The Steele Wolf (The Iron Butterfly) (21 page)

 
Curling up in my bed, I wrapped my arms around my knees and tried to sleep. I couldn’t contact Faraway because of the mists and the distance and once again I felt truly alone and scared. I grabbed a pillow and tried to snuggle my body around it but it didn’t work; I was too scared to sleep because of the nightmares so I lay awake in bed until the sun came up.

Chapter 21

 
Someone was pounding on my door. I could hear whispered voices in the hall and then rattling at my lock. At first I couldn’t understand what the commotion was all about until I realized that I had locked the door last night.

 
I had finally fallen asleep and wished I hadn’t, for what little sleep I had was once again plagued by nightmares of being tortured and abused. I rubbed my eyes to feel that they were crusty from the salt of my tears. I must have been crying. The pounding on the door became louder and I could hear Joss’ voice calling my name along with a softer feminine voice that must have belonged to Mona.

 
“I’m fine,” I tried to croak out, but my voice didn’t work. Clearing my throat, I tried a second time. “Joss, I’m awake, and I’m fine. So you can quit with the pounding.”

 
“Thalia are you sure, you weren’t answering,” His concerned voice reached me through the door.

 
“I’m sorry, I was just more tired than I had thought.”

 
“Well you’ve missed breakfast. Do you want something sent up? Also, I want to introduce you to my mother this afternoon.”

 
At his announcement I flopped back in bed and dragged a pillow over my head in despair at the reminder of what we were trying to accomplish with our lie. When I didn’t respond right away Joss pounded on the door again.

 
“Thalia?” He pounded. My stomach did a familiar clenching at the reminder of food. For some reason nerves and food didn’t mesh well with me. I sat up in bed and pulled the pillow off.

 
“No breakfast, I will be down shortly.” I listened for the retreating of steps and when I heard two pairs walk away I crumpled back onto the bed and pulled the pillow back over my head. A split second later the pillow came flying off of my face and I looked into the serious face of Kael.

 
“What are you doing in my room?” I hissed at him. I glanced around to see how in the world he had gotten in and my eyes immediately went to the open window. Of course that was his specialty, climbing in windows.

 
“You locked the door and weren’t answering so I decided to take the roof and see if you were alive.” He looked me over carefully as if searching for signs of a life.

 
“I’m fine.
 
Obviously you heard me talking to Joss, so why don’t you go back out the way you came in and leave me alone.” I gripped the pillow that he held in his hands and yanked it back.

 
“No,” He replied casually and came and sat down on my bed. I immediately jumped out of my bed on the other side. “At least I didn’t put my hand over your mouth,” He teased.

 
“Kael, please leave,” I whispered quietly.

 
“Not until I have a word with you.” He looked out the window as if to gather his thoughts before speaking. “You don’t have to do this.”

 
“Do what?” I asked.

 
“Pretend to be engaged to Joss. We can find another way.” He turned to study my face and he noted the dark circles under my eyes. “I can tell that you are bothered by it. You didn’t sleep last night, did you? Another nightmare?”

 
“It’s a little late now,” I grumbled. “It’s already been announced. And yes, more nightmares.”

 
“I’ll find them, Thalia. I’ll find the Septori and the Raven and break this bond and then the nightmares will stop.” He looked at me and I could see the determination written in his face. But his words that should have reassured me gave me pause for doubt; because once he did free us, he would be gone. And even though he irritated me and was short tempered I was getting used to him being around to depend on him.

 
My shoulders dropped in sadness at the thought of him leaving me, but Kael took it to mean something else. I saw him stiffen and jump from the bed.

“You doubt me?” He was irate. “You don’t think I can find them and—” This time it was me who walked over to him and put my hand over his mouth. Kael paused, his eyes widening.

