoting on the spot, I headed in the direction of the lawn, then came to a halt.

The girl was standing ahead of me but off slightly to my left. I stared at her and my lungs filled with air as if I’d been holding my breath. I knew, without knowing how, that she was exactly my age, yet she seemed wiser than her years. Dark brown hair flowed down her back, so thick in appearance that it reminded me of a horse’s mane. It hung straight, framing her face and complimenting her shockingly blue eyes. Even when I saw her that first time at the age of six, I had no problem identifying beauty when it crossed my path. This young girl was excruciatingly beautiful.

Initially, she gave every appearance of a normal girl in a gingham dress, tights, and shoes. But she was a contradiction. Despite the common wardrobe, she held herself with an almost regal air that implied there was nothing ordinary about her.

Our eyes met. There was an intense jolt of recognition that rocked my senses. It was as if we’d planned to meet here on the shore, on this day, and she was exactly on time. It was the same that first time and again today. A blush overcame me and I became tongue-tied, despite a desire to appear cool and collected.

“Hello.” She smiled a dazzling smile and all of my feelings of inferiority went away. Still, I simply didn’t have it in me to speak.

When she took my hand in hers, all of the loneliness, the sadness that I’d been fighting vanished instantly. Her skin was extremely warm against my chilled palm. Suddenly, I was freezing, almost shaking with cold.

“Calienta, we must be going,” a man’s voice called out in the distance.

She turned at the sound of the voice, but reluctantly, it seemed. She didn’t let go of my hand. When she gazed at me again, her smile began to fade. I had only moments with her.

There was a crunch of rock on the beach, and we both turned to look up as the fading sun was blocked by perhaps the tallest man in the world. He practically loomed over both of us, so great was his height.

He smiled kindly, possibly wanting to reinforce that he truly meant no harm. He was a good man, that much was clear, and I found that I respected him. That I knew nothing about him mattered very little.

“It’s time to go,” he repeated, touching the girl’s arm. His expression conveyed a sense of urgency.

“I know, Father.” Despite her words, she didn’t release my hand but, instead, squeezed it tighter.

I tried to speak, tried to ask what this visit was about and to get more information, but I found that I couldn’t. When I opened my mouth, nothing came out. Perhaps it was a reminder that I had to stick to the script from that first encounter so many years ago.

Turning back in my direction, she kissed me lightly on the cheek, and my entire body flooded with warmth. The cold had left me.

“I don’t want to leave you.” There was an overtone of grave sadness in her voice. She meant what she said. I truly believed that. After another brief smile, however, she pulled her hand from mine and placed her hand in her father’s as they both started to walk away.

Instantly, I was seized with panic. She was leaving. “Wait.” Before I could think, I was running after her.

At the sound of my voice, both Calienta and her father turned around. I couldn’t bear for her to leave. Letting her go would be akin to losing my mother all over again. I couldn’t explain it, but I needed her to stay with me like I needed air to breathe. “Can’t I come with you?”

Some part of me wanted to go with them; where they were going didn’t matter. I was simply starved for attention from the one person whom I needed it from the most: Stephen. I didn’t want this feeling of warmth to end.

The man looked down at his daughter with such doting adoration, such obvious love. Jealously flooded my veins, took the driver’s seat for a moment. I’d wanted this from my own father for so long that to watch this type of caring was torment. It was surely akin to showing a cool glass of water to a man who’d been lost in the desert but not letting him drink it.

Today, my reasons were different for wanting to go with her than they’d been when I was six. Mainly it was my curiosity; my need to understand was getting the better of me. Why had this moment replayed in my dreams every night for the last eleven years? Why was I here yet again on my graduation day? Yet, I’d be disappointed this time as well.

Calienta’s father, whose name hadn’t been spoken, smiled and knelt down before me. In deep rich tones he said, “You cannot come with me today, Kellen. Not yet. You have much growing to do and a gran that will miss you.”

“You’re wrong. My gran’s dead now. There’s nobody who’ll miss me.” Calienta and her father gave me twin looks of such compassion that I knew they understood my pain. In the next moment, they were gone.

My toes were starting to get wet. I stood alone on the beach, unwilling to climb the stairs and see the lonely house that was a dim shadow of its former self without Gran.

“I’m ready to go back.” And whatever force of nature had brought me to that place listened.

***

SLAM! I was suddenly thrust back into my chair in the middle of the commencement speech, winded and dazed. The green spot in the air was gone and, as I looked around, everyone still wore the same bored expressions on their faces.

“…to move on and let a new generation lead us into further successes…” The speaker droned on.

What did this mean? What happened? It wasn’t as though I hadn’t dreamed about that day at the cove before, only about a million times, but
never
in the middle of the day. This clearly wasn’t a dream. It was something else.

I looked down at my shoes and found them covered in sand, my dress socks soaked through. This caused my heart to pound even more. Looking around, I searched for some other sign, some other indication that
she
was here, but there was nothing else out of the ordinary. After a few moments, I forced myself to relax, but the urge to leave was strong.

Gabe and I were among the last called to receive our diplomas, and it didn’t seem to take very long to get up front and return to our seats. Before I could further contemplate my experience, we were throwing our caps in the air and laughing with our fellow classmates.

From across the lawn, Gabe’s family ran to greet him and he was engulfed in a sea of aunts, uncles, cousins, and other relatives. That left me standing awkwardly, the only one without an excited family member, in the middle of a green field filled with happy people. The nearest exit beckoned to me.