 
“Don’t you think you talk too much?” I quipped lightly at him repeating the same words he had said to me last night. “Most girls like their men silent.” I looked into his eyes and saw the anger fade and his eyes lighten. “Kael,” I whispered his name. “If anyone is able to find the Septori and free us it would be you. I will never doubt that or your abilities. What you saw was my sadness at the thought of our bond being broken and you leaving me.” Kael froze every muscle in his body, afraid to move, listening to what I had to say. “Because even though you’ve at one time thought killing me would break the bond, I know you won’t. Instead, you have been my protector on numerous counts and even though you try to annoy me to the high heavens.
 
There are times I actually think of you as a friend and the thought of you leaving makes me sad.”

 
Kael reached up and grasped my hand and pulled it away from his mouth, but he didn’t immediately let go of it. “Thalia, I need to speak with you about something important.” But before he could say another word I heard a key turn in my lock and I spun around to tell Kael to leave but he had already disappeared. The door opened and Mona peaked inside carrying a tray of her chai.

 
“I know you said no to breakfast but I thought some bread and my special drink will help tide you over till lunch.” Mona looked nice wearing loose fitting pants that fell just below the knee and a short sleeve red and gold top. Her hair fell in a long braid over one shoulder. She placed the tray on my bed and sat on it with me while she handed me my drink. I hesitantly took the drink and was only going to take a sip but as soon as the fragrant aroma reached my nose I took a greedy gulp.

 
“Mona, I have to apologize about last night. I had no idea that Joss was so serious about our relationship that he wanted to be married.” I looked at her and saw her stiffen.

 
“Please, don’t pretend. How could you not know what his intentions were, when he brought you here to meet his parents? It is obvious. Let’s just pretend we never had that other conversation, shall we?” Mona gave me a wan smile and poured herself a cup of the drink and sipped it daintily before going on. “Well, it will all depend now on Gloria. After you meet her, the engagement might not stand.” Stiffly, she stood up and left the tray. “Believe me, you will want to eat lunch; you will need your strength.”

 
I stared wide-eyed at Mona’s departing back. I turned and looked out the window to see if Kael had overheard or would return but he didn’t reappear. Briefly I wondered what Mona meant and also what could Kael possibly have to talk about.

***

 
I think I was mentally preparing myself to do battle with a venerable dragon. Instead I saw an angel incarnate, lying on a bed in a dimly lit room. She looked like a child in a giant sized bed. The curtains had been opened and a small table was next to the bed with a familiar tray of drinks on it. Gloria was the epitome of her name. She was beautiful, angelic with long blonde hair that spilled down her shoulders and back. Her eyes were closed when we went into her room and her eyelids were so translucent I could see the blue veins. I thought that maybe she was dead but I could barely see the rise and fall of her chest with her short breaths.

 
Nero went and kneeled by her bed and grasped her hand, pressing his lips to her knuckles. I saw Gloria’s eyes flutter and then gently open. She gazed lovingly upon her husband and he leaned in to kiss her forehead. Joss stepped forward and kissed his mother’s brow as well. I watched as Gloria smiled and reached up to touch Joss’ face. Too nervous to do anything, I hung back out of sight.

 
“How are you feeling, Mother?” Joss asked.

 
“Better, Joss, now that you’re here.” Gloria’s voice was barely above a whisper and I had to strain to hear her. I could tell that talking drained her. Joss reached out his hand and laid it upon his mother’s chest and I could see his concentration as he tried to use his power to heal his mother. But because we were inside the mists it was harder to use. Sweat beaded across his forehead and I was shocked at how hard it was for him. Joss was one of the strongest healers I knew and. While, using gifts takes its’ toll physically on the Denai, I’d never seen Joss get drained this fast. A faint glow surrounded Joss’ hand and I could see that Gloria regained some color in her cheeks.

 
“Joss, it’s alright. You don’t have to waste your energy on me. It’s my fault for being so weak. If only I were a stronger Denai, then maybe this wouldn’t have happened.” The little bit of power that Joss gave Gloria it seemed to have brought back some of her old spirit.

 
“Mother, I have some wonderful news.” Joss intoned quietly while he reached behind him for my hand. Grasping my cold and clammy palms, Joss pulled me close to Gloria’s bedside so she could have a look at me. “I want you to meet Thalia. I have asked her to be my wife.”

 
Gloria’s eyes opened wide and flew to me in shock. Her grey eyes seemed to pierce into my soul as if she were looking for flaws. Her eyes traveled from black hair to my blue eyes down to my feet. I was very glad that I had chosen my blue short sleeved top and knee length skirt. Gloria looked me over carefully before speaking. “What family is she from? Is she from a Denai family?”

 
“I am the daughter of Bearen, from the Valdyrstal clan.” I spoke proudly, raising my chin up in the air a fraction of an inch.

 
“The Valdyrstal’s?” Gloria sucked in her breath as if she were holding it. “Joss, how could you? They are nothing more than barbarians, and they hate everything Denai. Your children won’t carry our bloodline.” Her small hand fluttered to her chest as if she was clutching her heart.

 
I clenched my teeth and bit my tongue to keep myself from spouting out at her. My family was not barbarians. And even though my clan hated the Denai, I didn’t think it was very proper for her to insult my family with me standing right there. But then I had a minute to digest what she was saying and it sounded very similar to my own father’s complaints about Joss. So if Joss was able to sit through my own father’s harsh words about him, I would do the same for Gloria. What I was pondering the most was Nero’s and Joss’ reasons for not telling Gloria the truth. Why did she have to be told the lie?

 
“Mother, I did meet Thalia at the Citadel.” Joss tried to calm Gloria’s fears.

 
“What? How? Everyone knows that clan doesn’t have any Denai blood. What, was she a servant?” Gloria wasn’t stupid and I had to catch myself to keep from sputtering and laughing, because she had nailed it on the head.

 
“No, ma’am. I actually met Joss on the road before I ever attended as a student. I am unique and unlike any Valdyrstal before me.” It was the closest I could come to the truth, without divesting my horrible past and scaring her about what her own daughter could be going through.

 
“Oh,” was the only thing that Gloria spoke before turning her head once more to Nero. “Please, try and convince him to wait on this decision. Think of the grandchildren; I don’t want any weak Denai in the family. Maybe if Tenya had been stronger she could have, she might have…” Gloria couldn’t go on as she was overcome with grief over her missing daughter. Nero leaned forward and held her and nodded a silent message to Joss who quietly grabbed my elbow and led me out of her room.

Chapter 22

 
The days wore on and even though I looked for him I didn’t see Kael. Joss said he was going to be scarce over the next few days since he was searching for leads on Tenya’s disappearance. I wished that I could be doing something as well to help look. But I had no idea on where to start or even begin. Joss gave Hemi and me a tour through the city but the more I saw the more trapped I felt. We walked for miles and came to the edge of the city and the stone wall and another tower. I looked over the wall to see the levers and pulleys that the farmers used to grow the helios flowers and other plants and vegetables. Just leaning over the wall made me feel dizzy and I had to step away and sit down on the ground. I was not a girl for heights, flying or the skycages, so to me it felt like another prison. Skyfell was beautiful and ethereal but it really was a gilded cage suspended in midair. I asked Joss to take me back to his home.

 
After another day the same as before with no news, I felt more restless inside.
 
I was soon pacing the main room like a tiger in a cage. The more I paced the more my anger grew at being useless. Hemi was sitting in an overstuffed chair with dainty pillows and the huge clansmen looked out of place while his eyes were half closed in sleep. I worried about stopping the Raven, finding Tenya, and Joss’ sick mother. At every sound I heard, my eyes would fly to the stairs to see if Kael had returned with news of where to begin. I was wound tighter than a bowstring about to be loosed and I had to find a release for my pent up energy and nerves. I saw Hemi’s eyes flick back and forward watching me. An idea hit me.