Gabe must have noticed because he ran back to my side, yelling to his family that he’d meet them at the reception. As always, he was unswervingly loyal. He was constantly checking to make sure I was included.

“Hey, man, I almost forgot. Happy seventeenth birthday.” Gabe handed me a Snickers candy bar with a ribbon tied around it.

Birthday presents weren’t a common occurrence in my life, so this small gift was unexpected. My right hand closed around the candy immediately.

“Thanks.” Snickers candy bars were my staple food item, along with caffeine-free Pepsi. This combination was a good balance, given the amount of caffeine in the chocolate. Slowing down, we patted each other on the back in the awkward way guys have of trying to make it look like they aren’t hugging. I smiled at him.

I considered telling Gabe, not for the first time, about that day at the cove. However, again I kept it to myself. Today my hesitation had more to do with Gabe’s own excitement and his obvious desire to get back to his family. This wasn’t the day.

“I guess I’ll be seeing you,” I said.

“What? What do you mean? I thought you weren’t leaving until Wednesday. Plus the Commencement Ball is tonight. You can’t miss that. I bet there’ll be a lot of hot graduates there.” He winked. Gabe was always talking about hot girls, but he never got a date. In his freshman year, one girlfriend dumped him after a month, and Gabe spent the next three months crying like a baby.

“No. I don’t dance. Besides, they all still think of me as jail bait, you know?” This was true. When you’re under eighteen and in college, people either beat you up or avoid you like the plague; you are always overlooked. A pair of eyes would rest on mine, only to flitter away. “It’s better not to make them feel uncomfortable,” I added, continuing to head in the direction of my car, through the crowd of celebrating graduates.

“You’re gonna go, just like that?”

I cleared my throat, wishing I could leave, run away. I’d known this goodbye would be difficult, which is why I never told him about it beforehand.

“You don’t need to go right now, Kellen. Stay the next few days with me. Let’s hang out.”

I sighed. “I can’t. I’ve got a plane to catch tonight and a few things to do before I take off. You’ve got my cell number.”

“Yeah, I have your cell number, but where are you gonna go?” The tone in Gabe’s voice made me stop.

I often pictured myself as the older of the two of us, guiding Gabe through his important decisions, helping him cope with some of the more challenging areas of his life. Now I suddenly realized that he’d see this as abandonment.

“Kellen! K?” His brows rose up above his blue eyes to meet the start of his sandy brown hairline.

We’d entered the parking area. He waited, one eyebrow still raised, while I walked over to a nearby garbage can and tossed in the commencement program and my gown and cap. These things mattered very little to me. They represented Stephen’s dreams, not mine. I returned, passing Gabe to unlock my car, which was parked slightly to his right.

As I slid the key in the lock, Gabe’s sharp intake of breath made me smile. “Dude. Since when do you drive an Audi TT?”

I smiled slightly, knowing he'd react this way. Gabe was beside himself and brushed past me to touch the hood of the little sports car, its black exterior gleaming in the sun. It was a gorgeous car, but there was no way I was going to keep it.

“It was a graduation present from my father.”

“This little beauty is…” He mouthed the word “amazing” as though afraid to say it out loud. When I didn’t reply, he turned to look at me. “You don’t seem too excited for someone who got such an incredible car for graduation.”

I shook my head. “This is typical of my father. He can’t be bothered to show up for anything, so he buys everyone off. I don’t want his money and I don’t want his car.” I sounded self-indulgent, even to myself, but didn’t care.

“If you aren’t looking for a free handout man, I am. Why don’t you call up your dad, eat some crow sandwich, and say thanks?”

“No. But hey, give me a penny.”

Gabe stared at me as if I had two heads.

“Give me a penny.” I enunciated every syllable as I spoke, like I was speaking to a small child.

After some more hesitation, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a single penny, curiosity evident on his face. Holding it between his thumb and forefinger, he dropped into my open palm.

I smiled as I caught it and pocketed it. “There’s your handout. You bought yourself an Audi. If you don’t mind driving to Syracuse International Airport to pick it up, that is.”

“Kellen, you don’t want to—you’ll want to—” he stammered.

“This gift means nothing to me, so I have to find something that does.”

He nodded, not even close to understanding.

“I’ll text you the lot and row, okay?” I tried not to get choked up as I leaned over, this time really hugging him. There was no one around to see anyway.

“Where are you off to? You never said you were going to leave like this.” His words were an accusation, his eyes a reflection of his own disappointment.

“Look, Gabe, I need to get away from here. It’s time to start living a life for myself. I need a fresh start.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” He crossed his arms in front of him, an indication that I’d let him down.

“I’m going home. I’m going to Ireland.” And with a nod in Gabe’s direction, I hopped in the car, put the key in the ignition, and sped out of the parking lot, leaving him in my wake. I already wished he could come along.

CHAPTER TWO

NEW BEGINNINGS

The car purred beneath me as I drove to Stephen’s house that afternoon. Shaking off the out-of-body experience—or whatever had happened at graduation—seemed an impossibility. My mind replayed the events of that first meeting yet again.

After Calienta disappeared that night, I remembered that I could hear my name being called as I got closer to the cottage. It was Gran, my favorite person after my mother. Though she was Stephen’s mother, there was very little of Gran’s personality in him. How he’d become so horrible after having such wonderful parents was beyond anything I could understand.